#stagesofgrief
You made it to thirty,
but with blood in your eyes.
I made my mistakes,
promise, you were the greatest kind.
Flowers and candles were the last thing I wanted
to be next to you,
now that all of it haunts me.
bitter goodbyes, addressed to your body,
black suits and black dresses,
their songs about sorrows.
In anger I waited,
how is all of this real?
If one of us ever passed,
I was sure it had to be me.
You are still in front of me
holding me in your arms
I still call out your name
“You‘re not gone, You‘re not gone.“
But your fingertips are paler than ever,
your eyes are closed, I can’t deny it‘s forever.
As I lay down next to you,
the world around us turned blue
Yet I have to live in it
finally letting you go.
Sep 12, 2025
Sep 12, 2025 at 1:47 PM UTC
Dad, where did you go?
I hate that you're dead,
I'm angry you're dead,
I wish I could go and rest
In that coffin buried deep,
I wish to travel to your grave,
To dig into the Earth,
Open your coffin and
Crawl inside to sleep,
Beside you again, so cozy,
I wish to pretend we're,
Together on the sofa
Giggling and laughing,
A feeling fleeting so fast,
I wish to grasp,
Onto the only image
Of your corpse once alive again,
That would talk and hold,
The burden of your Death with me,
To hold me, my daddy,
I wish to open your coffin,
Lay inside and pretend again,
And again and again,
You and I forever best friends.
Jun 6, 2025
Jun 6, 2025 at 4:13 PM UTC
your arms and legs kicked
your little heart was beating
on the ultrasound.
there was a lump in my throat.
i wanted to stay,
to lie in that cold, dark room
and watch you moving.
your dad has been excited
from the beginning
and i have been scared
my entire life
that i will mess this all up
and life will hurt you
the way it keeps hurting me.
but i will be brave
and do hard things to help you
because it's worth it—
and i hope you never know
how heart-wrenchingly,
how agonizingly far
i had to travel
to even begin to hope
that you could be mine
and that i could be your mom.
I hope you never wonder.
Apr 10, 2025
Apr 10, 2025 at 12:07 AM UTC
You.
You are parting to the heavens,
Leaving thoughts embedded
Into my mind.
How unkind,
That death must welcome you,
To hold you before I do.
This cannot be true.
How alive I felt.
Your smile,
contagious,
And how outrageous
That you're being taken.
As you now awaken in a land of clouds.
But now,
My heart is aching,
Thoughts are racing,
I miss you now.
I miss us two.
My lips,
Quivering
At a thought only one can dread.
'You are dead'.
As I lay
Sitting in pain,
Grieving,
By your bed.
Oct 26, 2023
Oct 26, 2023 at 3:09 PM UTC
Overcast and delicious
Wonderful yet suspicious
Flowers blooming
In a sky without blue
And even the grass is
Shining like new
On a bed of ash
I dance with the flames
I'd tell you again
But it's all in the name
My hands grow tired
From tending the fire
But the highest of heights
Exists to aspire
Passion drifts by
Feelings so high
I can't help but notice
The pain in my side
Destruction so swift
Catches my eye
Helpless and ******
I let it slip by
I'm sure that they know
Facts left in tow
Frailty is shattered
Mindless and battered
I reach for my faith
To withdraw scattered
Ages of time are
Sprinklings of dust
Seduced by sound
And tempted by lust
Why free the soul
To shackle the mind
Taken as whole
Cast out as swine
Show me the way
Pointless to say
In a box to exist
A strange-fated twist
Wanting to feel
A feeling of want
Questions and answers
Dance about and taunt
Feb 5, 2021
Feb 5, 2021 at 1:20 AM UTC
Sew all the holes in your heart
You smile, even though you might cry
You don’t feel empty anymore
Through life, you’ll experience pain
Just don’t lose that precious hope
Love surrounds you as you go.
© Sofia Villagrana 2018
Apr 15, 2018
Apr 15, 2018 at 2:21 PM UTC
You shiver more than you used to
Wanting to stay alone in the room
Trying to steal the memories
From photos of moments you missed
Don’t want to forget her
But tears smear these images.
© Sofia Villagrana 2018
Apr 13, 2018
Apr 13, 2018 at 2:08 PM UTC
Shouting from down the halls
Where you are screaming out your lungs
Claiming nothing is right
Refused to listen to the truth
Someone to blame, either me or you
But stuff like this happens all the time.
© Sofia Villagrana 2018
Apr 11, 2018
Apr 11, 2018 at 11:10 AM UTC
You wish to turn back time
So you can live a little longer
With the ones you love
But the ache will be stronger
And they will still be gone
So don’t beg for the impossible.
© Sofia Villagrana 2018
Apr 10, 2018
Apr 10, 2018 at 11:34 AM UTC
You played with all your toys
Smiled and talked to her
Putting up a good show
But it’s time to realize
No one is waiting at home
So don’t shake your head no.
© Sofia Villagrana 2018
Apr 8, 2018
Apr 8, 2018 at 6:00 PM UTC