#somethingsodeep
it’s just not fair
feed her your leftover energy
then fuel her with your lifeless stare
and now we behold
this constructed spirit
purposely provided to fit your mould
a hollow container, she’s not alone
but she is conditioned so deeply
to lock up the unknown
who is she?
for now she is a deer
only very few can see
that she is combatting her fear
Feb 21, 2021
Feb 21, 2021 at 10:31 AM UTC
its one way glass
my eyes are one way glass
the window to my soul
i can see out
but you can’t see in
overflowing and flooding the room
following the glimpse of strength
overcome by the shadow of gloom
trying to understand
is like trying to build a sandcastle
with no sand
dipping in and out of sleep
screaming to be free
until the screams are weakened within me
Feb 2, 2021
Feb 2, 2021 at 3:52 AM UTC
inside of us
are tiny little buckets
filling up
and watches you grow up
then the slightest thing
makes it spill over
and every crevice of your being
is encompassed by pain
fleeing through the tear ducts
you are temporarily healed
Dec 30, 2020
Dec 30, 2020 at 5:33 AM UTC
space for thoughts
lingering at the door
waiting to be caught
sharpening the claw
dismembered a soul
with a dream
they’ll take their toll
and muffle the screams
bring me new things
on a plate of love
i’ll feel the sting
but it won’t be enough
Dec 28, 2020
Dec 28, 2020 at 3:16 AM UTC
can we live
at the bottom of the toothpaste tube
the part where no one can get you
and no one bothers to use you
Nov 9, 2020
Nov 9, 2020 at 4:36 AM UTC
i want to roll you up
like a cigarette
and inhale you into my lungs
so you can live there
and when i smoke you
i can still smell you
on my clothes
and in my hair
Nov 9, 2020
Nov 9, 2020 at 4:31 AM UTC
we are all either survivors
or truly living
too scared to go
the rest found it too painful
to stick around
and felt no fear in giving up
and leaving
Oct 3, 2020
Oct 3, 2020 at 3:04 PM UTC
I have ten minutes to write this poem
I spare myself ten minutes
Every morning before I leave
Ten minutes to try and just breathe
Ten minutes act like they’re in a race
The one hundred metre sprint
They’re winning, it’s clear to me
They want to escape my life, as fast as they can be
With five minutes to go I look around for inspiration
The cold cup of tea on the table
Winks at me for validation
I remember and drink it til it’s empty
Four minutes to go
Til I become the cup of tea
Desperately urging to evaporate
Silently waiting til one of them drinks me
Lucky me I have two minutes to spare
I’ll finish this poem
I’ll grab my keys, put on my shoes
Arrive at my destination and pretend to care
Sep 9, 2020
Sep 9, 2020 at 4:03 AM UTC
who put the brakes on
who paused the healing process
paused it to make a quick cuppa
cuppa was never made
shoved in the back of my mind
it’s all piling in
crammed in every crevice
out of my eyes, it spills
that’s an improvement i guess
although i just see it as a loss
control spilling out
whatever is left, i don’t want
how long til my only desire changes
to become tiny and hide away
it’s getting old now
but it’s the only thought that stays
Aug 18, 2020
Aug 18, 2020 at 9:02 AM UTC
empty as an unlit bulb
with no lamp shade
lonely in the centre of the room
overlooked
May 26, 2020
May 26, 2020 at 1:47 PM UTC
good days
bitter sweet
but you know
it’s merely a treat
head in a bad place
buried in the sand
deflated balloon
tasted so bland
gaze into the distance
stare at the stillness
glance at your feet
just take a seat
try good thoughts
on the bad days
breathe just a little bit deeper
collapse and feel the rays
stare at the sky
and just try
try to connect
why do we stare at the clouds
imagining our dead relatives can see us
who fed us that lie
is that why I always stare at the sky
don’t read your book of mindfulness
lift the quilt
tuck every hair
can’t see me?
like you care
May 25, 2020
May 25, 2020 at 12:55 PM UTC
you never see it in her eyes
the discomforting shadow
who rests beneath the disguise
prop her up with bamboo
like a limp old flower
so she seems shiny and new
babbling to those who don’t care
and to those who do,
she will not share
reliving in flashes
disturbed by each sting
her heart has turned to ashes
unable to forget anything
as she clutches the wooden bench
she doesn’t feel the splinter
but it doesn’t quite compare
to the pain she felt that winter
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 1:48 PM UTC
Exhaustion seeps out of my sockets
Backed into a corner
Pinned to the wall by pain
Sorrow clouds the room as it starts to rain
Take me to the roof top
Stay here just for comfort
Delay the desertion
If you need me
I’ll be sleeping
Cross the road
Hand in hand
Fingernails digging in
Suffering locked to my skin
I’ll be the messenger
Tell every single part of me
Your agenda today is
To bury yourself and bleed
May 5, 2020
May 5, 2020 at 2:17 PM UTC
losing track of something so simple
evaporating through my fingers
and hiding beneath the blades of grass
i call for it, but it only lingers
being chased by the unknown
it has just smashed a glass
purposefully rupturing all that is divine
pieces shatter everywhere, at last
veins ache for release
pulling at the heart
tugging at the long string of fear
sickened by the lack of escape,
so unclear
can you help sew my skin together
stitch it back to normality
glue on a new pair of eyes
because my old ones are lost amongst my cries
Feb 9, 2020
Feb 9, 2020 at 2:57 PM UTC
nifty little brain
bringing a world of pain
world so complete
but pierces me with defeat
pierces through my heart
intentionally sharp
wearing a mask so sheer
so i only feel fear
developing a cycle
bravery is just an option
dangling off the cliff
cliff of gloom
if i fall
my future is doomed
future no more
so i hold bravery at my core
i only have the strength to cling on
that’s enough
for now,
for me,
until i’m gone
Jan 23, 2020
Jan 23, 2020 at 2:47 PM UTC
spiralling out of sight
allowing the touch of fear
fear curling up in the corner
loving, hating, smiles & tears
losing the feeling of loss
doesn’t stay gone for long
back to the station
where I am dragged to the floor
smothered & pushed down
by a faceless source of energy
effortlessly mournful and grey
smelling like severe sadness
so much to smile about
but not finding the strength to smile
longing for that excited tickle of glee
maybe that’s over, maybe it’s this, maybe...
but just for a while
Jan 20, 2020
Jan 20, 2020 at 3:30 PM UTC
falling in the vortex of your eyes
we are enclosed
alone in the warmth of us
wrapped up in a bow,
a surprise
delving into the comfort of you
momentarily hypnotised at every glance
fallen into place
all from a stolen dance
getting the sensation of butterflies
indigo brushes past me
whilst lilac kisses my cheek
bringing even more life to my soul
i hope you feel as enchanted as I do
because I’ve started to feel whole
all because of that one stolen dance
Jan 3, 2020
Jan 3, 2020 at 2:04 PM UTC
my body is a matchbox
full to the brim of kindling
posing as a lit match
flames stuck to me, so attached
i wore the flame
but the flame also wore me
wore me down
until my body became a ghost town
i’d flicker and light up
whenever anyone needed me to
but then fall apart so quickly
in the fingertips of you
keep going for more
there are hundreds to use, my dear
but keep an eye on the matchbox
because when it is empty,
keep the ash as a souvenir
Dec 31, 2019
Dec 31, 2019 at 7:53 AM UTC
knock knock knock
oh come in
for a nibble
for a drink
there’s so much i have to tell you
do you remember me?
i saw your old car the other day
it will always belong to you
i couldn’t unglue my eyes from the number plate
almost as if i saw a ghost
it pained me to look away
almost worth crashing for
let’s have a cup of cocoa
and a piece of dark chocolate
and finally catch up
you can’t hear me
can you?
here, let me hold your hand
maybe you will understand
oh, just like that
you’ve disappeared into ash
i don’t think you were real
just a fond yet painful
memory
Dec 28, 2019
Dec 28, 2019 at 2:44 AM UTC
at last I think I’ve realised
swirled through the motions
like a spinning top
with no intention to stop
like the key meets the lock
I reach for a reading
if it’s bad I’ll simply block
if it’s good I’ll keep believing
transparency cradles the outline of a storm
we can clearly see each other
notice the heat itching to come closer
each crack of thunder
indicates another victim being born
keep it short and sweet
time is carefully limited
allow the rage and agony to finally meet
because now,
nothing is prohibited
Dec 28, 2019
Dec 28, 2019 at 2:43 AM UTC
welcome to this issue
issues from a loony
escaping this earthly gravity
gravity pulling her down
she pushes forward and screams
**** off & sing it yourself
she might just have the key
straddling the comedy
values the whispers
she has one of those faces, y’know?
to be different
to be unique
cherishing every harmonious beat
Dec 23, 2019
Dec 23, 2019 at 1:23 PM UTC
I’ve purchased a secret
Purchased and now possess
Lingering on your lips
Longing to leap onto mine
Softly break the silence
With a stupid little melody
Ignoring the pain around us
The distress, unease & austerity
Force open the wound
Allow the anguish to seep out
Leaking onto your new shoes
Staining them with suffering
Visit the vanquish
Tie the lace around their neck
Oh, just let them rot
Shortly after, I’ll go cash my cheque
Dec 22, 2019
Dec 22, 2019 at 11:51 AM UTC
the safety net no one asked for
clasping at the sides
tightening the jaws of betrayal
ever so quietly strengthening itself
each bite of your innocence
enhances the clutch
dismembering your freedom
stacking loyalty on top of love
laughing internally
laughing at YOU
the cloned feeling of fear
waits for the green light
meticulously planning the next attack
wait til it’s dark
wait til you’re in the darkest of places
and in that moment,
mortality is imminent
Dec 22, 2019
Dec 22, 2019 at 11:25 AM UTC
she retreats and sits
ties her hair delicately
inhales harmony
exhales gratitude
with the pen to the paper
she hesitates for a while
so much she could say
almost too many thoughts to compile
longing to write about such significance
expecting it to flow so easily
and hoping to reflect on something so magnificent
she rests her head in her hands
ticking over in tranquility
comforted by the unaccustomed feeling of stability
it’s just the beginning, she said
she puts down the pen,
rips out the page,
she yells ‘carpé diem’
and begins to seize the day
Dec 21, 2019
Dec 21, 2019 at 6:51 AM UTC