#shutting
dead end dreams
hard to shake off
come around and
come around again
taking up valuable space
and the time they take
slamming doors shut
can take a lifetime.
Mar 15
Mar 15, 2026 at 10:47 AM UTC
I am told to speak up,
Then to shut up by the same people.
Alone, I'm in this big tub,
Water filling it up until I get crushed by the pressure.
The people talk continuously.
I wonder where they got that confidence from.
Because I can do neither,
Maybe because I was taught that when I was a kid, in my own little "home".
Dec 24, 2025
Dec 24, 2025 at 3:07 PM UTC
The silence in my mind
grows ever louder
It feels like an ever-growing tide,
slowly eroading away at me
My memories, my light,
my hope, my soul
Are slowly being drowned out
by the silence
I cry out, "My friend,
why is it you overrule me?
Turning rest into emptiness,
solace into isolation."
It answered: "Fool!
You wanted to be everything,
so now you are nothing."
And I, who gave up myself
to be everything they needed,
can only listen as Silence speaks for me
Nov 4, 2025
Nov 4, 2025 at 12:12 PM UTC
Laying here,
5:08,
I can't believe it's so late.
On my phone,
Once again,
I can't believe this might end.
My life is in pieces,
I'm spiraling,
Attempting to create,
Something inspiring.
But how can I focus when I can barely breathe.
My eyes slowly shutting,
I haven't brushed my teeth.
So I stand up and go.
No sleep for me.
Soon I find that it's 8,
and my day has begun.
May 24, 2020
May 24, 2020 at 8:16 AM UTC
i'm drowning in my own thoughts
no one can hear me screaming silently
i'm trapped inside with no way to the surface
my whole body feels as heavy as the whole world
why did i shut down?
i don't want this anymore
i don't want to live like this
with my chest feeling so heavy
with my breath being not steady
Jan 9, 2020
Jan 9, 2020 at 3:22 PM UTC
*Shutting idea?
Mystery it may seem
for how long will it dim?
May be,
until we find
something more to it
to rekindle out of spring!
With all the insight
I find no way out
to become whole so soon
but to wait
for the
blue moon
to shine upon 'us'
to find 'us' to bloom..
There's no plan
should I wait or leave?
The quest continues..
Are we not
worth being
together?
finding
&
fixing
me
&
you
piece
by
piece...
Solving
the
puzzle
to make 'us'
whole
on
the
way
back
to
our
home.....*
May 6, 2017
May 6, 2017 at 6:16 PM UTC
No matter how much you deny,
A lot of people don't know,
What really does go,
On in your mysterious mind;
They say you're ordinary,
Sweet, simple and soft;
But I know you better,
You're enigmatic and a hopeless fool;
I see right through you,
I see right past your innocent smile,
I see right past your sweet voice,
I see that you're a lonesome being with no choice;
To you, trust is a treasure,
Which has no measure;
To you, trust is a luxury,
That you cannot afford to lose;
You have a biased view,
About this world;
You think everyone is waiting,
To hurt you real bad;
You think the world wants,
You to fall deep into a bottomless pit,
You think they'd love to see,
The light in your eyes unlit;
According to you,
Sharing your secret,
Is like giving away,
Your credit card;
You may be a strong person,
But right now,
You're cautious, fearful and downright scared,
You're scratched, bruised and disfiguring-ly scarred;
You'd rather ****** your own family,
Than share your deepest thoughts,
You'd rather become a detached, holy saint,
Than give anybody the access to your heart;
To you, trust is a treasure,
Which has no measure;
To you, trust is a luxury,
That you cannot afford to lose;
But my dear, don't you see,
That you're a trapped bird,
Locked in a golden cage
Totally not free;
But my dear, don't you know,
That we, your people, aren't your real foes;
Your real nemesis, my dear,
Is you;
At first, your thoughts may seem mild,
But after a while,
They'll start running wild,
Staining, tainting and darkening your pure, pure soul;
Your poisonous thoughts will,
Take away the goodness of your heart,
Take away the humanity within you,
And carefully replace it with -
Fiery, scalding, burning anger,
Cold, grudging bitterness,
And a deep, carnivorous hunger,
To annihilate the ones who love you;
So, stop being so mistrustful,
Open out your heart
Slowly at first,
Then all at once;
Do not fear being backstabbed,
Because no matter what,
There shall always be people,
Who will be there for you;
Do not fear getting heartbroken,
Because, my friend, you're so strong,
And there are thousands of others,
Who'd help you mend your heart;
Do not fear everybody,
There might be ten people,
Who might hurt you,
But a thousand more who love you;
Contrary to what you think,
Pushing away the world,
Will make you sadder,
Not safer;
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 9:02 AM UTC
Being who he is
it came as no surprise
that he could not be anything else
but alone
Shutting every door
until nothing but the looming shadows
from the drapery
remained
Four walls were needed
Four walls and no doors
Nothing that could be opened
or brought inside
to share the space
and it was always my place to stand
patiently
waiting for a welcome
that never comes
Aug 11, 2014
Aug 11, 2014 at 3:53 PM UTC
I know I always do it;
I shove people away.
I bury myself alone to protect them
because I do not want them to hurt
by revealing my own pain.
It has come to the point
where I am so concerned, so fearful,
at the prospect of being a burden
that I am blind to a crucial fact;
the most painful thing
I have ever endured
was my best friend
pushing me aside
and
shoving me away,
because she thought
she weighed me down.
And now I am realizing
solitary silence and defensive deceit
cause more agony to a friend
than any volcanic mountain range
of searing, fiery truths
could ever reap.
Jun 27, 2014
Jun 27, 2014 at 4:56 PM UTC