#shaving
My friend called Bruce
had a beard
long and loose
If you looked closely,
finding
food there hiding
It didn't bother him,
he was kind and giving,
until a mouse was found there
living
What can I do about this tenant
I have acquired?
this beard I have grown
must be fired
But first find a new house
for my guest
mouse
So I looked closely
into the beard
to find, a small family
had been reared!
With some scissors
Bruce gave a grin,
As I removed the beard
from his chin............... and so the beard got sheared
Outside within a hedge
was an old birds
nest
The beard slotted in
and the family
within
I had a small doubt,
but then
five heads
popped out!
Returning to Bruce,
what was left of his beard
got sluiced
As sharp as a lazar
I used my cut-throat razor
So ends the story of
how I came to
spruce up Bruce.
Mar 12, 2016
Mar 12, 2016 at 1:09 PM UTC
I never liked shaving,
a blade in my hand,
scraping across body hair
that never asked to be gone.
They called it *****
so I was *****
I carved at my skin,
slicing away
the girl they wanted me to be.
The girl I was told to become.
Now my armpits are hairy,
the razor’s long dead,
rotting in its plastic grave.
And me?
I don’t care anymore.
Aug 27, 2025
Aug 27, 2025 at 2:18 AM UTC
I threw away the Nair
and stopped shaving.
Bye Brazil
So long Landing Strip
Strip–tease...oh please what a joke
There aint gona be no,
de-forest–tation
Do I hear pro-tes-tations of a whole nation
hair craze?
in a daze?
Fanatics about hair?
Yelling and screaming about down there?
Well hell, that's just too **** bad.
cuz I'm going in
an livin in
an growin a
Jungle
So big so wide...
so Free
no more shavin for me.
And what did the men do?
What men?
Where are they?
Guess they are lost in the jungle.
They lovin it in there.
Aug 16, 2025
Aug 16, 2025 at 4:55 PM UTC
Do you see that?
Fur covered legs
Do you see that?
Arm pit freedom
I stopped shaving
and plucking
and tweezing
No more E-lec-troly
Hey sis!
The hair has started growing
the more FREE I am becoming
No! I don't shave no ********* More
Except for my head.
You can wear the long hair for a while.
See you in the salon.
Aug 16, 2025
Aug 16, 2025 at 4:37 PM UTC
There once was a gal from Berlin:
The hair on her chinny-chin-chin
Was thicker than wool,
And it made her blades dull
Whenever she shaved to the skin.
Mar 21, 2025
Mar 21, 2025 at 8:59 PM UTC
Though shaving with soap is very cheap
The cuts can also run quite deep.
Be careful round the lips.
Or gout in scarlet drips.
Perhaps gel’s price isn’t so steep.
Jul 26, 2024
Jul 26, 2024 at 4:11 PM UTC
the clippers buzz a drone against my skull
the hair falls like dead flies
into the sink and onto the floor
loose curls crawl down my shoulders and back
tickling my neck
afterwards i stare hard into the mirror
searching my own face
for someone i could love
or at the very least live with
Jun 26, 2023
Jun 26, 2023 at 6:53 PM UTC
Ziplock tie,
a piece of skin caught in a jean
fabric stained, sticky sweat
under a cool breeze. A little wind in
between; hanging cause
Shaving necessary for release from
pores
Bumps and scrapes
awkward looking, and ingrown hairs
blades of grass—pasture flesh land
Sprints of watered perfume, and
the only time man has a tender hand
Cleanliness; cleanse of appearance
to look and feel good in the end
_...do play ball in taking care of your *****
Nov 29, 2022
Nov 29, 2022 at 3:24 PM UTC
Each time I shave my face,
I scrutinize with my eyes,
To look for my mistakes,
But my eyes, they fraternize,
With the enemy on my chin,
And so, too late,
When on a date,
I feel them with my fingers
Sep 27, 2019
Sep 27, 2019 at 1:13 PM UTC
the permanent shaving cut (why god made humans cut)
~for my father~
in the class of men
who need a scrubbing shave
I am, a twice a day him-hymnal
to keep the face pliant,
the cheeks smoothied,
in case some young children
come visiting, needing kissing,
by a funny-foolish Poppy
hell, I shave before I go to bed
cause I sleep shirtless,
my chin’s scruff cuts my shoulder
that badly, that here I am, awoken,
writing ******* poetry at 5:09am
but the specific cut requesting a poem
all for its lonesome is actually a newlywed pinch,
where the straying, whirring blades grabbed ahold
of the soft tissue flesh beneath the eyes,
where the no-sleep, permanently black stained “circles” live,
those tree rings of the human body
shaving cuts...what’s the big deal!
this one painful, sending out a weather alert to the brain, saying:
“Hello old friend, this red busted blood cell,
that’s me, is now a permanent resident,
a red badge of stupidity (yours),
a forever face fixture that will be
a pallbearer at your funeral,
jump into your grave with you,
for one last final deep dive drive-by screaming”
so now when I shave,
this perfect red light signal of a cautionary tale,
smiling remindingly to stick to the round and fleshy fat parts,,
pale red cheekiness where the only natural indentation are
two **** dimples - the ones no longer visible,
under the stubble of a life now measured in
too many decades
***why do we cut ourselves?
(now grow serious)
not for fashion,
a scratcher beards an even greater skin-ny irritant,
this human gesture, this marker of the
daily changing leaves coloring,
this forced to mirror-address
who is that person vision we’ve never before met,
with ridged furrowed forehead,
and every day older markings appliqués,
summarizing a race to some ending,
that pulling weeds from the ground
or the **** grounds of your face,
is endlessly pointless but necessary,
a god given way to say fool!
you’ve been given a mo’ day,
and another night, wake up,
do something useful***
kiss those babies too much,
write many short poems,
do a goodun,
remember,
this day,
for when you see that red dot mark of living,
it’s just another signage of closer to dying,
no use in denying, use this memory well
to make yourself attractively useful and*
*maybe,
some other human apparition might
come along and you’ll be reminded
smooth is better n’ gruff,
and thus shaving
helps perpetuate
the species.
Ogdiddynash*
Sep 7, 2019
Sep 7, 2019 at 3:06 PM UTC
Non descript hedge rows sculpted into
ornamental animal via botanical artist
wielding pruning shears and chain saw
carved, limned and sculpted with wrist
wrought voila uber prestidigitatiously
head turning botanical picturesque Sun
kist animals at an exhibition transformed
miraculously via Te Deum divine fist ***
ping, whence realistic fauna burst alive
with an explosion of colorful twist and
shout of foliage, where scalloped super
flu us detritus manna for naturalist de
cid Jew us detritus capacious carpet boar
animation punk chew waiting groundswell
Liszt ghost would arise from the grave to pro
deuce magnum opus without a beat missed
such shrubbery mimicking the likeness, sans
glistening fleshy sin yew, and gist about ready
to become bone a fide (green behind the ears)
thriving vox populist, per species and genus
wrought thrashing into birth as delicate crafts
man promised to imbue life, liberty and pursuit
of happiness whittling away leavings, thus did
exist the nascent then omnipresent visible entity
emerging from cocoon an herbalist meta morph
hosed from imagination of skilled, practiced and
mentalist conniver viz extracting the initially
obscure blessed beast, where with august magic
wielding tools of this specialty vis a vis bringing
breathing manifest destiny ala Pinocchio (trans
formed from wood to flesh), whereby finest
dexterous chiseling blistering hands baffle on
lookers as coterie of topiary harvest breaths mind
bogglingly astoundingly authentic rooted ready
to frolic in the grass menagerie a gamesome group
of linkedin live progeny, the MichelAngelo of
dirtiest canvass, an earthen tabula rasa of sorts
where application threshing re: electric cool laid
ahs hid test brings out chlorophyll doppelganger
green hued key luster.
May 18, 2018
May 18, 2018 at 8:03 PM UTC
this one has a beautiful coat
says the cat *******
bleeding beneath her jeans
Jan 7, 2018
Jan 7, 2018 at 1:13 PM UTC
I held it momentarily at my throat gliding
it effortlessly as it permeated in tears of release.
You should have known this was coming,
the signs were there, but I couldn't keep it
hidden. I released the blade upon my throat.
I held it momentarily, then cleansed myself
of a burden that had hung there far to long.
You should have seen your tears in the mirror,
that part of me now gone. Laying on the ground
crumbled lifeless, A history of growth now fallen.
Apr 15, 2017
Apr 15, 2017 at 2:42 PM UTC
The grip on my disposable razor
Is tighter than the grip of my own reality.
Reflection distorted by the humid condensation,
I still see my hands trembling as I shave.
I still see the designer bags under my eyes.
The familiar aroma of shaving cream,
Paired with the sobering twinge
Of the nicks from my razor.
The haphazardly spilled pills,
Horizontal bottles in the medicine cabinet.
White-knuckling the porcelain sink,
Decorated with dried toothpaste and the blood of my gums.
I reflect to my reflection
Distorted by drip drops of tap water,
“Am I still myself?
Or simply a prospect of my own delusion?”
Mar 24, 2017
Mar 24, 2017 at 2:20 PM UTC
i am a hypocrite
i have my fair share of selfish days
i only do it differently
self harming, i mean
i chug alcohol
like i should
be poise in sipping milk
inhale
like i'm not slowly being addicted
sideway shaving
is as close to actually cutting
i'll ever get
and i'm a fake
albeit i like to think i'm not
i like to think my smiles are real
and 70% of the time, they are
mostly..
but that 30% still exists
and that's proof alone
that i'm a hypocrite
Jul 9, 2015
Jul 9, 2015 at 5:15 AM UTC
You are as sharp as a knife
When some aren't careful, you could cause them their life
So dangerous yet so fragile and used every day
In the shower, on a hook across from me, you lay
You make me soft as a cloud
Or make me cry out load
You don't last more than 2 weeks
And for the girls that might forget you, get called freaks
So let's please make a deal
And let me express what I feel
If I hold you every night before bed
Don't make my arms and legs turn red
Jun 1, 2015
Jun 1, 2015 at 6:37 PM UTC
I asked, "Should I shave?"
You said that you didn't care.
I said, "I love you."
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 9:39 PM UTC