#selfreliance
I can't wait to say goodbye to everybody.
I can't wait to have nobody
On my back, cancer
In my life. Aloneness is the light of my dreams
I cut through like jungle vines
With Anaklusmos.
These buzzards eclipse the sun in their circling
Black wings outreaching
Every flying arrow.
I try to be good: I speak, I talk, I chat,
I try. But, with people, as
Opposed to poetry,
These words never really speak to me.
Oct 15, 2025
Oct 15, 2025 at 10:42 PM UTC
In twilight realms where masks adorn like stars,
The moon casts her glow most tenderly
Upon those who dance unadorned by pretense,
Their radiance deemed too bright for mortal eyes.
Your empathy—a garden of midnight blooms,
Protected by the trellis of sacred boundaries,
Not to wither beneath harsh judgment's sun,
But to preserve your light for worthy wanderers.
Those who carved rivers of sorrow in your soul
Yet deny the waters flowing from their hands
Cannot offer reconciliation's sweet nectar.
Peace resides not in their distant approval,
But sleeps beside you, faithful as moonlight,
A companion through your darkest hours.
The distance woven between pain and present
Is gossamer silk that must not be torn.
Breaking patterns is the dance of dawn,
The first light dissolving night's heavy chains,
Your silhouette fading like morning mist
From doorways where love never flourished.
In authenticity dwells your freedom's poetry—
No longer folding your boundless spirit
Into shapes too small to hold your vastness,
Standing unveiled in your own sacred truth.
Touch not the fragile wings of survivors in flight—
Their path traced through storms of betrayal,
The space they've claimed between wound and healing
Is hallowed ground won through countless tears.
Make peace with misunderstanding's shadow,
Release the weight of constant explanation,
For your truth blooms most beautifully
When nurtured in soil that welcomes its roots.
May 19, 2025
May 19, 2025 at 11:31 AM UTC
If one day you break, too tired to cope,
And search the dark for hands of hope
Don’t reach for theirs, they come and go,
With fleeting warmth and faces you don’t know.
Just lift your left and find your right,
The one that’s stayed through every fight.
Your other hand, scarred, quiet, true
Has carried all that life gave you.
It wiped your tears when no one cared,
It held your chest when pain was bared.
No vow, no oath, no distant friend
Can match the grip it dares to lend.
So fold your fingers, let them bind,
And trust the touch you always find.
For storms may rage and trials descend
But none defeat the hand you lend.
The world breaks many, but never the one
Who learns to stand with hands of one.
May 11, 2025
May 11, 2025 at 3:59 AM UTC
Hey, little frog
on your pad in a pond
surveying your kingdom green
You don’t have a golden ball,
no princess came to call
and these lily pads are all you’ve seen
You’re just fine in your domain
and have no reason to complain
with your fine banquet of flies that teem
So you sit strong and alone
on your very own green throne —
just now swims up a queen
Oct 12, 2024
Oct 12, 2024 at 4:52 PM UTC
Part II: Atmosphere
Every cut
Every burn
Another remembrance of self harm.
I found faith
Not in words
Not in religion
I found faith in my heart
God was never on my side
But I forgave a long time ago
Screaming into the atmosphere
I let my fears go
I let my hatred die
Heaven was never in my sights
If I'm going to Hell
I'll go out with a bang
The memories are what have kept me going
I'm a soldier
I'm a fighter
I'm claiming my throne
I won't give up
I'll never give in.
Dec 9, 2020
Dec 9, 2020 at 7:59 AM UTC
Call me a medicine man,
and yeah, I'll be there for you sure,
dedicated to you only,
to help the one without a cure.
Once I step inside your heart
you'll begin to doze off,
and those shaky hands will be soothed
while letting your head rock to and fro; can't be helped.
You'd be my tiny little sleepyhead
holding that little dose in your palm
and you'll soon wander off
deep into the neverland of your own version,
forgetful of human senses:
the striking smell, the taste to savour,
the sound the music that is ever whimsical,
the bright light and the dim dark.
And I reckon you already like it
all surrounded by the forgetfulness
—the numbing sensations nullifying your will to rise,
and the pleasure finds shelter within you.
Then in your dream
you start to want me more,
not knowing the impending consequences
of forgetting all about yourself,
of drowning
further into the river
that we all call the sorrow,
and of falling faster and farther
until you know nowhere to return.
I call out "Wakey-wakey," then,
prying open your eyes and every doors
that'll lead you outside with haste
—the light shines upon your pupils
still drowned in tears,
bewildered, with your legs wobbling.
Yet you're no longer my sleepyhead anyway,
so walk on, off with you,
carry on with your stiff legs
—though you pretty much look like
you'll need a stick just to stand upright -
and do come see me
if you ever need me again.
Sep 10, 2020
Sep 10, 2020 at 2:51 AM UTC
I’m no longer a little pup.
In all aspects, I’ve grown up.
Self reliance is not a right to me.
It’s a requirement, what I have to be.
Jan 9, 2020
Jan 9, 2020 at 11:32 PM UTC
A reflection is shadow made of light.
I look at myself. “Who you trying to fight?“
You know he’s crooked cause his head is cocked.
It’s rebellion.
His past is in flames, he’s a hellion.
That’s why he don’t hear what they be tellin him.
He hears his own music.
He let’s it in, he grooves it.
It flows through his body when he moves it.
You can always be happy if you choose it.
Listen to the dope beats
and keep a couple close to your throne seat.
It’s emotion in wave form. There is no rawer art
or rarer reward. For if you truly listen
changes will start in the you-est you.
I was shocked too but I swear, it’s true.
All sorts of things will change you, if you let them.
Aug 4, 2019
Aug 4, 2019 at 5:34 PM UTC
be your own anchor
learn to sail your own sea
leave behind what has hurt you
welcome what makes you feel free
Jul 26, 2019
Jul 26, 2019 at 5:50 PM UTC
Me, myself, and I
Life is like the sun
It goes up and down and around
Good days
and bad days
I trust myself and know my place
Outside of society
as it is a danger to all
I must think for myself
and not conform as they do
The world’s opinion is not my own
And thus need not be acknowledged
Like Galileo and Newton
I am misunderstood
but I know who I am
Fortune is my friend
and is with me
but I am all I need
Jul 21, 2019
Jul 21, 2019 at 12:28 AM UTC
"Stop yelling at me," I tell the walls,
as if they were the culprit.
Stop keeping time with my fingernails,
tracing squares in chalkboard wallpaper.
I have forgotten you.
If only you would forget me.
You trace lines on my skin,
Like a cartography of forgotten myth.
"Don't tell me what to think."
You don't own me.
"Don't tell me how to feel."
That is a priviledge you no longer possess.
"Leave me alone,
Old friend."
Leave me be.
Feb 28, 2019
Feb 28, 2019 at 6:34 PM UTC
I used to think that all I wanted
was someone to love me,
someone to give me all their
warmth and trust and sympathy.
The more I sit here in this
empty room beside a window,
the more I realize that that
kind of life ain't meant for me.
I'm making friends with all the
shadows climbing on my rooftop,
and I hear music in the leaves
that rustle in the wind.
And I dont need no pity, girl,
I kinda like the struggle.
Like feeling 'round for the doorknob
when the lights are dimmed.
Each day someone will call and
offer me a new solution,
and while I do respect the
depths of their true concern,
they have to realize solitude
and silence both are virtues -
but that's a lesson that I
hope they never need to learn.
Dec 17, 2018
Dec 17, 2018 at 3:16 PM UTC
Sometimes I trust my instinct,
but it tells me to do things in ways
that no one dares
It can implore me there,
to take paths no one walks
I fear the fresh footsteps I make
on the new brick road
I'm a social animal, a human;
doing what others do seems the right
thing to do
Once you're a bit different, society condemns
They raise an eyebrow, they don't give
their consent;
But I've seen great people do great things
Because they had faith in their instincts.
They have the drive to keep going,
To try and even fail.
I'd very much like to do the same,
At least I have real
control over my own doings.
If I succeed, I have only my instincts to celebrate.
If I fail, I have only my flaws to blame.
Everything under my possession,
Ne te quaesiveris extra, as they say
It's your life to do, your life to bear.
Nov 30, 2018
Nov 30, 2018 at 1:02 PM UTC
No one can save me
I'm cornered, anxious
The clock is
Beating along
My racing heart
No one can save me,
My pillow is rugged
The window
Keeps the prairy world
From flooding in
No one can save me,
I'm hesitant, indignant
But I'm determined
No one can save me,
But me
Nov 6, 2018
Nov 6, 2018 at 8:58 AM UTC
Turned to stone
Colors fade everyday
Surrounded alone
Wear a smile
Memories to get through
I can get lost finding you
Oct 6, 2018
Oct 6, 2018 at 5:12 AM UTC
A plane
Drifting through the wind, the rain
In its own dimension, it’s own plain
The sky of the Caribbean
Lust and meaning-
Scattered throughout its passages
Yet it carries itself
Sure in its own capacity
Divinity and celestial depth
Self sustained
Capable, gliding
Without real definite meaning.
Lights go down
Thunder strikes all around-
Wings fly, in spite,
Trajectory shaking its hefty massed might
And in the moment, the path it glides and follows
Sure in its travels-
Shakes and quivers
Stutters a bit
And is lost amongst all other possibilities.
Tonight is a weird night
Will it make its flight?
-These wings fly and glide onward
The stars will guide tonight
Skyward
And let the plane fall back in place
In the Caribbean
Where it may have lost its pace
Yet, nay
It will make its own mark
In its own distance
Amongst the sparks
And constant side shots
Reliance, it remarks-
On its own
Donning inspiration
To the wind
And fellow offspring-
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018 at 6:14 PM UTC
Life Without Resentment
Nearly everyone has stored
among hardbacks and paperbacks
or dusty mental drawers
resentments, gathered incidentally
unintentionally or
by rubbing shoulders
with ingrates and other
irritating souls
Meeting her, she exudes
an excitement for what is said
while displaying an openness
a self-reliance
that disallows any acrimony
indignation or animosity
No bitterness is harbored
nor rancor secreted
among the ruins
of her disappointments
Not long-suffering
the past is forgiven and forgotten
Not apprehensive or perturbed
she treads in this moment
with the power of living in the present
no longer feeling victimized
She lives refreshed, restored
without resentment
Dec 27, 2017
Dec 27, 2017 at 3:19 PM UTC
She walks with me,
quietly alongside,
taking my hand when I'm scared,
and when I'm wild
giving me freedom to fly.
She holds my tears in her palm,
encourages me to stay strong,
lifts the darkness when I'm dreary
and fights my demons when I fall.
She's part angel,
part friend,
part mother,
part zen,
she is warrior,
inner peace,
she is love,
she is me.
Jun 6, 2017
Jun 6, 2017 at 1:24 PM UTC
I had no No in my vocabulary,
No veto power,
No nix, no nullity, no negation.
I was the King of Affirmation,
Yes to this, yes to that.
I thought No would cut me off from love,
Friendship, belonging.
I couldn’t say that word to anyone,
Not nobody not nohow.
I was the Wizard of Yes.
The Emperor of Agreement.
The Yes Man to the universe.
What was I?
A character in someone else’s play,
Puppeting my way through life,
Following a program I did not write.
I had to have a word that was my own,
A firm, strong, stubborn word,
To crash the program, buck the tide.
Now I’m ready to know No.
For No has that stopping power.
No is the Final Word.
No tells you in no uncertain terms,
What you really want.
This is me, it says.
These are my boundaries.
This is my true and real self.
I’m in love with No.
No, No, No, No, No, No.
I like the way I say it, and I know
That only by shouting my No
Can I say Yes to Me.
Jun 3, 2017
Jun 3, 2017 at 2:02 PM UTC
I'm not a princess, I don't need saving
It's only your love on my heart that needs engraving
I'm not a damsel in distress
Only your love can impress
There's no golden locks for you to climb
Only my heart that you must find
There's no dragon that needs slaying
Just your love is all I'm craving
There's no castle walls to scale
Only true love will prevail
I don't need your money or gold
I can't be bought or sold
I can stand on my own two feet
I'm not like most women that you meet
I'm one of a kind, I am unique
It's only your sweet love that I seek
Jan 24, 2016
Jan 24, 2016 at 8:52 AM UTC
Today I'm fresh
Today I am new
I am feeling around in the dark, but it's only my hands
It's only my voice that answers the queries
I knew something was wrong when I looked for your voice before my own
When I wanted your hands in case my clumsy pair failed
I was living my life through you
So, one set of hands and one voice ringing through the dark is the answer
And I answered
I am all I need
Jan 2, 2016
Jan 2, 2016 at 2:54 AM UTC