#scoliosis
if someone tells me that jealousy does not exist
on this earth
i will tell them to look deep
inside my heart
and see the jealousy that courses through my veins
i yearn for someone to talk to
even if it's just a random person anonymously on a random site
and i yearn for a cutesy little skype conversation
with a complete stranger
and i yearn for people to ask me to go places
instead of me asking them
and i yearn for them to remember me,
and i yearn for them to remember my name
and that it's leeza, not lyza
and that i have feelings, too
and i hate this back brace
and that i just want to laugh with them
and i don't want them to laugh at me
and i just worry so much
and i am jealous because they are concerned with
grades and boys, grades and girls
and i just try to fit in
because i am jealous.
Apr 9, 2014
Apr 9, 2014 at 9:42 PM UTC
I treated my skin like a goddess
Legs shaved, hands moisturized,
Any spot of acne scrubbed away and covered over with pale sheets
But I hid from my spine, like a snake always a few inches behind me, waiting to strike
This skin there was a poorly applied veneer,
Exaggerating the flaws it was meant to hide
The snake is in constant motion, waving an S up the core of my being,
Displaying my instability
It's curved, like the ridges of the Grand Canyon
Only more unnatural,
Un beautiful,
More like a line you tried to draw straight
Only when it wavered just a little too much, you threw it away and started over
I cannot start over
My snake drags venom along its body, instead of drooling it into a bite
And he is always biting,
So the skin on my back has never been touched
Never been pampered, or savored.
Jan 7, 2018
Jan 7, 2018 at 10:48 PM UTC
“scer- what now?” says another curious passerby yet again.
deep down inside, i resent the attention i gain.
for most peers of mine don't often know the pain.
“it’s scoliosis.” i retorted,
but in reply, they only snorted.
i cant believe they had the nerve,
to jeer at someone because of a mere curve.
it all happened that one faithful day,
after a p.e. lesson when we went into the water to play.
as everyone returned to change, i was left behind to stray.
“i hope nobody notices me”, i thought as i would pray.
to put it simply; it hadn't gone unnoticed,
i had begged for them to to tell, but that had not sufficed.
the cat was let out, it all felt like a heist.
my secret was robbed, when it supposedly ceased to exist.
i was ten back then, had no clue how to handle it.
life was tough, but i’m glad i never quit.
though my torso now has a slit,
i’m safe to say that i'm over with their ********
Sep 17, 2017
Sep 17, 2017 at 1:34 PM UTC
I once had a twisted spine,
But my curved back is now aligned.
With bolted screws and titanium rods,
I was lucky enough to beat the odds.
I went through not 1, but 2 surgeries.
At the best hospital in the world Children's Mercy.
I couldn't have imagined what I would have done,
If I didn't go to your hospital which I say is #1.
For what they do for kids like me,
Who have a curve of 44 degrees.
Thank you,
because my back wouldn't even have 1 *****
They told me your a survivor Ms. Zaiser.
I said I wouldn't have been if it wasn't for people like you doing things that most people wouldn't even do out of the blue.
Words can't describe how lucky am I
Even though the pain was so bad I had tears in my eyes as I cried.
Asking why can't I just say goodbye and die!
But on June 9th, 2013 is when my recovery was finally over,
I knew I would never again have uneven shoulders.
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 19, 2019 at 9:43 AM UTC