#saddened
I give so much love but never get enough back
it's hard to keep giving to lack knowing that
it is not reciprocated and my heartache is fated
behind the scenes, I could tell you were unfaithful
my mind perceives in extravagant hues to make up for this drowning blue
that I feel whenever my eyes close, clinging to my iPhone
wasting all my energy in the protection of my memory
all those sweet nothings that felt comforting and all those lies that caused me suffering
all I have is lined pieces of paper bonded by saddened words and tears
bubbling up pain from adolescent fears, I keep trying to keep you near
it's a cycle I am used to, used to abuse, used to misuse
used to needing you but I had a breakthrough
Jan 2, 2022
Jan 2, 2022 at 11:02 AM UTC
I can feel myself getting bad again, staying in bed constantly
Closing the curtains to leave my room almost completely dark
I feel the weight on my chest getting heavier
I stare at the messages I receive without replying
I simply don’t have the mental strength
I feel myself falling into that dark hole that I tried so hard to get out of
I need help
But I can’t see no one around
Just me, myself and I
And that’s not enough to last the night
Oct 9, 2021
Oct 9, 2021 at 11:19 PM UTC
Oh so family is supposed to always be there for you
Just not when sharing your feelings;it's not cool?
You can't confide in them with what you are dealing with
Got me feeling like a sith
That my feelings are too dark
Like I'm red kryptonite Clark
Leaving me to become real bitter
Like all the times i was verbally attacked by a "her"
I'm told to act my age
I'm only 30 I'm not a wise sage
Aug 8, 2021
Aug 8, 2021 at 11:33 PM UTC
I’ve seen such world,
A sight i would always cherish
Seeming end to life that begins,
And we leave with unfinished words
I haven’t flinch nor cried aloud
The blood and sweat of soul
Obligation Shall find unafraid
For we are tears in different shade
We have thoughts that hunt us
The mistakes with saddened memories
A discrete thought of failure and regret
Sleep settles it— when you were not to wake
The life i have lived to the stars
Thoughts can’t fathom into constellations
Beyond this place of grieving smiles
I have lived a life of no regrets
Apr 23, 2020
Apr 23, 2020 at 8:22 AM UTC
I climbed a mountain, I hoped to know,
Over rocks and ice and snow,
I asked the sun in morning glow,
Where do the broken hearted go?
The Sun just laughed and moved away,
To brighten up another day.
So I took the fast way down below,
To where the broken hearted go.
Dec 15, 2019
Dec 15, 2019 at 6:52 AM UTC
I went to a place,
I called it my home.
How was I supposed to know,
It would leave me all alone.
Depressed everyday,
They told me nothing.
The few good souls,
Would make it amazing.
The authority is ********
It didn’t even look at me.
Wanted to make money,
Didn’t want to help my sanity.
I begged them to change,
They turned a blind eye.
Left a depressed kid,
Sad and very lied.
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019 at 10:49 PM UTC
Darkness and light have become entangled in my mind.
Moments captured are quietly lost, nothing more than shadows that flirted with existence.
They were hope, then became a memory.....soon they will be gone.
My heart is to blame.
Under your brightness, it could not see that the shadows were being cast from one side.
It spoke out of turn.
Sep 22, 2019
Sep 22, 2019 at 4:17 PM UTC
Within my soul I am lost
Weak for a need to comfort me
When I can't feel your presence
Your energy distant & cold
Within my soul , I am lost
Searching for the desire
I desire to be desired
Sadly no desire do I find
When you go you take away
you shatter parts of me
cutting & left bleeding
all over my soul
Within me , I need to hear
I need you to speak to me
any way you can
Within me , I need to know
I just need to know
© Jennifer Delong 10/14/18
Oct 14, 2018
Oct 14, 2018 at 8:19 PM UTC
I know who you really are.
You did not do anything for me.
You're not getting any good Karma.
I hope she doesn't get hurt.
You brought me in, when I was at my worst,
And then decided to desert me.
I thought I had a home.
I thought I was safe.
You Lied.
I told you my story.
And you didn't care.
Because I wouldn't be your call girl.
I won't
Ruin your life.
I'll let Karma
Do that.
May 6, 2018
May 6, 2018 at 1:13 PM UTC
Alone
Silent, Solemn,
Breaking, Blinding, Barren
Wandering, Waning, Wondering, Wishing,
Battered, Broken, Bitter,
Suffocating, Sweltering,
Surrounded
Oct 7, 2017
Oct 7, 2017 at 2:27 AM UTC
If you fall, in love with me
You would surly regret
In the storm of my state
You would drown and forget
I live near the city of grief
Dwelling with my own sorrows
Why should I dream of...
What I would regret tomorrow
Why should you be in distress
For my world is abandoned
Your lifes journey should be easy
Tho, I'd be a bit saddened
What am I? But a broken soul
There'll come many in your way
To take you in their dreamlands
So why do you ask me everyday,
......if I love you?
©sim
Aug 13, 2017
Aug 13, 2017 at 3:37 AM UTC
Your bright smile would truly brighten up any man's saddened lonely old heart as I feel saddened I look at your bright smile and suddenly my heart smiles for the first time ever my saddened heart smiles its your true beauty who has made my heart smile no other beautiful bright could ever cheer up my saddened heart your smile has truly touched my saddened lonely heart.
Dec 6, 2016
Dec 6, 2016 at 10:27 AM UTC
You where saddened
In life I took
Your hands
And held you
Tightly
Kissed you passionately
Made you smile
From your saddened
Lonely heart
Held you close
And whisper into
Your ear
I truly love
Forever my dear.
Dec 6, 2016
Dec 6, 2016 at 8:28 AM UTC
27 YEARS
No spoken word
27 YEARS
No written note
You come at me, now
Saddened I wrote
27 YEARS
Not in a moment of time
27 YEARS
Not in my dream
You come at me, now
Alone do I scream
27 YEARS
Not a second goes by
27 YEARS
Not a minute to spare
You come at me, now
Your heart does not care
27 YEARS
Now do you cry
27 YEARS
Now do you wonder
You come at me, now
I sit alone and I ponder
27 YEARS
I don't know why
27 YEARS
I don't know the game
You come at me, now
Guilt or no shame
Dec 21, 2015
Dec 21, 2015 at 4:22 PM UTC
Why
When everything's okay
Why must you pull me back down
Why must you torture me with ugly thoughts
Why must you make me think about my past
About myself
About my future
Why won't you let me be normal
Everyone else looks so happy
Why won't you let me have that
Why must i suffer
Why
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 2:29 AM UTC
You lied to me
Gave me the illusion of happiness
Then you thought it would be funny to torture me
You laughed as i spiraled into a drowning pool
You found pleasure as our memories haunted me
I want you back
You've changed
You used to be so sweet
Come back to me
Make me feel alive again
Or were you always just a lie
Were you ever real
Was there ever a moment when you were truly mine
If that's so, do i even care
Would i rather you lie again just so i could have some moments of ignorant bliss
I think i would
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 2:20 AM UTC
Warped memory
Saddened days
Razor marks
Covered by sleeves
Hidden rope
Lies times three
Broken heart
needing a brand new start
But she knows it won't happen
Needing hope
Needing help
High on medication
She has the temptation
She wants to end it
Not lead it on
Her life's on the line
She's on the edge
I wonder what will happen if she shoots the lead
She's gone
She's dead
Her funeral was closed casket
We all just buried the basket
She wasnt spoken of again.....
Mar 22, 2014
Mar 22, 2014 at 1:12 AM UTC