#sabotage
knives plunge into me
but they don’t pierce flesh
my soul escaped from the wounds
in a desperate attempt
i grasp the saboteurs
cold grip
only to find it connected
to my shoulder
Dec 3, 2025
Dec 3, 2025 at 8:33 PM UTC
(TW: mentions of blood and knives but no sh)
Killer of peace
can’t touch me
but it poisons
EVERYTHING
around me
The knife that stabs
my loved ones
is held by me.
the one that crys
and attempts to console.
but a freezer
can’t warm a heart
The knife that stabs
my only escape
is held by me.
Help! Please help!
My only lifeline
has been ripped from my veins
if no one is to read the words
that contain my terror
then where will it go?
however I stand.
Useless.
drenched in the blood
of those surrounding
and my own
because the knife that stabs
is blinded
by the horrors it has seen
and caused.
Nov 8, 2025
Nov 8, 2025 at 10:07 PM UTC
The waves of crimson tides crash upon a porcelain shoreline
This isn’t the first time
This isn’t the first time
I cast my penance upwards
And it shatters at your feet
As the gavel strikes again and again
Mercy turns a blind eye…why?
The blood on my hands
The knife in my heart
Is the hidden blade behind my back
Still Dripping with the blood of my self destruction
A blood splattered oblation of all my fragile promises
A final sunset
Casts a shadow over the headstones of everything I’ve loved
Seeking escape from something I can’t even remember
Cyclical ritual surrender
This isn’t the first time
crimson waves crash again
Again and again
On fractured porcelain shores
Filled with all the broken pieces
Of the person I once was
And to no avail; perpetually, I fail
To put them back together
Never, forever
Again and again
For the last time
Jun 17, 2025
Jun 17, 2025 at 3:55 PM UTC
totality crushes
red and blue flames
char and boil in bursting streams
all throughout, circulating and
articulating me—
a billion units of decaying anatomy
that buckle and fragment
at every scene I sabotage
and blunder
him, pierce so violent
him, scream so quiet
all while drowning in hands
that touch with love
whenever I inquire,
and feed me handsomely
ruining my moment of drought
Jul 24, 2025
Jul 24, 2025 at 12:22 AM UTC
You wanted me quiet-
A flicker in the dark,
Something trilling
You wanted a spark
I was your secret,
Easier to keep alone
Because secrets rots,
When kept for too long
You wanted my all, my devotion
You paced around it, like a dare
Like a truth, not to be shared
You don't think I feel,
But it's all I felt
Yet I stayed silent,
I am my own personal hell
I self sabotage
Knowing you wouldn't care
I didn't not want you,
You just wanted-
What can never be fully touched
Never to be fixed,
And never undone.
Jul 5, 2025
Jul 5, 2025 at 4:44 PM UTC
how long can I keep up the facade?
hold my head above water,
paste a smile on
not feel the buzzing underneath my skin
Ten years later, there it is again
can you believe it?
back like it never left
Whether to protect or sabotage,
to be determined
A month in, and there she is
a bitter reflection, grenade in hand
ready to pull the pin
just when you think you're safe
Feb 24, 2025
Feb 24, 2025 at 7:38 PM UTC
Chin up Chuck; the girl broke your heart
you say “I don’t give a **** but she tore you apart.
You think you’ll figure it out, and that she just might stay
but after the words you shout, she knows she has to go away.
Something’s you can’t get loose
something’s just get stuck.
You’ll wonder if it was love or abuse
but chin up, Chuck.
Chin up Chuck, you’ve been left in the dark
lost all of your luck but hope for a spark.
You think you’ll find a route, get out of it all alive,
drag and pull boot by boot, praying you might survive.
Something’s you can’t just find
something’s just get stuck.
Are you in the dark or are you blind?
Still chin up, Chuck.
Chin up Chuck; the world gives you quarrel
you’ve drowned in the muck and let go of each moral.
You think you’ll be missed, maybe seen as a
martyr,
in truth you’d be ****** because you’re only seen as a **** starter.
Something’s won’t go right
something’s just get stuck,
but you don’t ever give up the fight
because you’re Chin up Chuck.
Feb 7, 2025
Feb 7, 2025 at 12:05 AM UTC
The fields of gold—
Looking grave
as past faces
caught up quickly,
smothering any presence
with smoldering reminders.
Alas, the echelons of memories
stood tall, like soldiers
steadfast, unwavering
to the imminent fall.
They remind him of his reflection,
belabored by reality’s labor.
Lines buried in sand,
etched onto his head—
burning coals of souls
that throttle his legs into motion.
He runs, and runs,
coerced to send the sun
his kinetic aspirations,
to deflect and reflect,
to dissolve prophecies beleaguered.
For it is he
who devises the Devil
of his own doing.
Oct 31, 2024
Oct 31, 2024 at 12:40 AM UTC
Half of me
has given up
and the other half
hasn’t even started yet
it’s always been like this
myself vs. myself
the battle of two stubborn selves
they take turn
in winning fights
I’m so confused and tired
to root for both
each time
It’s a twisted game.
I play myself.
Sep 1, 2024
Sep 1, 2024 at 5:45 AM UTC
I'm a demolitions expert of renown
Star of the show, the talk of the town
A destroyer of worlds they say
Or at the very least a destroyer of one
Voices rang inside my head
When things were good in my life
The urge to sabotage, the want to destroy
The desire to go off-course, the desire to stop
It has been there for as long as I can remember
Guiding me to the dark path
More often winning than being ignored
It was something I blamed for the way things are
But that was just me, my subconscious, my insecurity
Molding my decisions to be as suboptimal as possible
I need to accept, and got to learn accountability
Face the consequences, and fix the broken crucible
I want to destroy no more, for destruction is already here
Already suffering for the mess I have made
What I thought I deserved, I definitely do not
Now I have to make do with what little I have left
Let it stand as a lesson, let it stay as a warning
Beware when you light the fuse and watch the sparks
They may shine beautifully, but they are searing to the eyes
And if you do continue, give the big boom my regards
Jul 18, 2024
Jul 18, 2024 at 5:07 PM UTC
Like an experiment
What makes you this way?
Ask 'why' one more time but make it twelve
Repeat reaction
You'd move the box if you tripped over it as much as you do yourself, silly goose
Why do you need it?
You're not a vampire
Nor a Ferris wheel
Get it together
May 28, 2024
May 28, 2024 at 12:14 AM UTC
the best way to sabotage
success having unrealistic
expectations
Oct 13, 2023
Oct 13, 2023 at 9:31 PM UTC
keep the photographs
the city is overexposed again
take more walks in the nearby woods
the world we knew as children
watch out for frogs and detonators
mind the wires
new aerial boundaries at dawn
no one steps inside by choice
adapt to the proper order
and no sleeping under tables
the reflection tower is a good place to start
tourist trap, a certain approximate
bring the thing under the couch
in case of an unexpected visitor
more nightmares cut out of the newspaper
what is an Astra 600?
three different hat sizes
Hannie says yes to ménage à trois
the joy in discovery
the joy in forgetting
like God without a compass
not a lot, just forever
Jan 2, 2023
Jan 2, 2023 at 11:32 AM UTC
An unconscious self sabotage
The reprimanding echo
A bed of invisible nails
Without the smallest clue
What was this discomfort of?
Exhaustion, a cage without doors.
Menial tasks turned impossible
Stumbling around all dazed
Dressed to the ninth in neglect
I keep forgetting to live.
Dec 17, 2022
Dec 17, 2022 at 5:43 AM UTC
the most painless way to leave is
non-arrival.
self sabotage as absentia.
the only loss
lacking malice.
i did not want you to get close because
i did not want you to get too close.
i did not want you to take up space for me as i did not
want you to want the same from me.
im not sorry i didn’t want you
im sorry you did want me
self-sabotage as non-arrival.
self-sabotage as a convincing half-truth.
self-sabotage as a refuge.
self-sabotage as the lesson.
Sep 9, 2022
Sep 9, 2022 at 5:22 AM UTC
It's okay to lie down underneath your blank ceiling
Until twelve, one, two and counting...
Cutting your skin to pieces,
Eating your unfavorite chocolate Reese's,
Until your body fall into sleeping,
Mixing old dreams about running away
From a cult or an unknown creature
From someone you know or a foreign soldier.
It's okay to make mistakes as you run
It's okay, as they say, "You're only human. "
How you talk and swear too much through our thread
How you ignored and made every part of them bleed
How you call your every episode special
How your own mess and theirs wrestle
Until you open your eyes to see the same ceiling,
Still blank but with a hint of late morning blaze.
Time to repeat the same heat without healing
I apologize to you, one from the doorcrack who gazed.
Jun 1, 2022
Jun 1, 2022 at 2:24 PM UTC
In the red dusk of the desert with folded umbrella,
I am waiting in the ruins for you.
Touch me with your eyes for my arms aren't enough to hold you,
Breathe life into the shadows of my eyes.
This flutter of my heartbeat is the sign of the approaching storm,
Tearing apart my hopes has always been my favorite tune.
Maybe this traitorous moon was at fault,
cause the fireflies aren't enough to lighten up my world.
May 12, 2022
May 12, 2022 at 1:52 PM UTC
i can't ignore, the way it makes me feel
the cut of a thousand stars
soaring, fragmenting
falling into tiny pieces
i left you
wanting more
but all that remains
is a casket of ruins
for a forgotten love
when everything is easy
i'll stand in my own way
like a villain in my own story
the harshness of me
burning against the softness of you
this fleeting feeling
is so temporary
alone at last
but it is not
where i want to be.
Jan 18, 2022
Jan 18, 2022 at 10:56 AM UTC
I'm so glad you never knew me then,
When I wrote out my pain
With more than my pen.
Bravado and brandy,
Always going dancing.
It was fun until it wasn't.
I was fun until I wasn't.
I was young until I wasn't.
I'm trying to de-age,
Find some youth,
Grasp some juvenile joviality,
Iron out the wrinkles despair and desperation
Have etched into my face.
I wonder if I met you then,
Would we have ended in the same place?
I was sprinting in a marathon of my own design.
I know you could have kept pace
But would we have had the time?
You say you would have died
And that means I'm meant for you.
But are you sure that loving me,
Even in the Now,
Isn't killing you too?
Jan 8, 2022
Jan 8, 2022 at 4:19 PM UTC
Glass dome full Of sticks,
stones grown in a broken home.
Windows; mirrors cracked
Nov 10, 2022
Nov 10, 2022 at 10:21 AM UTC
Glass dome full Of sticks,
stones grown in a broken home.
Windows; mirrors cracked
Oct 25, 2021
Oct 25, 2021 at 8:43 AM UTC
sometimes she does not recognise herself
she is not the same person from five years ago
back then, things like innocence were real
infedility was something other women practiced frequenty
other women
disloyal women
not her though
she feels tainted, stained
irrevocably ashamed
marked with a poisionous cheater's kiss
she wants to go back to wedded bliss
she is desperately looking for some way to fix it
to find some sort of reprieve
she stares into the ***** mirror
hearing the whisper of her old friend, Fear
telling her of the art of sabotage
an art she wishes she'd never mastered
what can I say?
vows were made to be obeyed
when she broke those sacred promises
her soul shattered just the same
so when she looks into that mirror
her reflection is a stranger
she wants to be anyone else
not this unfaithful mess of a shell
so she smashes that glass into tiny shards
it's time to move on
time to make a new start
Jul 5, 2021
Jul 5, 2021 at 1:01 AM UTC