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melwriteswhat
F/NYC
would it be easier for you not to see me at all would you like to forget me even if not for the sake of moving on just to make it easier is it hard to have known me, loved me and for everything to be different now? yes
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Feb 24, 2025
Feb 24, 2025 at 8:39 PM UTC
forget me not
I would rather be your friend, I think Than nothing at all but perhaps ceasing to exist to one another is better
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Feb 24, 2025
Feb 24, 2025 at 8:34 PM UTC
friend
I much prefer the sadness. though overwhelming, choking it is rooted in love, in remembering in the loss of something real, tangible, beautiful. The anger is much worse, wicked a fabricator of the truth: that it didn't matter to you and maybe never did. I'll take salt water filling my lungs burning, flailing, gasping for air if it meant never forgetting you
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Feb 24, 2025
Feb 24, 2025 at 8:28 PM UTC
salt water
I am trying to stop looking for you signs or silence, there's nothing to decipher no run-ins or coincidence I don't even know if it'd satisfy a glimpse of a life that still holds out hope for me, for us because for all I know that doesn't exist anymore
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Feb 24, 2025
Feb 24, 2025 at 7:58 PM UTC
signs or silence
all I know how to do is love my bones ache to care and I'm not sorry for trying even if you didn't deserve it I deserve the chance
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Feb 24, 2025
Feb 24, 2025 at 7:52 PM UTC
the possibility
I can't help but look at you that way "what?" you'll ask, puzzled, teasing "you're going to ruin my life," I say and your brow furrows, but you smile "I think you make life pretty great, and who says that has to end?" and my lips creep into a smile because I'm not afraid, despite it all even knowing how far the drop would be
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Feb 24, 2025
Feb 24, 2025 at 7:52 PM UTC
Forward To The ****
I can't quite place my rage if you can even call it that angry at your optimism in us, in what you were capable of angry with myself for letting you in angry that I tried, again only for it to end the same way
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Feb 24, 2025
Feb 24, 2025 at 7:48 PM UTC
anger, perhaps misplaced
mare tranquillitatis sea of tranquility our place of security, of calm Blue Moon, Moon River across the hall feels 238,900 miles away
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Feb 24, 2025
Feb 24, 2025 at 7:48 PM UTC
blue moon, river
I suppose it doesn't feel so bad after all this is exactly what I always expect a pattern repeated, regardless of the reason it's almost a relief, almost comfort in the known, the expected not a new home just a road trip stop pulling into a familiar driveway even if all the lights are off
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Feb 24, 2025
Feb 24, 2025 at 7:47 PM UTC
pulling into the driveway
I'm less upset, I think than I thought I'd be I've built a beautiful life for myself Great friends and a job I love I am brimming with love and nothing can take that away not even you
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Feb 24, 2025
Feb 24, 2025 at 7:46 PM UTC
not wilted