#runon
woke up, said good morning
hope one day i’ll actually mean it
do i look as empty as i feel?
i’ve been thinking about you
i like the idea of you thinking about me
what i’m doing is unhealthy and awful and yet i keep doing it
i’d rather argue with you than be with someone else
i didn't mean to hurt you
but i'll do it again
wish i could tell you what you mean to me
wish you’d believe me if i did
i love you but i’m not what you want/need
did my love for you make you feel anything?
did i at least make you feel something?
may you find the peace you seek
will i be homesick forever?
i hope you know i meant every word of it
all this love will **** me but i don’t think i mind
take my hand, take my whole life too
it’s not only a bad day
people come and go
their loss
these tears will come and go
you couldn’t do anything to me
i wouldn’t do to myself
you’re ruining everything
you killed me with that final kiss goodbye
i never stopped loving you
i hope you’re well
Sep 7, 2018
Sep 7, 2018 at 9:31 AM UTC
Confusion's forsaken my thoughts to the long-lost brothers of insecurity.
Forcibly taken and tossed aside to hide within the lies of insincerity.
Kindred servant's lullabies:
Forgotten songs of yesterday,
Soothe me into waking nightmare.
Lead-shoed memories float upon seas made of stone,
Buried shallower than a grass-fed grave.
Anxious tensor userp my synapse's happiness...
Clutching my eversweet peace like a spoil'd child.
Hidden from view,
but most certainly there.
Dare me to escape the frozen steel I call home.
Wrought Irony,
Dragging my prison beneath my feat...
Misspelling's intentional because my feat?
Dragging my feet.
Asleep at the wheel,
my heart is steel.
Awoken stone cries gravel tears,
bruising my feet as I walk,
Talking as if the sensation is anything less than profoundly real.
Tangency is my thought process,
Clever distractions from the harbor'd fears:
just look the other way.
Case in point:
Confusion's forsaken my tears,
as my fears fade away,
if only to return another page.
Oct 29, 2019
Oct 29, 2019 at 7:06 PM UTC
in a red dress i kissed him
yes, on the lips i touched mine to his
and oh god did sparks fly
and oh god did those embers fall to our
feet and
start a fire that will not
can not die and
my scarlet dress still smells like smoke,
his residual fingers still touching me all over
and he is, and forever will be
my everything,
my North, South, East, and West,
my ocean and my stars and
every grain of sand on the beach
and never will i ever
ever
let him go.
Jun 12, 2018
Jun 12, 2018 at 4:40 PM UTC
were we dumb or were we clever
when we said we'd be together
did we really think that we
would end up where
we are
going to have a great adventure
it's just you and me together
so let's go have fun forever,
go exploring and endeavor
things like love.
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 1:51 AM UTC
I've never been quite taken to the idea, the concept, of religion but I've always been fascinated by worshippers and their gods
Deities deified and dyed with the colors and patterns that they don't quite find as their own but their them is not theirs or through their own thoughts and how their image is cast how they've found they've been wrought
Who's the god
God's god
a mob
Jun 12, 2017
Jun 12, 2017 at 5:04 PM UTC
*I need coffee
Before this coldness leaves my feet
Or the snowflakes fall any freer onto the city streets
I need such coffee inside of me
Because without it’s joy and prolonged warmth
I cannot be alive and well
Let alone this representation of me
So do not question before I wake
Just pour the coffee for goodness sake
And if I must make it myself
I will with a vengeance, a sleep induced will
Though once I’m awake I’ll wonder still
What dependency is this which I’ve built
The need to mix my water mixed with beans
Perhaps not the coffee, but it is the caffeine
Which gets me out and wakes me up
So that I might not feel asleep
As I am driving these winter roads
Saying dearest coffee would you please
Wake me so that I can feel at ease*
Mar 10, 2017
Mar 10, 2017 at 10:52 AM UTC
sometimes i do not know where my life is heading,
where the roads are leading me.
i know my mind travels through space and time,
through shining galaxies of wonder and ripping black holes,
meeting at the ends of the earth with a crashing wave.
but i do not know whether there is a lighthouse nearby,
whose light shines me a way out of the dark,
pointing to a place where i can rest my aching bones.
i do not know which colour my soul is yet,
still picking away at the palettes that change every day.
sometimes i do not know whether to laugh or cry,
and why sometimes it is best to do both.
sometimes i feels stuck, like a box has caved in on my surroundings,
metal, not cardboard, so even the mightiest of pokes can't break its surface.
sometimes i feel time draining away from me,
slipping through even the tightest of grasps of my fingers,
disappearing like an air of smoke in a misty lake,
and i cannot swim fast or hard enough to catch it.
and sometimes i feel like i am wasting my life,
and the smiles, real and pure, of everyone i meet, determine one thing:
they are using their time wisely, happily.
thoughts of storms do not linger in their brain long enough to shatter the roof and let raindrops pour down their eyes.
and i don't know whether to feel jealous or sad,
or cast feelings away altogether until i am nothing but a shell.
but most of the time, i do know for sure,
i am just always unsure on how to feel.
Nov 18, 2016
Nov 18, 2016 at 6:53 AM UTC
I put on that perfume
I stopped wearing months ago,
that you used to tell me
smelled so good,
in hopes that maybe
the cold, winter wind
might blow the scent across the river,
as it dries out my skin
and helps the tears fall
that I've been suppressing for days
in order to convince myself
I do not need you here
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 8:08 PM UTC