#runningaway
The cars whip by me,
a sea of red and orange.
I think I can feel you,
our minds intertwining.
We can live forever on this road,
no chains to bind us.
Nov 26, 2025
Nov 26, 2025 at 3:29 AM UTC
The men chuckle lightly, almost insinuating a secret.
Their eyes dart one to another, and I know this at least:
the men are horrible at keeping secrets.
“Why do you all chuckle?” I ask with complete and utter resolve.
Again, all their eyes darted to one another.
They dart back mainly at the Captain.
So I darted my eyes to see this secret message.
His eyes are dark, moody, all seriousness.
The message is unclear to me, yet instant for them.
Wind starts to pick up. The dry air swirls for mere seconds, dissolving into a broiling heat, contained in this valley.
High hills, and dry stretches bake us into a frenzy.
The men start to holler and yelp, as they do.
They all run to the pond. It is a very large pond.
There is another larger one behind the Barn as well.
These ponds were fashioned out of the earth by years of the non evolving men who claim stakes to this land.
Sep 21, 2025
Sep 21, 2025 at 4:37 PM UTC
Some times its moments like these
that actually convince me that I should stay
listening to a new album
way passed when I should have shut my eyes
listening to you on call with her
and laughing so hard because of me and the other's shared looks
that I feel sore when I wake up
walking to a spot that I considered forgotten
that I considered my own
and sharing it with you
you see,
taking flight has always appealed to me
especially when the only one who knew my pain
just rubbed salt in the wound
cut off my arm
and took it as a souvenir
Now I can't bear taking flight
because that would mean leaving you behind
one of the only ones who understood me
Yes, you were one of the only ones who understood me
You, the luck up my sleeve
and if I ever decide to leave
you are the one whom gave me pause
I will feel the greatest sorrow when I leave you behind
It is moments like these,
laying on a rug listening to what I will be listening to
for months and mounths
and thinking about you
and not just that
for my mind is a monster
and when you saw
you accepted it
Sitting on a cold couch
talking of others doomed romance
was one of the best things you could give me
for I could finally be the true me
The shared looks that we give each other
when it makes people mad
Oh, those looks
those looks that I will never want to miss
never want to forget
And oh how I wish to hold your hand
oh how I wish to cradle you in my arms
but all I have is your eyes to cradle
and your words are all I can hold
you mean more to me than you could ever know
and those little stolen moments that we make ours
Yes, you were the one I could at last love
the one who finally accepted my mind
Yes, you are my love
and You, the luck up my sleeve
and if I ever decide to leave
you are the one whom gave me pause
I will feel the greatest sorrow when I leave you behind
Its moment like these
when the music fills my mind
when it flows through my head to my feet
and all I can feel is that place
when I want to stay the most
It is moments like these
when I listen to the analytical words of another
and sit by my friends side
Its moments like this
when I am tightly warped in an embrace
on the top of a mountain with a cross
feeling the true love of God for the first time
Its moments like these
when I miss you all so badly
that I can hardly breath
but I know I will see you again tomorrow
Its all of these moments
When I finally see my friends who have become family after a period of absence
When I can lay in a bed and rest when I truly feel weary
When I cry and I cry
because in the end, I know I will have to leave it all
My friends who are now my family
The tree that has now become familiar
The radio with its iconic voices
The lemonade with its iconic tastes
The music with its wonderful sounds
The park with its heart wrenching sunsets
The house with my friends as family rooms
Those things all give me pause
because in the end
leaving will happen
whether I want to go
or not
but I hope that you know
out of all of those things
out of all of those beautiful, tragic, wonderful, aw striking things
you are truly the ones who I will miss
I love you all,
I love you all more deeply than you could ever know
Aug 18, 2025
Aug 18, 2025 at 9:50 PM UTC
The light September breeze,
reminds me of who I used to be,
A girl without so much worry,
A girl who wasn't judged for,
being who she was.
She left home,
And she had never felt so alone.
So she walked,
sometimes she rode with strangers,
Who seemed to really understand when she talked.
I just wanted to go North,
and see the snow.
But I wasn't doing much good,
cause my wits were starting to go,
And I hoped.
She hoped for an end,
Among the strange, beautiful places,
just around the bend.
And she found some,
In trespassing and chases.
Which is why I ended here,
in a dry town.
No whisky or beer.
Wearing a pale blue,
hospital gown.
Oct 21, 2020
Oct 21, 2020 at 8:25 PM UTC
gasp
heave
pant
the ringing in my ears
the lump beating in my throat
the sound of my heartbeat caught in a flame
that burns bright and angry
in my lungs
as i taste iron on my tongue
and blisters bloom
on the soles of my feet
like flowers in a summer's field
and yet the stench of sweat
the cling of cloth against my skin
raw and pink and thick with grime
but i'm running out of time
i won't ever stop to breathe.
Oct 9, 2020
Oct 9, 2020 at 1:14 PM UTC
i think i've lost the feeling in my fingertips
and the words that
graze my lips
slip
and dissipate
into meaningless thoughts
onto a page
it's the banging against my window panes
the clang and drip of rain
it's the constant reminder of the sun
that 'yes, i live'
'yes, i am here'
'yes, i will stay'
'for as long as you will let me'
it's like listening to the sound of crashing waves
against the shore
as i dip my toes
in the moonlight
but
there is that fear
of the unknown
the slippery tongues of the abyss
that lap and lick against my heels
the tremble of my lip
the shudder down my spine
as it snakes around my legs
it's the longingness to runaway
and disappear
to leave without a trace
no new names, no fake identities
not a smidge of existence
no footprints left behind.
Oct 4, 2020
Oct 4, 2020 at 11:28 AM UTC
𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒
𝒶 𝓂𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓎
𝓈𝒽𝒶𝒹𝑜𝓌𝓈 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓏𝑒𝓃
𝓅𝒶𝓁𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒸𝓇𝓊𝑒𝓁
𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒻𝓁𝑒𝑒
May 3, 2020
May 3, 2020 at 11:04 PM UTC
As he sinks down,
Down into the soil
he recalls everything.
Remembers what it was like
to taste the sky, and run
through fields of flowers
and he wonders if the man
whose hand he holds
is worth losing everything.
He thinks of the kitchen table,
and of the note he left for Mother:
"Going now. Back by spring."
He locks the door,
puts the last bag in the trunk,
and as he gets into the car
he looks back once
before turning away from
the sun.
Jan 20, 2020
Jan 20, 2020 at 8:06 PM UTC
Afraid of her waves,
I steer into the trees,
fashion my nest
From the oars and leaves.
Teach oldies to the birds,
mice, the harmonies,
squander afternoons
waiting for the breeze.
Afraid of her waves,
I fly toward the heavens
to roam with pilgrims
crying rivers and oceans.
I listen to their stories
of ruin and misfortune.
And discover boats can be
both frightened and broken.
Afraid of her waves,
I crash into the moon,
bug the man inside,
a bit of a recluse,
with questions rounding
How the ocean moves.
He bellies of an ache,
But I know it's just a bruise.
Afraid of her waves,
I spin off seven rings
slingshot out this galaxy
on black and speckled wings,
tumble through a universe
where no and everything
look so eerily the same
that my boat begins to sink.
Afraid of her waves,
I row anywhere else
until walls crumble down
until oars row themselves.
When I scale her summits,
gobbled by her swell,
I peek over my shoulder
where the sea, she's ever still.
Oct 30, 2019
Oct 30, 2019 at 1:44 PM UTC
I'm so tired of being anxious,
of self-disparaging and being
just-okay-but-not-really-okay
all the **** time.
I just wanna forget being damaged
for once,
and run and run
and crash somewhere better
and breathe again,
and feel again,
and live again.
Please.
Sep 11, 2019
Sep 11, 2019 at 12:10 AM UTC
Run away you,
away from desolation,
away from these blinding city lights,
away from this dense hard-to-carry burden
away from society and its atrocious ways.
Into tomorrow,
start over, turn over a new leaf,
a brand new you, because better days await
and never contemplate over what could have been.
A.A
Aug 31, 2019
Aug 31, 2019 at 10:31 AM UTC
The feeling,
The emptiness,
The feeling of emptiness.
My heart aches for some feelings.
It is so sick of the void.
I hurt the people I love,
to get a reaction from them.
Anger, hatred or pain,
So that I can get some of those too.
Sitting below the fiery a hot shower,
to feel the buns on my soft skin,
To get the warmth from the water and steam,
Which I don't get from the people anymore.
Walking on the street,
In tees, jeans and flip flops, when
It's snowing outside,
To feel the cold and chills through my bones.
To feel the sadness in the surrounding,
to feel something.
To know I am NOT dead.
Drinking my Guts down.
Telling people I love them.
Can't do that with my normal persona,
Missing people publicly.
Cry for them,
But then why I don't feel blissful,
even with them around.
Running behind my dreams, where I feel.
I feel it all -
Pain, smile, sorrow, and joy.
Not the blank.
Not to be the emotionless stone, I have become.
Sitting in my room alone,
Hoping to go out and meet some people,
Like or not like me.
In a party - with the glass in my hand.
Glass full up to the brim,
Trying to keep up with the fake grin.
In my mind, already killing myself and these people,
Millions of times.
Exploding and pacifying myself the millionth time,
In the past 2 hours
Is this normal?
To wish for death, when
life is perfect, everything is good.
You wanted to be here.
Now that you are,
Where are you planning to run away next?
Convincing myself,
No, that other place will be better.
You will be happier.
When you know you won't be,
Any more on this earth.
It's all the same.
It's not the same anymore.
Darling you have been blessed with melancholy.
It's a part of you.
How could you ever run away,
from something which is inside you.
Not in your body but in your soul.
You can try, always try.
Till the time you are tired of trying.
And then you cry and cry and cry some more, you can accept it, cry Cry it out, my love.
And now?
Now embrace it.
Like you would embrace-
The gift of Beauty, you always wanted.
When you always knew that-
Beauty comes with a price.
Now that you have embraced it.
You know it's you.
You don't try to pretend anymore.
No more fake laughs, pretentious smiles.
I am sad,
But I am content with my sadness.
The void, I was always trying to get rid of.
It was filled with sadness.
No, it doesn't ache for anything anymore.
I can be calm with:
The fiery exploding thoughts.
I am peaceful with the war in my mind.
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 5:11 PM UTC
I’m leaving Neverland,
and you don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to,
but I’m gone,
I know it kinda feels great to stay in a superficially carnal way,
but if I stay I will die,
and I’ll be giving away the precious gift,
of the only thing I actually have,
my life,
because it’s not too late but will be if I wait,
to make all these wrongs right,
and it’s not too late but will be if I wait,
to **** my past and start a new life,
I can’t stay,
and I can no longer deny,
that my Hometown of Hollywood has been corrupted,
they even made the most innocent moments feel tainted,
maybe that’s why I can’t play with a little boy,
without feeling like I’m doing something wrong,
and I haven’t sexually abused a single child in my entire adult life,
so why should I feel confused by what’s going on,
and we all know what’s going on,
we all know They are attracted to the Young and Innocent,
because in the twisted logic of their perverted minds,
they think maybe by being with children they’ll stay Forever Young,
it’s disgusting,
and I’m so ashamed of the city I’m from,
that I’m not even having kids,
because I feel bad for every daughter and son,
and I still love Michael Jackson,
I mean I own a self-portrait painted by him,
it hangs in my hallway I pass it everyday,
as I search for a way to find some separation,
between art and artist,
between who God created,
and what that who God created,
creates from that creation,
trying to make peace with,
the fact that every gifted artist seems to be so twisted,
makes me suspicious,
of every celebrity I know and all their addictions,
because it’s different,
depending what what their addiction is,
I mean a bit of blow is one thing,
but a kids ******** goes beyond addition & becomes a sickness,
and we may never know every secret untold that goes on without witness,
and honestly at this point I don’t even care,
I just want to get the heck outta here,
you know what I mean Billy Jean,
the kid’s not mine but I’m still talking to the Man in The Mirror,
so it’s time to Beat It,
make my escape like a Smooth Criminal,
because I realize now that all those messages,
were more than just subliminal,
and I don’t like The Way You Make Me Feel anymore,
I’m not going to wait ‘Till You Get Enough,
I’m going to find a place where I actually feel appreciated,
because I finally realize that back in Hollywood They Don’t Care About us,
so I’m leaving Neverland,
and you don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to,
but I’m gone,
I know it kinda feels great to stay in a superficially carnal way,
but if I stay I will die,
and I’ll be giving away the precious gift,
of the only thing I actually have,
my life…
∆ LaLux ∆
Hollywood
2019
Mar 7, 2019
Mar 7, 2019 at 4:07 PM UTC
How am I supposed to stand on my feet, when all they want to do is run away?
Nov 1, 2018
Nov 1, 2018 at 1:26 AM UTC
The crunching sound of glass under the sole of my shoe.
The gentle bend as the metal frames twisted unrecognisably.
Fragments littering the cement around me.
For what purpose did I need them.
Walking away.
Dread and edrenaline mix together.
Jumping at my own shadow.
Yet no longer having to look at the world.
No longer having to see it.
But still stuck inside it.
Standing behind the retina.
Behind the same distorted lenses.
Shame.
Longing.
Blind.
Lost.
May 18, 2018
May 18, 2018 at 9:40 AM UTC
The doors are open,
The windows are open,
And yet, I cannot escape.
May 7, 2018
May 7, 2018 at 11:02 AM UTC
*This world has nothing left for me
I want to leave it behind
Take the people I love somewhere else
Take them to a non war torn planet
Take them somewhere we can be ourselves
A judgement free area
No restrictions on what we could say
Limitless possibilities
I want to leave earth and go somewhere else*
Jan 13, 2016
Jan 13, 2016 at 12:43 PM UTC
When I was troubled, where were you?
I was falling...without you.
You said I could run to you,
but I had to run from you.
When that bridge fell,
The dust clouded my vision.
I couldn’t find my way,
So I grabbed what I could,
And sprinted.
I jumped at my first chance of escape.
When I found my way,
I came back
How could you push me again?
I thought I could trust you.
You sent me to a place,
Where you cannot see the sun.
They watch you.
They stalk you.
They try to solve you.
When I was released from the claws of that beast,
I didn’t come back.
You waited
And waited
You were angered when that seat got cold.
Life as you know it was gone.
Dead.
Destroyed.
You came at me,
Talons outstretched.
You attacked in every way possible.
Ripping the very things binding me to this life.
You laughed as The largest piece of me fell,
Into the black noiseless oblivion.
You expect me to come back,
Crawling on my knees,
Begging you to take me back.
I won’t.
For, I have learned:
Never come back.
Nov 3, 2015
Nov 3, 2015 at 8:02 PM UTC
You were smiling
desperate attempt
to beguile the teacher
into letting you attend
Unfortunately
she raised her hand
(to close the door perhaps)
and you flinched away
violently.
Then
You leave them
to their misconceptions
and remember
how that hand
had looked reptilian
in the corner of your eye.
Apr 23, 2015
Apr 23, 2015 at 2:13 PM UTC
They all seem so disposable
It hasn't always been like this
I once was the disposable one
The one that didn't matter
The one trying to keep her composure
I used to care to much
And now I care so little
I used to get head over my heels so easily
But the words coming out of their mouths weren't real
And I learned not to be the foolish girl
The one standing there looking like an idiot
So instead I leave before they can
Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out
Running away like this
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015 at 1:52 AM UTC
She starts gathering up her things.
She's getting ready for her trip.
No one aware.
No one who cares.
Her pillow is harder,
Her pill bottles full,
Her bag is waiting,
And now she's ready to leave.
Not yet.
Not ready.
Not alone.
Fighting with herself, or rather her friends.
The one's who are her voice.
THE voice's.
Trying to plan on still.
For they have yet to begin getting ready.
Not smart.
Not scared.
Not brave.
They've made up their minds.
They've packed their bag's.
They're ready to go.
Her knife, her friends, her sanity.
Is ready.
Apr 17, 2015
Apr 17, 2015 at 1:07 AM UTC
Not suicidally
Or accidentally
But in the sense
Of noteriety
I dont want
Anyone knowing me
Or the awful human
I used to be
I want to start fresh
Do good for the world
Start charitable organizations
And be the angels herald
Even my own father
Calls me devlish now
So maybe its time
To five a final bow
Ill exit the stage
And sink from sinful fame
Ill do what i want
With no title or name
And how freeing itll be
To not look after you
To not reassure
Every ****** thing you do
And i wont tell a lie
Not even for my own good
And if you think me cold hearted
You clearly misunderstood
I wont pity petty people
I wont try and hold your hand
When all you want to do
Is fight the quick sand
Youre sinking faster
Than i can keep up
So im done going down
With a ship thats far sunk
So yes i want to die
Im exhausted from this
Life is miserable
When your boots are all i kiss
So im starting over fresh
Born again as a fresh new babe
And i hope this world is kinder
Than when i was first made
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014 at 11:04 PM UTC