#remembrances
Sometimes lying in my bed I close my eyes and imagine myself back there again
Back in my old childhood room, in my old childhood bed
I can see the green nightlight shining on the wall
See the dark outlines of the wardrobe and the dressing table
The moonlight coming in through the window
From the street below I hear a lone car passing
You can hear it coming, then arriving, then gradually fading away into the distance
Then the silence returns
I lie there in the quiet
Then suddenly…suddenly I find myself…I find myself rising
Like out of my body, rising up toward the ceiling
I can look back down and see my physical body still lying there on the bed
Then I turn and I fly right out the window
Suddenly I’m outside and I’m free
It’s dark now, a world devoid of colours, a world transformed, a World of shadows
With the big moon shining over the bay
The flowers in the front, their petals closed…drooping
Their all sleeping now, grown colourless in the pale moonlight
I fly over the shrubs and the flowers, fly over the wall and the front gate
The coast road it is so quiet now, not a sound of a car
Or sight of any soul out walking
It’s late…
So ghostly in the quiet, the outline of the other houses along the street
Just like faces sleeping
I fly over the road and over the sea wall, down the steps to the beach
All the sand and the little shells and stones
And the big rocks just standing there so still and so quiet
Almost like their watching me or waiting on me
As if…as if questioning
I look over at the big mountains of the headland in the far distance sloping down toward the sea
Their great big dark outlines dotted with little lights from all the isolated farms and villages
And there at the very end, the lighthouse, it’s red light winking back at me at intervals
All under a beautiful star laden sky
It’s wonderful, magical looking ! It reminds me of Christmas…the lights at Christmastime.
I fly over the big rocks and the rock pools
Wow! Look now, the sea! The tide!! The tide is coming in
Like a huge…great army moving stealthily under cover of darkness
Stretching the whole way as far as you can see
Inching its way along, the water filling the little grooves in the sand
Wow! Just looking at it, watching it, it’s awesome! It’s mesmerising!!
Soon it’ll be joining the rock pools
It’ll be like an army pouring into a city
The water level will rise slowly
And all the sea creatures will start to come out, the ***** the eels and the fish
It’ll all come alive.
So I fly over the silent standing rocks and the strand and the tide that’s coming in heading up toward the village
I pass an open stretch of beach with hardly any rocks
This is where the young families would come
The mothers with their little children to swim and play
But it’s so quiet now…so quiet and desolate…lonely looking
Now the children have all gone
Now there’s only the memory…the echo
Yea! Now there’s only the sound of the ghost children playing, splashing about
Their excited voices still ringing in the air…somewhere
Once as a child I walked these same beaches
I knew every rock
But strangely I can hardly remember myself now
That child I once was
I feel somehow that he left me…left me a long time ago
Old friend we knew each other once, why has your memory faded away from me
Have I changed so much
Do you not know me now or trust me
Am I too scary for you to look at or talk to
Have I sided too much with this world, a world that once used scare and pain you so
You and I, we have wandered far from our old toys
Were forced to play more different grown up games
Had to adopt many guises, wear many different masks
All those things I had to do and those different people I had to become
Just to survive here
Yea! This world it blew us onto many a strange shore,
And now, returning…like an old man from the sea
Weathered and half broken, still with little of any worth to show
Tell me…tell me you haven’t left me…left us
That you haven't abandoned us
Take us with you, we’d rather go with you than stay in this…this empty place
With you there was always wonder, there was always magic…every day
It was always more fun when you were around
…we miss you, where did you go Old Friend ?
I fly on, there’s the old swimming pool
All quiet now, hushed, silent, not a sound
So ghostly, no laughter, no splashing about, no shouts of delight
The night how it offers a contrast to the day
This ghostly world of stillness and of quiet
Of shadows and memories and lost things
And I like a ghost just wandering here
The daylight world remembered from afar as the dead might remember the living.
I fly on over the swimming pool
Now I see the village itself, the street lights and the lights from the pubs still open
A few people out walking along the seafront
Husbands and wives perhaps…young lovers
Y’know I can remember this beach thronged with sunbathers in the summertime
All the colour and the noises
I can…I can remember the wild days, the stormy seas lashing the shore
Remember the high winds buffeting the house at night
I can remember the high tides when the sea would come right up to the steps
Would swamp all the big rocks
All you could see was this huge massive blanket of just blue sea everywhere
And in the Winter time I can remember the snow on the rocks
The snow over everything, so white and clean and fresh, all fresh in the frosty air
And I remember the tranquil Summer evenings, the waves gently lapping up against the shore
Lulling you off to some sweet dream...or dreams faraway.
When I was young I didn’t know what this world was and why I was here
And now, I still don’t know, I’m none the wiser
But wherever I go, I know there’ll always be the sea…
It’s a part of me…these memories, these things I’ve seen
Wherever I find myself, in the heart of a grey city or out in the green countryside
There’ll always be that…that seaside village
Yea! There’ll always be the sea.
I grew up in a seaside village…a seaside village
One time long ago.
Jun 13, 2024
Jun 13, 2024 at 6:56 PM UTC
The stars are beautiful,
And I miss your light...
I am drowning in silence,
Beaten down senseless;
Spirit and soul waning,
Shrouded in brokenness...
As I lay shattered,
The light you brought has scattered;
Like escaped breaths
Lost in the shadows of regret.
I want to move again,
To feel again,
To sing again;
Joyful, with a beating heart.
From a time flown past,
That is now ashen,
Pale and bloodless,
Shards poking a forgotten ghost...
Another year has passed,
I am a shadow of a dream,
Treading alone on a darkening path,
As time walks across the sky...
The stars are shining brightly
But I still miss your light...
Jul 26, 2021
Jul 26, 2021 at 2:53 PM UTC
Why remember? Why celebrate?
The past, told by the victorious,
To the living, mere instruments.
Unknowable and unknown,
Ceremonialised and celebrated,
Of the dead's glorious renown,
If expedient, memorials mandated and revised.
Tomorrow you may uncover and reveal
My history was wrong, but who knows really,
For your discovery, or concealment,
is shaped to fit your purposes, as it is for me, today.
Apr 2, 2019
Apr 2, 2019 at 2:00 AM UTC
I was always the first one;
the first one to approach,
the first one to communicate,
the first one to understand,
the first one to appreciate,
the first one to apologize,
the first one to fix things up,
the first one to listen,
the first one to open up,
the first one to do something,
the first one to consider,
the first one to worry,
the first one to surrender,
the first one to care,
the first one to forgive,
the first one to value,
the first one to believe,
the first one to fight,
the first one to trust,
the first one to hold on,
the first one to fall in love,
and you were the first one who gave up...
the first one who let go.
If ever you forgot,
I want to let you know.
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 24, 2018 at 2:42 AM UTC
Like an amoeba out of her element
I was
But I had never felt so content
And I fell in love, yeah it is true
But what else could I do?
And I fell in love, fell for you
But what was I going to do?
The dark alleys
where love grows
A lonely Barceló (street)
The dark places, damp
where sensuality springs
I sprung for you,
Then lost my mind…
It burnt me, it burnt me, it burnt me.
First it was heavenly fire
then it turned to non-breathing hell
What is it?
It might have destructed me
But it shocked me, shook me good
Like a just discovered teenage lesbian
And I fell in love, yeah it is true
But what else could I do?
And I fell in love, fell for you
But what was I going to do?
You were a wolf to me
Played with me then made me your prey
But I dance with wolves…
Mar 18, 2017
Mar 18, 2017 at 1:30 PM UTC
I will remember her.
This I can guarantee.
She was the one
Who gave me love,
Took care of me,
So I can take care
Of her.
She will remember me.
This she can guarantee.
I was the one
Who planted the seed,
Took care of her
So she'll take care
Of me.
Who will remember you.
There are no guarantees.
Were you the one
To rely on,
Was weak when strong,
Shared your song to sing,
So we will remember you?
Aug 16, 2015
Aug 16, 2015 at 8:29 AM UTC