#relationshipissues
I gave everything up
just to be with you
I threw away so much
for that sparkle of hope
I sacrificed so much good,
because I trusted you.
But when I asked what we were,
a few days later?
Your reply was
exactly what I had feared.
Sep 10, 2021
Sep 10, 2021 at 7:21 PM UTC
you told me your heart stopped
tell me
when it started again
was that when you became sick of being with me?
Jan 21, 2021
Jan 21, 2021 at 1:17 PM UTC
It happened again
I tried to count to ten
But this time it just didn’t work
And now I’m in bed
With these thoughts in my head
About how you must think I’m a ****
How do I explain
How I’m in so much pain
When you’re hurting too
I should just go to sleep
But all I can think
Is what do I say to you?
I try to pretend
But I’m crying to my friends
On the phone to them every night
And through the tears I yell
While I’m asking ‘What the hell
Must I do to set this right?
How do I explain
How I’m in so much pain
When you’re hurting too
I should just go to sleep
But all I can think
Is what do I say to you?’
They say give it time
But I can’t control it
And now I’m just repeating
I’m sorry, I love you
I’m sorry, I love you
I’m sorry, I love you
I love you
Maybe now I realise
I need to respect your disguise
Or else I will lose you
And so I’ll go to sleep
Instead of trying to think
About what I should say to you
Dec 1, 2020
Dec 1, 2020 at 8:18 PM UTC
You ask me why I left
well here's why.
It's because I realized that
my life is mine.
Maybe you think I'm selfish,
well aren't you too?
You said we would support each other
but nothing was ever true.
You had your dreams,
and I watched as they grew,
I guess I forgot,
that I had dreams too.
You said that I'm selfish,
but maybe it's because you didn't understand,
that in a relationship,
it's not about being in the upper hand.
You said that I'm selfish,
it's because you failed to see,
that even someone like me,
had things I wanted to achieve.
Maybe that's why I left you,
maybe I was wrong,
Maybe I should've told you,
that I wanted to be strong.
You say the past is in the past,
yet you want to start all over again,
I agree that the past is in the past,
but I'm sorry, this is the end.
I've found someone else,
and I hope you do too,
someone who wasn't as "selfish" as I was,
someone who can sacrifice for you.
We all have a soulmate,
I once thought it was you.
But the tides have passed,
the sun has set,
and nothing can be reset,
because I've found someone new.
Oct 8, 2018
Oct 8, 2018 at 11:20 PM UTC
150: "I've never had a fat girlfriend" your now ex-boyfriend explains when questioned about the reason why he said the two of you just won't work. He tells you that "he thinks you're cute, but would be much cuter if you lost a few pounds". His words echo in your brain until eventually insults are the only thing you can force yourself to swallow.
120: Everyone is congratulating you on your extraordinary weight loss, they all want to know your secrets. You don't tell them that every night you're on your knees worshipping the toilet bowl. That the only chocolate you've tasted in months is the chalky, sweetness of the laxatives that you take like a daily vitamin. That you don't allow yourself food until the emptiness inside you threatens to steal your consciousness. Instead, you smile and say "must be good genes".
90: You get into a fight with your mother after she tries to force you to eat dinner with your family. You ate yesterday, this will throw off all the goals you've been striving towards. You no longer know how to survive if you're not destroying yourself in the process.
90: You run into your ex boyfriend at the local Walmart with his new girlfriend. She's heavier than you are, but her eyes still shine like lighthouses, he hasn't gotten to her yet. You try to telepathically tell her to run, to leave while she's still whole, but you know the message gets lost on its way. So you settle for a smile, and a compliment to the figure she still has.
120: It's so hard to live in a society where perfection is unattainable but at the same time required... However, it's not impossible. You are already in recovery, you've made it through the hardest part. It's so much better to be full of food than full of empty wishes.
150: Your new girlfriend whines about how jealous she is of your curves, compares your body to that of an ancient goddess. You hesitantly accept the compliment, still not comfortable with imagining your body as anything other than the curse he made you think it was. Darling, your body is not the curse, your body is the blessing... I'm glad you've finally started treating it as such.
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 5, 2015 at 10:29 PM UTC
The first boy to enter my life never let me finish a sentence without kissing me.
And I remember all the girls saying how romantic it is being interrupted mid-sentence with a kiss.
I did not find this romantic.
Forced silence is not romantic.
Forced silence is not "relationship goals".
Forced silence is degrading.
Forced silence is a sign that the purpose of your lips is to please others instead of speaking your mind.
And maybe I'm overreacting.
I'm sure I'm overreacting.
Because if not, others would have spoken up....right?
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 5, 2015 at 10:24 PM UTC