#reinvent
Get up off your thinking chair
and ski-doo all your blues away
Drive a cold heart through a snow drift
Realize that the static's too blurry
to rationalize through the fake
So don't look for clues, junior
The facts of life are that sitcoms
are no way to base a future
So all I can do is find breathtaking views
and write words that ought to be listened to
by people kneeling in pews
Nov 6, 2021
Nov 6, 2021 at 7:34 AM UTC
My emotions feel synthetic
Fake feelings from a fake persona that I crafted to please you
If only I could live for myself
But I'm acting in a play
One without an audience
So who am acting for?
In those moments alone where I wail Who am I doing this for?
Constantly reinventing myself
But why?
I wish I could be free of this theatre
I hunger for the curtains to close
For the blazing lights to dim
And to sense the silent applause
Die out.
Feb 16, 2021
Feb 16, 2021 at 2:24 PM UTC
It was a curve I was traversing
All the while I kept on cursing.
On the way to be someone they would love
Ignoring the grey clouds above.
In an instant the bubble popped
My armor dropped.
I had poured my heart out
But they still thought I was screaming loud.
I couldn’t hear my voice
Because it got subdued in the noise.
There I stood alone
Heard a crack in my bone.
I thought I was crumbling
But I turned around and started running
It was a curve I was traversing
It did not seem new
They used to fake-sing my praises
Now they talk about me in closed rooms.
I saw the sky turning blue.
They didn’t believe me then
They don’t believe me now
I reinvented myself
But still it wasn’t enough somehow.
Aug 31, 2020
Aug 31, 2020 at 2:10 PM UTC
Pen to paper
I need a new muse
Reclaim what I love
So it’s no longer about you
Stop all these thoughts
Dead in their tracks
Trail blaze some new ones
That don’t take me back
I’ll grab the flashlight
And summon my courage
This might not come easily
But it will be worth it
Things might get dark
I won’t pretend it won’t be hard
But one day at a time
I’ll carve with ink new vessels to this heart
Aug 4, 2020
Aug 4, 2020 at 7:44 AM UTC
I'll reinvent myself
Doesn't mean I'm trying to be someone else
Just because you haven't seen
This side of me
It feels good, it feels clean
Even if it feels a little foreign to me
Your fingerprints aren’t all over everything
Jul 25, 2020
Jul 25, 2020 at 4:11 PM UTC
you threw me far flung
away from myself,
an act of hate and fear.
but it feels good
i have to say,
to look at myself
objectively from this point
so far from the beginning.
i am on the outskirts,
looking back at myself
with love,
and a dedication
to walk through
this new fire,
in an effort
to make myself even
bigger than before.
May 26, 2020
May 26, 2020 at 3:38 PM UTC
What manner this a simple kiss
she knows for her, I'd die
not a miss, or nemesis
she's never shy, or sly
Not for lust turn to dust
she's part of every dream
in her I trust, with every ******
she knows just what, I mean
She'll toss her hair, fine and fair
and throw me that look and smile
eyes aflame, her whispered name
a look of love
yet guile
Jul 22, 2019
Jul 22, 2019 at 12:16 PM UTC
i’ve always been on a
mission to reinvent myself
a mission expressed through
spreadsheets, guitars
powerpoints, paintbrushes
fabric, calculator buttons
bright colors of yarn
coffee and flowers
smiles at strangers
and always words
here and there
then and again
i’ve found myself satisfied
with who i found myself
to be at the end
of the week
i thought things were
on the upswing
thought that i had
almost made it
for two months this year
i was satisfied
with fifty six hour work weeks
and the bright blue blanket
forming under my fingers
the feeling of hope
brewing when i looked in
my bank account and thought
about him
about the home
that wasn’t ours yet but
would be soon
and then it began
to crumble
a brick or two at
a time until a whole
piece of the picture
tumbled out
and my weeks were reduced
to thirty five hours and
a crippling sense of
impending disaster
even though everything else
was still looking up
now that i have a
bit of extra time i find
myself low on motivation
and wondering
if it’s time to build
a new version of myself
but i’ve reinvented myself
so many times
i don’t have the energy
to do it again
i just want to
exist
just want to fall
asleep in bed at the
end of the day and
not wake up in the morning
wanting to sleep
for the rest of the day
to enjoy moving
my body
the way the
seasons change
and how the stars
look at night
i’ve always been good
at staying
you just keep doing
what you’ve been doing
let your routines pull
you along with them
but now i’m learning
the art of leaving
and i’m finding its not
as hard as i thought it was
in fact you might
even think
of it as almost
freeing
the leaving
behind of what’s
gotten too
familiar
the option to
reinvent
past leavings
have hurt
left me reeling
on cold floors
fighting to get air
into my lungs
but this time
the leaving is
quiet
barely noticeable
in the chilly
morning dew
as i let myself
slip away
under the gray sky
that hasn’t yet
realized it’s hanging
over a lost town
and i don’t feel pain
only the slightest
twinge of
bittersweet nostalgia
i’m not going
to reinvent myself
this time
i’m going to
exist
and somewhere
along the line
i think maybe
it’s myself
that i’ll find
Jun 8, 2019
Jun 8, 2019 at 12:29 AM UTC
Finding What Was Lost 1/12/19
I’m searching for something I’ve lost. You can’t help me look for it.
I can’t quite remember what I did with it. This thing that seems to elude me.
How could I misplace something so important?
I became complacent, that’s what happened.
What was an intrinsic part of me, not nurtured, left me abandoned.
If I call to it, it does not come like a puppy who has escaped the yard with its tail tucked in between his legs.
I have to show what I’ve lost, that it is of value to me.
“Hello?” please come back. I swear I’ll do better, and work harder than I ever have.
I know now that my existence is meaningless without this part of me.
Realizing this, I reach into the dark places of my mind for the light switch to flip on.
Recalling every detail about what I love to do, nurturing what gives me purpose.
Because, in the end, only I can fulfill this need.
Reinventing, transforming, and evolving. Finding myself along to way.
Becoming a better version of what I was and, in doing that, embrace me.
Hello soul.
By.
Randy McPeek
Jan 12, 2019
Jan 12, 2019 at 4:20 PM UTC
lean boys with bruised skin line the walls—
he turns; last five dollars already to the funhouse manager
(thank you, ma'am)
he reminds himself not to inhale, for fear that he will remember the emptiness of the carpet beneath his feet and in his throat and in his eyes
indulging worst nightmares seemed like a better idea on the fields of the fairground,
where he couldn't escape shifting eyes and spun pink silk and the bloating in the photos that the medical examiner took when his body washed up onshore
he is surrounded when his eyes are closed,
with the water by the beach, inhaling like he'll never breathe again and he breathes you in, you in every state of matter
melted eyes and cheap cologne; and he is drenched in the molasses voice he knew in another life,
before
before
when he was young and glittering
when he was untouchable
immortal
the mirrors reflect luxury in the form of decent highs and indecent clothes and
movement in the night as they never stop;
heaven to africa, and not back again
Jan 20, 2016
Jan 20, 2016 at 9:23 AM UTC
Moved by the guiding hands of the wind,
While avoiding the living room box's trend.
Although fixate with this generation's iPad,
Or impulse to explore the Xbox's dungeon,
And glimpse the pages of the Forbe, the Facebook, and the likes.
Make time to be in the moment of solace,
A time to dream to explore ideals,
Like floating in nebula avoiding the all powerful black hole.
Navigating the void of the sense of inner torment,
Or charting the boundries of the next voyages of personal task.
One does need to depart from disparity of news,
Or lose sense of humanity by deprived reality TV,
For satirical movies like Idiocracy prophesied seem realized.
One does need to regroup in personal cocoon,
Meld by the silent melodies of beating chest,
Like metronome syncing the keys of the piano to Bach,
While breathing upon the horizon of rebirth,
And find your enshrouded foggy path by beacon of self enlightenment.
Nov 25, 2015
Nov 25, 2015 at 8:41 PM UTC
I always dreamed
Reimagining myself
Into someone with more confidence
Someone who is bold, brave, wise
Someone who can achieve everything
I can only wish for
I always dreamed of praise
For appreciation for what I do
Who I am
I strived for it
With each new reinvention of myself
Only to be disappointed
I am constantly unsure
Of who I am
Or where I'm going
And I just want to be me
Without restraint
And I can't shake the feeling
That I've been so lost in these ideas
Of who I should be
That I'll never be able to find
I'll never be able to be
Appreciated
For who I really am.
Jul 6, 2015
Jul 6, 2015 at 3:17 PM UTC
i must reinvent
so my friends will forget and
strangers will want to.
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 9:17 PM UTC