#reindeer
When Santa got stuck up the chimney it caused such a scene
Chaos broke out everywhere, the worst I’ve ever seen.
People standing watching while others did their jobs
Upsetting our new neighbours which was fine for they are snobs.
Snow was falling thickly the temperature had dropped
A blizzard started earlier and it just hadn’t stopped.
Someone heard his cries for help so they called nine one one
They thought the caller joking, thought he was having fun.
Six firemen and their tender were the first ones to arrive
Hoping when they got there that Santa was alive.
They extended up their ladder till it reached the chimney stack
But they couldn’t see poor Santa their view blocked by a sack.
Next arrived the policemen to cordon off the square
To hold back all the nosey folk who came from everywhere.
A keeper from the local zoo was the next guy to appear
Summoned by authorities to look after nine reindeer.
They’d munched upon our borders and chewed our Christmas wreath
There wasn’t really anything safe from all those teeth.
TV crews then battled to get a better view
Behind the lights of police cars flashing red and blue.
Police held back bystanders letting builders and their tools
Make their way to our house past the hoards of shivering fools.
Scaffolding erected they began to deconstruct
The brickwork where it was thought Santa had got stuck.
There’s hotdog stalls and burger vans, ice cream stands there as well
Our street is fast becoming a scene straight out of hell.
Two tired paramedics at the end of a long day
Yawned and asked each other was this really worth their pay,
To sit here for a fat man who really should know more
Than to try to use a chimney when theres always been a door.
Our chimneys near demolished and still he’s not been found
The brickworks gone, the builders are almost at the ground.
And now there someone at the door with a briefcase and a scowl
The underwriters lackey making sure there’s nothing foul.
He sat upon our sofa, glasses hanging from his ears
he said he’d never known the likes in all his working years.
Then there was a rumble, a crash, a cloud of soot
A sack appeared, a tattered suit, a belt and one right boot.
And when the dust had settled and we could see around
Although his clothes where on the floor Santa wasn’t found.
So now then I will tell you what the underwriter said
As he wiped with a hanky the sweat off his forehead.
“Santa did a runner as he was not insured,”
The reindeer too, they were gone from where they had been moored.
So now I’m out a fortune having all these repairs done
And did Santa leave a present, not a single ****** one.
Sep 20, 2025
Sep 20, 2025 at 8:36 AM UTC
"Tis the eve before Christmas and nights silence abounds.
Darkness has fallen and only slight breeze to make sounds.
All down the quiet street each house light is now turned out.
Many hours since merry occupants were moving about.
Tucked tight in their beds are each young girl and small boy,
awaiting the morn of Santa inspired mirth and pure joy.
I sit crouched in the hedge my senses alert and aloof,
This year I'll get him before his reindeer ***** on my roof.
Dec 24, 2021
Dec 24, 2021 at 4:12 PM UTC
Jolly antlers
Curling happily like fingers do
Adornment of a stranger's imagination
Funny toothless braying
A beautiful accompaniment to the white rocks
"Ting ting"
The bell strung from your neck joyously speaks your odd truth
Tender plodding of new hooves,
The scabs of your retelling leave their own interpretation of your metamorphosis
You may be reconfigured
But you are complete
My little reindeer
Jul 8, 2021
Jul 8, 2021 at 12:26 AM UTC
Prickles of the pine
it's reindeer time
across the moon at night
like fireflies in flight
buzzing little beez
elves in Christmas trees
Santa's gift to us,
kids happiness and love.
Dec 20, 2020
Dec 20, 2020 at 1:32 AM UTC
Rudolph The Red stayed in his shed
Unhappy with minimum wage
He refused to get started
Cos he wasn't rewarded
With the promised end of year raise
Rudolph The Red sang with his friends
And staged an all-advent sit-in
But Santa just smiled
Cos his jet had been fuelled
In advance for such an occasion
Rudolph The Red looked overhead
While Santa sped round the world
When Santa got back
With his large empty sack
His workshop was empty of Elves
Rudolph The Red was no longer led
By thoughts of personal gain
He'd formed his first union
With Elves and ten snowmen
And the workers were free once again
Nov 20, 2019
Nov 20, 2019 at 8:54 AM UTC
Uncle Christmas
was mucking out
happily mucking in
and wondering
what might have been
had his twin not been sneakier
and the first to emerge
to claim the Father moniker.
Uncle found to his surprise
he was quite content to be
the deputy
and not have the pressure
at the top of the Christmas hierarchy.
Rather he was happier
working with the reindeer,
being grubbier, a little smellier,
leaving his brother
to bear the mantle that was heavier.
However at each and every Christmas dinner
when the family all got together
Uncle still insisted with a jocular grin
that compared to his twin
he was far better looking
and definitely
relatively
slim.
Nov 6, 2017
Nov 6, 2017 at 5:14 PM UTC
My name's Rudolph,
and I'm a reindeer
Nose of light,
rock-night/crystal clear
My name's Ru,
My name's Ru,
Name's Ru. . .
My name's Rudolph,
and I'm a reindeer
Nose of light,
rock-night/crystal clear
One night a year,
I head the sleigh
Good or bad,
play or pay
My name's Rudolph
'now-what-do-you-say?'
My name's Rudolph,
and I'm a reindeer
Nose of light,
rock-night/crystal clear
My name's Rudolph,
I brought San-ta here
Got eleven brothers,
they call 'em reindeer
Rock the whole world,
'only-once-a-year'
Discovered on a farm,
no fans, -no cheer
Made fun o' me,
'cause my nose queer'
Nose of light,
rock-night/crystal clear
My name's Ru,
My name's Ru,
Name's Ru. . .
My name's Rudolph,
and I'm a reindeer
Nose of light,
rock-night/crystal clear
My name's Rudolph,
and I'm a reindeer
Nose of light,
rock-night/crystal clear
So Santa comes up,
has this to say;
"There's no Sun,
...how do we light the way?"
Brother reindeer's looking here nor there...
Santa an elves searching every-where
Nose lights up,
they stop and stare!
So Santa comes up,
has this to say;
"Your nose so bright,
why don't you light my way?"
Better not laugh,
or mess with reindeer
My name's Rudolph,
I kick it in gear
My name's Rudolph,
and I'm a reindeer
Nose of light,
rock-night/crystal clear
My name's Ru,
My name's Ru,
Name's Ru. . .
These horns is guns,
nose a la-ser
Eyes on target,
and that is you Sir
You better be good,
or I'm taking you out
*'member-my-name-son,
cause-I-got-clout'*
My name's Rudolph,
and I'm a reindeer
Ruddy as Hell,
so listen right cheer
My name's Rudolph,
and I'm a reindeer
Nose of light,
rock-night/crystal clear
My name's Ru,
My name's Ru,
Name's Ru. . .
My name's Rudolph,
and I'm a reindeer
Nose of light,
rock-night/crystal clear
My name's Rudolph,
and I'm a reindeer
Nose of light,
rock-night/crystal clear
My name's Rudolph,
and I'm a reindeer
My name's Rudolph,
and I'm a reindeer
My name's Rudolph,
and I'm a reindeer
Dec 19, 2016
Dec 19, 2016 at 9:48 PM UTC
So last night, I stopped by Santa's workshop
And I met his team of eight tiny reindeer
His sweet little wife and all of his elves
AND do you know, they whispered in my ear
some members of Hello Poetry are very naughty
So Santa's added their names to his list, my dear
AND Santa declared with a very saddened heart
they will be blessed with nothing this year
Nov 23, 2016
Nov 23, 2016 at 5:02 AM UTC
We all know about Rudolph
and how his nose lights up the night
And olive, the other reindeer
Who help Santa with his flight
But, there's one who is forgotten
From the Christmas songs and rhymes
And I think you should hear about him
Yes, I think it is about time
Randy was a reindeer
He liked to play the reindeer games
But he too, was like Rudolph
And the others called him names
Randy, wasn't much at flying
Didn't like going out most nights
Randy, well, he was just different
You see, he was afraid of heights
He couldn't see where he was going
Either in the day or night
You see Randy needed glasses
He had a problem with his sight
His balance was in question
Always falling to the ground
If a reindeer falls in the forest
Does that reindeer make a sound?
He had a skin condition
He needed special cream to help
The harness didn't help him
In fact, it made him yelp
He was shorter than the others
And his stride was a bit off
And when Santa came to see him
Randy had a nervous cough
He didn't like the female reindeer
He liked the males, more than he should
Randy was "light up in the antlers"
And to Santa, that's no good
Santa couldn't fly with Randy
Randy's name, it was all wrong
It screamed out Broadway not of Christmas
It didn't work in all the songs
Santa said "you're a strange reindeer"
"You can't fly, you're blind and gay"
"And if you led my team out"
"We'd not be done in just one day"
"I'm sorry, reindeer Randy"
"I have to cut you from the team"
"They play one side,you're another"
"If you know what Santa means"
So, Randy, he just wanders
Round the north pole all the while
Bumping into things and falling
With his light antlers and strange smile
He's not a famous reindeer
And I think that it's ok
That Santa has a reindeer
Who, we now all know is gay.
Dec 1, 2012
Dec 1, 2012 at 9:26 PM UTC
The lights all up around me
They dance and flicker
Swirling up and down each tree
As the music gets quicker
What a colorful holiday
Something new around each bend
We climb into Santa’s sleigh
And begin to ascend
The clouds fall below us
As we are launched into the sky
The turns we took were brusque
But the heavens never felt so nigh…
...
...
I cover you with a quilt
For the sleigh keeps climbing higher
Towards your hometown we tilt
I wonder, what will transpire?
There’s something big in the back
Is it full of coal?
Perhaps there’s something else in that sack
A doll, a plane, a little toy troll?
Perhaps we will find out
Your hometown draws near
Rudolf raises his red snout
Followed by the rest of the reindeer…
...
...
They shift their gaze
Towards a landing strip
People down there in a craze
We must look like a spaceship
They angle their flight
Right down the middle
It is quite the sight
And the thrill makes us giggle
What’s going on down below?
I ask Santa sitting up front
“I don’t really know”
He says as a reindeer grunts
“They must be waiting for you
Down there, to see what took place
For you came back with her,
That’s not exactly commonplace”
I look back at you, and you meet my gaze
Together we’ll get through
Of that I have no doubt
The sleigh is landing now
There is no backing out…
...
...
Santa pulls up on the reins
On the landing strip the sleigh glides
Only stepping out remains
As we do, the crowd divides
There in the middle
Surrounded by curious people
Stands a man with thumbs he twiddles
He looks more nervous than you or I
I grab your hand and look back again
This is it, we feel suddenly shy
Now’s not the time, so confidence we feign
We look forward and meet his eye
He looks at us and gives a sigh
“Dad?” you say
You look back at me, with display
Introductions are made
Feelings are conveyed
We no longer stand in a masquerade
Everything is out
The closet has swung open
We have nothing left to hide
You squeeze my hand
I coincide
As we look to your dad and wait
…
…
He looks at you with love
Then he looks at me squarely
Before he can say a word
Santa breaks in and shouts “let’s all be merry!”
The crowd breaks into laughter
As Santa sates the air with a magic
And joy fills everyone’s thoughts
Your father looks at us again
This time, with a smile, he simply nods
May 27, 2016
May 27, 2016 at 10:53 AM UTC
Christmas Eve was coming
There was plenty to be done
There were protocols to follow
There were programs to be run
Presents needed wrapping
Elves had duties of their own
They've been doing it for centuries
They could call Christmas in by phone
Reindeer games were scheduled
Christmas Carols to be sung
There were toys to be assembled
There were bells that must be wrung
Christmas Cakes...no problem
For we all know there's just one
It gets passed around each Christmas
And that is half the fun
But, back now to the reindeer games
Donner wasn't there
But, neither were three others
It gave Santa Claus a scare
He called the elven vet in
Said "find out what it wrong"
"If I don't have all my reindeer"
"It'll ruin Rudolph's song"
The vet came back directly
Hoof and mouth was what he said
The reindeer must miss Christmas
They were all confined to bed
Santa couldn't take it
Reindeer home...what would he do?
He thought real hard about an answer
Where would he find something that flew
The vet said, "I've an answer"
"But, no questions...just your trust"
"I'll get your gifts delivered Santa"
"I just need your magic dust"
Santa said "do your best Doctor"
"We can't have Christmas end like this"
"Are you sure you have an answer?"
"We can't give Christmas time a miss"
The vet and elves went searching
They formed a team like none before
They went around to the animals
And then they knocked on Santa's door
Santa looked at what they'd brought him
His reindeer gone, but here they stood
A team had been assembled
It made Santa sink into his hood
Harnessed up before him
The vet had two dogs and a bear
A ****** goat, and donkey
And a bald, blind cat...stood there
He smiled and said "Dear Santa"
"They may not look like that much now"
"But, they'll get you where you need to be"
"And they'll be led by a brown cow"
If you hear some noises
From your roof, like bleats and barks
Some, meowing or some mooing
And other strange sounds in the dark
Remember, it's just Santa
With his new team for the season
Rex, Rolf, Billy, Ben, Bessie, Joe, and Mike
and a bald, blind cat who's freezin'
Merry Christmas to all and to all....don't look up!!
Nov 10, 2012
Nov 10, 2012 at 8:37 PM UTC
*Yee hee hee hee haw
ha ha ha ha ha
the old Laughing Santa wished
íFeliz Navidad!
with his eight little reindeers, carrying the sleigh
he came swiftly, flying our way
sleigh bells ringing, whooshing through the snow
his sturdy little reindeers, rushed in a row
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and *****
Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen
they swoosh and crash and dash and scoot
they bolt so fast, and look so cute
children singing and dancing with joy
as he showers some glitters of happiness in sky
It's an occasion of celebration
there's no room for sadness
let's spread the joy by doing
a random act of kindness
Yee hee hee hee haw
ha ha ha ha ha
the old Laughing Santa wished
íFeliz Navidad!*
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 2:20 AM UTC
*In the forest stood tall admirable pine trees,
As we walked hand in hand with ease,
Upon a blanket of snowy and frozen grounds,
Hearing voices and beautiful sounds.
While the cold winds softly echoed through the night,
Bringing harmonious whispers, as we glared into the moonlight,
And the trees were beautifully dressed in white, on this Christmas Eve,
With clusters of long evergreen needle leaves.
The breeze murmured through the branches,
Gently waving making advances,
Saying "please take me home,"
"I am stuck in the cold" in a low tone.
Near lied an adorable reindeer,
Whispering words we barely could hear,
When we walked closer, it fearfully ran,
As fast as it can.
Joined by a polar bear,
Who sadly said "I am scared,"
And we quickly selected our tree,
Though it was quite difficult to see.
When we walked away and glanced behind,
The adorable creatures, followed appearing quite divine,
With laughter and smiles,
Softly saying "we hope to see you again," and their eyes looked as radiant as a child.*
Jun 3, 2014
Jun 3, 2014 at 2:52 AM UTC
Katie Price
Had a collection
Of last season's
Brassieres
Which she indexed
With the help
Of a sincere
Bilingual reindeer
Dressed in spandex
Who for some reason
Was single.
Taxonomy
Is so important to me
Said Katie.
So they were labelled
And kept in taxis
At disused angle grinder factories
Near the Tower of Babel
So posterity
Would be able
To analyse
The finer points
Of her physiognomy.
Quite an unusual praxis
And something of an anomaly
For someone like me
Wouldn't you agree?
Cross my heart
And hope to die
I agree.
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 2:42 PM UTC