#recover
Take a breath, let stillness be your guide, even in labor, peace resides. Moments of rest heal and impart, A balm of quietude for the weary heart.
In this respite, you find a sacred space, a pause unconfined, Where heart and mind, in tranquil bind, Recover strength, become realigned.
Jan 14, 2025
Jan 14, 2025 at 3:47 PM UTC
I am standing at the precipice of a new beginning
the first step is encased in concrete
the landscape is green mountains and laughing streams
Behind me is cloudy and ablaze with rage
ahead it seems as if I would be happy here
Why is it so hard to make that first step
I am frightened
They appear, take my hands and my feet are free and floating
"Come play with us " They cry
"Where were you?" I exclaim "I needed you!"
"We were here all along,
holding your hands,
walking with you,
waiting for you to be ready " they respond.
"Why didn't I SEE you?." I respond.
"You just had to alter your course and remove your sight from the fires of rage"
Sep 18, 2024
Sep 18, 2024 at 10:18 AM UTC
this bowl can still
be repaired
even if it
seems broken
irredeemably
even if its pieces
have been trodden
underfoot
further ground down
in an effort
to recover those
scattered fragments
as unlikely as
it may be that
these edges can
be jigsawed together
aligned once more
it could simply be
a case of
embracing the cracks
that might remain
filling them
with something
to be marvelled at
Mar 21, 2023
Mar 21, 2023 at 8:52 PM UTC
It's all what we make it
It's all up to how we deal
You can just give up
Or you can put your **** in gear
Face it fearlessly
Tear through it
Ride that ***** like a bull
Grab those horns
Rise above
Let yourself see your success
See yourself succeed
Now that's how to deal
©Jennifer L DeLong. 🦏2/19/23
Feb 20, 2023
Feb 20, 2023 at 4:01 AM UTC
I could write
on emotion alone.
Through bitterness,
I sought beauty.
With rage,
I expressed
the torrent within.
All was aflame,
all had burned brightly.
But now,
it is naught but a flicker.
I pass time quietly,
as the ash of past emotions
blanket the landscape with grey.
I am tired.
I fear I may
never recover.
Jun 21, 2022
Jun 21, 2022 at 5:25 PM UTC
leaving grief. and i—i now remember why
i should never have allowed anyone
to get under my buckling skin
for fine friends are only fine, friends until
they know the perfect way to damage
the stillborn remnants of what you hold on to
them, without patience, distraught,
you; promises of finding someone better
overhearing a devotion that cannot possibly be true
only useful in the event of an epiphanic letdown
i love you but why have i loved you
did i love you because you were kind for five seconds
and it was only fair to bleed when it should not be enough
did you not love me because i wasn’t enough
or because you knew i was nothing to be proud of?
from knowing too much, trusting too well
follies and fey melodies for a final disconnect
i loved you never mean what you say
say anything to say anything to say anything to say
sorry. your smug conversation is one i carry still with me
even as the tactile memory of you burns
and my singed skin curls into the shape of an old friend
who never cared. i never remember to forget
they’ll always be there until they aren’t
leaving, grief, and i—i no longer wish for a happier end
i only wish there was a softer way to recover.
Jan 29, 2022
Jan 29, 2022 at 5:17 PM UTC
im sad because my brother leaves again in a few weeks and i only saw him twice
im sad because i never had a dad
im sad because i "recovered" and i hate myself more than before
im sad because my medication doesnt work
im sad because i have no money
im sad because im not good at anything
im sad because i have no culture
im sad because people are uninformed
im sad because im sick
im sad because im being invalidated and told to just "get better"
im sad because everything feels like its falling apart
im sad because i have no god
im sad because im lost
i wish i could disappear
i wish i could find a way
to make a way
Jan 14, 2022
Jan 14, 2022 at 12:23 AM UTC
Turning in this day
Turning over in dismay
For here, as I lay,
Comforted in these sheets
A chill turns to a burning blaze
My mind trapped in a dizzying haze
Aching muscle and raspy tone
Weakness cripples every bone
Shallow comes each breath
That escapes my parched lips
To countless others it foretold death
Filmed in countless clips
But, not for I
Not in this day, not this time
Not in this peculiar rhyme
For here I shall not die
To recover
To grow stronger
Prepare for what may come
The war is not yet over
With hope, it won't be much longer
For this great disease we shall overcome.
- Jay M
June 3rd, 2021
Jun 3, 2021
Jun 3, 2021 at 2:48 PM UTC
the truth is I can do
a thousand and one things
with him,
that reminds me of you,
but he's just not you
Jan 29, 2021
Jan 29, 2021 at 12:04 PM UTC
I don't know that
but I know for once that
I am proud,
Not glad, neither sad
Not uplifted, yet not drowned
I'm just proud,
of where I was and where it brought me,
of every defeat that comes across
of every each win however it is small
of who I am and who I am becoming
I realise now,
though I am not always fun, neither smart
Not always calm, yet not mad
that all of my past cannot define me
I am right here
Simply,
Right now
And all that I wish
is to remain
proud.
Jan 17, 2021
Jan 17, 2021 at 3:09 PM UTC
yesterday I had a talk with my heart
the last few days have been hard
I tried to explain what was going on
what we will work upon
couldn’t put it into words
there are plenty of concerns
but it’s going to be okay
and the worries will go away
and if I choose to be my own lover
my heart and I, we will recover.
- gio
Nov 8, 2020
Nov 8, 2020 at 1:11 PM UTC
they say
time will heal your heart;
yet both are infinite
Aug 23, 2020
Aug 23, 2020 at 9:20 PM UTC
Amid the thundering exterior of redemption, and the pulsing currents encompassing repossession, I find something more gentle inside recovery.
A faint radiance, of which resembles an immersion amongst the tenderness of learning how, once again, to bloom.
Aug 6, 2020
Aug 6, 2020 at 7:20 AM UTC
As my time comes to an end
the trees take me in
no longer camouflaged
i become the leaf,
i will visit this world when the light appears
i will grow strong
i will give my self to who ever needs my body
they will be part of me
i can recover
my feet are firmly planted
when my time to sleep draws near
my colours will change
i withdraw with the dimming of the light
my carcass will be absolved into earth
i watch
i listen
i feel
I
Jun 19, 2020
Jun 19, 2020 at 6:59 AM UTC
This Too Shall Pass
"These are not normal times" and
We agreed
Why not say we all are sick
So we seek to heal?
It's our fight to recover
A collective responsibility
What is there to discover
beyond the perimeter of our doors?
The streets no longer teem
Fellowships and gatherings our hotspot
Even rigid cultures have changed
Super nations under attack
Listen! The world is in crisis
It's not normal a time for us
to discover the world around us
Is it so much to contain?
The good news!
We can build on
But not out of danger
Let's keep our anger away from the survivors
One thing for sure,
"The child at the back of the mother
does not know the distance covered by
the weary feets of the mother, until he comes down and equally takes a walk"
Our leaders need us to cooperate and it's our cooperation that will make their work even easier.
Let's listen to our leaders
as we obey and allow the sciences.
Very soon, we shall see the signs
of the morning near because in the
clouds of misery, there is hope from the
rain that cometh forth.
God is our witness and
We'd come to our wits' end
This too shall pass..
May 25, 2020
May 25, 2020 at 5:52 AM UTC
Been running silent,
Silent but deep
Into the wondering night,
All of that seemed so bright.
Once upon a time,
Holding your hand in a place
Of serenity and peace
With blinding passion and love,
I was always at ease.
With the moon glancing at your face,
The trembles of leaves, the luscious forest
Reminding me of the times
when we had it all but eventually spent.
In rather the discussions of the dichotomy,
Of what it meant to lose ourselves in each other's minds
And still be able to think
About all the moments when time stood still.
You were always there to connect,
I was maybe lost within
This journey of memory I had withheld.
My mind still plays these tricks
As I fade out to the thoughts
Where am I standing?
With you by a silent creek.
Playing with those pebbles
Now they just seem like stones
Of cold and heartache, the pain had left me afloat.
These feelings never let me sleep,
never let me sink to the bottom
The depth of our purpose was something I could never fathom.
There were times when the sky looked so bright,
now just seems like a clutter of unwavering clouds.
All the things you used to say,
All the things left unsaid
Now feels like an ephemeral mirage
Maybe if I could still see the pain
I would reach out to you,
Little did I know we were so close,
Yet in desperate need of repair.
Despondent and despair as I feel right now
I always believed,
we could survive the crushing burden somehow,
Of how we wanted to feel each other
And wished each other to just be.
Being yourself with someone else
Didn't seem like a challenge before,
Little did I know
I was waiting for a hail mary,
Before the perpetual snow.
I can still see so vividly
How your lips were always so tender,
Never leaving a chance
For me to do nothing but surrender.
I tried to change but that rarely works,
For you have to see yourself in the mirror first
Before you make the eventual jump.
My ears could recognise you from your soul-soothing voice
Is all a distant memory now, a cacophony in disguise.
Held pictures of you in my heart,
Trying to take them all down now
For it had to be done,
Otherwise, I might again sway.
Your eyes did have that shine
For me to slip away,
I wish time was kinder
So you to still be here
For I didn't just lose you,
But also a part of me
That had to be buried deep inside now.
Maybe I needed help to recover little parts of me somehow,
Maybe some parts were still left unscathed
Hoping for your eventual return, my mind played another one of its tricks.
Only time will tell
If I do get up or just sit there and dwell
Even if I wanted to,
I got no control over time,
All I know for a fact is,
Only this time I couldn't make you mine
Our story did always feel like a book,
A book with no ending
With its ups and downs
A terrifying thriller.
At the end of each preceding chapter
I should rather stop and run away,
Before I turn over to the last ones
Who am I kidding?
Things don't just seem to change.
I was a leaf caught in a blizzard,
Waiting for the eventual rain
Hoping to rise from the ashes
Of the toxic smoke,
Wishing for a return to normalcy
From the tragic crisis that this seems.
A remedy for solicitude,
Is to maybe replace it with solitude
At the end of it all though,
I'm just hoping for a glimmer of hope.
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 9:18 AM UTC
The tears that razor emotions bleed,
can we ever recover from
those momentary eclipses
that smother light from the darkest needing..
Silence...
May 17, 2020
May 17, 2020 at 4:41 PM UTC
Despite
That you are far away
And you don't know me
Behold, I send you the feeling
Which I invented…
It's not abstract at all,
On the contrary
You can touch it
And felt his high fever,
Severe illness
And
Of course
Recovering...
Mar 13, 2020
Mar 13, 2020 at 6:33 PM UTC
so unexpectedly
you appeared
carefully picking me up
from all the shattered pieces
until i resembled
something
remotely human
you held me close
and kissed my scars
so softly
never once
questioning their existence
quietly accepting
the cage i had built
so desperately
around myself
until one day
without realising,
my home
was no longer a prison
but your arms.
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 5:53 PM UTC
Thou pain is thine to burden
Thou love is thine to shelter
Be it not of obligation
But out of respect for another
Thy heart and soul
Intertwined with thou
Thy hope is nigh
For thy field is barren
Be that as it may
Thy soul still urns
For thou soft whisper
In thine ear
Be swift yet brutal
With thy piercing words
For thou hast lost
All of thy fear
List not my transgressions
But announce thine triumph
For if thou walketh the dark path
Thou will only hurt thineself
Feb 15, 2020
Feb 15, 2020 at 7:10 PM UTC
1. When asked to write about how I feel,
I was honestly terrified of writing it,
So I told myself that what I was afraid to write
Was exactly what needed to be written.
2. Sometimes, I forget to smile when I’m “supposed to;”
I suppose that’s my apathetic facade trying to cover up
My social anxiety like a security blanket.
3. I let those that I care about walk over me like I’m the red carpet,
Their high heels digging into my soul, gouging my eyes,
And breaking my bones, but I still manage to say, “It’s okay,”
Even with my shattered jawbones.
4. This world makes me feel crazy, but there are a few people
That make me feel complete, make me feel like the girl I was
Long before I understood the grievances
That life sends in our directions.
5. I’ve decided to try to forgive when others dig their daggers
Deep into my spine, but to never forget what they did to me,
As if I ever could.
6. Anxiety is the ocean I often find myself drowning in,
And I usually only really find two hands extended
In my desperate attempt to find air— One being human,
The one to keep my thoughts at bay and my heart secure,
And the other being a monster,
The very thoughts that drown me.
7. My mind is the very monster that I fear deep down in my core,
The serpent that poisons my sacred garden,
That haunting voice whispering for me to reach for the stars,
And to chase after my dreams,
Just to turn around and clip my tattered wings.
8. Even now, I’m shaking in my socks, and my semi-colon tattooed heart
Is beating against every rib in my body
In a game of pinball that I don’t remembering paying to play.
9. Sometimes, I worry that I’ll never stop this worrying.
Everywhere I look, there’s heartbreak and fear,
But even if my heart breaks into a million irreparable pieces,
I’ll collect the dust of my remnants and turn it into something
Even more beautiful than it once was.
10. It takes so much more time to heal than it does to break,
But I have faith in the idea that if you cut down a tree and leave it be,
Eventually, it will spring forth once more,
With sunlight, support, and just a little bit of courage.
Feb 10, 2020
Feb 10, 2020 at 3:06 PM UTC
One day,
I'm dead,
Those who hate me,
rise and dance in a happy mood,
Those who love me,
Cries and tears like morning dew.
The second day,
My body was buried deep in the ground,
Those who hate me,
Looking at my grave,
With a smile on their face,
Those who love me,
dare not to look back at my place
feeling something was misplaced
One year later,
My bones have rotted,
My grave was clotted,
Those who hate me,
Occasionally mention me after tea,
Aimlessly ascension like a flying bee.
Those who love me,
In the dead of night,
Silent tears to whom may cry?
Jan 20, 2020
Jan 20, 2020 at 8:35 AM UTC
Silent prayers are being recited all thru my consciousness
Of desperation and a moment of escalating into a rare flare of clarity
My mind screaming to go escape the reality of my current toils of Life and saddened realization that am still stuck in square one...still waging war thru my tumultuous addiction I just want true joy peace and prosperity a want a different Life for myself but I always self-sabotage my sobriety walk with an endless urge to go get high one more time just one last time I get some sober time under my belt and again feel inadequate to deal with Life triggers, problems, clutter and stressors beat me back to using once again. I try to talk to my peers to God to councilors to doctors to my own head and mind to my addiction begging and pleading I want to be free but I love getting high a little more than sobriety but I want to understand why this is...I recall that I use substances to temporarily relieve my schizophrenia and ADHD. To get a frozen piece of time to reconnect with my inner soul but at the same time feeding this demons that keep me trapped inside a mental prism that the only way out is wanting to live a life of no use of any mind altering substances. Am stuck between wanting a better healthier more enjoyable Life without pushing any efforts into changing knowing that ultimately lead me back to using dope to do something am comfortable and feel at a pleasant with utilizing my own body to conduct a forced neurological and psychological change...so I can once again relive and reminiscence on that subtle wave of calmness and comfort I adore so much. Harsh reality sets in I run out of substances to indulge in and slowly but surely my brain synapses go back to normality and re-stabilize. I keep wanting this revolutionary change of mind but am willingly putting no work towards getting better...I am here pondering is it because my own drug use has become hardened enveloped in a complex mechanism that tactically constructs avenues to facilitate it's initial impulse to go and do what makes my mind and body feel at ease with a touch of serenity and well being. Nevertheless, when the drugs are completely expelled from my system I pay the toll for pushing my biological neural and nervous system to it's peak functionality. The biggest obstacle in my path to sobriety is mundane ordinary routines of every day living life without no sense of gratification thru drugs themselves. Am truly trying to reach that place where I feel as if this drugs I involve myself to use leave me disgusted at myself for doing that to myself when its all a grand illusive temporal alleviation of stress problems and feelings and emotions being blocked off and masked to a degree of non-existent competence. Am left in the end with a constant inner symptom of slightly elevated compulsive feeling of wanting to repeat the experience again and again and again. This becomes the battle and little by little becomes a rampaging addiction depending on the person's impulsivity level and puts the person in a state of uncomfortable decision making when in reality the drugs don't solve anything thru them the problems become temporarily "out of sight out of mind" but when sobriety sets back in and every neuronal and hormonal changes due to the use become expelled and fully removed from the user's system the user goes thru a period of acute withdrawals and followed by other minimal symptoms like irritability, depressed mood, dysphoria and neuro-chemical imbalances. All I am going to focus from now on is how to slow down my use to the point ill be easy for me to leave it alone all at once. I want to believe I can find true joy peace contentment and happiness thru being drug free but every time I think of it I give myself a certain doubt that in time it becomes malignant and grows to be another reservation waiting to be subconsciously manifested. Sooner or later my subconscious becomes too hard to ignore and I play the game of "insanity" again and go do what I know... Which is get intoxicated. I will sooner or later learn how to deal with my Life's trials and tribulations in a different way and learn that thru God's grace & power I can be clean and arrest this monster once and for all.
Dec 25, 2019
Dec 25, 2019 at 7:05 PM UTC
I've often thought of this day
The day I write of losing you,
My heart I said would carry on
But how could this be true
The muse you are I knew I'd lose
I'll always write for you
its just now a different tune.
I didnt know what would happen
my dreams turn sour
Fingertips dented and hard,
Eyes need another hour
My Lips are numb from the filter
I'll always write, I knew I could
I just wanted to write in love of you
I cant write
Dec 25, 2019
Dec 25, 2019 at 12:21 PM UTC