#reconnect
Lift. Lofty wish to see,
good smoke.
Man, this is really going out on a limb, fruit flies
wise, look at us how nothing we are,
if you happened,
if you occurred on earth,
where mountains stand wind watch,
and catch fat clouds in old frozen winter passed.
Passing fantacy, as children, fit story's told
to rain and wind and fire, older now than we imagine,
but… yes, that is so, we make nothing we imagine,
we create by recreational efforting, you may imagine
a pleasant interchange, exchanging
as we exude true wonder, worth the effort, looking
farther than our minds can hold as mine, we own this.
As soon as owning taps the child's will to claim more,
than the knowing - awe state,
and the knowing of the cost, to first willingness,
and the doing,
the climb, each upward efforting will, paid, in full.
Sep 17, 2023
Sep 17, 2023 at 2:26 PM UTC
tumase pyaar hone laga hai
RD.... jaanam
A heart in love sees the other side of life and living with splendor that is blurred by daily living and it's hardships.
Suddenly all appears divine in nature body, heart, limbs re coconnect to soul and realign throbbing secretly.
Its the shy magic
mystery of two in love interconnecting
wavelength entwined,
Same precise moment
As their paths loop. ~Jugalbandi~
Love seems infused
with it's own good fortune cookie baked surprise
in it's midst, closing gaps
as yet monotonous
dark clouds discipate.
Loving is an antivirus downloading new systems. Cleaning faulty links. Awakening emergent
awareness, puting action
to the eager vessel soul.
I fell in love before pcrdd
I do fall in love again
~Jugalbandi Rd~
Sharing past true love
and everything
since then greets me
With love
And so much more.
~~~~~~~~~~
By Karijinbba
All right reserved 2021
Jul 10, 2021
Jul 10, 2021 at 2:44 AM UTC
Hold not my sins against me,
For I am only human:
Scarred, broken, fallen.
Give me grace, and you'll have my faith;
I forgive and love you all the same.
Til next we meet, I pray instead of enmity,
It'll be in a sweet embrace.
But for all the tension I've caused--
I'm sorry for my mistakes.
Nov 14, 2019
Nov 14, 2019 at 12:08 PM UTC
who knew hello from the blue
could redden me so softly --
just steal three thoughts from you
and
I’m colored, gay and lofty
Sep 25, 2019
Sep 25, 2019 at 11:11 PM UTC
I want to send you every poem I ever wrote about you
I want to reconnect and regrow our roots together
I have so many things I want to say to you
But none of them seem worth your time
None of them seem worth the inevitable frustration when you stop responding
And suddenly here I am, wanting to text you
Wanting to tell you everything
Without knowing at all what to say
Aug 14, 2019
Aug 14, 2019 at 9:39 AM UTC
Maybe our past version
could never make it work.
Maybe they weren't meant to be.
They knew to little
and felt too much.
But now that we've picked up
our broken pieces
and rebuilt ourselves.
Reconnected with ourselves.
Changed, grown
and matured.
I wonder if it is meant to
be between these two
evolved souls.
Jul 25, 2019
Jul 25, 2019 at 3:46 AM UTC
Hello again
How are you?
Thanks for meeting me again
It feels like old times
Thanks for inviting me back into your life
Thanks for showing me your new self
I'm glad I was able to show you mine
I'm glad we were able to laugh like old times
When it was just you making fun of me
When it was me sending sarcasm your way
When we pushed all the bad demons away
To be dumb and young together
Before we diverge into the big bad world
Mar 25, 2019
Mar 25, 2019 at 12:09 PM UTC
i want to say so much and nothing at all
i want to say i miss you and just bawl
i want to say im sorry and fix it all
i want to pick up the phone and call
but i know i can't because
im afraid.. again... i will fall
Mar 15, 2019
Mar 15, 2019 at 3:39 PM UTC
I think of you a lot
Though not in the way I used to
Before
I'd be much more be preoccupied with sadness
Even about happy memories
But now it's a lot of anxiety instead
Anxiety about wanting to talk to you
But not knowing what to say
Deciding on the general idea
But getting hung up on the tone
And in every text I do send
I am rereading every individual word
Trying to ensure that I don't
Come across as too invested or
Overstep some invisible boundary
Because I don't trust that I can do that
Without hurting you or
Making you want to run away
And athough someday you wont be in my life
I'd rather it not start today
Mar 4, 2019
Mar 4, 2019 at 3:46 PM UTC
you texted me...
i thought you never would
i missed you
so much of me wanted this
but this isnt how i thought it would be
i cant help but feel
like you have something else in mind
i cant fall for you again , i made a deal
i cant keep hurting myself over you
i cant apologize
its not that i didn't like you , i did
but you never saw it
because it wasnt in the way your used to
so you had a fit like a little kid
i changed alot and im scared
i dont want you to hate the new me
that took so long to build
because no one else cared
im naturally a sad person
i write depressing poems
and i changed the way i dress
i want to be spontaneous
i forced myself to buy a thong
it sits in the back of my drawer
cause i still hate my body and it just feels wrong
but i'm determined to change that
to love ever curve and stretchmark
even when my stomach isnt flat
i dont know how long this is going to be
but im going to be the most authentic me
if you dont like the new me
then well you can leave again
but this time dont come back
just let me be
Mar 1, 2019
Mar 1, 2019 at 2:24 PM UTC
My heart broke 700 times
I'm glad you found your closure
It feels like it opened a cavity in my chest
A billowing hole ******* the air
From out of my lungs and
Away from my brain
Away from the sanity I've created
Where I thought I felt secure
But instead the infrastructure was so weak
That the simple memories you mentioned
Left a mark on me yet again
As my heavy heart weighs me to my bed
And I wish so desperately to be alone
I feel as though I'm dying
I must accept reality as it is
I know that all too well
That's why I agreed to meet
To see you
To see me
To see us
Now
We're different than we once were
And while I understand how and why
My soul mourns the moment
And I know I should just live it fully
Because so soon it'll pass
And once again
We'll be strangers on the street
One heart armored with reinforced steel
The other a sloppy mess of
Broken shards and what ifs
Rotting until it turns to ash
And new flowers bloom from its death
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 8:30 AM UTC
Here es my scape from the world
because it never stops…
Neither for you or anyone else
it does not matter the pain,
the injustice,
it doesn't matter the lost
the crime
the scream
no tears can stop this…
So just here I can find a place to reconnect with myself
and keep going
Here is my healing place…
Soon I become again in the human I love to be
the human that believes in love, life, happiness,
solidarity, loyalty…
And I can keep being different in a world
where so much people is worried about badness
about awful things…
And I can be one of those that brings hope to the rest
that helps healing, that maybe is just a grain of sand
but this grain of sand is doing something.
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 10:36 AM UTC
If you decide to come back,
With an open heart,
I'll keep my tools ready,
Performed will be an open-heart surgery,
Where an incision into your heart,
Will be made to remove the blockage,
Then love will flow unobstructed in your heart.
The various crap you read about love I meant,
That surely is the chief restricting factor,
It has cost you the pure true love,
It did cost you the caring nature of mine,
I've lost the will to live,
With my sad heart,
If you will rather not come.
My body has started revolting,
Pushed I am closer to oblivion,
Though my arms still long for you,
I have my second thoughts too,
Because if I die soon after marriage,
As is already most probable,
I don't want to widow you.
So I give you the modern window you seek,
The window to happiness & harmony,
Go ahead and grasp the opportunity,
Worry not about the blame,
Because I bear the responsibility,
Cost it would more lot of money,
I fear cancer for the expenses.
Fear I don't the cost,
There are few wellwishers,
Relatives and acquaintances,
Who might help me bear the cost,
Fear I do the ensuing loneliness,
**** me it would for sure,
I fear a quiet seclusion.
Because once I could bear it,
Twice it would rather **** me,
For I am not the immortal god,
Scared I'm as ending days ****
Beckon me does a lonely death,
Death which I no longer fret,
But loneliness is a threat.
For she failed to cease my heart once,
She might as well fail even twice,
Death has had old scores with me,
Averted she was the last time,
Coz I suspect my own body now,
My happiness destiny will mow,
Give me it will grief of loneliness.
Nov 15, 2016
Nov 15, 2016 at 10:20 AM UTC
You make my heart soar,
You make me feel sublime.
Oct 16, 2016
Oct 16, 2016 at 11:29 PM UTC
there's nothing better
than a warm embrace after
the coldest silence
Jul 8, 2016
Jul 8, 2016 at 7:01 PM UTC
You used to be a safe haven
A place to nestle against your warmth and love.
Before you turned craven,
And rejected everything I offered with a brusque shove.
You are now my unsafe haven
Every word you speak you twist and tangle
Your meaning like the feathers of a raven
And the sweet memories are now seen from a different angle
Look what you have lost my darling!
My love, my trust, my admiration.
Every time we speak my inner animal is snarling.
Gnashing at the veneer draped thinly over your oration.
The instinct to fight, and the instinct to surrender to your lies collide
One animal baring teeth and readying for our witty battle
The other slinking toward you, her will to hurt you died.
But behind every sweet word I hear the deceit rattle.
You play the game like no one I have ever known
A true master, an ace at pleasures of the now
But I no longer wish to play, all the cards I have I've shown
So keep your prize, I no longer want your broken vow.
You are full of danger and desire
Of pain and hate and lies
I truly don't think you want to be a liar
But in the end it is always me who tries.
Nov 15, 2015
Nov 15, 2015 at 6:52 PM UTC
Jealousy is a loaded gun,
And you made each of their names
Bullets in my chamber.
The end of the barrel
Kisses me softly,
Between the eyes,
Where you used to.
And as you twirl them all round in a Russian Roulette
My finger quivers over the trigger.
Sweat makes it impossible to grip
And thinking back makes it
Impossible
To think forward...
What next?
You cocked it,
The gun,
So I'm ready to go.
I think...
Until, you reach out and try to save me.
Your hand touching mine
Losens my grip on the gun,
My finger becomes limp and I come back to life as
Your promises disarm me,
Your reassurance unloads the gun and
The bullets become evanescent in your kiss.
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 6, 2015 at 1:04 AM UTC