#realization
Mama was right,
It was the idiot brick all along;
The one, who would spend hours,
counting stars;
Refuses to count the hours,
he obliviously blurs.
Mindless zombie scavenges for minutes of glee,
Ignorant of the days of dismay it compounds;
He names a soulless box his own,
While his own soul goes adrift,
into the unknown.
Scared to think,
Doesn't even spare a blink;
Hours go fast in the dark
Alone with a neon link
Watching the world right in front of him shrink.
Boggled by the endless FOMO trends,
Unaware of the things he's truly missing out on;
He never wakes to watch the break of dawn,
Or stops to rest upon a mountain cliff.
Funny that he cares about some digital aliens,
While his family is left in neglect;
The block of metal that promised him the world,
Has stripped him of all that he'd connect.
A life unlived, a quiet, tragic trick,
Trading the universe,
All for an idiot brick?
May 23
May 23, 2026 at 5:20 AM UTC
Everyone carries a flawless disguise.
whispering softly that no mask exists.
Sometimes we mock anyone in virtual world,
Yet we fear the hands that might unmask us.
What if things went to an accident that will link to the brain?
Was it a chance to break the mask beneath?
would it shatter whole the hidden face underneath?
It is a pathetic thing. Ugly. Bare.
The lines on our faces will tell, of course.
confessing what the lips could never say.
May 19
May 19, 2026 at 8:28 AM UTC
i get enough of the understanding
for how much i can go without carrying anything related to my past
the realization of how would my future imitate the present?
May 17
May 17, 2026 at 11:04 AM UTC
No one wants to hear about the fist fight I had with Jesus.
So much violence, the only honest reflection on our human condition .
The miracle.
I’m not saying I’m blameless, but one or more of us may have been a ***** fighter.
In all fairness he pulled MY hair first.
With all that pressure to perform and sexual repression ,
no wonder he had so much
pent up rage
and frustration.
No one
father, son, father as son
holy ghost, pope Saint ..
No one should spend that much time on a donkey in the 114 degree desert.
I thought he knew John “ the Baptist “ was a ***
Always rode behind so he could watch the donkey’s ***** swaying back and forth the whole trip.
I mean anyone that spends that much time and effort
to go hang out with dirty old lonely hermits that live in caves ?
He didn’t like the fact he made himself
to end up
as a zombie jew,
Forcing himself through delivery to know himself dying ugly .
The elegance of divinity.
but he didn’t have to kick me in the nuts.
Especially more than once.
“You ‘re the first of many” he spat
through ****** teeth and crocodile tears.
Apr 30
Apr 30, 2026 at 1:05 AM UTC
When I first tasted Molly
I thought
"Certainly, this? This is what happiness is."
And I said it aloud to a friend of mine.
Who now, looking back, did not take it in kind.
For how could happiness come packaged in a pill?
She was my one time lover,
A crystalline thrill.
Up and under my tongue, she was placed.
Every paranoia in my mind
Hoping
She wasn't laced.
And for a good 4 to 5 hours,
All my troubles seemed displaced.
But happiness,
Pure Happiness
It does not come in a pill.
It is sober coffee dates,
and laughter,
An innocent thrill.
Apr 24
Apr 24, 2026 at 4:56 AM UTC
The laughter reverberating through me,
the feel of a genuine smile tiring my face.
That was after my laughter died,
when my smile never reached my eyes.
Loving myself was all but lies.
Then realizing I can do things for myself
Making me smile and say
the world can burn,
And I'll breathe in the flames
Apr 23
Apr 23, 2026 at 9:17 AM UTC
I never understood
Why people hate change
They want things to stay the same
A life constant tame
Yet change offers a new horizon to behold
Out with the safe, the constant, the old
Be careful not to throw out the baby
With the bathwater knowledge for-told
The one constant thing
In life is change
You can live with
Certainty, believing
Your thoughts
Are correct and true
And that’s all you knew
You don’t know what you know
Until you realize
The parameters of understanding
Your comfort zone
You don’t know
What you don’t know
Until you realize
You don’t know it
And then, in fact,
Through realization not
Lack of procrastination lightbulb ON
Epiphany moment, YOU KNOW IT!
The dichotomy of knowledge
Boggles the mind
Constant change, you will find
pandora’s box Until the end of time
I never understood Why people hate change
They like things comfortable Not rearranged
Something new can be strange
But isn’t that the name of the game?
FOOTNOTES
I’m trying to identify all of my poetry. I want to have an example of each different type. These
Notes are for quick identification and compiling.
A four line stanza is a poem, called a quatrain
By definition, it is exactly 4 lines
Often following a specific rhyme scheme
not limited to AABB, ABAB, ABBA, ABCA
I encourage you to
listen to the music
FIRST (Loudly)
Then read the poem
Inspired Songs
1)Here we go round in circles 1972
By Billy Preston
2) Playground in my mind 1972
By Clint Holmes
3) A spoonful of sugar 1964
By Julie Andrews (Mary Poppins)
Fun Fact, the song was inspired by the polio vaccine administered on a sugar cube during the 1960s
“A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down in the most delightful way”
Apr 21
Apr 21, 2026 at 3:06 PM UTC
It wasn’t all at once —
it never is.
Love doesn’t crash in like thunder,
it hums softly,
waiting for you to notice.
Maybe it began that night,
backstage at the Cabaret,
when your head rested in my lap
and I forgot how to breathe.
You laughed at something small,
and I laughed too,
trying to hide how my hands shook.
Something in me whispered,
oh.
And I’ve been listening to that whisper ever since.
It came back again at the choir concert —
you, bent close,
dabbing glitter near my eyes.
You said, hold still,
and I did,
because if I moved,
I might’ve leaned forward
just to feel you nearer.
The world blurred around us,
and I blamed pre-concert stress
for how unsteady I felt.
Then Halloween —
you, stunning in costume,
smiling beneath streetlights.
We held hands for hours,
pretending it was just for fun,
but I memorized the weight of it,
the warmth of your palm
pressing into mine like a promise
we’d never speak aloud.
And maybe that was it —
not one grand moment,
but a thousand quiet ones
that stitched themselves together
into something I couldn’t name.
Until one day,
I looked at you
and realized
I’d already fallen.
Mar 30
Mar 30, 2026 at 8:06 PM UTC
All my life I’ve been kept in a shell.
A shell full of rainbows and lollipops.
But now I’m seeing the mud and the sacrifice.
I wish things were different.
Mar 23
Mar 23, 2026 at 4:45 PM UTC
It was all fine.
I lived in my little
cardboard box
and I ate what I got
from the trash.
It was all fine
until that stranger
knelt down
and gave me
a banknote.
"Go buy some food",
he said.
"It'll help you".
Then I realized.
It struck me
like lightning
and unraveled my mind
like a tornado.
Then, for the first time
in years,
I cried.
Mar 21
Mar 21, 2026 at 12:32 PM UTC
Silence and Darkness -
If silence, at all times,
and wherever needle points,
had consumed the voice,
what a world it would be...
If darkness, all the ways,
of all the years, all the days,
had been scattered across,
what a world it would be...
nor light, neither noise, no worries indeed,
neither would there be left any need,
be it betrayal by the eyes,
or ears listening to the lies.
nor does the one that respires,
differ from the one, that expires.
If each drop of a rain,
and of sand every grain,
were in silence, immersed,
and in darkness, dispersed,
what a world would it be...
Noise and Light -
ever since I had first seen,
had I been hearing, ever since,
nor a day, neither night did I,
un-bothered by, ever let it fly.
I remained glaring, back at the light,
remained yelling at noise, did I,
remained I, closing ears and eyes, shut tight,
caged in my own despise, was I,
until once I, did realise the fact,
had I never once, ever thought of that,
it was the very noise, of the cacophonies,
and it was that very blinding light,
which had cradled my ears, with melodies,
and painted pictures for my sight,
which poured the essences,
and made me alive,
which guided my senses,
and kept me alive.
Mar 7
Mar 7, 2026 at 8:53 PM UTC
Somewhere deep beneath the surface
I know that I deserve this
Im too far gone to save
Please
Don't waste your time on me
Wandering
Aimlessly to an unmarked grave
So tired of all the same things
Separate from sanctuary
That feeling dead and buried
Im so afraid to face myself
Turning into somebody else
I know you dont recognize these cold dead eyes
Ive lost the light inside
Slowly we're cascading
My soul is suffocating
Im breaking
Why does it have to be this way?
Forsaken
The only thing I've ever loved
Im faking
A silhouette of who i was.
Im an imposter
Failing to find peace
Trying but it seems
I might be
Falling farther
I may not come back from this
I barely ******* exist
Im an empty imposter
I cannot pretend
I feel anything real
I am destined to suffer in silence As we cascade
Its overwhelming
The urge i have to stay if I could find a way to coexist in misery
I know im not alone
But nowhere feels like home
With Noone to hold
I shut out the world
With Emotions of stone
Is it safe to say Im not okay?
Am I to blame?
Searching endlessly for something hidden inside me.
Its over now and I cant sleep
She's buried deep haunting my dreams
I feel her touch and It repeats
Releasing me from shadows chasms deep
I can feel
My heart start beating
This moment fleeting
Slowly we're cascading
Slowly we're cascading
My soul is suffocating
Im breaking
Why does it have to be this way?
Forsaken
The only thing I've ever loved
Im faking
A silhouette of who you lost
Slowly
Im suffocating
Over and over your watching me fading
Feels like my soul
Is just wasting away
Oh how were quickly cascading
You cant recognize the man behind these dead and bitter eyes
Im a ghost inside
Im the ghost thats lives inside in own skin
Your the reason I am lost inside my own head
Feb 28
Feb 28, 2026 at 2:18 PM UTC
cat gut, dried and twisted, sang out,
stretched and braided, worked by the hands of a master.
A mold formed its shape
released from the plaster.
They came, as do we all, from the earth and the rain,
the sun,
or
our .. pain
the origins of soft, meaningful refrain.
The echoes that remain.
recalled and loved by us all
without much
strain.
The origins oft considered now insane
those creatures whose lives were lost,
or even worse,
were
used
or slain.
The turtle, for its shell, used as a pick
not too thin, not too thick.
The human blood and ash put to wick,
the scholar’s ink
Don't dry too quick
Enemies skin stretched over the head of drums,
the sound of fire and bent wood as it thrums.
The pain it takes back to each creature ,
the creators.
The destroyers.
callused finger caresses banged thumb.
cries are carried within it,
our grief
it helps us numb.
We all howl still under the moon’s glow,
hearing each other and our connection.
Wandering
in what direction. ?
We feel what we feel,
but how do we know what we know?
The candle, made of discarded fat.
The vellum, made of less than that.
The strings of a bull, an ox, or a cat
tones that shiver, shrill or fat.
The thoughts and ideas, blood and lust,
capture
take us to certainty,
or lead us to
rapture.
The potatoes boiled, the insect crushed,
but once they toiled.
The lacquers and enamels and oils
we crush from the life of plants and leaves,
reminding us of the one
for whom
we still grieve.
The worst of lies:
that we are separated from this world.
We are one with it,
and we will share its fate,
its riches, its seasons,
its spoils.
From whence does brilliance come?
A desire, a sleepless night, an explosion.
The life that once lived sings back to us through the ages,
more than it lived,
more than what it had
to give.
We hear the tree of Stradivariuses' choosing
fight and cheat to have it in our hands.
Search far and wide,
for every one,
in every recess,
in every land.
Da Vinci, strokes of egg and wash,
make a material not often spoken of—gouache.
We are looking at an egg,
illuminated
by dried fat and beeswax.
We are inspired by a creature’s skin,
flayed
and beaten to a pulp,
paper-thin.
We are amazed by the ideas,
and inspired by the truth
within.
Do we see its beginning in us,
or our end?
What do we use?
For what we give back
What do we gain and what do we lack?
The energy
to grow
to achieve
to believe
to communicate.
Elucidate.
Try and relate
We ****
we suffer our art.
Still we feel our worlds apart.
Give back to me the howls of the alley cat
the munch of teeth in the endless grass
I'll take all that.
The rhythm of the river
the blood
the stone
the flesh
the bone.
But Alas
I will leave this world as I came
alone.
Feb 27
Feb 27, 2026 at 5:54 PM UTC
Which is thicker
The blood, or the wine
It did not matter
I swallowed them the same
They washed through me
The chalice
The page
The knife
I cupped my hands and drank
Until there was no more
Driven to the river
No stranger to thirst
But the water had forgotten to stay
On the rocks, I found
A cup
Some words
My hand
Feb 25
Feb 25, 2026 at 11:51 PM UTC
I see the moment in front of me
like a tempting sweet.
And I want it.
I want it so bad
I want it more than anything I’ve ever had.
Clarity.
That’s what they call it,
but for me, it’s much more.
For me, it’s a mindset;
something I want for eternity.
Alas, it leaves.
And like a widow, I grieve.
The ink on paper evaporates,
turning it back to white.
And that’s when I wish I could scream into the void-
call to Niflheim to come devour me.
But I can’t.
Because that’s when I’m hit with my greatest gift:
my clarity.
It makes a rift inside my mind
and speaks in a way I can’t communicate.
But it won’t stay.
I know it.
It’s the forgotten Juliet and I’m the Romeo.
And I know my love for it won’t ever fade,
so I persevere...
hoping clarity will greet me again one day.
Feb 19
Feb 19, 2026 at 8:30 AM UTC
Now I have realized
I must **** that bouquet of regret
That blooms in my heart.
How can I keep you with me
While causing you hurt?
Now I must let you go,
I shouldn't bind you with my love.
I’m setting you free; now you can move on.
Never come back here again,
More than you, your memories hurt.
I’m drowning deep inside the past,
I’ll be living this life while these memories last.
I hide my tears in the rain;
I hide my inner regret and pain.
My life is like a dark night,
Filled with darkness and no light.
Your absence makes me cry and go mad;
In the silence, I am so sad.
So now I am moving my feet,
To never let our story repeat.
Feb 15
Feb 15, 2026 at 6:26 AM UTC
bodies, naked, unfurled?
flesh, skin, bones,
marbled eyes, pain, screams,
blinding sand, spread across the collarbone.
smiling faces, licking lips,
ecstasy dancing with conviction
bills, paper bills mostly, thrown
across the turquoise floor.
bed sheets speak volumes,
the notes differ in light, colors and timezone.
the morning light tiptoes in,
the bags are already packed,
the passport, an omega speedmaster, a bunch of chnargers,
all arranged neatly on the mahogany table.
the bills are handed to the concierge,
the dress is ironed, checkout is at 11am.
he leaves at 10.50am in the morning.
the cleaners tell her to move out fast.
the absence is stronger than the presence.
he is waiting in line for a taxi,
and suddenly there is only a single soul in the room.
there was always a single soul in the room.
the girl arranges the ends of her hair neatly,
she puts on her blush and cherry red lipstick.
there wasn't really two souls in the room.
it was always one. the other was just a silhoutee.
she realises this as she sees brown scratch marks on her neck,
the blood dried out.
her feet hurt, is it a splinter?
she looks for splinters there is none.
his soul hasn't left her body,
but her body has left her soul.
Feb 8
Feb 8, 2026 at 3:42 AM UTC
my heart:
create/to create/arts/in all their forms and glory/language/to speak in the tongue you inherited from your mother/to speak to the dead/stars/to read them out loud like they are an open book/smell poetry in flowers and carcasses/to create/to influence/math/the bridge between art and science/a tortured poet/an astrologer/a mathematician/but i will be known/but i can’t put myself out there/but i have to/my heart lives for this.
my head:
go for it/but are you sure/they will scrutinize you like a forensic subject/i know but you can’t hold me back like this every time/my heart howls to change but you resist to change/i’m just keeping you safe because this world is not where you perform/but i only have this one life/let me get there/i can’t do it on my own/please.
Jan 29
Jan 29, 2026 at 4:18 AM UTC
See behind the curtain the Wizard of Oz
Learn the truth and why the cause
Looking for solace among the insane
Through Lawlessness in extreme pain
They **** and pillage our land
Surprisingly, nobody stood up, took a stand
No protest commotion riots out of hand
Singing godly hymns without a band
The monster grooms growing nature of the beast
Twisted wicked gobbles the littlest least evil feasts
“Stab it with your stealing knife,
but you just can’t **** the beast”
Making mountains out of a mole hill
Choosing the Red or Blue pill
You reap what you sew all exposed
I’ll take one of these and two of those
Death and destruction is all they know
Earthquakes asteroids plague and fire a glow
Realization rationale to spare
Chem trails, poisoning our air
Poisons in our drinking water
A tall glass to mother, father, brother, daughter
Toxic poison in our food
Unexplainable sickness, changes the mood
Medications designed to keep us sick
It’s a trillion dollar business sleight-of-hand trick
We buy on credit taxed to the hilt
Finger on the scale, inevitable tilt
They do all of this without any shred of guilt
Unable to win a reasonable dispute
All the scams perpetuated on our land
Exposed The ***** tricks and under hand
Radiation chemicals, toxic air exspand
Slaves to the mediocrity no reciprocity
Confiscated land in the name of eminent domain
Fight back they’ll assassinate your name
Call you crazy insane until nothing of yours remain
How to control fires they won’t contain
Rigged system, unattainable permits to start again
Scorched land, the state picks up properties
for pennies on the dollar deaf ear to the holler
The poor middle class and rich move into squalor
Inflation of the Almighty dollar
Wealthy can afford to move away and build a new
Middle class broke don’t know what to do.
the fires set on purpose still burning
The deep state’s hidden agenda still churning
Fires, earthquake, flooding, plague
No help in Sight bureaucrats vague
Volcanoes erupting, not on the news
Three minute sound bite set to snooze
Quickly moving on to the next front page news
Devastating earthquakes roll over snooze
There’s nothing man can do. This is by design.
Evil’s death song Crescendo increases overtime
The truth hidden in plane Sight
Christians rise up for the ultimate fight
Kick a man when they are down
Hunted enemies of their cities and towns
They want to create a police state in every
15 minute cities 28 point the real ID
Limit movement, losing control for all to see
Government gives you money
yet tells you how it can be spent
Loaf of bread oh you’re overweight no sweet for you. If you misbehave try to speak up, they will take your money your bicycle ability to get around what is left what is found in a government town
The truth is all coming out without a doubt
What they used to call conspiracy theorist
Is now hidden reality brought to light
Still no accountability for those in power
It was hidden until the statute of limitations came into affect that moment that hour. I don’t believe there should be a statute of limitation on a coup.
When a government tries to take over me and you.
Russia, Russia, hoax bad jokes
Hunter Biden‘s laptop ******* in the White House
So many people came into our country illegally we will fall from within that’s when the real fire sale begins man and their
Society is going humanity is calling
Silence like a Cancer grows
Something wicked this way comes
Welcome to the doldrums look around it’s here
We have spent a lifetime carrying on our shoulder
The insurmountable boulder
Weakening our back, weak hear a crack
In societies framework, realization face slap
Are you awake yet?
Jan 8
Jan 8, 2026 at 11:32 AM UTC
Sometimes I wonder
if my mind were to rumble
like thunder, and then a thought sparked like lightning,
and then it illuminated what was hiding.
A realization hits me just as quickly,
travelling at the universe's speed limit,
that I am not who I say I am,
but the sum of all I've accepted to allow me to change.
Then how would I communicate
to another soul, that I think
could resonate with this realization the same?
Sometimes my words fall short.
I over explain or under.
It feels like the same feeling of helplessness
when you're startled by the thunder.
And I sincerely think:
the joy of clarity is in spreading it.
But how would I be able to teach
if I'm not even worthy nor capable of sharing it?
Jan 8
Jan 8, 2026 at 10:47 AM UTC
The tension in this room so thick you could slice it
Serve cut up pieces on bread
Truth hard to swallow
Sloshes inside my stomach
Like a heavy anchor made of lead
Discomfort burns body in all the wrong places
Can't help but squirm under your gaze
Attempting to navigate corridors of your mind
Somehow I'm always lost within the maze
Sitting silently in the aftermath amidst wreckage
Of a war waged without raising one fist
Remembering what beauty once lingered long ago
Over years steadily dispersed into the mist
Into dimming twilight we are diving headfirst
Deciding to dismiss residual fear
Not absence longed for but something else entirely
Can't place my finger on what hunger's looming near
Sometimes so loud I can't hear any noise
Only piercing quiet of a craving unknown
Intricate
Precise measurements
Indicate enigma has grown
Not having the answer within reach
Gradually driving me insane
Clarity
Sharp epiphany required
To put an end to perplexity in brain
Pause with me
Lend me some solace
Warm each tired old bone
Air inhaled dense with apprehension
Pervading like cheap cologne
Meaning discovered in connecting of flesh
Finally arriving like delayed flight
Sensibilities dance barefoot
Twirling beneath surface
For a moment allowing pupils to glimpse a ray of light
With you close remaining doubt evaporates
Emotion resurges
Love wholly honest and strong
Here in the present
Two heart's rhythm in unison
Realizing that is all I've wished for all along
Dec 13, 2025
Dec 13, 2025 at 11:00 PM UTC
when all the tears were cried
all the petty messages sent
all the pictures deleted
all the revenge plans erased,
i am left in your wake, wondering what went wrong.
was i not enough?
was i too much?
youre narcissistic, youre angry, youre controlling
all too familiar
youre just like my father
the realization is a punch in the face.
the one thing i swore to avoid at all costs
oh how often i laughed at my mom for falling for an *******
yet here i was
falling in love with you
Dec 10, 2025
Dec 10, 2025 at 5:56 PM UTC
It never begins
with the moment itself—
people think it does,
but really it starts
with that slow, heavy ache
curling through my thoughts,
a storm swelling beneath my ribs
with no name,
no edges,
just pressure
building and building
until I can’t tell
where the pain ends
and I begin.
I try to breathe through it,
try to talk myself down,
try every “healthy” thing
I’ve been told to do—
but it all feels like trying
to hold back an ocean
with trembling hands.
The emotions pile up too fast:
fear on top of grief,
panic tangled with numbness,
sadness humming under everything,
and the noise gets so loud
I can barely hear myself think.
And somewhere in that chaos,
my mind drifts —
not choosing,
not deciding,
just slipping into a quiet,
dangerous kind of autopilot.
Reaching for relief
without noticing
what I’m reaching with.
It’s not that I want this.
God, I don’t.
I don’t want this to be
the way I cope,
the way I breathe,
the way I survive the nights
when the storm refuses to settle.
I just want
a different kind of pain —
one that makes sense,
one I can point to,
one that answers back
instead of echoing endlessly
through my chest.
And then—
like waking up too fast—
I see the red on my hands,
bright and jarring,
like a warning light
I didn’t see flick on
until it was too late.
For a heartbeat
I freeze.
Everything in me stops—
the thoughts, the panic,
even the storm—
and the horror rises sharp and sudden:
I didn’t realize.
I didn’t mean this.
How did I get here again?
The relief I felt
just moments before
tastes like guilt now,
like fear,
like shame settling heavy
in the back of my throat.
I hate that it works.
I hate that it quiets the noise
when nothing else does.
I hate that in the darkest moments
it feels like the only door
that opens
when the walls start closing in.
But I want a different way.
I want to breathe
without breaking.
I want to feel
without hurting.
I want to soothe the storm
without sacrificing
pieces of my flesh
just to get one moment
of quiet.
I’m trying—
even when it doesn’t look like it,
even when I stumble
into old patterns,
even when the storm
pulls me under again.
I don’t want this
to be my only way out.
I just haven’t found
another way
that works
yet.
But I’m still searching.
Still reaching.
Still hoping
there’s a softer kind of relief
waiting for me
somewhere I haven’t learned
to look.
Dec 8, 2025
Dec 8, 2025 at 9:24 PM UTC
Yesterday's Promise
Can be today's destiny,
Can be a figment of
your imagination or
A true fantasy,
Something of a dream
turned into a true reality,
Can you tell one from the other,
Just observe, focus and see
Are you who you say you are??
Or is it make believe???
Am I seeing things correctly,
Or is just little ole me???
Just rub the sleep from eyes,
No its not a big surprise,
Yesterday's Promise Can be your fate,
You just have to come to realize
B.R.
Date: 11/30/2025
Nov 30, 2025
Nov 30, 2025 at 10:25 PM UTC