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#qwoc
Today someone asked ‘Did she love you’. Because my love for her was stolen A brush of hands, of fingers tangled together but always in the dark A press of lips to her collarbones, her cheeks, her neck but never her lips It was bruised shoulders and bruised egos, Lost declarations and lost promises. It was the words I whispered in her ear while my hands danced across her ribs Or the words requested in the deep of the night when sleep was to far and nightmares not far enough. It was second glances and curious friends And stretches of silence and hushed arguments in the vacant corners of rooms. She stole my “I love you"s and stitched them into her skin like armor. And then she wore her armor to kiss other girls in the dark and to press promises into their skin, To hold them the way I held her, To love them the way I thought I’d loved her. I thought I could protect myself from the pain, But when I looked, I’d found that I’d given all my armor away. Today someone asked ‘Did she love you’
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Jul 15, 2018
Jul 15, 2018 at 11:55 PM UTC
Did She Love You
Kissing girls is for white girls with slim hips and delicate features whose reputation cannot be varnished by a few quick pecks in the dark. She said: loving women is for white girls because they all grow out of it except the foolish ones with troubled families and fathers that never stuck around. But my skin was too dark and my family image too well crafted to justify wanting to mess around with girls that would leave me for future husbands.
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Jul 15, 2018
Jul 15, 2018 at 11:34 PM UTC
For White Girls
I fix my tea before I dream The herbs swirl in my subconscious A ritual warm and full of steam I wake knowing, “I want this.” I read someone else’s words before I sleep Losing myself to a story A healthy escape that I’ll keep up To bide off darkness and worry. I wash my face before I slumber Washing away the day Tomorrow any anxiety I may encumber Must in the future stay. I pen my thoughts to the night’s sound Striking the ink to the rhythm of my thoughts Meanwhile fear and curiosity abound I must momentarily quell my haves and have nots.
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Jun 21, 2017
Jun 21, 2017 at 4:30 PM UTC
Ritual
Dismantle your convictions Break them beyond recognition Into the smallest parts imaginable For those fragments of atoms Build us up.
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Jun 21, 2017
Jun 21, 2017 at 4:28 PM UTC
Breaking, Building
The trails of burning Palo Santo cleanse me Of all that I no longer need But my soul’s light reflects off the smoke Cobwebs of curiosity create clouds Through which I cannot see —My ancestors remind me to rely not on sight, but feeling
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Jun 21, 2017
Jun 21, 2017 at 4:20 PM UTC
Smoke, Fog, and Haze