#poo
If your mind is full
with an abundance of ****
plant some good thought seeds
May 24, 2021
May 24, 2021 at 8:47 AM UTC
gags as lifts shoe
full aroma
of hidden present
May 8, 2020
May 8, 2020 at 5:02 AM UTC
Dogs have habits, you bet they do.
They run and play, then eat and poo.
They Sleep all day, zoom, zoom all night.
They bark and bark, at something in sight.
They wait at the window or wait by the door.
To say hello to their people with eyes we adore.
Let's go for walk, they seem to be saying.
Really, oh really, that's my kind of playing!
They love without boundaries, they give the same way.
They are really true family and never, never betray.
Without them we are lost, so much that it hurts.
Pay attention to their habits, life with them, JUST WORKS.
Brian Hill - 2019#42
Feb 22, 2019
Feb 22, 2019 at 10:14 AM UTC
It wasn't the best birthday,
Not that 39 is exciting anyway,
But I wasn't quite prepared
For what my brain threw my way today
What is even the point?
In turning 39?
Next year Clare and I are going to Ethiopia
- to sneakily go back in time ;)
38 was old enough
But still not quite that bad
39 is a lot more daunting
For there are no more "30's" to be had
But a few days ago I met a friend
Who just turned 70 last week
What was even more shocking
- she is still much fitter than me!
Her grandson is now 17
I once taught him to bake cakes
Back when I shared her house
Duncan was at primary school for goodness sake!
I don't know if Clare feels the same
About this weird age to become
Or whether as some say its just a number
My 70yr old friends are forever young
I have so much admiration for Clare
With her determination to succeed,
She does make me feel younger
Although turning 39 is still **** - it must be agreed :/
But I was determined to make the best
Of the last year beginning with "3"
Although I dramatically failed
Got dressed, panicked, then ate grapes until tea...
I did let down Teresa
I admire her so much too
We were supposed to eat cake
And how I miss our conversations about poo..
But here I still am
Dressed for both Africa and the North Pole
Required a walking pole to get to the pub
With snow turned to ice - it wouldn't be pretty to fall...
But I finished my day with a whisky
A wee dram to still being 30 something
A single malt Aberlour came to my rescue
To compliment the huge amount of Diazepam
I shall try again tomorrow
Looking forward to seeing Carryn again
So I officially cancelled my birthday
And tomorrow I will try again
But my goodness how Im so grateful
To some very special friends
Here in Aberdeen,
Mary and Glyn are those friends
My brain tortures me frequently
And today we had so many plans
They all went down the toilet
Quite literally (!) but gladly from the right end..
So generous are my adopted family
I can never be grateful enough
For putting up with my panic
Understanding my brain says its "had enough"
It might have been a ****** birthday
But I don't know where i'd have been
If it were not for Glyn and Mary
And their endless compassion and understanding.
To all my friends - sorry for being "weird", and I really do appreciate all your kindness with all my heart.. ❤️
Jan 29, 2019
Jan 29, 2019 at 7:03 PM UTC
Is it possible too **** and ***
everyplace on everything?
Aug 30, 2018
Aug 30, 2018 at 10:36 AM UTC
I had constipation,
I took a laxative,
I could not sleep,
I tossed and turned,
Wife gave me sleeping pill.
You guess what happened.
May 8, 2018
May 8, 2018 at 2:45 PM UTC
It drains down my pants,
Issues without a warning,
My diarrhoea.
May 7, 2018
May 7, 2018 at 8:14 PM UTC
Ahh the morning springs eternal
the glorious light through cedar trees
out onto the lanai, my coffee comes with me
The portal slides open wide
my bare feet stepping into the light
right away, I could tell, something wasn't right
Fore there I am, bliss fleeting from my face
one foot out the door, squishing neath my toes
the squirrels left me a present, wafting
too my nose
Jan 30, 2018
Jan 30, 2018 at 8:05 AM UTC
Both are similar,
Both have content matter,
Both save hassles,
One in communicating,
The other from washing,
Both have to be checked often,
What is going to happen,
One to see what is up,
The other to check what is the pile up.
What are they, "Sirs."
They are Whats app and pampers.
Dec 19, 2017
Dec 19, 2017 at 3:25 PM UTC
I need time, time
too, relieve my behind
and I need some TP
to wipe me clean
My mamma said, "you can't hurry poo"
No, you'll just have too wait
trust in your bowels
no matter, how long it takes
Now break!
How many times, must they knock
before they let me be, droppin these rocks
Right now the only thing that keeps me hanging on
stressing and straining, until their gone
My mamma said, "you can't hurry poo"
No, you'll just have too wait
trust in your bowels
no matter, how long it takes
Dec 15, 2017
Dec 15, 2017 at 11:36 AM UTC
two ladies
dressed to ****
give me a shiver
give me a thrill
they kiss each other
their mouths pink and bright
tender and cruel
a kiss then a bite
******* brush soft
vulva's get wet
hands ***** *******
drools like a pet
******* explode
spasms and creams
hands touching thighs
sizzling dreams
oh they love
all candy and ***
shadowed eyes
lips like ***
ones a slave
the other her queen
then they switch
kiss and scream
its hotter then hot
a burning **** sun
melting butter slits
a tempest of fun
doing the rumba
pretty dance feet
swaying hips
gawd its sweet
lovely behinds
moving in place
what i want always
is ***** mouth face*
Nov 17, 2017
Nov 17, 2017 at 4:39 PM UTC
I took it to the Psychic
she told me, it, knew all
I took it to the Psychic
she lives, just down, the hall
She examined and she prodded
under a ventilated hood
She prodded and poked away
and told me, it was good
She told me I was destined
the greatest poet, I will be
She told me I was destined
then she flung my poo, at me
Oct 26, 2017
Oct 26, 2017 at 9:42 AM UTC
Well what can I say, he says I'm an ****
I just told him he was just full of air..
But we were the closest of friends and were
always found close together like pees in a pod.
*"So what's the plan for today windy,
"We just going to gas? or we just breathing in silence?*
**"I thought you were pulling the other cheek,
But all that comes out of you is crap Hahaha.....**
They were always getting each other in trouble with
one thing or another, if it wasn't **** holding wind in,
it was **** whispering in a lift. But not so silently,
more like a tiny trumpet going off for moments at a time.
There was one time were **** was letting off as usual,
but he let just a little too much out, and in that moment
he told ****
*"That was close, I was one **** away from a poo,*
**** couldn't contain himself and amusement turned
to horror as laughter had loosened both there grips.
And now Mr Poo who usually went diving in
the porcelain pools was now frequenting upon both.
I think I'm going to be sick said **** **** laughted and
then another friend of Poo's joined the party, cleanliness
was obsolete, now as it was like a food fight in close quarters.
Poo slipped out to freedom down the trouser leg and "SPLAT,
**** and **** stunned by poo's lack of grace. *"Could have
stayed for a while,* But **** conceded that he would have
just talked crap, like he did every time he popped out
to see his friends.
Well what could be said, a wet wipe, and **** forgot poo
had even been there. But his odour still lingered gently on.
**** was gassing on and **** clenched so not to
expel to much laughter.. especially in enclosed areas.
**** was just gassing, this duo were always going
be the closest of friends.
Sep 8, 2017
Sep 8, 2017 at 11:36 AM UTC
Then it must be strong and true
For love is all that matters
That is unless you need a poo.
Oct 31, 2015
Oct 31, 2015 at 8:11 AM UTC
i am compelled to write poetry
in much the same way
as i am compelled by my
bowel movements:
the process, experience, and results
are pretty much no different for me.
Sep 1, 2015
Sep 1, 2015 at 10:36 AM UTC
I hate the cold, I hate the snow
I hate these lights that flash and glow,
I hate mince pies they taste to sweet.
I hate the fact i gain the weight as
There is to much to eat.
I hate to diet I like the way I am.
I hate carollers that cant even sing,
I hate the thought of happiness and joy.
I hate the fact that 50,s films are played
On Tv is it me or do they just bore.
I hate that i have no chimney.
I hate the reindeer pooing on my welcome
Mat, doesn,t santa know how to clear up
His mess instead of me.
I hate the season but the cold one the
Most I hate that Christmas isnt in the
Summer when I tan and enjoy it the most.
I hate lots of things its clear to see,
But i do love my presents that santa leaves
Wrapped under my Christmas tree.
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 15, 2015 at 5:58 AM UTC
*In mouth, put-
choo-choo kazoo chomp chomp YUM!
Mmmm MMMMMMmmm.
Whosagoodbaby!?
Whosagoodbaby!?*
The infant hears,
wondering if all adults talk this way,
chuckling to himself, the ridiculousness tickling his vibrating mind
looking on at the goofy giant babbling gibberish
who seems oddly ecstatic
to feed colorful mush.
The child contemplates the intricacies of communicating
the smelly in his shorts.
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 3:14 PM UTC
I poo how 'bout you?
Are you someone that poos too?
Life is but a flush
Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 8:59 AM UTC
I saw pig wearing white fronts
I looked
Perplexed,
Confused,
Laughter,
Then came out,
*"Never wear white, with an **** like that"*
Trotters to small to wipe,
"Skids bigger than the grand canyon"
Brown with white, I
Gagged,
Heaved,
Smelling,
Like crap, I just looked as it went
Past, I started to follow as it
Trotted along, It stopped turned
"Growling at me"
Woof Woof GGrrrrr...
"Ok its not just me? don't pigs OINK"
I stared open mouthed, fingers in ears
Making sure no wax had altered the sound,
"Did you just bark and growl at me"
"Ok I'm now talking to a barking pig"
It stared for a moment
Me at it , it at me
Then it clucked
Cluck,
Cluck,
Cluck,
Front trotters flapping wildly in the air,
And then quiet
From the white which turned more brown
Now fell an egg not white
You can guess what dropped upon the floor,
Shaped like an egg, but smelt rotten to the core,
Then it walked off on all fours,
"I was puzzled"
"A dog"
"A chicken"
"What more"
"I am forever off eggs"
Never seeing them the way I saw before,
It trotted to a farm,
A farmer I saw before my eyes
Opened mouthed, hands jested towards
The pig, dog, chicken thing,
O you meet harry, he's special you've seen
That's nothing wait and see,
"Harry what do you wish to tell the gentlemen"
"Dear sir"
"Would you mind paying up"
For what I confusingly said??
*"I'm the worlds only ventriloquist"
"Porker"
"Now you have experienced the show"
"Now pay up"
"I may be a porker, but I not stupid"
"The talking is extra"
What,
Why,
What,
Is all that spilled from my mouth
I handed over notes,
£10
£20
£30
Mouth still open, as I walked
Before I knew it at the hotel I strolled
In to my room, friends standing around
"What you get up too"
"You'd think I was telling porkers"
"Want a bacon sandwich"
I look at them opened mouthed
"Really"
They say I was as white as a ghost
"No"
I replied,
"I'm a vegan"
Since when they asked??
"Since about thirty six minutes ago"
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 8:55 AM UTC
Working at a golf course,
Can mostly be a bore,
Nothing much to do,
But admire the grass and the early morning sunlight,
The smell of rabbit ****
mixed with morning dew,
Time doesn't fly but it's something you get used to,
But at least,
The boring is a peaceful one.
Jul 2, 2014
Jul 2, 2014 at 12:33 PM UTC