#pityparty
"It's just so hard to live with someone who is
so ******* miserable
all the ******* time."
"He's always been such a frustratingly
depressing guy."
"I don't like you."
"You do nothing. You're useless."
"What do you mean, you feel like a failure?
Never mind. I don't want to talk
about that."
"You've got so much potential."
"Well, you're a ray of ******* sunshine."
"Have you tried being happy?"
"You're giving off vibes of tension and
frustration."
"The kids are scared of you."
"Jesus! What are you so sad about?!"
They're not wrong.
Eggshells,
eggshells,
step gently around Joe.
I don't bring joy,
and I don't get more likeable.
I am miserable.
I just wish I didn't bring others
down with me.
No, they're not wrong,
but I really wish they were.
Nov 20, 2020
Nov 20, 2020 at 11:10 AM UTC
"I'm laughing, I'm crying
It feels like I'm dying"
All the times
I sit at the edge of my table
Thinking I'll be able
To break my face on it
My cute prepared outfit
White turned red
Like they said
I should just die
No one would show up to my party of tears
Three cheers for broken hearts
Mar 29, 2018
Mar 29, 2018 at 5:02 PM UTC
Poverty levels are miles above me.
Haven't eaten for days,
but the child's tummy is happy.
That's all that really matters, right?
Stolen vehicles and slinging to get by,
selling myself and losing my mind
an inch at a time.
But, I'm clean in too many ways.
Greed and snapping jaws trained at me.
Every angle of escape blocked,
this is my Destiny.
I chose the wrong hearts to trust.
I gave a mile.
I lost it all.
Though I want to give up,
I just can't afford to blow.
I'll feign strength and plastered
happiness.
Block it all like I've done in the past.
One day I'll be blessed with death,
and I'll rejoice in the simple
emptiness.
Dec 9, 2017
Dec 9, 2017 at 7:59 AM UTC
Abondonment is expected
Maybe even created
Self fullfiled prophecy or Destiny?
Exhausted from the rage
Incapable of withstanding this,
Your eternal storm.
Trapped as always
Bound to yet another villain
Growing crueler as I strengthen
I think I forgot how to cry
This well of sadness won't release
Maybe I'll simply disappear tonight
Nov 28, 2017
Nov 28, 2017 at 10:36 AM UTC
You came to me with powdered knuckles,
you knew it was my poison.
You were raised on horse
so we thought,
'This won't be a problem.'
It feels like the sound
Of a million angels singing.
Doubts explode in the brain,
but the high makes you ignore them.
I knew I had to be stronger
than the last time that I slipped.
I handled my ****
finished the manuscript,
but you just kept exceeding.
I always knew compassion
would one day be my downfall.
You filled your nose,
hid new hoes
And I just kept abiding.
Losses began to trickle in.
You saw you weren't so hard.
To be honest
From what I've witnessed
None of the gangsters are.
I caught you in a tryst
while lies bled from you lips.
Panic attacks and shiny blades
returned to being my usual ways.
I warned you from the start,
but bulls rarely listen.
The lines crossed you
and you felt used.
Shameful, you grew twisted.
Torn and mangled,
Depleted and abused-
Here's to forsaken me
and my nameless muse.
Sep 2, 2017
Sep 2, 2017 at 8:29 AM UTC
You've never felt more self pity
and embarrassment in school until
You've walked down the halls
Eyes brimmed with tears you
fight to hold in all day and the
Inability to tell anyone what's
going on because you know what
Has made you feel this way but
It all is just too much and putting
It in word would force the breath
Out of your lungs and the water out
of your eyes.
Nov 10, 2015
Nov 10, 2015 at 8:26 PM UTC
the dark is like
a cup of
youth
a nostalgic omnipresence
that never fades
always the same at the end of every day
but no walls can keep me protected
from the thoughts that the dark brings like
unwanted guests to
a pity party
we belong to the dark
born in the dark
erased in the dark
never felt so alive entrenched in black
yet so dead
because closing my eyes does nothing
to the sheet that lays over my eyes
where there is no light to hide
from
the waking world
Jan 23, 2015
Jan 23, 2015 at 4:59 PM UTC