#overit
I missed you.
Missed.
Now I look at you
and all I feel is
Numb.
Apr 30
Apr 30, 2026 at 11:03 PM UTC
Here's another chapter,
Something I've already read.
The sentences are strewn together,
And I'm in my head.
Give me a new perspective,
'Cause something inside me
is dead.
Didn't mean to upset you,
But sometimes,
I wish you'd f*ck off,
instead.
Always a new superstition,
Believing something
that doesn't exist.
Always a new problem,
I've never seen someone
so stressed.
Maybe you're delusional,
But it's not relatable.
Your words make no sense,
And always you're oh so
intense.
Instead of going on,
I'm closing this chapter
instead.
Oct 18, 2024
Oct 18, 2024 at 6:37 AM UTC
If you wanted sympathy,
you get nothing from me.
Months of chaos,
Spiraling down
The rabbit hole.
There's nothing left to find,
Because I've already sold my soul.
I feel so empty,
So don't preach to me.
You're just wasting your time,
I don't wanna believe.
Drop the lies,
And let it go.
The path you followed
Isn't the one I chose.
If you want sympathy, baby,
You get nothing from me.
Oct 13, 2024
Oct 13, 2024 at 6:50 PM UTC
I'm in my villian era;
That is to say
I'm in my intolerant era
My "I don't give a **** era
My "I don't have patience for peoples emotions and stupidity" era;
Except its not an era
It's a day
A week
It is a come and go feeling that helps me to function and push forward,
It is an intensity
A fire burning, but not from anger
It is power and control
It is a wall
It's still kind, but different, tainted
Searching for the motive, the string, the catch
proceeding wearily, lacking child-like faith.
It is the only way to protect myself,
demanding respect
To declare that statement:
"Don't **** with me"
To be a sheep in wolf's clothing
Until I feel safe enough to rid myself of this hyde.
Feb 5, 2024
Feb 5, 2024 at 11:11 PM UTC
Sitting here, waiting
Which is basically the equivalent
Of grating
My forehead
Against a cheese grater.
For seconds minutes hours.
Soon, there'll be nothing left,
I'll be an empty shell of myself.
My bored tired pieces scattered all across the floors
As I wait
and wait
and wait
For something that I really should've ignored.
Aug 26, 2023
Aug 26, 2023 at 2:02 AM UTC
I’m not saying that I have a bad life
I have everything I need to survive
I have a job, roof over my head, support
I buy the things that I need and want
But for some reason I have a feeling in me that just does not want to leave me alone
I don’t feel like I’m worth it
Anything
I deserve nothing that would make me happy
Why? I honestly don’t know
No one understands what goes through my head
Im very insecure and constantly worried
I worry that people don’t actually like or love me
I worried that everyone thinks I’m annoying
Nothing helps me feel totally happy
Not money, family, friends, nothing
And I don’t know why.
I feel like I’m alone
No one is helping me fight my battle
A army of one
I have visions of me fighting
I have moments where I just sit in my room and drive myself crazy overthinking
I end up crying and fighting with myself
Yelling, punching things, throwing things
And picking fights with my boyfriend
I love him I really do
But, I feel like my insecurities are pushing him away
He says he loves me but I don’t believe him
Why should I
I’m nothing, im not important to him
I feel like trash compared to the other girls he’s been with
He can do better then me
I want help and I need it but I don’t know where to get it
Self medication isn’t helping anymore
And it will get worse
I just know it
I know me
Aug 4, 2020
Aug 4, 2020 at 10:02 AM UTC
These days have been have felt like I am stuck in a Stanley Kubrick film
Just normalizing the traumatic events
I am looking for someone who is heaven sent
Who would let me vent
And sit in my tent of emotions
Dealing with all this commotion
Of the world falling
I need something calming
Jul 14, 2020
Jul 14, 2020 at 5:19 PM UTC
stop I begged
I'm only twelve
I constantly said
Leave me alone
please I'm not the one
you want to hold
I guess I asked for it
even after I said
I didn't like it one bit
I guess what I didn't know
was everything meant yes
especially when I begged no
He touched me in places
and gave the
most horrid faces
he even wanted me to call him daddy
but the worst part of it all
is I couldn't bear to tell my mommy
so I'm sorry I posted pictures of myself
I just didn't know hed text me saying
hed think of me when touching himself
I didn't know a bikini
would hurt me so much
especially because I'm not skinny
like the other girls he said
I'm far from them
as he laid me down in his bed
Jul 5, 2020
Jul 5, 2020 at 11:27 PM UTC
It's always give never take
giving out all my kindness
giving out all my love
giving out words of comfort
but for all that I give
nothing is returned
all give no take
a laugh can't help but to escape
ha, such a sad fate
May 13, 2020
May 13, 2020 at 5:35 AM UTC
Your incompetence
is no accomplishment
Your inhibition
is no excuse
What're you waiting for?
What're seeking for?
It's all a mess
What're you waiting for?
What're you crying for?
Get over it
Oct 20, 2019
Oct 20, 2019 at 7:19 PM UTC
...on a tangent,
writing lines on my laptop as my emotions run rampant,
in a parking lot outside a Sprouts on Santa Monica Blvd.,
typing vows like they might make some kind of difference,
woke up, restless, on the wrong side of the bed today,
welcomed back, to this Waking Life with tightness in my chest,
& this relentless feeling of eternal loneliness I can’t shake,
which has got me thinking, maybe some souls can’t be saved,
& maybe that’s why I’m now sitting in my car,
with tears in my eyes & nowhere to drive,
because there’s nowhere I want to go,
other than back to the one place where my love was denied,
the only place I want to go,
is back into the arms of the one that let me go,
but she’s so far gone memories seem like only dreams now,
even though I’m not dreaming, I’m wide awake, woke,
I feel so far away from her, for real, it’s almost unbearable, tears start to flow, I think about taking my own life, but don’t,
instead I shake it off, write it down, get these words out of me, to show we all hurt & it’s okay to lose control,
& yeah I know I’ve got nothing really to complain about,
because I’ve got a great life & all that,
but knowing my life is better than most of those in this world,
doesn’t really make me feel better or enhanced,
in fact, it actually makes me more depressed,
it makes me wonder what hope we have left,
as the forests burn, the wars rage,
& the polar bears frantically panic on ever melting ice caps,
& I’m constantly aware of all of these obvious facts,
& maybe that’s why I’m in my car with tears in my lap,
lost with no motivation running out of time & patience,
can’t see a future, feel the present, or remember the past,
This Unruly Mess We’ve Made looks great, shout out to Mac,
but it wasn’t built to last so how much more can it withstand?...
excerpt from poem #63 of THHT3:
The Hollywood Hearts Trilogy Vol 3
available worldwide 9/9/19
Sep 7, 2019
Sep 7, 2019 at 7:27 PM UTC
Ready to give up now or never
Another way to make this river run
Not another cut let’s pull out this gun
Rays of yellow and gold cursing me again
The counter clicking closer
Blessed in another life please just bring me the knife
Piercing my veins again with the chemicals
One more bill to pay I won’t ever carry a tray
Don’t you want to hear me cry your name another to tally
It’s just a let down all this pain is temporary never reaching my limits
Wishing I could win this always deserving why can’t I earn this
Just one more battle know I will never win the war
The devil will have my soul another pill to swallow
Hoping only death will follow
May 5, 2019
May 5, 2019 at 9:59 PM UTC
I found closure when you came back
and I proclaimed back
that I didn't want you back.
Apr 24, 2019
Apr 24, 2019 at 1:38 AM UTC
What day is it?....
Oh... !!!
Why couldn't it be yesterday?!
I survived yesterday.
Apr 1, 2019
Apr 1, 2019 at 5:45 PM UTC
stop forgiving and cutting slack
to those who don't love you back
Feb 18, 2019
Feb 18, 2019 at 8:11 PM UTC
You were at fault,
And
I blamed myself.
Because
I loved you even through the heart break.
Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 7:57 AM UTC
I’m over him.
I say
While stalking his profile.
Lol
Get a grip.
I’m so over it.
I say
Staring at him in the hall
Totally over it.
Congrats, I fooled myself
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 24, 2018 at 4:51 PM UTC
I feel empty
Like all the emotions are still inside me
But I don't feel like letting them out anymore
Besides, what is that even for
I feel empty
My starving mind and body can only tell one thing
That this world is too crowded for a person like me
And this is the moment I doubt in voluntarily breathing
I feel empty
I don't wanna think straight
Everything has happened in sync and in serendipity
These actions are just too late
I feel empty
No music, game or form of excitement can wake me up in this reality
Nothing at all can help me now
It's like passing away is planned somehow
I feel empty
This heart that is palpitating or brain having a migrain
Can't make me forget about things that just adds to the never-ending pain
Truly numb forever, this is me
I feel empty
If this will ever be my last goodbye
I would just like to say thank you for everything you have done to me
All those advices at my crisis
Or the shoulder to cry on during my vices
Thank you and now I'll probably die
Apr 8, 2018
Apr 8, 2018 at 7:03 AM UTC
finding out the one you love
is different than what you thought
is kind of like finding out
"daddy's not a superhero"
you feel sad
disappointed
scared
and worst of all like it was all
a lie.
Jan 16, 2018
Jan 16, 2018 at 3:35 AM UTC
"GET OVER IT!" She said as if depression can be remedied
by any of the contents found in a first aid kit.
Jan 13, 2018
Jan 13, 2018 at 12:02 AM UTC
ROSES ARE RED
Roses are red,violets are blue. You think you broke me,but, I'm going to show you.
I'll come back even stronger than before.
Your lies and deceit don't affect me anymore.
I'll be even more confident, wait and you'll see.
You thought you could take my dreams away from me.
My belief in my abilities, but, here’s what is most sad;
You'll never know the diamond you had.
What was once in ruin is more solid than ever….after you tore me down.You thought you were clever.
Now who's the smart one?.I am, without a doubt. I've changed who I am, both inside and out.
I won't accept anything less than a heart that is true. The days finally come, I'm over you.
If you ever realize the pain you have caused, If you finally see how you made my life pause.
I hope you never hurt anyone else that deep. Because in the end, what you sew, you'll reap.
Someone else will come along, that captures your heart,and before you know it, will rip it apart.
Randy McPeek
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 24, 2017 at 11:57 PM UTC
i only learned value
after i picked
through my wreckage
he left me as a broken house
derelict splintered wood
peeling paint
broken shutters
i fed myself softer things
rebuilt myself on a river
and married the earth
Oct 15, 2017
Oct 15, 2017 at 7:18 PM UTC