#outofreach
I find myself looking at you,
and for you,
more often
than I should —
You visit me
in my dreams,
our affair dancing
on my subconscious
urging me that I would —
I touch myself,
When I am transfixed
on you,
and in those moments
I truly believe
being with you could be good —
Jan 1
Jan 1, 2026 at 5:45 PM UTC
i asked the moon to take care of him.
he rarely goes out every night.
Dec 10, 2022
Dec 10, 2022 at 5:58 PM UTC
Night after night
I sink deeper and deeper
Until no one can reach me
Until I am gone from sight
And what will you do then?
Apr 15, 2019
Apr 15, 2019 at 3:44 AM UTC
When was the last time
You felt completely at ease?
For me
Five months.
My constant stress is
unsurmounted .
My desires are unattainable.
Everything is just
Out of reach.
I am over...
extended
done
it
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 9:40 PM UTC
You crossed my mind
and it felt right
but then I was lost
and I doubted you.
You were already beautiful
but I chose to be blind
then I caught myself
looking at someone
lesser than your shadow.
You were my regret,
my sorrowful bliss.
You were more than enough.
Now, you're out of reach.
Jul 26, 2018
Jul 26, 2018 at 3:54 AM UTC
His lips like ecstasy
Her lips cold as the Atlantic.
His breath that melts the frost
That kisses the tip of her nose.
Her eyelashes that flutter
Like a butterfly's gentle
Wings.
This love was
Sacred.
This love was
Fire.
Raging out of control and yet so beautiful.
His eyes that searched her soul.
The deep green mixing with the
Sun-kissed hazel
That flecked his irises.
The slight spatter of freckles
Stretching under her tired eyes.
This love was
Intimate.
This love was
Inescapable.
Raging out of control and yet so glorious.
His hands on her waist.
Her arms around his neck.
Warmth spreading from his fingertips
Over her icy skin.
A warm current spreading across the Atlantic.
The geography out of place
The puzzles matching up right
The contrast so great.
And yet
It was all
Heavenly.
This love was
Heaven.
This love was
Just out of
Reach.
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 5:45 PM UTC
.
*I capture an image
as you flitter
through my dreams,
never resting to say hello,
never staying long enough
for me to enjoy
or appreciate your visits,
your mist like touch
as St Vitus Dance drives
you fidgeting
amongst my inner thoughts,
no care for the damage caused
nor the trails
of scented confusion,
yet wraith-like or feral ghost
your imprint leaves
traces of perfumed attention
in a tortured mind,
that linger with a hope
of a fleeting glance,
replaced with a second look,
and the tender torment
persists in the clinging grip
of pictures
sequenced to evade notice.*
© Pagan Paul (05/03/18)
Mar 5, 2018
Mar 5, 2018 at 1:00 PM UTC
Guilt ran through her body,
as she continued to blame herself,
for a love she gave, and did not receive,
she wanted to keep him,
but he was not hers to keep.
Her thoughts, filled with nostalgia,
and her heart screamed in pain,
she gave her love on a piece of paper,
until nothing else remained.
Sep 7, 2017
Sep 7, 2017 at 12:30 PM UTC
I'd give anything
If I could have her.
I'd give anything,
If she could be my world.
I'd give anything to be her man,
I'd give everything.
But she will never see me as more than I am,
A friend,
A brother,
A protector.
I will always try running from my feelings,
Taking girl after girl,
Always trying to make her jealous.
But it never works, and I end up with a broken heart.
And she has guy after guy, making me jealous every time.
I can't have her because we're too much like family,
Always close, but never close enough.
How cursed did I have to be to almost be her cousin?
If it were not for a summer love so long ago,
She would not even know me.
I wish I would never have even known her.
Like a whirlwind she came and did a number on my head,
Like a siren she calls but I can never run to her,
I can never indulge myself in her touch.
She teases without even knowing she's doing it.
I'd give anything to have never known her,
Because love never had is preferable over love always chased after.
I can never have her but she has me.
How depressing it is that I must tell you this,
If not you, then not anyone.
Besides, I would much rather profess my love to strangers than to the girl who unknowingly has my heart.
Even if she does know,
She must not think anything of it.
Because I am only her friend,
Her brother,
Her protector.
She will never see me as more than I am.
Mar 27, 2017
Mar 27, 2017 at 9:34 AM UTC
Oh, hello..
I ask Motivation to ravage me
So **** and out of reach
I wonder if he’ll notice me
Hey, Motivation.
Do I look **** with this Adderall?
When I dress like an adult?
When I spread my books wide open?
When I arch my back right out of bed
Does it make you want me?
Motivation, get out of my head!
I’m kidding... I like it when you taunt me.
When I think of you
I salivate
Look out my window,
watch you all day
You look so ****
that special way
You work those other students.
I’ll bite my lip and I’ll slowly crawl
Right to class, backpack and all
My eyes intense with innocence
Please don’t take your eyes off me.
Motivation, you know just what I like
When you make my grade point average rise
Look, Daddy-- my schedules so tight
But I still manage to squeeze in several hours to write
Oh Daddy…
Can I play with your friends?
Maturity, and Ambition?
I’m a spoiled brat but I’ll listen
Tie me up so I can’t deny you
Tell me “I’m gonna be inside you”
Please, Motivation I want to ride you
Have your friends watch…
After that, you can tell them to join in
So collegiate it must be a sin
I’m a ****** to this sort of thing
I guess I’ll take off my immaturity ring
For all you guys I’ll be so special
Fill my head with names until I go mental
Like “hardworking” and “determined”
Until I’m submissive to school and working.
Now let’s pretend
That I’m the student
I’ll call you sir,
Please don’t be prudent
Here’s my homework
Make me do it.
Mr. Motivation….
You know whats *****
My bedroom floor.
Here I’ll bend over
And clean it more.
My goodness, this isn’t like me!
I’m married! Don’t you see?
This is merely fantasy!
I’m incapable of priorities!
…When it’s against to whom I’m wed.
For now I’ll ride my washing machine
I’m faking that I am with thee
But this isn’t homework and my room’s not clean
I am just a bored wife of Apathy.
Apr 7, 2016
Apr 7, 2016 at 12:28 PM UTC
I see it!
I run!
I leap!
I fall!
I am unconscious!
I'm awake!
I have lost the rainbow from sight!
I close my eyes!
I peek!
I wait for another rainbow!
I'm old!
Time is up!
Only to realise there was never a rainbow.
Jun 24, 2015
Jun 24, 2015 at 1:24 AM UTC