i guess that's the thing when nothing good is happening in ur life anymore, u search for it in every corner wherever u are: in the buses passing by, in the leaves falling down, in the river flowing swiftly, in the dust flying trapped in a ray of sunshine hitting the spot on ur side.
Aug 5, 2025
Aug 5, 2025 at 11:13 AM UTC
doctor... doctor... i think there's something wrong with me...
my heart feels so heavy, i think it’s going to fall to the ground any time now.
can you take it out and see what’s wrong with it?
can you please peel it open and find the hole that’s been making me feel shallow?
stuff it with dirt or sew it terribly — anything, just to stop it from bleeding blood and void.
doctor, my skin feels weird. i don’t like it anymore.
i feel thousands of cuts and bruises all over me, but i can’t see them.
some people have been punching me hard and cutting me with the tiniest blades from their mouths.
i’ve been patching myself with cloth from my own worn-out clothes,
but i don’t know how long this method will work.
i feel like my skin is about to rip apart completely, like a net meant to catch fish for hungry fishermen.
doctor, my muscles ache so much.
i think my bones will fall apart too, full of mold and dust.
so worn out, never taken care of.
can you please check if they’re still usable?
i’ve been working myself tirelessly and forgot they were still there.
and my brain — god, my mind, it’s so messed up.
a mess.
when i opened my skull last time, screws and springs flew out
some disassembled, barely working.
what happened?
i don’t even know anymore.
was it too much thinking? too many plans?
too many emotions?
too much... too much... too much...
doctor? they said you’re the greatest healer.
can you do something about this?
can you do something about me?
doctor?... doctor?... aren’t you God?
Aug 5, 2025
Aug 5, 2025 at 11:10 AM UTC
and what should i do when i see you slipping through my fingers because i don't know how to hold you anymore?
you're too good to just stay in my ***** palms.
i don't want to stain your water that should be flowing where the ocean is.
May 15, 2025
May 15, 2025 at 9:22 AM UTC
a part of my heart will always miss the time when the world was still something i could hold—when i could still reach the ends of my life and grasp it with my bare hands. i think my palms are slowly forgetting how it felt once, trembling at the thought that they might never touch anything like that again.
Apr 7, 2025
Apr 7, 2025 at 10:53 AM UTC
yesterday, i saw you riding the same bus as i was. i remembered your name in a split second but i never dared to call you. i wonder if you remember me too. our shared memories are already blurry in my head, but my heart softened as it knew who you were. i smiled alone, thinking all i can do now is to wish you well. i hope my prayer reaches you in some way or another, my old friend.
Mar 31, 2025
Mar 31, 2025 at 8:05 AM UTC
it's been so long. you still write the kind that made me fell in love with you years ago. despite everything, you're still one of the best poets i've ever known.
Mar 31, 2025
Mar 31, 2025 at 8:00 AM UTC
on the stage, basking in the sun,
a lover who was never chosen as the one.
holding the prizes i humbly flaunt,
but never got half of what i want.
shaking, repeating to myself, "i did well,"
hoping no one will be able to tell
how my eyes wander along a route,
looking for someone who already walked out.
you left me behind after making me feel won,
funny how you decided you were just done.
asked myself countless times where i went wrong—
i guess, in your company, i never belonged.
this smile hides all those sleepless nights,
a performance of standing, pretending i’m alright.
but babe, i actually did it, even without you,
now i know i should be fine to start anew.
thinking this gold i’m holding might call your eyes to me,
realizing it was also a competition of agony.
you were a prize, but i guess i want to deserve more—
there is no loss when i am a good score.
with a blood-stained face, i hold my head up high,
on this stage where people’s cheers dignify.
friends ask me how i do it while i'm tearing apart,
with bitter laugh, i say, "i can do it with a broken heart."
Mar 10, 2025
Mar 10, 2025 at 10:48 AM UTC
sulat dito, sulat doon,
inaalala ang pait ng kahapon.
mga gusot na papel sa ibabaw ng mesa,
iniiyak ang bigat ng dibdib sa mga letra.
nagpupuno ang mga salitang nagkakagulo,
kahit isang mensahe lamang ang nais iparating nito.
dudukutin sa isip lahat ng natitirang alaala,
hanggang ang lahat ng pag-ibig ko’y mawala na.
hindi pansin ang nangangalay na kamay,
pinapagod ang damdaming taglay.
sulat nang sulat gamit ang tintang paubos,
hanggang sa ang hinagpis ng puso'y matapos.
sa aking pagsulat ng huling salita,
at sa huling pagpatak ng aking tinta,
iiwan sa papel lahat ng poot at sakit,
kakalas sa plumang mahigpit ang pagkapit.
Feb 19, 2025
Feb 19, 2025 at 8:43 PM UTC
tulad ng himig ng mga awit ng pag-ibig,
ang tamis at lambing ng mga ito.
kung may tinig ang pagmamahal,
maaaring ito ay boses mo.
bigla akong pinasaya,
ngunit bigla ring nagbago.
sapagkat parehong boses din
ang nagtapos sa ugnayang mayroon tayo.
ang tunog na noo’y nagbibigay-kalma,
ngayo’y iniipit ang pusong nagdurusa.
tinatakpan nang mahigpit ang mga tenga
kapag naririnig ang iyong musika.
ngunit kung ako ang papipiliin,
ayaw kong bumalik sa tahimik kong mundo.
at sa gitna ng ingay ng paligid,
sadyang boses mo pa rin ang hahanapin ko.
hirap sa pagtanggap
tungkol sa awit na nagtapos.
marinig lamang ang iyong pangalan,
ang hininga'y kinakapos.
nagsusumamo, nagmamakaawa,
magbigkas ka ng ilang salita.
hiling ng tenga at puso ko,
maari bang marinig ulit ang boses mo?
Feb 19, 2025
Feb 19, 2025 at 8:40 PM UTC
nilalamig, nanginginig, nanghihina, at humahangos,
sa siksikan na lugar, pinipilit kong umusad at makaraos.
ang sakit ng puso’y nagpaparamdam sa paos niyang sigaw ng “tigil!”
sa mga matang hindi alam ang ginagawa pero ayaw magpapigil.
naghahanap ng sagot, nangungulila sa gustong pagmulan nito,
ang mga paa’y hinahatak palayo sa direksyon mo.
paurong-sulong ang isip na tanging laman ay ikaw,
nagmamakaawang nakaluhod, pilit nang nag-aayaw.
nananakit na ang leeg kakahanap sa kanyang noo’y sandalan,
naiiyak na inaalala ang nagtapos kamakailan lang.
ngayo’y naglalakad mag-isa sa gitna ng maiingay na tao,
dahil sa manhid, wala nang pakialam kahit natutulak at nabubunggo.
bagsak ang mga balikat, ang mga tuhod ay sumusuko,
paubos man ay lumalaban ang mahinang bulong ng puso.
umaasa na sa konting sakit at hintay pa, baka ako pa rin—
na sa aking paghahanap ay makita ka at ang iyong mga matang naghahanap din sa akin.
Feb 19, 2025
Feb 19, 2025 at 8:39 PM UTC