#openletter
She could've stayed, and I would've loved her for a lifetime.
She could've let herself be loved, and I would've shown her what that means.
She could've let herself wake beside me on Sundays, and I would've kept making her pancakes.
She could've let herself believe she was enough, and I would've reminded her, every day, that she was.
She could've let herself be my Jessica Rabbit, and I would've made her laugh like Roger every day.
She could’ve let herself slow dance with me in the bedroom, and I would’ve held her through every quiet night.
She could've stayed, and I would’ve kept planning picnic dates.
She could've stayed, and I would've written her poems until my hands gave out.
She could've stayed, and I would've loved her, even when she couldn't love herself.
She could've stayed, and I would've made every birthday feel like magic.
She could've stayed, but she didn't. Now all my "would've's are just echoes in the hallway she left me in
She could've stayed....
Oct 3, 2025
Oct 3, 2025 at 7:07 AM UTC
To my beloved young souls of this named generation,
Do you seek a voice to remind you of the true essence within us, away from the misconceptions and judgments?
We are not merely the "me-me" self-centered beings, painted as lazy narcissists.
Let us reject the labels of self-interest, self-absorption, and self-indulgence,
For we are capable of much more than self-inflating.
In the annals of human history, let us not be haunted by the false idol of "Self,"
Instead, let our actions be guided by compassion and empathy.
Though older voices warn of destruction and collapse, painting a barren landscape of temptation and immorality,
We, the Y's, Z's, and millennials, defy such narratives and strive for something greater,
Our destiny lies not in becoming mere ego bubbles, but in shaping a world of substance and purpose.
Bound by neither trends nor lustful pleasure, we seek a true and meaningful civilization.
The fabric of morality may appear to unravel, but its preservation is a price we cannot bear to lose.
Look beyond the surface allure of life's trinkets, for often the glitter obscures true value.
We have traded moments of existence for shallow approval, forsaking our inner selves.
Yet, even the grandest tombs turn to dust, reminding us that true worth lies in the legacy we leave.
Had we possessed the courage to champion righteousness, this letter would remain unwritten.
In life, only four certainties endure: progress, change, evolution, and uncertainty.
But let us not be like dogs returning to their ***** or fools drawn back to the flames.
A day will come when we must reckon with our mistakes and seek redemption.
Believe it or not, the choice lies within us.
Aug 16, 2022
Aug 16, 2022 at 8:29 PM UTC
I was never an open letter.
I am that mail that the postman had lost while sending other letters.
I am that letter that was never received.
Oct 10, 2021
Oct 10, 2021 at 3:53 PM UTC
Ohh wow congratulations,
Finally, you are engaged with your one and only!
Noice!! Naah I’m not feeling anything,
Or maybe I am, I don’t know why my heart is heavy, I was knowing this from the very start, but it’s just I am not feeling good enough to feel anything!
Because I was waiting for you to realize that we can be back with each other! And hoping you to realize that you are losing someone who truly loves you and will never leave your side.
But you hit me with a shock of your engagement picture, but it has been only a year since we broke up and, you moved on so quick. How is that possible? I will never forget that day.... that hell of the day 16th Nov 2019! We broke up...! and, exactly one year, you are engaged with the girl I hate most, The girl for whom you cheated on me or, you cheated her, for me. Haha, I don’t know what is more accurate. Funny!
It’s not like I’m jealous or something, but you wished me in Diwali just two days ago and talked to me like nothing had happened, Saying “I was waiting for your message" what the hell do you want from me? Am I a toy to you? When you feel like tearing my innocent heart you do without any hesitation. You always do this to me, always messaging and showing love and care to me when you don't even know how I am doing, or how my mental state is. you always did things as per your, please.
I never complained anything to you because, at some point in my life, I loved you more than myself and also don’t want you to pity me for loving you this much..!!
But, today ill say my heart out and, I'll ask my heart out! They say people do silly things when they are in love and, so I. I don’t wanna say but, now they term it as using someone’s kindness for nothing and I did things which I’ll never do for myself and, in exchange What the hell you did to me? Did you ever thought of me as your girl? Did you ever loved me, even for a couple of seconds? or ever wondered what the **** I was to you? Just tell me honestly!
I am done with lies .. so please, at least today, tell me the truth. I must know the truth!
I don’t have any regret to be part of your life, and I promise I will not complain a thing, and BTW to whom you think I will complain? You already know... I had only one or at least a myth of having one..!! And that one is no more mine. Or never was Haha..!! So much confusion!
Lots of mixed feelings are hitting me up! And even I am unable to write this **** on blank paper! What I’m gonna do with this ******* life when I don’t have enough guts!
I know, I wasn’t this miserable any before! We were never at the same level, we had differences too like other couples but, somehow we managed everything up. And, I still don’t know where and when we started partying ways... I don’t know what I did wrong to make you find someone else to fill that gap. But now I don’t know what I am, who I am! maybe it would have different if you had told me it on your own rather than finding things like this, today, and also one year ago.
I can’t trust anybody anymore, and you are the reason! It’s still unbelievable you, you did this to me!
To be honest, I still can’t believe that you are already someone else’s, while I’m still struggling with my feelings! People think I am too slow but, I know, I don’t want to forget you and our memories, how happy we were with each other but, now it’s confusing, I can’t believe things have gone too far this early. I never said to you but, I was too fast to dream about our future life of being together, happily ever after!
so it's hurting! just that!
And now there is not a single reason for being ***** like hell. I am tired of being a good ex-girlfriend turned into a good close friend. So today, finally, I am saying goodbye to you and my feelings. It’s heavy and, I can’t lift that weight! And Yes, one more thing..!! Please tell your friends to stop seeing me as a matter of gossip. I was thankful for their support in our hard times but, now you had made me pity object so, they check on me just to get entertained by my feelings, which is just not acceptable.
So, goodbye!
Nov 17, 2020
Nov 17, 2020 at 9:05 AM UTC
today, i will wake up and think of you. the first thing will be about how your eyes had the color of all the storms that left this year. next will be your hair, in flaming red, as if to make up for all the colors your heart has been drained of for loving me. then, i will think of the way i wrote you poems amid writer’s block; every line, a compulsion, an obsession of i love you's rephrased. i will think of the feel of your skin, cold, but burning, like mercury fires crashing to the poles.
then, i will remember the chipped nails and back scratches and the heat of the whiskey, rushing from your mouth to mine. i will remember october and her rooftop letters we sealed with the skyline's silhouette. i will remember how they have become a foliage of words i refused to stop writing — and words you refused to read. i will remember how we wished to be paper cranes flung to the sun, how i have become icarus incarnate, falling, and crashing back to the earth. today, i will wake up and remember how loving you became my flight and my downfall. i will let the pain eat me up, rip my lungs, one flashback at a time. i will let the pain break me and break me and break me until there's nothing left to break.
and then one day, i will wake up darling, without sleeping next to make-believe alternate endings, without addressing you in apostrophes, and without the storms tailored to be metaphors for you. one day, i will wake up without wondering if you were ever hurt the way i was. i will wake up without thinking of you. i will wake up without the slightest traces of pain.
and then i will let you go.
Aug 29, 2019
Aug 29, 2019 at 9:56 AM UTC
I wish you told me that wounding my knees was a part of the joy and that my hair already looked perfect in waves, and that bedtime stories weren't lame. I wish you told me these when I was a kid, instead of giving me the cliche ******** — those spilled stories over spilled beers about how you were forced to marry Mom instead of that girl named Beth.
We were caught in a story, the one with that school money thoughtlessly flung on the floor, road trips arguments and drunk-driving over eighty, and nonexistent goodnight kisses and hugs. As a kid, I believed those were the indicators of affection and love. But they're not and had I known that earlier, I wouldn't have stayed with someone who walked all over my mental health
with someone who took me on a desk and spit knives in his drunken slurs,
with someone who dialed another girl's number while thinking I was asleep,
with someone who only dialed my number while he thought his girl was asleep,
with someone who faded in the curtains after he saw my razored wrists,
with someone who said I was his ***** and called it his idea of love.
Had I known it earlier, I wouldn't have trusted men who hurt me just as you had. Had I known it earlier, I wouldn't have stayed with someone who had a ****** up notion of what love was. Had I known it earlier, I wouldn't have stayed with someone who was exactly like you.
Dad, had I known earlier that abuse wasn't supposed to be confused with love, I would have stayed alone.
Aug 12, 2019
Aug 12, 2019 at 10:43 PM UTC
our falling apart isn’t like having heartbreak lines sitting on my chest, waiting to be written when i wake up and realize you’re gone. it isn’t like sinking into the absence of your coffee-scented lips on my temple, or walking into a dust storm caught in the sunbeams in your room. it isn’t like those cold, two a.m. nights where you find yourself singing stay with derek sanders and breaking down into a puddle of unbearable pain, hoping that each guitar strum will take you away from our memories.
no, our falling apart isn’t like that. it isn’t immaculate.
it isn’t an indie-film-kinda-heartbreak, nor is it poetic.
you see, we fell apart simply because you loved me — you loved me so ******* much, darling.
and i wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.
Jul 5, 2019
Jul 5, 2019 at 3:59 AM UTC
you always ask why i always stay in my room, in that voice that always made me feel small and vulnerable — the one that always made me feel like a five-year-old girl wishing that the blankets and the stars will hush the thunders.
you always ask why, dad, and yet you always find ways to hurt me the moment i come out of this four-walled shell, ashen and gray from all the storm clouds circling over my head. you always find ways to spot the cracks on my skin, like i was just another wall in this crumbling house. you always find ways lasso your words around my throat — tighter and tighter, i can no longer breathe. you always find ways to unhinge my mind; to unbottle all the tears and all the loose pieces of my heart hastily stitched out of place.
dad, i am caught in a trojan war brewed by my demons, and you are paris, piercing all of my achilles heels; stitched; tender; still healing from all the poisoned arrows you shoot — a year ago. two years ago. three. four. and for years and years, you always find ways to crush me, like the cans of your empty beer. you always find ways to crack and snap this bent framework; my bones are broken from the weight of your words. you always find ways to hurt me and hurt me and hurt me and hurt me again — like i was never the little girl you played dolls and cooking sets with; like i was never the little girl you watched disney movies with. like i was never the little girl you used to love — dad, i am still she, now trapped in the body of an adult. i am still she, now trapped in the prison of a dusty room you unknowingly co-erected. and i guess i'll stay right here where i'm trapped, but safe. i guess i'll stay right here where the voices only come from my demons.
i'll stay right here where you can't see me.
i'll stay right here where i'm not hurt.
Jun 25, 2019
Jun 25, 2019 at 12:20 AM UTC
How possibly can I listen to you
If you are trying to shove it down my throat
If my eyes bleed more abundantly than tears fall
but what else can come out but blood
After you allow my head to be stuffed with stars.
with planets.
with words.
questions
statements
stubbornness
art music letters ghosts emotions scars–
what it is like to be in one's own deathbed
i will never know
until the ghosts tell me.
i can never be good at what they want me to
so i will be just another blurry face
i am the mad hatter on the closing brink of insanity
Jan 10, 2019
Jan 10, 2019 at 12:55 PM UTC
all the things you said
that night at 2 am
the pain I left you with
shattering regret that follows me like my shadow
it is scratched into the walls of my mind
how horrible I am
for finding myself
in someone else.
how I let myself do this
to someone I lived for
for someone who's absence
once ceased my desire to wake
to eat
to live
I have told myself many times
that my crime is not punishable by death-
that lie is the only reason I can sleep at night.
it is the only way I can stand to be alone with myself.
it was all the fear that I would never really have you
that finally drove you away
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 12:59 AM UTC
Eyes open the soul to inspection.
Sometimes when eyes meet the soul is filled with wonder and delight,
others an extreme desire to run and to fight,
an infestation that entangles and ensnares,
a **** that gathers there.
I have been burned by prying eyes,
their color, shape, and design
embedded into my memory for the remainder of my life.
In my mind, everything around those eyes have faded into obscurity over time.
The image at first is clear, but the edges fade rapidly,
Until all i see are the eyes filled with intensity.
A silent command, “Keep quiet.”
How could I have been so naive to have listened?
I remember being questioned when I kept my distance,
I said I didn't feel well,
An unheard cry for help.
I contemplated telling the truth,
But every time I thought to give proof,
I felt the eyes on me.
I was as if they could see everything within my head.
The eyes, they knew my intentions,
And their stormy presence gave way to hesitations,
It was not a total lie…
I wasn’t feeling well.
The cause of this unwell was what should be
Foreign to the lives of little children, like me.
This dark thing was not a thought to be entertained.
How is it that one morning you wake up,
Eyes masked by rose colored glasses,
And the next they’ve turned to jade?
Were my innocent eyes what made him want to pursue?
Open, inviting, gaps in the wall that hid my spirit?
Maybe that is why I was the target,
Windows wide enough for a thief to climb through.
I have very little memory of that time.
All that I can recall are those eyes,
Gleaming, and beady in the night,
Reflecting nothing but glimmer of the hallway light.
I remember how they looked when they looked back at me,
And forever those eyes will be trapped inside my memory.
What haunts me more than those grey and lifeless eyes,
Is how for all the times I saw those eyes,
They never seemed to see the tears in mine.
Apr 10, 2018
Apr 10, 2018 at 5:32 PM UTC
According to you, broken people broke other people too.
Masaya pala maging broken.
Finally, I am free from everything, from anyone who makes me feel sad, unworthy and not enough despite of everything.
Now I know, who truly care, love and respect me despite of, no if's no but's. Loving someone with all your effort, with all your heart is not enough. Especially if the person see things in different ways, and if that person can't stand on the things that makes him/her happy.
No to domino effect please.
Yes love can be the main reason to forgive but I am sorry, I'm only human who believe that love, can also be one of the million reasons not to forget.
Not because of, me being bitter I'm just recognizing my feelings.
If ***** chooses to hurt you once, twice, thrice.
Give yourself a break but please don't let your feelings be the main reason to hate them.
Sabihin nalang natin na, minsan natuto din ang mga tanga, At malaki ang impact non.
Apr 6, 2018
Apr 6, 2018 at 1:27 AM UTC
For a long period of time, we have been told to conform to the different standards set for us by the society. We grew up in a system where having milk colored skin and lean, slender bodies is the only acceptable image of beauty. Several advertisements and individuals will try to tell you what you need to buy or do to improve yourself, and I’m writing this letter to say that you are superb; a creation of purpose.
In a world where violence, fear and hate continue to exist, it is essential for us to unify and persist in eradicating the barriers that have been placed before us. Regardless of our differences - our backgrounds, religions, ethnicity, political views, jobs, academic standing, and flaws or perfections – we all want the same thing in life: respect, love and success. We all want to be seen and esteemed for who we are but we must also know that a women’s success doesn’t equalize with another’s failure. It is important that we work forward in life hand in hand, rather than to step on others just to rise above everyone else. Know that there is a time, place and an opportunity for all of us to accomplish our dreams. Know that you are able to think for yourself – despite of what the world keeps telling you. I believe that women like you and me are capable of creating history every day. I believe in the power of inseparability, that we could push the boundaries and open other people’s minds to a better discourse if we collectively act to make it happen.
As we celebrate International Women’s Month, I encourage you to find the good in the women around you. Let yourself be inspired by their experiences setbacks and victories. By doing this, we not only strengthen our respect for one another, but we open doors for others and ourselves.
This is letter is for all the women who’s looking for their place in this world. Whoever you may be – a student, a businesswoman, a coach, a lawyer, a janitor, a musician, a scientist, a military, a teacher, a traveler, a doctor, an athlete, a poet, or a transwoman – know that you are smart, beautiful, inspirational and strong.
Thank you for being yourself.
Sincerely,
Pat
Mar 4, 2018
Mar 4, 2018 at 9:26 AM UTC
I'm not entirely sure if I'm
More terrfied of swarzchild's radius
The likely end of heat death over the eons of time
Or suspensions of the corpus' habeas
Or perhaps terror lies in false vacums
Or neglected tropical diseases
Or perhaps it lies in refugees being refused
Or with a virus that does as it pleases
But despite the fact that I get
My share of nightmare fodder
Your videos are complex, with layers of thought, yet
They're easily understandable and popular
The work you do is truly amazing
You spread wondrus knowledge through the web
And while you terrify, you're equally inspiring
With all of the points that stick in your head
So to you, Kurgestat, I give a mixed thanks
For though your existentialism can terrify
I love learning, from your words on war to banks
And the way your videos spread like they fly
Jan 25, 2017
Jan 25, 2017 at 10:31 PM UTC
You increase me.
You bring me quiet.
Your presence is peace.
You are what I meditate to embody.
You are river not beating down land.
Your lips are water caressing shore.
And still you are so full of fire.
You are all red room ...
And rich, smooth chocolate.
You are fresh earth
And bonfire.
I always want to end with you
Start with you
Give into you...
Coat your wounds with my laughter.
You deserve the calm you give to me.
... Please lie down your burdens,
Share your energy with me.
I'll lay it all out for you...
Forever will never be here
But this moment
Right here ...
Today ... with me is .
-Indigo Morrison
Sep 10, 2016
Sep 10, 2016 at 10:05 AM UTC
Dear C,
For the last week
I've been feeling down
I didn't believe anything
And no conclusions could be found
And all I could think
is " what if life has no meaning?
what if the universe just wastes space?
what's the meaning of the human race?"
But somehow
inexplicably
listening to you rant on the bus home
about how your Harvard-trained substitute
"Can't ******* teach"
somehow
unexplainably
made my day
a little brighter
and pushed the system in my mind out
like the month-long rainstorm that just ended yesterday
I guess listening to someone vent
when you feel pent up
can make you feel a little more free
so thank you
May 26, 2016
May 26, 2016 at 3:57 PM UTC
An open letter to teachers
I love learning
You make think that’s odd considering the blank look I have on my face every lesson
But it’s true
However when you put me in a room of thirty other kids I don’t get along with
Or don’t like learning too
It kinda kills the mood
Whilst learning definitions is important and I understand
You’ll forgive me for looking out of the window for a few minutes before tuning back in
You’re just as bored as me I know
But of course you’ll never let it show
After all
Your class is the most important of them all
Thirty minutes of homework a night at least
I study 6 other subjects
Each of them requiring at least thirty minutes too
That’s three and a half hours of work a night
Plus eight hours of school
That’s a twelve hour work day
So you’ll forgive me for yawning in your class
Afterall I stayed up til 12am the night before doing the work you set me
No of course not
How dare I yawn in your lesson?
That’s right it is incredibly rude
It is my fault I stayed up so late the night before
Doing work that you set me
How dare I?
I apologise
I love learning
But I don’t like sitting in a room of 150 other kids doing an exam
Spending three nights before fitting into my head all that I could cram
So I could have you stand over me and watch me as I write
Or the giant dreaded clock counting down from 100 to 0
Each minute going faster as I struggle to calculate how many times 0 goes into 100
Asking a question that can’t be answered
“You won’t be able to ask questions in real life”
That’s odd because my work place embraces asking questions
On the bottom of every sheet saying ‘ask the manager if you don’t know how to do these jobs’
But that’s not the real world
Part time work is not the real world
Flipping burgers at Maccas is not the real world
But it seems pretty real to me
I love learning
When I was 8 loved to do maths
Triangles and squares and circles it all came naturally
Then you started implying that maths was a boy’s area
That only boys do well and boys can succeed
I lost that love
Took a left turn at maths and English lane
Whether that was the best or worst choice I’ve ever made I’m here now
A poet who can count to 100 in threes languages but can’t make sense of the letter x
What’s it doing there?
Isn’t maths just numbers?
Are English and maths crossing over?
No
X and represents everything and 1 all at once
Just like how the conch symbolises law and order?
No
It’s just a number
A number that needs to be worked out
Ten lines at least to work out x
A million different solutions and trial and error will not be one
It’s the cheat’s way out
The girl’s way out
I love learning
My maths teacher taught me to love maths again
My English teacher taught me English was not just a constellation
My drama teacher taught me drama is so much more than the stage
But maybe this is all too late
Because when I’ve spent my life waiting to fall in love with maths again
My love for maths was lost
My love for learning was lost
My drive is lost
I love learning
But not as much as I used to
May 22, 2016
May 22, 2016 at 6:13 AM UTC
Please,
Please,
For the love of God and my self esteem,
Do not
Under any circumstances
Compare me to another girl.
You see when you do this
My heart sinks.
My chest gets tight.
My through clenched.
My eyes sting.
My gut feels like it was struck by a first.
And my self confidence
Is nonexistent.
It doesn't matter who you are
Who she is
Or what my relationship to either of you is.
Just don't do it.
Being told that someone is better than me in any way
And that I am not good enough to be equals with them
Leaves me broken
And more depressed
Then you'd expect.
She
May be a better singer;
She
May be prettier;
She
May have enough to be perfect to someone.
Me?
I feel worthless
24/7.
And knowing that someone
Thinks less of me when compared to someone else,
Imagine
How you would feel
Knowing
That you are not ever going to see yourself excel in that area
Ever
Again.
So please,
Please,
For the love of God and my self esteem,
Do NOT
Under ANY circumstances
Compare me to another girl.
Thank you,
Insecure and pitiful
May 15, 2016
May 15, 2016 at 6:12 PM UTC
6:15 am 04/28/16
I’m sorry.
I just wanted to start out by saying that.
I should have fought harder for you; I should not have let myself be persuaded into letting you go when I knew I didn’t want to. The truth is, I was scared- I was scared that I wasn’t going to have enough. That I wasn’t going to be enough. I know now that I was wrong. I would have been strong and I would have been okay and I would have loved you more than anyone could have imagined. Even if it was hard I would have worked through it. But, I doubted myself, and that’s where I failed you.
I could just blame everyone else around me and say “I didn’t have a choice,” but to me that’s just taking the easy way out and avoiding my faults to try to put my own mind at ease… but it would only make me feel worse. I knew I had a voice and I knew I had the choice to speak up and use it but I didn’t. By the time I realized that, it was too late and my fight wasn’t heard. I tried… but it took me too long and it was already happening and I couldn’t stop it.
…
You would have been so loved. Everyone would have spoiled you rotten. The kids (my siblings) would have been especially ecstatic to have a new baby around. My mom would have been happy to be a grandmother (as I’m sure your dad's mother would have been as well). My grandparents would have welcomed you as a great grandchild and you would have been worshiped by my grandpa who absolutely loves babies. I’m sure your dad would have been upset for a while I was carrying you, but when you actually got here he probably would have been completely different about it. He would have had no choice but to love you, too.
And I would have loved you. I did love you. I didn’t even know you yet and I loved you already. I still love you and I always will. I know it’s easy to say “I’ll never forget you” and then stop thinking about it and move on and forget- but you were such a big part of me, even in the short amount of time that you were mine, that I won’t ever be able to forget you. You are a part of me now and you’re here to stay, even if you aren’t physically here.
You will always be loved.
You will always be missed and you will always be remembered.
R.I.P 04/25/16.
(never forget: 11/26/16)
^Your birthday.
Apr 28, 2016
Apr 28, 2016 at 12:19 PM UTC
there's a lot to say here
i don't want to write about you anymore
i have been trying to force myself to forget about you
but there are too many seconds in a day and a quarter of that is accidentally dedicated to wondering what it would've been like if we never dated
the other quarter is spent wondering how I got through my days before letting you past the wall I never let anyone through
the rest, surprisingly isn't spent on you. it's spent on things I've worked hard reaching for.
im not going to sit here and blame myself the whole time, and not you either. it was a mutual effort, you know? two very busy, emotionally unavailable, hot headed misery-ridden people trying to get in a relationship was a very silly idea of ours.
I know you and I were meant to be in some stupid way. I wish I didn't believe that. As we always said, timing was everything. We just never got it right.
Yes. I am crazy. I am crazy due to my past. I am crazy out of fear. There is physically nothing I can do to snap out of it. You knew this. I also know that you are afraid of any change, and any commitment scares you. I would apologize for how I am, but that's why you fell in love with me in the first place amongst a few other key factors.
I fell in love with the way your eyes glistened green in the sun and when it was dark out, it was brown. There was never a real in between. I fell in love with your doofy *** smile. I fell in love with the person you faked to be for one and a half months and you turned into a selfish human being shortly there after. I fell in love with your touch and how you would pull me closer to you when we'd be sleeping.
I've known you since the beginning of spring. I still remember the day we locked eyes and the butterflies there after we're crazy. Just hearing your name at the time made me smile. I couldn't tell you why. "Why are you always smiling at me?!" Youd ask. F, I couldn't ever tell you. There was something about you that I wanted. Your heart was mine for a short amount of time.
I remember the day I got mad at you because you were mean to me again and you refused to let me leave at all and kept apologizing and reassuring me that everything was okay. You pulled me as close to you as possible and told me you loved me. I don't remember the last time you did that, babe.
It's all gone now. I want to say, "until next time," but I think that ship sailed. I wish I could say that it was great until the end, but I have never felt worse being in a relationship or partnership that felt like it was consistently hanging on an emotional thread every single day. Like I said, I wasn't forever. I wanted to be. That would've been nice. But I had to go. I had to run. I couldn't continue waking up every day wondering what today will bring me. It's time for me to love myself. I deserve the happiness. And so do you. I know you'll find it. And I know you will read this.
This is my final letter and post about you. Like in that movie I love, eternal sunshine. I am erasing you from my memory. I hope everything works out for you and I hope you find that someone that will satisfy every need I couldn't meet for you.
Goodnight, angel.
-B
Mar 16, 2016
Mar 16, 2016 at 2:38 AM UTC
Open Letter to My Parents; who didn’t believe in me,
I am so thankful for all that you do for me. You truly do everything you can to provide a home and food for me, that of which I am very grateful for. You raised me and bought me plenty of materialistic things, which I am also very very grateful for.
What I am not thankful for is the way you make me feel emotionally and even mentally. Just one time I would like to hear that you’re proud of me without having to ask; “Mom are you proud?” “Did you see that Dad?! Wasn’t it good?” Just one time I would like to come home from school and get asked how school was instead of being yelled at the second I walk in the door. Just one time I want to feel loved. I just want to know that my own parents actually care. Just one time I want you to ask me about my grades, about sports, about the music I listen to. Ask me anything.
But I also want to thank you. Thank you for teaching me that I only need myself to succeed, because you were never there for me, not a single time. I learned that I only needed to make myself happy, and that is exactly what I’m doing. I do not need you anymore, and that’s pretty sad, but you pushed me away. Congrats!
So to the parents who didn’t believe in me, who didn’t hear me crying myself to sleep, who didn’t notice all the weight I lost, who didn’t come support me at my sporting events, or show up to parent teacher conferences, thank you. Thank you for making a 17 year old hate life so much that all she wants is for it to end, all because you didn’t support and believe in her. Thank you.
Jan 20, 2016
Jan 20, 2016 at 10:31 PM UTC
dear you,
hi.
you may be a stranger reading this random letter out of nowhere but to me you are a friend.
so, how is life hitting on you? i bet we’re on different edges of the boat but i’m pretty sure we’re both struggling to reach the end.
i know we’re both on that part where fear slowly creeps our heart acupuncturing all its veins until we both become numb of the pain.
or maybe it’s just me?
this time my friend, can you stay with me until the end? it may cost our lives but please just for a while, can we stop?
can we share this moment of silence, look at each other and let our eyes speak all our feelings buried within the hidden parts of our soul?
can we pretend like we’ve known each other for a long time now and let us talk to each other for a while?
let us please share this time we’ve got and believe that it’s just the two of us in this world,
- in this world we’re both trying to escape.
my friend, please let me borrow your precious time.
let us share this moment to scream to the world our grief because really, i cannot contain it anymore.
i have long been trying to be strong but it’s not enough
i have long been trying to be brave but it’s not enough
i have long been trying to be loved but it’s not enough
i have long been trying to give up but i can’t
i have long been shouting at myself to stop thinking and expecting but I can’t
i have long been wanting to stop
but I can’t.
my eyes were shedding tears for two days now and as much as i wanted to stop it, i can’t.
forgive me for being weak and coward for sharing this to you, dear.
forgive me.
but if it isn’t too much, when words aren’t enough for us to comfort each other, when silence is all there is, when the hands of the clock are now starting to move, can you please share your tears with me?
can we cry together?
can we shout to the mountains, to the seas, to the trees, to all the living things God created, our deepest pains?
can we throw them all the words we have long been wanting to say to the people who hurt us?
can we cry out loud, shout out loud, scream out loud until we feel our heart beats so fast because of all the ***** life had thrown upon us?
and when we’re tired of crying,
my friend,
when our knees cannot help us stand anymore,
when we can longer hear our voice..
let the gravity pulls us,
and together,
let’s look at the vastness of the sky, close our eyes and feel the last drop of tears in our face and whisper,
**** this ****
Oct 25, 2015
Oct 25, 2015 at 6:31 AM UTC