#oldie
I see so clearly now
That I've had some time
Living in a separate realm
Somewhere I cannot find
Do not know where your mind is at
Only focus on one thing most of the day
Where do your thoughts go when you're well?
When you're high and your problems drift away?
I long to know where your heart goes
Often it runs somewhere far
It's there more than here with me
Some distant planet or star
To follow is my desire
Where my hands can reach
With not just physically
Aim to practice what I preach
The way you turn emotions off
Only a moment of dissent
Has me hiding so maybe you won't see
A thick yet transparent loosely guarded discontent
Cried many tears for you
Added up and washed my sight
Point of view began to change
Presently I realize that it wasn't right
The way life lived day-to-day
May not have noticed back then
Should have noticed a lot sooner
Of your flaws
It was easier to pretend
Well guess I should regret that now
A few years down the road I will
Hard to explain
Despite all the games
Do it all again for you still
You and I have something unique
Heart has never felt love this strong
Blind I may have been when we met
Still feel your arms are where I belong
To say I love is an understatement
Blame cupid
Making me fall
Maybe Aphrodite
Or St. Valentine
Has me heeding to your every call
Maybe it is the universe
Pushing us close with an invisible force
No cause for my attraction to you
Guess destiny is just running its course
Your behavior proves to be unchanging
Lose more you each day we make it through
More than 1/2 of your presence
Need to have all of you
Nov 16, 2020
Nov 16, 2020 at 5:59 PM UTC
Tonight
Bury who I was
Down beneath the dirt
Laying rest to lost innocence I will never get back
Begin the funeral procession
Pay respects to another naive heart
Poet who felt too much
One dreamer who still believed true love existed
Close the casket
Lower me in
Girl I used to be is gone
Below six feet of mistrust and betrayal
She died the moment you left
Aug 10, 2020
Aug 10, 2020 at 2:21 AM UTC
I am done with heartfelt tears
Tired of hiding my pain
Self-pitying routine of mine
Driving me insane
Smiling at you will no longer hurt me
You won't make me cry
Not going to waste my time
Thinking about goodbye
I will not wish another day
One more chance with you
It's not going to help anything
Doesn't matter what I do
And step by step I see slow change
Sometimes you compliment me
The other day you ruffled my hair
So different from how we used to be
I refuse to whine because we are friends
That's more than nothing at all
Heart still missing the love disappeared
Yet too afraid to fall
I am alone
But not yet lonely
A little fearful of heartache
I don't need somebody new
Just need a little break
Mar 20, 2020
Mar 20, 2020 at 2:54 PM UTC
It is not what I wanted
How could it be?
It doesn't go the way you have planned
Out in your mind
You want to have faith
In fantasy
But reality will never be a movie screen you get
To play delusions on
Being broken
Hurt
Is not how I wished
It would end
And you might be able to pick your battles
But you will never decide who wins
Feb 28, 2020
Feb 28, 2020 at 3:20 AM UTC
Tic toc tic toc
Its time to make a heart stop
Clock at 12, noon has struck
Time to make a body drop
Outrun by the mighty father time
Crashing down from way up top
Tic toc tic toc
Its time to watch a body flop
Cause of death
Time ran out
Out of breath
Cry and shout
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 7:53 PM UTC
You promised you'd always be there
When the sun became too bright to see
That you would get me a blindfold, pull down the shades
Until senses came to be
You promised that you'd save me from harm
If problems ever arose
Wrap me in strong arms
Fight away frightening foes
You promised me a thrilling ride
Living life in the moment free
No cares left in our lovestruck brains
Only thought there: you and me
Now you've broken us with lies
Stomped emotions out into the ground
I am sadly watching beloved memories
Falling with empty promises down
Nov 24, 2018
Nov 24, 2018 at 11:07 PM UTC
There is a flicker of distant laughter
Inside my darkened mind
But it is in a place
I cannot seem to find
Nov 19, 2018
Nov 19, 2018 at 7:03 AM UTC
A simple stroke stemming from a heart-planted seed
Ice white and sky blue freezing every generated thought to one with its chills
Intertwining shades of brown fuchsia splattered to a black space - manifesting into dreams
Blue, yellow, and purple churning with hydrochloric acid forming butterflies
Pulse shooting through into the darkened mesosphere darkening fuchsia's mark
Darkened fuchsia turned deep red lustful passion
An unfathomable crescendo beading sweat with final strikes
Reaching the thermosphere - revealing an exclusive sight of our aurora
It hangs in the gallery "Of Our True Selves"
The finish product is almost disappointing
+ crowned saint
circa 2015
Jul 18, 2018
Jul 18, 2018 at 4:20 PM UTC
oh you know, anxiety.
the feeling everybody gets
when they get a turn at the printing center
the feeling everybody gets
when they need to ask the waiter for an extra napkin
the feeling everybody gets
when they have to tell the teacher they don’t understand the difference between mass and atomic number
the feeling everybody gets
when they’re the next to pay in line
the feeling i was fine with feeling;
until i found out... nobody else feels this way.
Oct 25, 2017
Oct 25, 2017 at 10:44 PM UTC
tempted to hit you up just so you can make
my emotions go
numb again.
Apr 18, 2017
Apr 18, 2017 at 9:16 PM UTC
you're the gem I've been looking for in this rough called
life.
Apr 18, 2017
Apr 18, 2017 at 9:14 PM UTC
as long as the flames of passion burn on,
the walls of ice will melt
though once the ice is melted,
the flames will go out
it's a cold hot love -- one felt in the heart
it'll pull and tear at you until it rips you apart
Mar 25, 2017
Mar 25, 2017 at 12:11 AM UTC
i still look back on the days i called you mine
i loved you and the feeling was mutual
until a year passed, and the sun set on a chilly autumn night
i could no longer call you mine
your love for me had faded
and you were looking at someone else the same way you looked at me
months have passed
but it feels like years
i still love you
and i always will
but without you i feel lost
no longer knowing who or what to believe in
i close my eyes
praying for the day when i can call you mine
because in my mind
in my soul
you still are.
Nov 20, 2015
Nov 20, 2015 at 10:42 PM UTC
The view
before me:
a sky
comprised
of sky like
Attenborough
sea side
Rice krispies
and water
between us
St. Petersburg
3-6
Blue shifts
bluey pinks
meet clementine
licks violet
amidst the creatures
swimming in the
deep of the fermament
Aug 28, 2015
Aug 28, 2015 at 10:18 PM UTC
You’d wake up before sunrise
because you said you couldn’t sleep.
Not that you liked watching outside
nor the light creep,
and you certainly were't interested
in watching the earth bloom.
There was nothing magnificent enough out there
nor in the bedroom.
You couldn't speak to me; said it was too early.
"There's no place like home."
"I've got to get out of here."
You swore to yourself you'd be gone
by the end of the year.
So yes, it's my fault, I can't be what you need.
I can't compare to the beauty of what your reality seeks.
Then I guess i'm not meant for you;
I'm not your friend
your addiction
nor as strong as your ****
The sky was inadequate
without the stars;
nothing compared to the way they gleam.
But you’d say that I’m the one
with no dreams.
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 7:13 PM UTC
I stand with my head held high,
My eyes seeking the blue laced sky,
Makes me wonder day by day,
But I keep my words off the bay,
But now I sing through my pen,
And I hope to see you until then.
Apr 7, 2013
Apr 7, 2013 at 7:56 PM UTC
is that how you feel?
this is how you're feeling? And you tell me your mind is reeling and you can't keep your head straight
and that's why you need to be *********
and I could never mean more to you I couldn't mean a thing to you
my addiction keeps getting fed from every word you ever said
and you say you know you say you know me
so if you know me why would you hurt me and why do you keep me seizing
grasping
clutching for something that's not even there
you care
you say you care you want me to share why I get so angry why I get so frustrated
why I get SO ******* FED UP
your words I hold onto
and the words you never say
and you'll never say because you're not in the mood
you're never in the mood to open yourself up
to me
you say you know me
you say you know me better than I know me
MY GOD you
**** ME
OFF
and claw at my mind with your words that I find so alluring
and I find you so alluring
and you're beautiful
and that mind
your mind
**** your mind
and you ****** me with your mind
and ideas
and plans
and then you use your hands
and I'm caught again.
Oct 15, 2014
Oct 15, 2014 at 10:00 PM UTC
My infatuation has turned to suffocation.
A year in the making is running me down.
My craving for another human's attention
is disgusting inspiration.
I surrender the game.
Well played.
Oct 14, 2014
Oct 14, 2014 at 10:33 PM UTC