#oldestdaughter
My mother tells me she is impressed that I always seem to land on my feet, but I don't have the heart to tell her
that I never fell
I came out hold her on my shoulders
and as I aged I added each member of my family
and then still others that I either drug up and forced to stand upon the pile just to say that someone chose me or people that snuck up on me
preyed on me
waited until I was about to regain my balance just to jump atop the pile of the "I need you to"s and sink my squat so low that my feet are firmly planed shoulder width apart, knee joins fully collapsed, pushing the floor away with pure balance and the fear of the fall.
I have not landed at all.
Dec 9, 2025
Dec 9, 2025 at 9:25 PM UTC
I went to bed early
I got eight hours of sleep
But I still don't understand why I don't mean to people,
what people mean to me
I sacrifice anything for the ones
I hold close
They don't care what I lose,
and I'm not often chose
I know they don't ask me to but
I like to show that I care,
I can't help feeling unloved when I'm down and nobody's there
I've thrown away people, and money, and time just to make sure my
people are perfectly fine
But if I speak my mind when
I've been insulted
then I'm disrespectful and
need to **** off then
Jun 6, 2025
Jun 6, 2025 at 7:32 AM UTC
I want
Younger me
To see me Succeed
in our dream.
That is what my answer should be,
But instead its
I have to make my father proud
Of me.
I want to hear those words slip from his mouth
That he is proud.
I strive
with everything I do in life,
From the pen that I write
To steps I take.
Everyday,
My goal is to hear him say
He is proud.
That is all I want in the end.
All my hard work
My grades
My life
Down to the outfits,
I want it from his lips,
His mouth
to speak,
I AM PROUD.
Oct 7, 2024
Oct 7, 2024 at 11:36 PM UTC
I am the oldest daughter,
I just wish i could be better at it.
Even though i have reasons for my actions,
Still alone with my guilt i sit.
I feel responsibilities,
That are not meant for me.
And when things are out of my control,
There's no way i can let it be.
I was raised a soldier,
Who felt like i needed to lead an army.
So now when it seems like i failed,
I hide it away but feel it sharply.
Sometimes i feel more like a parent,
Than my real parents are.
Even though i need being a child the most,
And everyday i'm fighting a mental war.
I am the monster,
I am trying to protect them from.
I hate the way i destroy,
When it's a healer i want to become.
Even though it's safe,
I still look out for the danger that may be.
Just to see,
That the only danger there really is,
Is me.
-anoeska
Sep 24, 2024
Sep 24, 2024 at 6:31 AM UTC