#notesapppoetry
i want someone to call me babe
in a way that they really mean it
i want someone to pull me into their arms
look me right in the eyes
and call me babe
like im their whole world
like i could really do no wrong
that they would always look at me as im in the stars
i want to be told that im the light of someones life
i want them to call me babe
lovingly, teasingly, sweetly
i want the sweet caresses
the gentle touches
the sneaky glances
i want someone to call me babe
i want them to really mean it
i dont want it just platonically
i want it romantically too
i want it gently
whispered to me over the phone
or in passing conversation
i want it to feel fulfilling
loving and sweet
i want someone to call me babe
and to really mean it
to know that someone wants me to be theirs
in that way
its different
i used to think it was corny
but now i crave it
yearn for it like a late night snack
or the warmth of moms hot chocolate
i think i want it so badly
because i know it would fit me just right
Nov 28, 2022
Nov 28, 2022 at 2:37 PM UTC
tomorrow's my birthday
the day i more or less have been waiting for
and yet
i don't seem to care anymore
why celebrate something
that comes every year
i guess it's monumental
i'll be of legal age
i can drink... in mexico
i can sign up for dating apps
i can vote
but
why celebrate something
that comes every year
i am working after all
and the day after that
my feet already ache
i can barely stay afloat
and apparently i'm being missed???
so
why celebrate something
that comes every year
Jul 24, 2021
Jul 24, 2021 at 6:37 PM UTC
I brush my teeth like I’m getting ready for war.
Or I forget to for three days
until my canines are wearing sweaters.
Temu moisturizer like battle paint.
Who knows what’s in there.
Who cares.
Upside-down Claddagh on my ring finger like a threat.
And it might be.
I put my hair up like a woman with secrets—
on the days I brush it.
A bumpy bun the rest of the time.
I shed like a stripper.
I strip like a thief.
I walk out the garage door like I invented sorrow.
I get in my car
like every song from Reputation to Tortured Poets
was written for me.
I wave to strangers like I’m about to die.
Cross the street like it’s a choice.
Clock into work like I have a hit on my head.
I **** Elf Bars like they’ve got confessions inside,
and blow out like they won’t give me cancer—
because they can tell
I approach them with pure intentions
and a positive spirit.
I know how to make an exit
that feels like a funeral.
I know how to hold a coffee cup
like I’m accepting an award
no one else can see.
I take bites of dropped chocolate chip cookies
but spit them out before they ruin me.
I spend too long staring at my own reflection,
just to make sure I still exist.
I catalog new moles.
Curse the milia above my eyelids.
Buzz off my mustache.
Denounce my chin hairs.
I think thin.
Sometimes I blink
just to feel time move.
I keep novels in my bag like armor,
and a journal like a last will and testament.
The expensive pens from Amazon
that don’t crawl up my left hand
like a disease.
That don’t smudge the page
like I have something to hide.
I pay for Spotify.
Skip the songs that hurt.
Play the one that ruins me.
I cry on the train
like I’m filming something important.
Because I will be.
I want everything I feel
to mean something.
I want every single ache to echo.
I want my poems
reverberating in the minds of people
who are emotionally legendary.
I want the world to apologize
for not feeling it first.
Sometimes I walk
like I’m being watched
by everyone who’s ever left me.
Sometimes I smile
like I know something God doesn’t.
Sometimes I think I was born
just to document
what it means to be alive
in the most dramatic possible way.
Because I am the first girl
to ever feel anything.
Mar 28, 2025
Mar 28, 2025 at 9:16 AM UTC
even in the midst of chaos
the beating of mine own heart
is the loudest noise of them all
amongst the frenzy
the pounding in my chest
still makes me feel alone
a quiet breath
a shaky grin
i hide behind it all
to put others at ease
and to silence my own thoughts
i beat against the silence
the way my heart beats against me
craving, desiring, feasting
will it ever end or
will i finally put myself at ease
i swear that im okay
i keep my own mind at bay
and yet it does nothing
to cure the restless beat of mine heart
it is frantic
it is controlling
it is god
and i am a mere mortal
Oct 10, 2025
Oct 10, 2025 at 1:39 AM UTC