#notenough
I fill the spaces in between
Not quite enough of anything
Not quite smart enough
Not quite pretty enough
Not popular enough to be 'popular'
I fill in the cracks and dark spaces between
Floating between everything
Friends
Hobbies
Not quite happy
Not quite sad
A cup half full
Or half empty
Not this or that
But sitting on the line
The broken parts of my mind
Fracture
Into the cracks I fill and
I don't belong, because
In a world of whole
I am half.
May 12
May 12, 2026 at 1:50 PM UTC
How are you not to be damaged,
When the one that you think is supposed to love,
Doesn't really love you.
I mean it feels like there is supposed to be some sort of unwritten rule somewhere
That states if you have a a kid you must love them.
I'm not just talking about muttering those three little words.
That can be scribbled on paper, or typed in an email.
I'm talking about a deep rooted, carved in your heart, can be felt from across the world, no mistaking, pure and sacrificial love.
Tangible love, seen, and felt, and heard.
No I don't need money from you.
I would prefer to feel like I'm worth knowing
Rather than the feeling of my forgiveness being bought.
See how am I supposed to feel that others in life will like me,
If my own parent doesn't care to even know me.
Yes the world is a wonderful place and I understand the feeling of being caged.
So wouldn't it have been better in the beginning if you had never even made the effort?
So that when you decided that the world was worth more
and that I was just an anchor to a place you didn't care for.
Wouldn't it have been easier for me,
Instead of feeling like I was a piece of trash tossed over your shoulder missing the waste basket because you didn't even care to look as you threw it.
Not even put in a rightful place, left to wonder is it something I did wrong?
Only to grow up and find out it was much worse
it wasn't anything I did, it is the simple fact that I wasn't enough.
Wasn't enough for you, to much work to wipe off my ***** face.
Wasn't enough for you to pick up and kiss the ****** knee that I scrapped.
Wasn't enough for you to watch me as I grew, to give me advice on making life's toughest decisions.
Wasn't enough for you to see that although it was good for you to escape the cage from which you felt confined to,
you didn't realize that I had followed you in, and on your way out without so much as a backwards glance, you locked me in.
Maybe I got it wrong.
Maybe there shouldn't be some unwritten rule that makes you love your children.
Because there shouldn't be anything that makes you love.
Maybe I just need to realize that some people are loved and others just aren't.
Some people are capable of loving.
Some are only capable of hurting those who have a twisted look on life
Thinking that by just being someone's own flesh and blood qualifies to being loved.
Only to be taught the truth.
It doesn't.
Sep 30, 2012
Sep 30, 2012 at 2:09 PM UTC
The feeling of emptiness I feel is incomparable to any kind of pain.
The feeling of disgust you have for me is eating away at me. How much I wish I had you by my side. How much I wish everything could go back to the way it was before, when it was just you and me and nothing else mattered, when I was your only certainty among a thousand, when you always wrote to me, even at night.
What has changed? Am I not enough for you? What I do is never enough, it's eating away at my soul. How much I wish I could hate you right now, you have no **** idea. I just wish I could erase you from my life, pretend you never existed. Why do you do this to me? How many tears have I shed for you, and how many words I write for you when I'm not even one of your frequent thoughts. I just want you to reciprocate. That's all I miss is what we had. I would go back a thousand times over. I want you so much that you're my constant thought. I can't stop thinking about you and me and what I wish would happen. I miss you so much, please come back to me, please, I need it.
Mar 17
Mar 17, 2026 at 6:25 PM UTC
Love my fluffy friend more than stranger parents.
My innocent friend, don’t follow trend,
Always same, always bland,
Soaked in invisible blood
stains.
Soul bleeds, life is a mess.
Fairytale is a home, lifelong bless.
World demands unaddressed sacrifice,
Always it scales the less.
Providers have the crown of madness, laser light of so much pride
More than the Almighty?
On the pointed light, we search a corner to hide.
They demand exchange,
More obedience than so little guidance,
From every way possible.
Aren’t we kids human?
Not all-rounder in every syllable.
In this so called perfect world not everything is doable.
Mock your looks, the love for your academic books.
They say nothing matters
Losers can't fight
That’s how each night
A fragile heart shatters.
Not everyone is a topper,
A beauty with wisdom ,
Chef, also good vegetable chopper.
Not a full-time cleaner,
Not a extraordinary kid and to whom world says clever
Work all time, no exchange of wages,
The meter of scale never truly changes.
Pillow, the transparent pain you swallow,
Leaves my tired eyes hollow.
It hurts so much I can’t sleep,
Biting my dear pillow, I silence my broken weep.
Tried to keep
All your demands in my hand , it stabbed too deep.
It bleeds every day,
Searching for the Almighty
In the clouds, swaying leaves
Who never demands, only gives.
Buried my sleep
I was never meant to keep.
Gave up spectacles who promised better sight
World laughs, they don’t like.
(A) gets mockery over the study of hours after cleaning, chopping, cooking, being a best kid
I dropped the lid of life
Dropped my clingy weight —
Scale wants only 45.
Still, world says to little ones,
“Don’t be like her, she is 1 out of 85.”
A soft pillow, where we search for comfort,
We blame the illegal claim.
Pain sings by every broken chord.
Where is pain? Yearn for God.
So near, but so far,
Lord of scale up there
But here, scale is the only proof,
Charges rent in obedience,
Reward is just a roof.
Here heart stays unkept.
I am stuck in Life debt.
Mar 2
Mar 2, 2026 at 12:45 AM UTC
Why doesn't anyone care about me like I do?
Loving is lethal, my world revolves around you, but isn't that enough, right?
Keep wondering what the future will bring, without realizing it, you'll understand that I was here, we could have been something.
Why am I not enough for you?
Why do you keep belittling yourself in the meanest ways?
When you understand what you were, are, and will be, the hands of the clock will mark the end of an unrequited, broken, and exhausting love.
Feb 4
Feb 4, 2026 at 4:10 PM UTC
I wanna be perfect
but my actions
say too bad
I wanna get good grades
but my brain
says too bad
I wanna be not a problem
but my family
says too bad
all I am for is
to solve em
but not my own
I wanna live my life right
but the heart
says too bad
I feel so sad
I'm just a kid
please don't make the hope
I need go away
but my dreams
say too bad
I wanna be loved
but my friends
say to bad
but the truth is
my actions
my brain
my family
my heart
my dreams
my friends
don't say to bad
I do
I walk around
so sad because
I give up
on making my walk
on the earth worth
so I give up
and say there's
no point
in good days
I don't try anyways
but too mad but too sad too bad
Feb 1
Feb 1, 2026 at 12:36 PM UTC
I look into the mirror
and I see something ugly.
Not just the face,
but the person behind it.
There’s something wrong in my eyes,
something heavy in my skin.
I try to find beauty,
but all I see is everything I wish I wasn’t.
I smile, sometimes,
to pretend I’m human,
but even my smile looks fake,
like it knows the truth I’m hiding.
People say I should love myself.
I try.
I really do.
But it feels like loving a wound
that never stops bleeding.
And then I see them.
The beautiful ones.
The ones with black eyeliner and confidence,
the ones who look like art and ruin at the same time.
The goth girls, the dark angels.
They wear their sadness like something holy.
I wish I looked like them.
I wish I was one of them.
But when I compare myself,
I become smaller and smaller
until I almost disappear.
It hurts,
knowing how easily others can be adored
for what I’ll never be.
I’m just… here.
Plain. Wrong. Forgettable.
Every word I speak
feels too loud, too wrong.
Every breath feels borrowed.
I’m tired of trying to look like someone
who deserves to exist.
The mirror doesn’t lie.
It just shows me what I already know:
I am the wrong kind of person,
wearing a face I can’t stand to see.
Nov 7, 2025
Nov 7, 2025 at 5:49 PM UTC
For the gardener
Tends to his roses
He waters them
At the day's dawn
They budded
Beneath his fingers
But only bloomed
At the touch of the fawn
Aug 6, 2025
Aug 6, 2025 at 2:04 AM UTC
There’s something about the black woman in I.
There’s something about the Black woman in I that I can’t figure out.
And there was a time where I spent my days basking in this not knowing situation.
A time when I blamed the men and women around me—
The people who couldn’t see what I wanted them to see but…
How would they see what I can’t?
I kept crying about how disrespectful ****** were to me,
How the women around me didn’t understand the feeling of not feeling enough,
How I blamed myself for everything that was happening because of me.
And yes,
If it was because of me,
Then I am at fault
And should blame myself for it.
But the picture is bigger than that.
It’s tougher than that.
It’s darker than that.
A few years later,
There’s still something about the Black woman in I that I can’t figure out.
Always complacent.
Always trying to be soft after a life of being the hardest rock.
Always trying to be mellow jazz when I was the heaviest metal.
Always trying to be touched like a piano,
But I kept on being the drums.
I’m still my own weakness, you know?
Now I’m not lying to anyone—
I’m just lying to myself.
I walk in this made-up power that I’m supposed to have,
And I built a whole bridge out of it… but it always trembles.
“You’re so beautiful for being a Black woman.”
It trembles.
“Oh, you’re so well-spoken for coming from the hood!”
It trembles.
“Are you sure you didn’t have any help making this?”
It trembles.
“You’ll never be like her.”
And it trembles.
Still, I keep walking over that bridge because—
I need to fake it until I make it, right?
I’m so tired of faking it.
I’m so tired of feeling this way.
I’m tired of being policed over my blackness,
Over my hair and my body,
Over my womanhood and my mind,
Over my sad little soul.
Still, I keep going through it,
In the hopes that I find what I want to find in the end.
“Oh, what do you want to find?”
…
Oh, dear heart.
We were supposed to walk on lilies and green grass.
I’m sorry that we can’t.
Eight years later,
There’s something about the black woman in I that I still can’t figure out.
And just like before…
I never will.
Jun 22, 2025
Jun 22, 2025 at 11:07 AM UTC
I saw you today.
Your shoulders filled the frame.
Your eyes looked like pools of hope.
I looked away every three seconds,
pinched myself—
Is this real?
I spoke to you yesterday.
We laughed.
Intimacy is scary.
The faceless souls on the internet
make me feel safe.
They don’t know how I look,
how my hair flies everywhere.
It’s easier, you see.
They’ll never see my thighs,
or squirm at my nose.
But you—
you will see it all.
You are the sun,
and I am the moon.
I’m scared of the eclipse.
When everyone photographs it,
I stay hidden under covers.
How can I tell you?
How can I tell you
about the dreams and demons?
You are so bright—
I’m scared I won’t help the shine.
Jun 8, 2025
Jun 8, 2025 at 2:07 PM UTC
I’m sorry I got that question wrong.
I’m sorry I can't move on.
I’m sorry I'm not smarter.
I’m sorry I couldn't be stronger.
I’m sorry how I take on as much as I can
only to ***** it all up.
And I’m sorry I couldn't find the man
inside my empty cup.
I’m sorry I waste my time away
trying to find a dreamy way
to happiness
when of course,
there's no such thing.
I’m sorry I don't talk much anymore
or that I let on how my heart is sore
from all the roughness
and how it keeps beating
without a source.
In fact, I must confess,
I am dying under boundless stress.
Each day my depression attacks,
reopening these countless cracks.
So many times have I walked this hall
feeling so weak and so small,
bracing for a final fall
just waiting till my lifeline snaps,
like any second I’ll collapse,
but of course I never do,
I know better than that.
But if I were to give my final words today,
this is exactly what I would say.
But that I won't undergo
I suppose you’ll never know
how sorry I am that there's nothing I’m on top of
and for dormantly letting endless piles of work tower above.
And how I’m sorry for caring more than I should
and letting myself be so consumed.
I’m sorry for impeding the impedeless
and for hoping in the hopeless.
And finally,
most especially,
I am sorry
for wanting to be so important
and that I became nothing but torment.
I am sorry for wanting so hard to be heard
when it's clear I’ll only ever come third.
I’m sorry for thinking I could matter
or that I could make things better.
I am sorry for believing
that I could amount to anything
at all.
Mar 7, 2025
Mar 7, 2025 at 9:01 PM UTC
i want to write
i want to fill this empty page with brilliant words
i want to blow people away with my witty metaphors and symbolism
but i cant seem to get it out
trust me I have so much to say
too many thoughts
too many unfinished poems
just sitting,
unpolished,
unperfect,
unacceptable,
it's either too wordy or not wordy enough,
too meticulous or not meticulous enough,
doesn't rhyme at all or doesn't rhyme the way i want it to
i want to be good like all the others i see on here
but i just cant seem to measure up
Dec 16, 2024
Dec 16, 2024 at 10:38 PM UTC
Girl
Daughter
Sister
Cousin
Have you noticed how from the moment we are born we are given names.
Descriptions that bare the weight of expectations placed onto tiny shoulders that cannot yet hold up the weight of the body they have?
As we grow those name, those descriptions they grow in number and become heavier too.
Girl
Daughter
Sister
Cousin
Woman
Friend
Partner
Wife
Mother
Caregiver
Provider
Placed upon our shoulders is the weight of every person we care about.
We, as females, are charged with caring for them all.
This is what the world expects from us.
Perfection is what we try to force from ourselves on behalf of everyone else.
Often we loose ourselves in the fray,
always expected to make it work,
sort it out,
fix it,
listen,
empathize,
understand
and so much more.
Yet for all of this, when we have little left to give;
when the weight becomes to much and our hardened shells crack,
letting out a little of what we ourselves feel, we are told we're
over emotional,
dramatic,
To just calm down,
it's not such a huge deal.
Except that it is...
While we are everything for everyone, more often than not we are alone in our burdens.
So while we give others what they need to be okay;
we do not get the same in return.
See, being a good woman is the
thankless job
that society has given us...
Dec 5, 2024
Dec 5, 2024 at 4:32 PM UTC
look at her, they say.
so polite and hardworking.
I reply with an okay-
and try to be like her.
look at her smiling on the stage, they say.
shining with a grade 8 in piano.
I reply with an okay-
and mold myself into someone they'll like.
look at her grades, they say.
getting top marks in every subject possible.
I reply with an okay-
but I'll always be inferior.
and they say, that's just how life works. </3
Sep 5, 2024
Sep 5, 2024 at 3:13 AM UTC
too many lies have made me blind
i'm just trying to make myself feel and be better, but i wasn't a great partner.. always two sides to the story
she pointed out things i already knew about myself, i'm not perfect but i try to be patient with myself... if I could I would've rushed the process
i'm worth it, yes... i think... but sometimes it doesn't feel like i'm worth my next breath of air
i've always had an issue with that until it backfired, one bullet turns into 100
right at me, if they were real i wouldn't try to dodge
questioning the "logic" behind these emotions
imaginary weight? but it's dragging me down before the sun rises again
i don't have anything to believe in, i'm not the one for her... is what she's decided
nothing is right for me... after endless mental agony
facts don't make me feel better, but it's good to be honest
always better to be honest... things are **** at the moment
there's nothing to do but live through it again
i was... dumb to think otherwise
they say to step away at first sign, but you always want to try to fight it
for the sake of making things work, even if they don't
i've given up plenty of times, this time it feels like i shouldn't again
when i should, again
here it comes
i get it, i get it
ahhhhhhhhhhh
yes i'm flawed... i know... i'm still... growing eww
sooner or later
"just let her go"
it's so simple... she's vanished
and it wasn't meant to be, but i thought she was the one to settle down with afterall
she's hung up on an image, multiples
if it makes me feel better, believe it
she just wasn't into me
just focus.. on living, not just exisiting
imagine loving someone that doesn't love you back
thinking about a certain future that's been taken away
my mind is lost right now.... i'll let it run for a bit until i can catch upppp
dreams unlived
i dreamt about our kids last night and I forgot to tell you
an ending with too many photos to feel alive to
Jul 26, 2022
Jul 26, 2022 at 5:23 PM UTC
I guess I'm not enough for you
Those nights I stayed up
Those things I said
The things I did
Never enough for anyone
People will always want more
Things aren't like how they used to be
You can try, and try, all you want
But everything will never be enough
Jun 8, 2021
Jun 8, 2021 at 7:27 AM UTC
I just need more.
I need one more night with you
because I miss the way you feel.
I miss the way your lips feel so right
The way you make me melt when you smile at me
The way I feel when you send me a message
The way it makes me smile when you think of me
The way it makes me feel when I think of you.
I didn't get enough, so I need more.
I need more butterflies when you accidentally touch my leg
or sit closer to me than I think you mean too
or laugh at my jokes
or whisper to me when our friends are yelling
or even when you look at me like I'm a camera on a tv show.
I can't believe that you make me feel this way.
And I can't believe it's gone.
I need more.
Can I have more?
Can we just have five more minutes?
May 5, 2021
May 5, 2021 at 1:44 AM UTC
Is it my fault?
Told me to give you another chance
Gaining the love, so that you know this could be real
I can't even tell you how I feel
You gave up the love and sealed it as a deal
I did not even agree to give up everything
How could you do this to me?
A month later telling me you found someone
Made me give you love that you didn't even want
I told you everything I´ve been through
Held on to this ****
I thought you could help me make it
The love I gave, then you go ahead and break it
I still smile and act like what you didn't hurt
Affects me more coming from a best friend that I loved
You finding out they didn't
You needed to better yourself
But wasn't the love I gave to you enough
That you had to go ahead and find someone else
Is it because I'm not privileged as people
Can´t go out, so what's the point in loving me?
Is that what you think?
As your best friend, I give you more than enough love
Then any other girl can
You wanted my love
Then you couldn't wait for me
What can that girl do to replace anything of me?
Had me playing your games, leading me in
Falling for your ways, that never should have been
Playing your games
Got me low in the rain
Thinking how you made the biggest mistake
Played me as a fool
You broke me in a way
You hurt me for showing me how you play
Got me thinking you win
I may have hurt you before
But hitting me like this
Is something that can never be undone
Trust me this type of **** isn't fun.
Mar 10, 2021
Mar 10, 2021 at 10:24 AM UTC
You wouldn't know,
How much love I'm holding in my heart for you,
And I'll never show,
Cause I know I'm not made for you,
Though when I feel alone,
It's only you that I want to turn to.
Jul 7, 2020
Jul 7, 2020 at 1:06 PM UTC
“i’ll always choose him”
her voice rolled like thunder
the words struck me like lightning
the raindrops falling down my face
as i watch the wind carry my love away.
it becomes too much to bare
i become a storm cellar, attempting to lock my emotions away.
but the storm is too much,
my love for her consumes me like a surfer in the middle of a hurricane.
i don’t know how to control it.
like the waves my mind is slowly crashing
i’m scared, lost, and confused.
i’m in the middle of nowhere, yet i still scream for help.
somehow i see her and we lock eyes.
she becomes a tornado as she wraps me up,
only to leave me worse then when she found me.
for some reason i can’t convince myself to leave her.
i hold on to the fact that after every storm there’s still a rainbow.
i just wonder if it’ll be you.
Jun 8, 2020
Jun 8, 2020 at 4:29 PM UTC
picture the pieces of yourself
that you spent hours picking apart
for every flaw and imperfection
for every blemish, every mark.
double them as plasters,
band-aids stuck to shield the wounds
made by your mistakes,
by your infractions.
they weren't good enough.
sticking to your skin
like leaves off branches,
baring crimson and flesh torn open.
Jun 6, 2020
Jun 6, 2020 at 1:39 AM UTC
My emotions are like water
Pouring out of a faucet
They sometimes are
Too hot
Too cold
Too much
Too little
And sometimes, they stop altogether
May 21, 2020
May 21, 2020 at 10:10 PM UTC
I wore our relationship like an old noose
Because I liked the feeling of the heaviness , the feeling of my breath slowly escaping me
But it was always my fault.
Your words spit fire leaving my heart aching
Your hand print rests on my skin as a reminder that I was wrong.
I apologize that I keep falling apart before your glue has time to dry.
But I’m tired and ashamed
My glue doesn’t want to stick anymore
I have kissed boys
Girls
People in between but lately
I’ve been kissing bottles
Their lips are colder than yours
The blade that kisses my wrist reminds me that I’m not alone Because I would rather bleed to know I’m alive then try to pick myself back up for you, but , I apologize for my broken heart.
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020 at 6:47 PM UTC