#nautical
i am tormented every night with the memories of friends i’ve never made. each night they hold me, laugh with me, and rejoice in how wonderful it is that we are all queer together. the little time we have feels so warm like a flag on a beach that’s been sitting and getting lightly bleached by the sun. i wake up salted with tears of laughter from the night before and find that all the party has gone. i feel cheated because each night i swear i’m getting closer and closer to actually swimming into their arms. but instead, this morning i am awoken again in a shock to find myself anchored down to a frosted sea. my heart has to reassess the world around and come to terms with the fact that what i submissively held in my glorious bathed-in-sunlight dreams last night, something i’ve always achingly yearned for, was simply never really found. yet i meekly believe that if i force my spiritually tired eyes shut for just a moment longer, i’ll sink through and i won’t be needing to be waking up cold and pitiful without my queer friends, and my soul asunder. i miss my queer friends so much, it hurts me. and each and every morning just feels worse. with each connection more meaningful and understanding than the last, it stabs me deep in my heart each morning knowing i have to let it sleep in the past. i don’t want yet another cruel reminder of something i want that i will never have. just because i’m used to the cold doesn’t mean i don’t enjoy the sunshine raining upon me, gracing my body with the warm and lulling arms of friendship that fill me with a love that is close to godly. i would do anything like sew my eyes shut and drown in pills just so i can see my friends for one warm minute again. yes, again. please dear god, again. to be held, to laugh, and to be understood again. nobody understands how much i miss my queer friends and i would rather sleep forever than be awake and coping with the weathering truth that this connection has been broken. because every time i try to find something real, it has led to me to places where judgement and alienation is all this androgynous heart can feel. the queer friends from my dreams have never once judged me. not once have they made me limp away from disapproving glances, forsaken me in crowds of dismissing masses, it has only ever been in my dreams that i have been given these soothing beautiful chances. i am always to be seen as neutered and sexless, but not as paradisical and ethereal as god intended. perhaps i do moor myself to the glacial shores of my mind because i feel safe in the cold that is close to the coast but i must realize there is only so much healing i can do on my own. in freezing winters, one needs warmth from friendly bodies to hold so i will wrap myself and continue to hold on to a hope. of a day where i find my queer friends, a day where i won’t be nippingly alone.
S. Azrael
Dec 19, 2025
Dec 19, 2025 at 10:30 PM UTC
Chum the waters.
Cast your widest net yet.
And secret away
all that "stupid" regret.
'cause I know you'll find
shiny stones in shadowed places.
And then you'll chase
my flicker
of light across their faces;
but nothing in that water
will reflect you quite like me.
Do you doubt that?
Fine.
Go search the whole sea.
Meanwhile I'll drift,
dreaming of you,
toward the horizon,
still asking myself why.
Always the sun, chasing the sky.
Dec 2, 2025
Dec 2, 2025 at 9:55 PM UTC
"Will you keep me warm?"
Saw the question in your eyes.
You were promising peace:
Smooth sailing, clear skies.
So I let your waves take me.
"Will you keep me warm?"
Pearls of guilt below your surface.
Turbulence our constant companion,
I grit my teeth; I'd win this race.
So I strained against your current.
"Will you keep me warm?"
The maelstrom split us open.
I lashed myself to the mast,
a captain with one oath left unspoken.
So I woke on barren shores.
Now ask me again.
"Will you keep me warm?"
And I'll sigh, bereft,
"I think not, my perfect storm."
Nov 22, 2025
Nov 22, 2025 at 11:03 PM UTC
Bravo (I Am Taking in Dangerous Goods)
You made me realize—
I’m taking in dangerous goods.
I see now I’m no longer an alpha
I’m a diver that you have to keep clear of.
(alpha means I have a diver down, keep clear)
I went overboard the ship
This is not acting.
I don’t need an Oscar.
(Oscar means man overboard.)
I hear your echo—
Altering my course to the right.
I called your Papa—
He said, “We’re all on board.
No turning back now.”
I asked if I should leave you.
He said, “He’s Charlie.
That answers everything.”*
(Charlie means yes.)
I saw your new girl, Sierra—
She looks like engines
Taking you back.
(Sierra means engines are astern.)
When I believed you were my Romeo—
(Though Romeo means nothing at all)—
You set me on fire.
(Juliet means keep clear—the ship’s aflame.)
It made me want to drink whiskey—
(Whiskey means I require assistance.)
It made me want to check into a hotel,
Fly off to India,
Or Quebec—
Just somewhere I can request free pratique—
Be the pilot of my own ship—
Out at sea, playing golf.
(Golf means I require a pilot.)
It’s too bad I don’t have an X-ray
To see your intentions.
(X-ray means stop carrying out your intentions.)
I thought about going back,
But I realized it’s November.
(November means no.)
I should move more like a man named Mike.
(Mike means stop.)
Even after doing the tango—
(Tango means keep clear)—
I’m still dragging my anchor—
(Yankee means I’m dragging my anchor)—
And I need your tug—
(Zulu means I require a tug.)
May 31, 2025
May 31, 2025 at 9:30 PM UTC
Mores the fool, me
To reach out without setting expectations
To harbor burgeoning hope
For planting the seedlings of love
Mores the fool, me
To hope for romance in a sea of transactional lust
To give port to the illusion
For watering my attraction
Mores the fool, me
To trust your words despite the signal flags
To give you berthing
For sheltering you against the storm
Mores the fool, me
To allow myself to fall for the obvious lies
To try and tie you to the dock
For bringing you upon my island
Mores the fool, me
Apr 4, 2025
Apr 4, 2025 at 5:05 AM UTC
~
*Time is a dark feeling
—the spell of a vanishing loveliness;
in the present mist
the imperatives in the wind
move less and less.
Haul away the anchor,
this is not a safe place.
Between insufficient coasts
—a land of look behind—
science is dead,
pessimism in the remaining oar,
and flies in the eyes of the Queen.
Their graves decorate the spine
on the east bank
they call Euthanasia,
each crucifix made of plasticine.
There's a discursive quality to the sea,
I can see the pearl fishermen,
the empty dancehall,
victims of latitude and eclipse.
I can see the tattered sleeves
of Edmund Fitzgerald and the pockets
of emptiness inside,
hoping to quell the hunger
of the cruelest month.
I can see an underwater country,
colonized by the unborn children
of pregnant African women
thrown off of slave ships
during the Middle Passage.
I can see myself sinking;
farewell my sorrow,
keeping precarious time
against a backdrop
of silence less and less;
its final sound being
that of seagulls
flying away into the distance
—a force of nature that’s
both solemn and inspirational
in equal parts.*
~
Dec 31, 2023
Dec 31, 2023 at 8:06 AM UTC
his leather palms grip the line
as the tuna fights for life.
it sings in psalms,
stinging strong,
shining in his eyes.
what use have you for words, o' fish?
o' tyrant of the sea?
your royal hues
of palace blues
defy all eulogy.
that string of silver, slicing fast
across his arching back
rends slivers til
the swells go still
or coils run out of slack.
and when that sun, that burning eye
sinks beneath the waves,
your wild run
of songs unsung
sets memories ablaze.
at last you rest, o' king of kings,
and glide toward the sky.
your final test
at his behest;
he's weeping as you die.
Jun 20, 2021
Jun 20, 2021 at 7:45 AM UTC
A blurred midnight blue landscape
Opens to you with a gleaming pebble
Of gilt and affection.
As sapphire waves beat the brazen boats
Bedded on shores of a thousand stains,
Encircled by nautical carapaces of a time unseen,
Prior to the reign of oceanic potentates and
The submarine souls which now tread
Haphazardly, thirsting for an iota of freedom amidst
A home long since ravaged.
Though, memory resides of a time before then,
As the undersea flaunted its life unsullied.
The folly of man an ironic query
To which desolation retorted
In the voice of Another.
Nov 29, 2020
Nov 29, 2020 at 7:53 AM UTC
Let the sails billow
Let the winds drum
Bring forth the waves
In the red setting sun
The future is still
A glassy sea comes
Now is not that time
In the red setting sun
Hold firm the stern
There's work to be done
If we are to see another
Red setting sun
Oct 28, 2020
Oct 28, 2020 at 10:42 AM UTC
I orchestrate your violent butterflies
Fluttering and morphing into bees with big eyes
"Honey shed your chitin and be mine"
Your guardian angel and savior so divine
The strings of your heart as my violin
My grand concerto hypnotized you to sin
Made me your deity, my boat your place of worship
I welcomed your unholiness aboard my precious ship
Sailed through the clouds and into the stars
Set off on a light-speed expedition to Mars
When we returned to wander the Earth's seas
I found myself a slave to all your pleas
Mistress of this vessel yet so caged and lonely
When did I feed you so much power over me?
She was mine but I didn’t recognize
Tainted and defiled because of my lies
Her body and sails were painted red and blue
To much better suit and satisfy you
Irreverence to your deity, desecration to my shrine
I could only watch while you took all that was mine
A glimpse of land and gardens so close
Sparked a flame of hope in my life of shadows
I sprouted wings and the sun began beaming
Lighting up the rocks where waves were crashing
I raised her sails with one final goal
To free myself and take back my control
With cold confidence, I steadied my helm, directed my bow
Crashed her down like Dawson to Davy in the depths below.
Aug 26, 2020
Aug 26, 2020 at 11:41 PM UTC
siren song
splash the jagged rocks
hopelessly incandescent
awaiting sailors call
from faraway isles
mermaid tails
iridescent scales
rainbow ripples
extend out
ships to sea
serpent teeth
from depths of black
sink into wood
cries fall deep
drowned
pirate swagger
cutlass clangs
of power
lustrous treasure
buried
open waves
breathless orange
skies of amethyst
and gold
ocean tales told
Jun 2, 2020
Jun 2, 2020 at 10:42 PM UTC
My lone, disheveled skiff is flooded
With moonlight. I am a real-life sea captain,
Wading off the shore of Life.
I have jettisoned my mighty oar,
I now lie on the hull, drowning
In a Champion's brew.
I miss my mates.
I'm sick of reminiscing w/ the stars
Of my friends, my crew,
Our complacency,
And the Great War.
Oct 8, 2017
Oct 8, 2017 at 6:09 PM UTC
tonight is strange.
you see,
i slept today
at a friend's house.
but now, cannot
sleep.
and when i say "slept"
i mean;
i laid there
in her blankets,
and thought of you.
and when i say
"thought of you"
i mean;
i wondered if
at that moment
you missed me too.
and when i say "wondered"
i mean;
i imagined your lips
against
my eyelids.
and when i say "against"
what i meant to say
was;
that i wished you
were held against
me.
and when i say "held"
i meant;
that i'll take your problems
and shoulder them
as My own.
but dear,
when i said
"problems"
what i meant to say
was that your
ink-stained fingernails
are god-crafted.
and by "ink"
you know
that i mean;
you've forever
left your mark
on me.
and by "mark"
i mean;
that you've drawn
in all the sides of
all the best poems.
and by "drawn"
i offer up;
that this is not
the first or last
time we fire one another
and scald the oceans.
tonight is strange,
indeed.
it's a good thing
You always know
what i'm really
trying to say.
Aug 17, 2017
Aug 17, 2017 at 4:42 AM UTC
Stopped on the shore
to snap a picture,
"can you pose more candidly?"
you asked the water,
while the sun scurried
across the sky to duck
behind the horizon for fear
of the ensuing argument.
Mar 26, 2017
Mar 26, 2017 at 6:08 AM UTC
If you should be lost
the police report
will ask me
to describe you.
I will say, “He is
the one with the gaze
that could sink a ship
and the laugh
that could bring it to life again.”
Mar 19, 2017
Mar 19, 2017 at 1:25 PM UTC
The dead captain quietly fights the reef.
Ooh, desolation!
Endurance, death, and endurance.
Never love a seashell
More than the glinting sunshine
May 30, 2016
May 30, 2016 at 9:38 AM UTC
*No matter how painful the words I write,
or how perfectly beautiful they rhyme,
no phrase, no line, no verse, no time
or poetry in the world could bring you back.
And I'll miss you forever, like how the shore
unspeakably misses the kisses of the tides
as they recede;
and like the corals on the ocean beds,
you are all I need.*
Mar 1, 2016
Mar 1, 2016 at 10:47 AM UTC
My heart fell and sank deeply at the sight of you,
like an anchor hurled into the sea.
And then you spoke and I'm reminded of the waves;
You're the sea and I'm a fish,
the salty waters I long and crave.
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 11:11 AM UTC
Tentacles twist breaking bow and mast.
Clinging and clinching to the once mighty vessel.
A ship once prized by the Navy
Now prized as a partner for the sea beast.
Each serpentine tentacle tightens,
Around wooden board, and cast iron fastener.
Creaking and cracking the boat dances as the beast leads.
Waves crazed as they are whipped to frenzy,
Matching the mammoth's rhythms.
They struggle to keep the beast contained.
White caps covering the beasts murderous desire.
The ship is his, and as dances do,
This one ends in a flourish.
Cracking crosstrees and foremast,
Collapsing the gangways,
Sails still whipping as the dancer's dress is ravaged.
And as quickly as it began
It stops.
The monster sinks back from where his strike began.
The tired vessel following quickly after.
The water forgets its rhythm and steps.
May 25, 2015
May 25, 2015 at 10:44 PM UTC
Plot a course through downtown doors
then drift along the concrete shores
of asphalt oceans navigated
under stars
imitating
broken curbside glass--
over crunching gravel miles
measured in half-hours
and meted out in heavy, fogging breaths
and squinting, midnight eyes...
Counted out the blocks, counted steps
and concrete squares by metered
three-four thoughts dancing across
reflected skylines, just behind the eyes.
Each step's a held breath,
each footfall a prayer on crumpled paper,
each set of shoulders, a hanger for...
coats are homes
for hands
rolling up in pockets
fishing for some solid anchor,
sinking into years of walks and silent words like these.
*** * ***
Listing hard, adrift for years
water-logged and pocked--
no anchor--
shredded sails and leaning masts
tell stories
of deck fires:
leaping rats,
and charred strakes
Clear deck,
empty hold,
abandoned helm.
this coat's Atlantic fog.
Frayed rigging like cobwebs stretch
down and across
like lines on faces aged by the frost
on midnight walks.
Strike the colors, mate...
Admit you're lost.
Apr 20, 2015
Apr 20, 2015 at 12:41 PM UTC
Sand on my hair,
Salt in my ears,
Fish on my toe.
I grabbed a handful of sand
and tossed it in the sea.
A ripple formed.
The hardened sand scattered into the sea;
tiny little grains;
And I remembered why I did not choose you.
It's because you never really loved me.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 10:23 AM UTC
Swim in the deepest part of the ocean,
With waves over head,
A life pieced by water,
A nautical life,
Or aquatic wonders,
There is no fear,
Living in fairytales,
Mithical creatures,
Sorrounding the waters,
Travel sea to sea,
Hopes disguised as flounders,
Surfers all above,
And here come the divers,
Ready to explore,
The kind I belong to,
Sing to them now,
They'll jump off from sails,
To follow the voice,
Deep in the waters,
Desperate souls,
Following as I speak,
Gullible minds,
When told to go under,
This siren awaits,
For sailors to wonder,
To bring them in deep,
In dangerous waters.
-Kathia Mariana Landeros
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 6:18 PM UTC
Watch as waves
Overtake
Overreach their wake
Hold your breath
As they break
Every sentenced line
Replay over
And over
Her fingers slip from your grip
Behind blurry eyes
A disconnect in vision
Her hair goes with each
Ebb and flow
The strings pull at your chest
You tried your best
You wore it like a crest
Prospect gnaws at the marrow
And you plunge like the sparrow
After her
Into the technicolor water
Her ruddy complexion melts
For nights on end
You are floating
As the scenes that began as
An itch behind your eye
Clawed out in fright
Until the ticking stopped,
The ambiguous clicking of the clock,
Tied itself to the mast
In a rotted rope knot
Now you're the anchor
And your tendons swell
From the moment she fell
Until your present hell
Watching as each klick slinks
Your beloved sinks
Never within reach
Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 4:17 PM UTC
This ship docked in my lonely harbour
It was the prettiest catamaran I'd ever seen
Delighted the captain shouted it's name
"The EDB" his hazel eyes beamed
He was filled with beauty inside and out
And with his withdrawal came pain, no doubt
After him came the figure that was the real mystery
With charm and charisma he came to me
"Hey my name is Jay, okay if I docked at your bay"
Flashing an award winning smile
I couldn't resist
"Ofcourse! ofcourse!" I instantly hissed
However it was the storm that he brought along I wish I had missed
I couldn't bare another heartbreak
No more vessels I'd tell the rest to skate
But then M/V Drew came through and blew me away
With a saddened heart I knew I could not allow him to stay
My dock just suffered two terrible shocks
No more, no more I want off these rocks
Today was it my day to be free
To embrace the ocean, find a ship that loves me
Beyond the horizon floated my chance at more
It was finally my time to leave Heartbreak Shore
- (jrew)
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014 at 11:02 AM UTC