#namelessmuse
I had it all-
a touch of faith,
your hands on mine,
Our love the sweetest taste.
Your warmth began to freeze,
your hands strangled,
milking the last of my hope,
every drop of life,
and I was lost.
Reflections shattered and scattered.
In a single instant I grew,
my innocence mangled.
Your secrets trapped my tongue,
making them my own,
unable to utter a sentence,
unable to mourn.
You never changed,
I never tried to make you.
You simply didn't grow.
My rhythm slowly withered,
your grip suffocated,
my affection a complex addiction.
My black and white,
stained in red,
indistinguishable and spreading-
consuming.
Interest fading
Into superficial persecution.
Taking the place of something
Infinite yet indefinite,
Beyond our understanding.
Worship tastes like servitude.
Lust becomes a synonomn
For mercy,
Love is simply a syllable,
And all we do is doubt.
Doubt if we're enough,
Together or separate,
Fulfillment a fairytale
Tarnished by simple maturity.
Tenderness is an inconvenience,
*** a chore ,
With a seizing heart
And grief tinted lips.
I can't keep exhaling,
And praying you'll be
My holy resource,
When your love was never pure.
Feb 17, 2019
Feb 17, 2019 at 9:48 PM UTC
Some are easy to love,
I'm just easy to leave,
Easy to forget,
As though I don't exist.
I keep holding on,
As hope pulls away,
Burning my hands like rope,
Failing against the pain.
I'm drained from this battle,
I was never worth the fight.
When they walk away
They ask why I don't cry.
My heart bleeding in my throat,
A fist clenched in my gut,
A cigarette to my lips,
I'm so tired of being burnt.
The story always changes
but never my ending.
Left alone with the fragments
of a shattered, glass heart.
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 5:55 PM UTC
Cradling and pacifying,
A gift for enabling narcissism,
Wiping tears and standing strong
Even as the bellows break my spirit.
Never rising
Without repercussions,
Manipulations and invalidations,
Demands for constant zombification.
Fingers inching for cherished blades
Obedience taste bitter.
I should have learned to be docile,
To know when to wither.
Instead I was born with poison
Pumping through my veins,
Chaos in my brain,
And wear wrath as a crown.
Sep 16, 2018
Sep 16, 2018 at 12:46 AM UTC
A million memories
Folded into the time
From youth and rage
To parents with wrinkled eyes.
Mistakes and celebrations
Joy and separations
Loss and superstition
Grief and new beginnings.
From Jack and coke
To green and candy
Diamonds and rings
New life in a tiny being
The white rabbit man
The strays and their pets
With questionable morals
Our karma resets.
So many regrets
A few were you
Too many obstacles
But together we jumped through.
Mar 12, 2018
Mar 12, 2018 at 8:03 AM UTC
Fingertips racing with my pulse
Soft skin and feral cries
Distancing thoughts
As my mind unwinds
Dampened skin
The taste of lust
The prayer of my name
On your tongue
The long sip of water
After the crash into bliss
You stroking my hair
With a goodnight kiss
My knuckles in your ribs
Because **** you snore
Your head on my chest
My heart tender and sore
The bull against the water
One of us bound to drown
Pride battling stubbornness
Until our light blew out.
Mar 7, 2018
Mar 7, 2018 at 1:27 AM UTC
Abondonment is expected
Maybe even created
Self fullfiled prophecy or Destiny?
Exhausted from the rage
Incapable of withstanding this,
Your eternal storm.
Trapped as always
Bound to yet another villain
Growing crueler as I strengthen
I think I forgot how to cry
This well of sadness won't release
Maybe I'll simply disappear tonight
Nov 28, 2017
Nov 28, 2017 at 10:36 AM UTC
You've lost me so many times,
always pleading and tearful,
pulling me back in
with promises of change and love,
promise you never kept.
Rage and deceit bleed in your veins.
Break me and ridicule when I crack.
Laugh and lay on me all blame,
ego tearing through,
ripping our fragile world apart.
Pride and greed stained with jealousy
drilling me deeper into the ground.
Weep as you play our Ressurection.
'I'm worthy of more,'
someone whispers in my head.
Yet if that was true,
wouldn't I have recieved it?
If I was worthy
wouldn't someone have shown it?
I'll always be the perfect victim.
Nov 3, 2017
Nov 3, 2017 at 5:52 PM UTC
I'm sorry I need
I'm sorry you hate it
I feed Your soul
But I always give
You never reciprocate
I told you I need you
The blades are calling
The pain is building
You said you cared
But rolled over and fell asleep.
Oct 10, 2017
Oct 10, 2017 at 3:21 AM UTC
My fingertips dance along your scars,
the ones I made and the ones you
caused.
'Truth' still shines faintly on your
wrist,
from the night you lied and threw a
fit.
This one right here, I stabbed you with
keys.
You threw me from the porch and
realized I do bleed.
Years of venom and violence abruptly
halted,
little eyes and ears blissfully
disrupted.
Though your tone gets sharp and
patience short,
and I pray every day to not become
what we were,
in the quiet when there's only beating
hearts,
slow breathing and staring into the
dark,
tracing your scars as my own begin to
sting,
that passion and pain from the past
begins to sing,
serenading and calling me home.
Then tiny hands reach and I only hear
the sweet call of 'mom.'
Oct 7, 2017
Oct 7, 2017 at 4:19 AM UTC
Day dreamer
Fantastical lover
Lack of logic
Eyes too vivid
Shallow morals
Liquid voice
Calloused fingers
Satin skin
Maim my being
In just the right way
Unravel my mind
Kiss my trauma away
Bruise my soul
Watch it bleed in your palm
Lap at my tears
But please never console
Broken promises
Inky laughs
Tighten your grip
I cherish this dance
Oct 5, 2017
Oct 5, 2017 at 7:39 PM UTC
We danced and played like children,
splashing in puddles and jumping the stream.
Trapped in the curse of our youth,
tangled in kisses and forever spinning.
Neither corrupted for we were already fallen.
Anger and lust pumped through our veins.
You climbed to the top of the tower,
and triumphantly exclaimed-
'I AM GOD!'
Lightening fell from behind,
cupped into your palm,
maniacle and dizzy.
My heart flipped as I stared in awe.
I knew from the start we were toxic.
With that moment engrained in my mind,
I knew I loved you, however tragic.
Sep 29, 2017
Sep 29, 2017 at 4:36 PM UTC
You came to me with powdered knuckles,
you knew it was my poison.
You were raised on horse
so we thought,
'This won't be a problem.'
It feels like the sound
Of a million angels singing.
Doubts explode in the brain,
but the high makes you ignore them.
I knew I had to be stronger
than the last time that I slipped.
I handled my ****
finished the manuscript,
but you just kept exceeding.
I always knew compassion
would one day be my downfall.
You filled your nose,
hid new hoes
And I just kept abiding.
Losses began to trickle in.
You saw you weren't so hard.
To be honest
From what I've witnessed
None of the gangsters are.
I caught you in a tryst
while lies bled from you lips.
Panic attacks and shiny blades
returned to being my usual ways.
I warned you from the start,
but bulls rarely listen.
The lines crossed you
and you felt used.
Shameful, you grew twisted.
Torn and mangled,
Depleted and abused-
Here's to forsaken me
and my nameless muse.
Sep 2, 2017
Sep 2, 2017 at 8:29 AM UTC