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#motherdaughter
I have had to fight my own matriarch for my rights. I have had to learn on my own to fight. I have witnessed a woman birth boys and girls all the while boys will be boys. I have witnessed her loud will to fight for herself but her completely denial of me. I have struggled with this syndrome of men being more deserving of forgiveness. They don’t know any better, they are just dumb, we have to teach them. No ma’am. I didn’t birth them. I didn’t choose to bring them into this world and refuse to teach them right. I didn’t choose to pass the blame as they grew into adulthood and spewed hatred of you and me and all those like us. I sat quietly as you punished me far more severely than them. I sat desperate for the right attention while you shamed me and hated me. I walked through and protected you while you refused to protect me. I live with conflict inside my chest. Do you love me or do you hate me? I shrank myself because of you. My matriarch tore me down. She confused me. She bound my hands and gagged my mouth. She is strong and loud, courageous and brave. She gave me the fire I have inside but she tried to burn me with it first. She loves me but she loves them more than me. She didn’t fight for me the way she did for them. She took up her place as woman but her hand reaches out to man.
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Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 4:16 PM UTC
Matriarch
Make a scene when you are young and you are already good at making scenes. I have been making scenes since I was seven. My mother's Merit Ultra Light 100s on the deck, early spring sun going down, my sneakers and my fingers making sure. She was mad about the drive. I was mad about everything else. We did not discuss the difference. I picked tobacco from under my nails. She breathed through it. I was waiting for her to notice. She didn't. I intend to die making a scene. I intend to be lowered into the earth mid-sentence, comma still pending, everyone waiting, mouths slightly open, for the rest of it. There is no rest of it. That was the scene. I hope you were watching.
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Apr 14
Apr 14, 2026 at 4:00 AM UTC
Before It Got Worse
Oh, mother when did I start mothering myself because you couldn’t? When did I learn to wipe my own tears, to soften my own voice, to hold myself the way I begged you to hold me? Am I healing, or am I only becoming my own replacement? Why do I hear your tone in my anger, your silence in my pauses, your sharpness when I speak without thinking? Why do I hate myself every time I sound like you? Why am I terrified that I am slowly turning into the thing that broke me? Did I believe I could change you just by loving harder, by being quieter, by being better? Did I think if I survived enough, you would soften? Why did no one tell me that daughters are not meant to save their mothers? Why did I carry hope like it was my responsibility? Why does it still hurt to admit that love was not enough? Oh, mother if I am learning to mother myself, is that healing or proof that no one came? And if no one could save you, why did it have to be me who learned the cost?
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Jan 22
Jan 22, 2026 at 12:59 AM UTC
Inheritance
to: mom you sit at my table every day. sorry, our table. your table. you sit on the same chair you did the past 17 years of my life. But it feels like that chair is empty. like it wasn’t filled ever. like it’s missing something, someone. the chair is there. it is. but it is filled with the ghost of you. that ghost is all my “good memories” of you. but when your actions and words outshine that ghost, it disappears. and with it do all the good ones. And suddenly i don’t remember a thing. I don’t comprehend how i can loathe and love a person that has always been present but never a part of my life. And you don’t know how jealous i am. Oh, how jealous i am when i am over at my friend’s houses. And i sit at their tables, where they sit everyday and see the look on their mother’s faces. Because they aren’t ghosts, they are present, a constant. Who always sits at their tables and acts to make them happy. Maybe one day you can become that. But still there will always be a ghost sitting on the same chair, that is yours.
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Nov 13, 2025
Nov 13, 2025 at 5:47 PM UTC
You sit at my table every day
the two of them, blonde and spitfire, hollow turquoise blue eyes in the sagebrush, stormy and unspent reluctant to grow up homesick lost in the washed-out denim skies of our prairie, heather fields sprawled soft grey forever into the skyline, it's a grainy stage for a 1970s play about alcoholism, characters dressed pastel in 1980s hand-me-downs, production with 1990s debt, the script written in the language of early 2000s anxiety. always fixin' to do it, planning and unplanning the thing, learning to tie bows from stolen fishing line, whatever we caught was the hill's high ransom twisting the blade and choking it on its own blood. absolve me, frilly church clothes and squeaky-clean pearl snaps, carried away on the wind rushing by pink ears, running down long cool tile halls, the whispers of hushed women at our patent leather heels, saying something... well, it must be nice or nothin' at all. forgive them their ignorance for not knowing just what they do pushing our hands to their throats away from each other I am listening to you, still singing mom's scratchy old cassette tape of the truth playing like a gasp between last breaths: "we are but sisters"
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Nov 4, 2025
Nov 4, 2025 at 5:07 PM UTC
in sunlight, sisters
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In the darkest gloom, A mother's love is a spark, It illuminates and blooms, It  gives us a dash of hope, and guides like a loom, It wraps around tenderly, a gift given straight from the womb.
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Jul 19, 2025
Jul 19, 2025 at 5:24 PM UTC
a mother's love
All my life, you said what you said. I did what you said. I wore full-sleeved clothes. I stayed quiet. My cries went into vacuum— swallowed, silent. But you always stood strong. It’s the colour of skin. The hair you couldn’t tame. The nose that wasn’t yours. I always just... heard what you said until my ears bled out. You remind me of the mountains— the ones I grew up with: tall, oddly shaped, and proud. It’s shocking that my tears made you crumble, like a lost girl at sea. Glad to see, the past haunts you like it does me.
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May 25, 2025
May 25, 2025 at 1:48 PM UTC
The Nose That Wasn't Yours
I look for you in the people I meet Drawn always to mothers and to crones Finding myself at the edge of the earth Searching for you Though I know where you are It’s subconscious It’s instinctive Needing you
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Mar 2, 2025
Mar 2, 2025 at 7:04 PM UTC
Untitled
I walked along, hand in hand Strolling towards the trees. I was happy, had no care, Just the dog, my mother, and me. I ran my hands, through the green, Humming - carefree as can be. I was content, and had no fear, Just the dog, my mother, and me. I closed my eyes, to feel the breeze, Smiling so blissfully, I sighed, then, I remember - Just the dog, my mother, and me. I opened my eyes, and the trees were bare Barren ground surrounded me - I screamed, wordless, held on even tighter Just the dog, my mother, and me. The sky then bled, my mother screamed As to why I couldn’t see My dog barked, and I held on to Just the dog, my mother, and me. My mother looked at me, her mouth was open Still screaming silently The dog whimpered, why was it only Just the dog, my mother, and me. She then faded, I ran after Holding my dog helplessly I knew then that image was over, of Just the dog, my mother, and me. When I stopped, she was gone, and so was the dog They were only memories. Nightmares or dreams - the only way it can be Just the dog, my mother, and me.
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Oct 16, 2024
Oct 16, 2024 at 12:30 PM UTC
Just The Dog, My Mother, and Me
she holds my hand in her palm cradling it gently as she cleans the wounds she reopened again on my calloused paper skin. The giver birth and the harbinger of my death, embraces me in crocodile tears. "Who is she?" I am asked and in a cracked voice bandaged with promises, I answer; "she is my mother."
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Jan 28, 2023
Jan 28, 2023 at 1:31 AM UTC
mother.
If that was a blast of love I’d hate to see your hate. Your blunt, forceful love comes from fear, rains in blows, and leaves me - smaller, sadder, reactive— reeling for equilibrium.
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Apr 5, 2022
Apr 5, 2022 at 7:38 AM UTC
Blunt love
All of the above. Alone. I feel so alone. I wish I had that emotional support some girls talk about with their moms I feel like she’s there but not there Im just here I wish I can go to my mom for a hug I wish I can go to my mom for advice I wish I can talk to my mom I wish I had a different mother I feel so alone
0
Sep 30, 2021
Sep 30, 2021 at 8:23 AM UTC
Stressed, overwhelmed, scared
It starts with his beautiful bright blue eye, So steady and sure as the wings flutter and sigh. They keep watch of the life below, The nectar and the flowers that grow A forest of colours, red to indigo. Now, when the eyes shutter and blink, The flowers look up and they think, 'Here is our dazzling friend, Come here to dance and defend, And to our gardens tend'. Here, it whispers to a mother and child Remembering all the times that they smiled To each other and held hands To help the child thrive and withstand The winter's harshest command. The mother waves and the child shakes In excitement and down fall the flakes Of yellow but quickly goes the protector Gathering the pieces and the nectar And hurrying back to inspect her. Often people suspect that this pest Eats the flowers and destroys their nest But little do they know of why The mother flower strokes the pest's eye. You see butterflies don't just flutter by. They have a duty and a burden To protect the flowers of their garden And see that everything is safe and sound Down there on the ground.
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Sep 30, 2020
Sep 30, 2020 at 2:06 PM UTC
butterflies only flutter by
My mother, mommy, mom You were my person, My sun and moon and stars, The superwoman who made everything good happen and the one I blamed for any bad that happened My little sister and I only had you the three of us in cahoots or at odds the bond was the foundation until I built my own. Your smile, a vivid memory your laugh an echo in my heart my hands look like yours and if I clasp them together I can pretend we are holding hands again closing my eyes inhaling your scent of Patchouli how did it feel to be enveloped in your arms? Soft and safe and peaceful when I was little before my teenage rebellion when I pushed farther away how many times did I break your heart? Each time you forgave me silently, without reproach, unconditionally.
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Aug 6, 2020
Aug 6, 2020 at 12:32 AM UTC
The Unspoken Bond
you and i driving down the highway i swear we could fly with you behind the wheel the pictures littered the car like anxious petals fallen too soon desperate pleads for a love i could not express to you steady hands on the wheel you whisked me away to a little burger place on the interstate where for a moment we escaped the rush of it all the pain of it all when i felt safe to fall into you eyes glued to the dot amongst trees and cars yearning to keep this spot that, only briefly, we called ours
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Jul 28, 2020
Jul 28, 2020 at 3:06 AM UTC
pacific coast highway
Golden Strands of hair glisten like honey Soft, solace scent of an old home Goose feather pillows Blue veins disguised inside cautious hands Embrace me, radiate warmth And with the utmost careful placement of glasses on her nightstand once again.
0
May 10, 2020
May 10, 2020 at 4:58 AM UTC
Mother
Mama, I'm just a little girl. You make me happier than anything else With the books that you read me The smiles you give me The warmth of your body As I sit on your lap My downy blonde head Rested, listening to the heartbeat That lulled me to sleep In your womb. You tell me, "Madison, You are my sunshine." You're mine, too So I bring you Pictures I drew Purple weeds that I picked from the yard Smiles Flashing love, optimism With my crooked baby teeth. I love you, Mama I do. Mama, I'm not a little girl. I like boys And have opinions And bleed Just about every month now. I roll my eyes And speak my mind And disagree. I want to read those few books You don't think that I'm ready to read. I make you cry now Almost as often as I make you laugh. I remind you of the sharp, dangerous bits Of your own adolescence With all the added danger Of my Daddy's set ways. I'm sorry, Mama I am. I can only become a woman In the ways that you teach me. I love you, Mama I do. Mama, You know I'm your girl. I might have Daddy's face and sense of humor But it's you and I Talking about our respective friends As we work in the kitchen You on the main course Me on dessert. We laugh And sing along to Courtney Love's mad howls No matter how much everyone else winces in response. Let me tell you a secret, Mama: I don't want to grow up anymore. I feel safe here Always at home As long as I'm with you. I love you, Mama I do. Mama, I'm still just a little girl. It scares me to death To see you hurt When there's nothing I can do To ease your pain. Part of me wants to do What you did for me: Tuck you into bed With a hug A kiss A ginger ale. "Sleep tight Night-night Don't let the bed bugs bite. Sweet dreams Love you See you tomorrow." I want to **** this ******* cancer Eradicate it From you And every man, woman, and child Who's ever fallen Into its hideous grip. I don't want to ever have to leave your side, Mama, Wouldn't do it For anything in this world. I'm sorry For any nasty thing I could have ever said to you. I'm sorry If the stresses Of a single moment Or years' worth of them Ever stole a little bit of joy From you and I. I love you, Mama I always will. I'll do anything If it means we can take each other's hands And kick this thing's ***
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Jan 3, 2020
Jan 3, 2020 at 3:40 PM UTC
Mama
Mama, I'm just a little girl. You make me happier than anything else With the books that you read me The smiles you give me The warmth of your body As I sit on your lap My downy blonde head Rested, listening to the heartbeat That lulled me to sleep In your womb. You tell me, "Madison, You are my sunshine." You're mine, too So I bring you Pictures I drew Purple weeds that I picked from the yard Smiles Flashing love, optimism With my crooked baby teeth. I love you, Mama I do. Mama, I'm not a little girl. I like boys And have opinions And bleed Just about every month now. I roll my eyes And speak my mind And disagree. I want to read those few books You don't think that I'm ready to read. I make you cry now Almost as often as I make you laugh. I remind you of the sharp, dangerous bits Of your own adolescence With all the added danger Of my Daddy's set ways. I'm sorry, Mama I am. I can only become a woman In the ways that you teach me. I love you, Mama I do. Mama, You know I'm your girl. I might have Daddy's face and sense of humor But it's you and I Talking about our respective friends As we work in the kitchen You on the main course Me on dessert. We laugh And sing along to Courtney Love's mad howls No matter how much everyone else winces in response. Let me tell you a secret, Mama: I don't want to grow up anymore. I feel safe here Always at home As long as I'm with you. I love you, Mama I do. Mama, I'm still just a little girl. It scares me to death To see you hurt When there's nothing I can do To ease your pain. Part of me wants to do What you did for me: Tuck you into bed With a hug A kiss A ginger ale. "Sleep tight Night-night Don't let the bed bugs bite. Sweet dreams Love you See you tomorrow." I want to **** this ******* cancer Eradicate it From you And every man, woman, and child Who's ever fallen Into its hideous grip. I don't want to ever have to leave your side, Mama, Wouldn't do it For anything in this world. I'm sorry For any nasty thing I could have ever said to you. I'm sorry If the stresses Of a single moment Or years' worth of them Ever stole a little bit of joy From you and I. I love you, Mama I always will. I'll do anything If it means we can take each other's hands And kick this thing's ***
Continue reading...
105
Tendrils, memories cascade a stormy mind Now where did I leave my pride Forgotten now, a pearly shell on a distant shore My death will be fierce, I am not afraid to die But pain, well I’m drowning in it And I can barely tolerate saying hello To my dear friends, my loving family Just tell them to go away and take the pain with them I’m floating now, ****** clouds waft across an indigo sky Listen to the echoes, a song from long ago “Georgia on My Mind” My heart flutters, I am 17, I meet my first love Exhilaration, freedom, I can be anyone, anything! The pages of time, turn swiftly now Feelings fall away like confetti I am angry, I am happy, I am sorry, I am sad I am more and sometimes I am less Through it all I am me I will not let cancer take me away from me For I have you dear lord and I know there is more Dear Lord, send my sisters Rose and Bella to get me Tell them to bring Goldie, my dear dog I am ready Just got to sort everyone else out before I go
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Jun 25, 2019
Jun 25, 2019 at 4:26 PM UTC
I live, I die, I know were to go
The brave ones wield their mettle, yet again not settling for defeat. Retreat is not a choice! Though their voices shake; they speak their truth. Strong and weak. Age and Youth.
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Jun 17, 2019
Jun 17, 2019 at 9:37 AM UTC
The Brave Ones
Mama what I tell you what I don't tell anyone else what has happened what cannot be explained what we better leave as it is I have no idea how it can be otherwise whether it should be otherwise mama we're having a good time we can talk, talk about something else polish our words let them glide lightly along the scraping walls around the discomfort listening half inventing the rest ourselves then it will go isn't that how it goes? Those secrets, mama we don't need to know them out loud, you know I miss the long walks the long evenings together the boredom of before
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May 30, 2019
May 30, 2019 at 5:27 AM UTC
We're having a good time
I’m sorry for what I’ve done I really am I never meant to hurt you like this I know there is nothing that I could do For me to change what happened between us But I hope That one day You will forgive me And still see me as your daughter I love you mom.....
0
Mar 3, 2019
Mar 3, 2019 at 3:59 PM UTC
Please forgive me
I have my mother’s hands She’s always with me I am her She is me We are one
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Feb 26, 2019
Feb 26, 2019 at 11:43 PM UTC
One