#moreangst
It’s been awhile since I’ve slept
But I’m sleepwalking everyday
They say this city never sleeps
Been empty since you walked away
Mama, find me a wishing well
They say time travel isn’t real
And I’m all grown, live on my own
Got nothing but time, but these wounds won’t heal
Momma find me a mockingbird
They say the universe still expands
Time is relative, so I’ve heard
But how did you slip through my hands?
It’s dark at night, still, even here
I think I’m only cold when I’m alone
They say adults shouldn’t have these fears
But I’m not an adult, I’m just big-boned
Even these textbooks read like fiction
Watching all these people's lives
Rub my hands to generate friction
Making sure I’m still alive
So close your eyes and stop your protesting
Absorb what little oxygen your lungs still take
Pretend you’re perfectly, peacefully resting
Maybe your body will forget that it’s fake
Jun 11, 2015
Jun 11, 2015 at 10:00 PM UTC
(you-)
stop making me worry about you
stop doing dangerous things to yourself
when you know I can't be there to stop you
stop making ****** up choices
and being with people who constantly hurt you
you told me to not be her cigarette (she put me out anyways)
but look at the place you're in now
isn't it ironic?
the exact thing we swore would never happen (you swore)
is our reality a month or two later
please stop ruining my life
because I hate that I still care (can't stop)
after you ****** me up
so badly (not recovered yet)
you--
stop being so distant (like I was to you)
stop not caring as much as I do (like I did to you)
why don't you love me like you used to?
why don't you want me like I want you?
why do you make me feel cliche?
it makes me sick to type this part (your part)
and I wish I could shake you
and be completely honest
I want to be who I was
when I was with you
I don't want to be this way (my way)
I want to be your baby
please stop ruining my life
because it's been a year
and I think about you
just as much (it's gross and I feel 13)
you---
stop drinking for ***** sake
I'm not in your life (for the better (but probably not))
I can't babysit you when you're drunk (anymore)
I don't even know what happens to you
and it ******* kills me
how am I supposed to know if you're okay? (are you?)
how am I supposed to know if you're safe? (please be)
I hate that everything blue reminds me of your room
when we were washed in watercolors
with the lights off and your hand on my waist
please stop ruining my life
because now when anyone touches me
I feel numb and I wish it were you
I wish I could clean your wounds
I wish you'd love me like I love you
I wish you'd stop drowning yourself in *****
please stop ruining my life
Jun 24, 2015
Jun 24, 2015 at 4:19 AM UTC