#lovefool
She needs him
And she wants him, a lot
But needing someone is neither beautiful nor romantic
It’s ******* painful
But she embraces the pain
He knows how to paint a smile on her face
Make her laugh until her stomach hurts
But what he doesn’t know is
Sometimes his words carves the pain in her chest
His silence digs a hole in her heart
And she cries her heart out at night
Whilst blaming herself
For all the mess that happened between them
She tells herself that the next day
The sun will come up
And she will eat her breakfast
And she will drink her coffee
Sadly, things sometimes don’t go as planned
She wakes up the next morning,
Again, tears rolls down her cheeks
She hates herself for being weak
She hates herself for being not good enough
She is tired of doubting whether people are coming or going
Still, she is hoping that he would stay
She would rather be hurt by him than be loved by anyone else
She keeps telling herself that she’s okay
Whilst her heart bleed continuously
She knows that she was doping herself a ******** of lies
Yet she chooses to drown and bleed without him knowing it
She doesn’t know how to love herself
but she really does love him wholeheartedly and blindly
And even if it hurts, she would do it all again in a heart beat
Dec 22, 2017
Dec 22, 2017 at 12:25 AM UTC
It’s April,
And I am the fool.
It’s Tax Day,
And I've made my mark as “single.”
It’s Earth Day,
And you'll never give me a bouquet, so just pick me a flower.
It’s Duke Ellington Day,
And you like jazz music as much as you like when I call you my King, so why am I still waiting in line for the throne?
--------------------
It's Spring,
And I am in love.
Apr 20, 2016
Apr 20, 2016 at 10:30 AM UTC
It was me who took her by the hand to the moon,
she now says she is there on her own!
A girl on the moon that pretends she forgot,
everything happened before, in no time!
I held her gently by her waist and danced,
she couldn't match my speed, she wobbled,
still she pretended her status was single,
on the sly, she was waiting for the prince of the moon
Feb 7, 2016
Feb 7, 2016 at 11:58 AM UTC
It's a painful stretch to re-loving
Gargoyles in clusters clutch at my heart
Talons pierced and locked wings wrapped upon layers
Pulling each one away takes insufferable self violence
Just to clear a small space to let you through
Too many years of inequity
have placed needs burning in my heart
you struggle to relinquish your control,
Your gift of consideration is noted.
Your changes have exceeded my expectations
Though we are nowhere near even.
Still, I play it peachy,
Your tenderness, your keeness to please me
Is unnerving,
too little, too late
Your heart whispers squeal like whistles in the hunt
Unsettling the watchdog beasts
Growling and snarling
Clawing tighter at the leather pith of a stone heart
Your own needs are barking
Your expectations are going to be laid,
I'm letting blood Before your debt is even paid
It's going to be different this time...
Claws tighten, wings gripping tighter
Artehoke heart,
just another set up
I keep anticipating the fall.
I go on pretending in the hope It will become real
Your darkness permeates
your dark love kills
Still, there's something about you
I can't live without.
Dec 28, 2015
Dec 28, 2015 at 9:42 AM UTC
Your bodkin, seeking my heart if straight,will find it's target quick,
I'll gladly die an honorable death, still remembering the arrows of cupid,
but if your sword, stealthily moves from behind, in deceit, cuts me down,
denigrates love, let darkness shout, from where once love solemnly stood,
you'll have to be on your knees to seek forgiveness for this sin, it's no win.
Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 9:57 PM UTC
After, a long drawn out burning kiss
that opened a never healing wound
she leaves for the secret rendezvous
in a verdant oasis in a distant desert.
He didn't hear about her even after
light years, remembrance of that
kept on haunting him, for reasons
he wanted to find, he burned and burned.
On a full moon night after million years,
searching in the desert, long hours
sweating and tired like a haunted animal
he found a magnificent Spinx,felt connected
fell for that feminine allure, curved hips
hypnotic eyes of a hermaphrodite,swell of *******
that illogically prompted him to caress,
towering high at the end of an oasis,
wasn't it a construct of desire?
he stood, feverishly desiring those pouting lips,
the moment next, missed the one inflicted wound,
in a pit inside forbidden longings erupt
when speaking language of desire, poisoned fruits too
taste dark poetry, nature flows to symmetry
"No man or woman, loved me like that"
a whisper, then a hiss, in passion proclaims
there she was his one time lover, cheat, deserter
of his spirit's mating call, still he isn't free from delusions,
she abandoned him for another, in that too wasn't sure
yet another of her misadventure, does she repent?
"I didn't want to miss you like this" she says
"you mistook that I was in love with her, him or whatever"
entanglements, there were from the word go,
her eyes , he observed were sapphires,
her bleached white bones, were irresistible, totems
he wanted to preserve it in the museum in Cairo
her being grew in to him like an oasis
in a desert, a weary, insane, traveler reaches
just in time for the final peaceful hour before all resolve.
"Are you insane, what makes you do this again" a voice asked,
another million years would pass without any solace,
the sphinx, so magnificent then would be just a sand dune !
They hand in hand, would be walking over it,
that sweet oblivion would remain, birth after birth.
Aug 7, 2014
Aug 7, 2014 at 7:30 AM UTC
Mermaid, the moon in my cloudy sky on dark nights,
I treated you like the most precious gift from the Ameer,
in my ****** life, though I spent just one night with you and fell in love,
I adore you more then my sweetheart of long years,
I remained loyal to you, a dancing girl, more than to my dear wife,
in lonely nights my heart pined for just you, nobody else
I wept bitter tears hoping that you'd somehow hear my sobs,
most hardened stone, your heart was, you never reacted
I heaped praises on you, bought you expensive gifts
lavished perfumes from the most exclusive perfumeries
I waited in the most breathtaking oasis,days on with camels
to take you far and be with you ditching all other loves of my life
my heart on embers, I forgot how respected I was, what was my status,
I became a lowly beggar of your love, in your presence
my eyes lost their glow, got sunken in the cavities making
me look pitiable, my dress was shredded in many places,
my body became emaciated, I made a living only by singing
paeans to women of easy virtue, just to buy as much things
that pleases you, make you jump up in joy, as soon as you see it.
You drink the best wine, would wear the rarest of lingeries
that peeped out of the muslin dress, I gifted you
still my love, you weren't pleased you looked daggers at me
without any regret, and asked to bring more gold and silver,
it's the life of a slave I happily lived, I know so well
I composed poems on voluptuous mistresses of men of royal linage,
and collected pieces of gold and silver for my labor
with that I made bejeweled ornaments for your lovely body.
Mermaid, you are a wonder, you walk on two legs,
yet swim in deep waters with others, whom you don't even mention,
I only dream of you and wait endlessly here, all the same contented.
Jul 8, 2014
Jul 8, 2014 at 11:10 AM UTC