#loveafterloss
if it all went
away today,
would you still
be mine?
if it all went
away today,
will i be fine?
the clock just
ticks away,
and these wasted
years have left
me astray.
i can’t re-live,
and live in fear,
but i don’t
know how to
set myself
free.
(is anybody
there?)
i’m not well,
and time will
tell
when the pieces
finally fit
together,
and i make
sense of this
hell.
if it all
went away today,
would you
still be
mine?
Nov 22, 2025
Nov 22, 2025 at 5:05 AM UTC
I see your smile in buildings, you still live in my heart —
a part of me; apartment walls built up and down, all of
their tenants moving in and out. A crowded room, one
bathroom, toothpaste crust on the sink — my living room
feels so uncomfortable not living with you.
The kitchen light hums, drawing cockroaches out at night,
not even shy when we stare eye to eye — I guess even pests
get used to company. Cupboards empty, with only food for
thought to feed my hope.
Still I pray the rent isn’t overdue — the landlord of depression
bangs on my door at the end of the month, the middle of the
month, the beginning — _anytime he wants_.
We shared this house, but never lived in our hearts.
We shared this mattress, but never rested our worries.
We shared this address, yet got lost chasing after each other.
Now, the buildings are all vacant — windows hollow,
paint of your smile peeling off the walls, flaking down like
tired laughter. And every echo, sounds like your name.
Nov 4, 2025
Nov 4, 2025 at 3:25 PM UTC
Dig into my chest like it’s bare soil—make it a grave, not for
mourning, but for planting. Let my heart be buried like a seed,
not as a casualty. **** out what once wrapped itself around
me like vines of bitterness, strangling my better nature. And if
love is to grow, let it bloom where my brokenness once lived.
To those who fall in love, only to fall harder out of it—do not
call yourselves foolish. Rising from that grave, petals torn but
still reaching for the sun, aren’t you the rose that dared the dirt?
Beautiful in _defiance_, bruised __but not defeated__.
Each morning, the sun rises like it’s trying to convince me it’s
worth beginning again. Beneath that light, my thoughts crash
like waves against the cliffs of a heart too mountainous to climb.
I keep counting stars like uncashed wishes, dreams I tuck into
the corners of silence. Love plays its hand close to the chest—
a secret it folds into itself, waiting to be revealed when the
moment is just right.
But I’ll never know enough. Maybe I wasn’t meant to. But I have
loved—_truly, painfully, and almost beautifully_. And that should
count for something, by the sum of this heart that still beats,
and still believes, but also still breaks.
So here I am, with these cards on the table. No bluff left in me.
Even a faithful lover would cry, 'God, are you listening; deal me
a better hand. Not one free of pain, but one I can hold with both
hands steady. One that doesn’t slip through the cracks I’ve tried
so hard to mend. But one I can grip with love, and not lose again.'
__But oh, how you'll weep— not for what’s been lost,
but for what you're scared to lose.__
Aug 2, 2025
Aug 2, 2025 at 5:20 AM UTC
It's not a fairy-tale
It's just love, you and me
Learning to give
Learning to be
Don't get me wrong, your love
It's true
And deep
And Strong
But it's not a fairy-tale
It never will be
Not like it was with him and me
But a smolder still creates heat
It's not a fairy-tale
But it's not defeat
Dec 3, 2018
Dec 3, 2018 at 11:31 AM UTC