#loath
I couldn't bear to see it sink and fade into the black
Thinking back to brighter things but nothing seems to distract
I love you like I loath you and I can't get over that.
I left my cares on the counter when I picked up my keys
Slammed the door shut because I couldn't believe
People portray purity when their minds are diseased
Just expect to get not a thanks or a please.
Disenchanted by the dirt
Emboldened by the lies
Should this **** still hurt
When I want to say goodbye.
It's the personality leaving bodies like casualties you hurt all you touch and cause fatalities
Reared on a downward slope so you can't help the decline
Calamity feels safer then balance when structure is maligned.
I left my feelings in a box weighed down with rocks by our spot on the docks
I couldn't chuck it in but I wouldn't take it back
I couldn't bear to see it sink and fade into the black
Thinking back to brighter things but nothing seems to distract.
I love you like I loath you and I can't get over that.
Sep 23, 2020
Sep 23, 2020 at 5:40 PM UTC
Tease me,
Never please me.
Denial my only hope.
Enslavement a burden to cope.
Bosoms, Vaginas, legs, stomachs, bellies, chests, armpits, hair. Hair everywhere.
Let me drool over you, you shower in it.
Not to cleanse.
It dribbles down your cheeks into your mouth.
It’s flavor is sweet and addictive.
You’ve been blessed with so much to ponder.
Those who don’t gaze are self protective.
Although you poses such to be admired.
Tease me,
Never please me.
Denial my only hope.
Enslavement a burden to cope.
May 14, 2020
May 14, 2020 at 11:51 AM UTC
The hate you keep inside won’t help you float.
But you cling to it, so below you.
Push it under you, to get above the waves.
But eventually the swell will drag you to hell.
Cling to it so below you.
It’s weight will stretch your arms.
Drag you down.
Down into the undertow. Against progress.
So vile, repugnant and insipid. You rot.
Your fingernails leave scars on hate.
You cling to it so.
But shout opposed to such accusation.
Now low enough the crash of the waves blind you.
Squinting through their spray, you struggle.
Treading in denial as you try to pull your hate to breast.
I’d reach out to you, if your hate wouldn’t drag us down together.
And we’d be clinging to something so below you.
Mar 24, 2020
Mar 24, 2020 at 6:19 PM UTC
I’ve fallen through a stage. Call it a phase, but I lay here sick. I don’t remember eating butterflies, but I need to purge. This loathing is my ailment. The misdirection of it, and the essence of it. But I’ve fallen out just know, and I realize that part of my spin is through. I can start a new.
I need someone too sink into me. I need her head, laid upon my chest. To hear her breath within mine, would be the best. Warm my cold loneliness, through her ******* Her beauty infests. Comfort me, as I spew, apostatize, and change view. Lay my hand upon her back, pull her tightly.
I’m not ready for, *** Nor is my stomach ready to digest. I’m in need of comfort, a new mind in my head. Lonely and resent, replace and repent. I cry for help silently, I ignore my weeps. Stand in nothing, take no action too. I need her arms around me, weak and feebly. I’ll sink into her arms, melt into infancy. I need to be alone with someone else, besides me.
Hear my cry, weakly. I’ve never been with someone, feeling.
Feb 13, 2020
Feb 13, 2020 at 6:37 PM UTC
I saw a person
Said to him "eww"
Nobody likes you
You shouldn't exist
You antisocial freak
Try having some friends
I punch him
Only to see
Broken mirrors
Jul 18, 2019
Jul 18, 2019 at 1:56 PM UTC
A mind attracted by the peaks
while the feet want to climb mountains
Divided and consumed
Lights and darkness
Voices that should have been shut
Doors that should have been closed
Demons that keep coming back
Same old habits
An ephemeral light in the night
Enough hope to carry on
Transforming loathe into love and laugh
Discovering that change is the greatest source of energy
Jun 26, 2019
Jun 26, 2019 at 12:14 PM UTC
I drown,
Under a wave of self loathing,
even though,
I'm an excellent swimmer
Feb 9, 2019
Feb 9, 2019 at 4:45 AM UTC
I loath the part of me,
that cannot intercede,
with the part of you-
that has no need
for me.
Oct 17, 2018
Oct 17, 2018 at 12:31 AM UTC
You know those films on movies where they flip the table
Throw things around and scream obscenities at everyone
Well this is exactly what I would do,if my life was a movie
Instead I the prey sit here hiding all the anger trapped inside
Instead I the prey take a walk stay silent taming it all in
Instead I the prey fall prey every time to the predators bait
You know that feeling you get when you are disgusted by yourself
Trying to conjure up where everything went wrong?
How you can change things?
What to do not to repeat the same mistake?
When you finally think I got this,you repeat the same thing
Only to get things actually have gotten worse
Well that feeling of disgust is not funny
You know that feeling you get when realize how naive you've been
When you realize all the anger that you have is because:
You just couldn't let go
You held onto your ideas so strongly,you couldn't see the others
You loved someone to much but didn't love an ounce of yourself
You listened to all the negative people
You felt all the negative energy and let it consume you
Yeah well I can tell you how pathetic and joyful realizing that will make you feel
I put you on top
So far up there
When I need you the most
When I come to collect my fingers caught ***** first,
Then I stretched a little further and got hate
I stretched a little further and got unfaithfulness
I stretched and got pain so much pain and anger
When I almost gave up I got me back with a sprinkle of wisdom
So I'll give you this I love you always will
Even though you shattered me
Though I love you more because you dear
Returned me back with a sprinkle of wisdom
Sep 23, 2018
Sep 23, 2018 at 6:36 AM UTC
Black
As coal
As moonless nights
As ebony trees and human hearts
Black is my life
Red
As the burning flames
As a lover's heart
The color of blood covering my hands
Color of ****** and innocent cries
Red is my life
Grey
As the long winter nights
And the ever lasting clouds
As the dull soul amid a crowd
And the ruins of a once beautiful town
Grey is my life
My life used to be filled with colors
every shade the eye could see
Then they were stolen one after the other
Until I was left with only three
Sep 6, 2018
Sep 6, 2018 at 11:25 AM UTC
While staring into the wall ahead of me,
I think of nothing.
I think of myself; nothing.
I am nothing to the world.
I am without significance,
I am without meaning.
While staring into the wall ahead of me,
I think of nothing.
Apr 15, 2018
Apr 15, 2018 at 9:06 PM UTC
You.
Exhaust.
Me.
From your words,
to your body language,
to your ******* presence.
You.
Exhaust.
Me.
I live day to day,
dreading talking to you.
I live day to day,
scorning you.
The only reason I tolerate you,
is because I have to.
You.
Are.
Me.
I live day to day,
dreading waking up.
I live day to day,
shying away from mirrors.
I.
Exhaust.
Myself.
Mar 10, 2018
Mar 10, 2018 at 6:07 PM UTC
I detest your creation,
despise the thought of you,
loath your existence,
resent your continuous.
Sep 5, 2017
Sep 5, 2017 at 5:29 PM UTC
Don't lay dead
Else, you'll miss the stars
Be crazy and mad
Let your mind wonder to mars
Far, so far that you forget your sadness
Let the sun peep through your scars
From all the manic and loneliness
Just forget how everything was
For once, come out of that shell,
That shades you, with your past
Brim up from that loath well
Coz nothing in this world lasts...
©sim
Jul 25, 2017
Jul 25, 2017 at 4:39 PM UTC
Putting myself at risk or being spontaneous of the feeling of death makes me happy because its what makes me feel alive even for just a moment
Mar 22, 2017
Mar 22, 2017 at 12:09 PM UTC
I can't see you.
I can't protect you.
Burning in your curiosity.
Huffing another smoke, unrelenting.
You don't understand the dream sugar.
What you want, is something important.
Something covered in whipped cream and bbq sauce.
Exactly, me.
Or not.
You see, I'm just a voice in my head.
Burning brownies baked with bread.
You don't like brownies and bread? Well go to hell.
They're my brownies.
Mine, something you can't claim because you have nothing.
No one, No idea and no value to anything.
You value your brain and **** it for not being enough.
Poison your body for not being able to take the strain of life.
Burn your cigarette to take away the pain of being alone.
Striking your soul, praying you never have to atone.
Cologne rhymes with alone you know. Funny coincidence right?
Brain power. Stained flower.
Hope and happiness. Dope and sadness.
Perception. Deception.
Search for
Purpose.
Not whats on the
Surface.
Oh my elusive friend, trying to take the pain away.
The point of life is not to avoid but to minimize.
Like the Japanese!
A child looks for purpose.
An adult works towards it.
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 3:09 AM UTC
I hope you choke on your coffee this morning
and burn the way that you make my eyes
I'm tired of you always making me cry
you have no compassion; you're empty inside
just like the coffee *** is at the end of each night.
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 10:06 AM UTC
I am one of the biggest hypocrites I know
I'm one of those, "Do as I say, not as I do" kind of person
I will feed people my advice
And do the exact opposite
“Love yourself”
“Be your first priority”
“Never settle”
All of these things I say should be done
Yet I can’t do it myself
Here I am, trying to fix people
When I am broken as well
I try to show people the beauty of the world, when a majority of the time
I see it as a dark place.
I focus on trying to make people happy, hoping it will bring me peace
Here I am, trying to help others when I can’t help myself
Trying to pick others up when my world crumbling
Right in front of my eyes
Jun 1, 2015
Jun 1, 2015 at 6:53 PM UTC
I know I'm awful
And I hate my choices
And I hate myself
And you should hate me too
But that doesn't justify
You using me
As a place holder
A side ***
I'm not someone
You can just have
So you can say
you have someone
I will not talk to you
I don't like your voice
Not anymore
But I need you none the less
Because without someone
I feel like I am alone
And being alone
Is the worst thing in my world
So I do need you
I need you
To deal with me
To break it apart
So I don't have the choice
Of putting it
Back together
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014 at 8:16 PM UTC
The others wrote you letters
To explain why they couldn't stand you anymore
The next day you asked me
Where we stood
Since I didn't write you a 'hate' letter
What I said was too polite
So here is what I should have said
You treated me like ****
Stomped on me
Then waited until I picked myself up
To push me down again
So long I didn't notice
What you were really doing
I would come back
To apologize to you
Mistakenly
You had all of your friends
Dancing around
Controlled by you
Puppets, our strings in your hands
But a few of us
Had just come alive
Opened our eyes
And saw the truth
That you don't care about anyone
You just care that they care
But now I don't care
Go light yourself on fire
Guess What?
Family is forever
But friends don't have to be
I guess you forgot
We made a choice
Also known as a mistake
To be your "friend"
And I was a true friend to you
To bad it was one sided
In case no one ever taught you
Here is the definition of friendship
Two people who can trust each other
To give and take fairly from the other
To love them
A care about them
I should have said
That I can't give anymore
At some point a well
Has to run dry
I had nothing more to give you
If you could have stopped
Tearing at us
Ripping us down
You wouldn't have lost 3
Of the very best friends anyone could ask for
By hating our friendship
You excluded yourself
It's not our fault
It's yours
So if I ever have to see you again
My face will tell you to die
Even though my words did not
The day I said goodbye
If you are happy without me
Great.
If you aren't
Even Better
Just in case it wasn't clear
I hope you die in a hole.
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A very deep hole.
Oct 24, 2014
Oct 24, 2014 at 3:12 PM UTC
Cold is good
Cold is nice
Cold like winter
Cold like ice
Cold my heart
Cold and blue
Cold my soul
Cold for you
I'm your ice princess
Aug 6, 2014
Aug 6, 2014 at 10:51 PM UTC