#listless
It's back again.
The unbearably slow turn of minutes,
yet the sun comes up each time one loop passes.
The breath that felt so easy to let go, now, only escapes when there's fire in my chest.
The sleep that was once a safe haven
became a well, too deep to get out of.
And my body, which was too light for my age,
carries an unimaginable weight every step I take.
Enough to be alive. Not enough to live.
Nov 13, 2025
Nov 13, 2025 at 10:58 AM UTC
this essence has been boiled down to the nearest nothing
and deep down, it feels familiar—
a bird too grown to only now learn to fly,
its wingtips creased the wrong way,
nearly featherless, and weak.
nowhere to go but down
and even then,
impact doesn't promise
resolution.
a poem with too few metaphors,
too much “telling”— we get the point
but SHOW us—
as if listless anger and sadness
it's just a clear-cut visual,
crystalline in memory against all odds.
this essence had been boiled down to the nearest nothing
and deep down, it feels misunderstood.
Jul 31, 2020
Jul 31, 2020 at 10:45 PM UTC
Party guests now reconsider
What's tangled up their hair
Roaring gales on the horizon
Ripping tent stakes from the ground
Chemicals strong enough to shatter self assurance
Always in flux, never to be found
Down corridors, through time and space
Just a second to look away
Away and back again
And in that second, she's somehow changed
In time I couldn't seem to do
Anything beyond observe
With his back to what could be
Glass pressed up against his lips
A jester and his kin abiding
Falling through the firmament
Self deluded, self deluded
Only matters when I'm waking
Self assurance so elusive
And fragile in it's nature
Take me back.
God, take me back, and I'll do anything
To quiet backyards
Hidden agendas on a personal scale
Laughter in self assurance, forgetting
How little any of us care
Take me back, I long for
Lightning overhead
Sinking in the grandeur captured
On hills combed over
Dusk rolls in
I'm feeling sick
The longing ends
My skin is burning
Can't stop the spread
The panic rises
This heartless dread
"Dynamics change
People change
But let's keep being friends"
Can't stop the screaming
And I can't stop myself from reflecting what's around me
It in the sense of an ill defined other
A presence, formed from this collective
An awe falling, noticed in rapid pace
And details drawn out through a magnifying glass
To brush shoulders strained with pressure
A sentence gained through it's essence
I can't begin to comprehend it
I can't slow down, so overwhelmed
I long to lose myself in it
I'd give up this cursed shape
To lose myself
To become swept away
Apr 14, 2020
Apr 14, 2020 at 11:33 AM UTC
roaming through the house
here pacing these empty rooms
restless in moonlight
Apr 13, 2020
Apr 13, 2020 at 12:45 AM UTC
Listless
but not lacking lists
we drift from start of task to task
half a heart engaged
half a mind to dash
make a break for clean air
and there’s the rub
our chimp brains love
and chimp arms seek hugs
but they must stay empty
at least
until the dust settles
Mar 24, 2020
Mar 24, 2020 at 5:39 AM UTC
I always wake up feeling tired
Maybe more like exhausted
It's a struggle pulling myself out of bed
Maybe I've got a deficiency
My diet hasn't been great recently, so
It's always a possibility, I guess
I really should go get it checked
I haven't seen a doctor in years
But the lethargy won't let up enough
I feel no motivation
Sometimes, I'll get this ringing in my ears
That'll last for a while
It comes and goes, but
It's starting to freak me out
I tried getting a new haircut
It didn't seem to help
I'm just so tired all the time
Sep 23, 2019
Sep 23, 2019 at 2:41 PM UTC
when they told me:
Guard your spirit
i laughed, frilly manner
listless with decision
a water lily bobbing;
eager to cut my anchor and drift
Sinking
Sinking
drifting into deep
depth swallows my yellow.
Jun 13, 2019
Jun 13, 2019 at 9:40 AM UTC
I feel listless again.
I am left without slumber,
My mind beginning to bend.
Am i trapped in this cycle?
Will it ever end?
I wonder, if I am destined,
To always walk this now beaten path?
As I'm sure it's becoming more treacherous,
As each grey day comes to pass.
Jun 9, 2019
Jun 9, 2019 at 12:06 PM UTC
In times like these
Words are threaded in a blanket of tension
Syllables counting hate
Out of rhythm with love
in the name of the divine
yet they would be appalled by us, I’m certain
Our land dies
The sky hates us
Get $2 off that burger
Pay your taxes
***** the *****
Cherish the female’s cells
Crucify a mother who can’t nourish her child
Love thy neighbour
Shoot your black brother
**** your Muslim sister
Charge your iPhone
Wonder about the land, gazing at the stars
crush the reef beneath your feet
Download the new update
Love your body
You are a narcissist
Share your body - uploaded
Shamed transferred, virus downloaded
Smile online
Cry offline
Like if you enjoyed this piece
Smiley face.
May 18, 2019
May 18, 2019 at 12:38 AM UTC
Vanity, a flippant curse of heart and mind
Conjoined as one, feeble as the end produced
The whole mass aches and shivers
What I tell myself, and what I know as truth
Are two separate things entirely
Humility, an apparition of soul and spirit
Unity at the cost of knowledge and it's pursuit
My thoughts elapse, and it all slips further
What I told myself before, in this exchange is forgotten
And I'm something else entirely
Morality, in arbitration, I ground myself clear
Wrought against the will of better self
Tooth and nail ground against my gaunt spine
All the words said before, robbed of meaning
In the context I find them, am I something else?
Are you a part of me?
Why can't I hear you
Deep inside these walls
Aimless, seizing
Are you through with me?
I cannot hear you
Can't feel your echo
Only creeping residue
Jan 10, 2019
Jan 10, 2019 at 1:42 AM UTC
I sigh for the many awash in despair
My attitude attuned in a devil may care
All clamoring for Poe not knowing of Baudelaire
Or that Ovid’s Bleak Black books of exile are out there
Content to coil in their own content of the unfair
Not understanding that Depression’s hosting a centuries long fair
So rejoice for others have long paid the fare
And like starlight from afar your suffering is fair
And through artistic labor, you set tables of tantalizing fare
Jun 12, 2018
Jun 12, 2018 at 10:33 PM UTC
It's hanging in the air, the piece of you, above the hole in the carpet.
The hole that was burned there out of anger. Contained by the voice in the back of your mind that pleaded to not allow the fire to spread. The smoke entered through your nose and when it was exhaled, took out of you something you don't remember you lost.
Adolescent dementia is your diagnosis. You ebb and flow emotions that correlate little to the situations around you. Your eyes refract the scene around you and interprets it as inverted and skewed. You have an ocean in your mind. Stirred by the restlessness of the moon, your tides find a way to hurt you. Water crashes against the back of your eyes until you finally spring a leak.
You're in math class.
Pull yourself together.
You love to walk, because the sloshing in your head now seems to be the fault of your arms gently swaying at your sides. You get lost a lot, no sense of direction. People wonder why you always hit the edges of the desks when you pass. They think you're high. Your bloodshot eyes betray you. You look down when you walk with a destination in mind. Any distraction magnetically pulls you towards it. You reel back and cast your eyes far into the scene of which you stare. Anything around you is now null. You are at two places at once. No. You've simply left your physical body to wonder a minute, you are tethered to yourself by the notion that you have no time to waste gazing listlessly-
"Get out of the street little girl! Who holds your body captive?! Why are you blind to see oncoming traffic?!"
You were wondering what it looked like to see a car moving towards you. You proceed home. There is calming music in your ears. You view the world in time with your pace, which is in time with the song. You step and the earth underneath your foot thanks you. It says no one has stepped there before. You're the first the conquer that patch of land.
You hear this in your head.
The song's instrumental cacophony ensues to interrupt your acquisition. The world as you see it dissolves into a blur of colors so vivid, you do not know their name. Its transported you far from the road home. You see smoke. It looks like pure light but it behaves like the noxious admittance from your mother's cigarette. You reach out your hand to manipulate it around your fingers.
It's wet.
You're outside your house now. Two steps away from your carport. You stand in pouring rain. Water is slipping off the roof onto your outstretched hand. You think for a moment that you do not want to go inside.
You lock the door behind you as you enter.
May 6, 2018
May 6, 2018 at 10:54 AM UTC
If it's no problem,
please join me.
There's a city outside in the rain.
In the side of an archive coffee shop,
I saw you reading, leaning
-- more like pressing the world away
-- fully removed.
After the shop closed three years later
the weather changed. In the dry dust
the sun burned on the blacked out window,
your face curved more like the sword,
less like the first observed orange light
of hope on the edge of West horizons.
Where are you but in the glass?
But in the mud puddle's flipped throwback?
May 19, 2017
May 19, 2017 at 4:36 AM UTC
Time is slipping through my fingers, stealing your love
A glance at first sight, became a glance of lost perspective
I loved you where there was no space and time
I guess my love for you needed space and time
I'm in the same place as before but time got a hold of me
Now loving you is a rain of poisonous letters
Pouring upon me to rip off my emotions
Time is slowly stealing my love for you...
I wish I could reach through time,
to grab your hand and tell you not to go.
I don't want to be forgotten here,
I wish you would have held me dear.
Pages and pages of memories filled with you are being lost,
the turning of time is the un-writing of our story.
I didn't see it when the letters began to fade;
I didn't see the days you stayed away.
I keep turning the pages hoping to see your scrawl,
but each turn reveals more empty space.
I've become blind to the world as I search for you,
I’ve forgotten how to write memories without you around.
I held your heart in blank spaces of my mind,
It was there that I hoped your love could bloom,
That the fruits of our love could become my ink,
Oh the memories we would paint.
I see you in the foreseeable future,
I want to hold you beyond the imagination,
Love is promised but ocean divides everything,
Just don't leave...
Oct 8, 2016
Oct 8, 2016 at 1:51 PM UTC
I guess
I've been feeling listless
Physically I'm well
But I'm far from my best
I really want some excitement
But I don't know where to find it
I'm in a life based rut
But
I'm breathing, healthy and strong
And I know this slowdown won't last for long
Jan 20, 2016
Jan 20, 2016 at 5:05 PM UTC
Leave it alone
I've done all I can and now it's time to go
Perhaps I'll drive home
This bottle once spoke now it screams through my throat
And I swear to you I feel alive
As I swerve from lane to lane, from left to right
Don't try to stop me now; I can feel again
But I promise I'll still crash the ******* car just the same.
I swear to you, I felt alive.
But maybe I didn't want to be.
Jul 13, 2015
Jul 13, 2015 at 8:42 AM UTC
Heart attack man lies, fallen
Splayed out like the Vitruvian da Vinci .
The sidewalk his bed of lilies,
while a woman cries over him.
Another man, in a wife beater, kneels down
and starts compressions.
His face turning blue, the same color blue
as his neck tattoos.
The tattoos disappearing-- causing traffic to stop.
One cop car stops, blocking the intersection.
Lights in eye aching flashes
alert others to the danger.
They flash, "don't look here death is prowling"
in an Aldis lamp language only the subconscious reads.
The man in the wife beater beats compressions on the mans chest
while a Nurse pulls over and another cop shows up with a defibrillator.
His blue face looks like mine, I see the resemblance as I drive past the scene.
He's nearly my age and I figure there is enough help.
Just drive on past like its another day.
I try not to tell myself, as I pass the blue faced ghost with the neck tattoos
just standing in shock,
"Whatever you do, do not make eye contact."
May 27, 2015
May 27, 2015 at 4:07 PM UTC
I don't know what I'm doing anymore
but I know I'm doing it all wrong
Jan 2, 2015
Jan 2, 2015 at 11:14 PM UTC
Let the haunted emptiness
Let it take me away
Carry me into deep darkness
Lift me out of this day
Close my eyes with nights caress
And sleep enclose and unwind
For the relief of my stress
And I float in a dreaming mind
The morphing shadows of black
Swirl in terrifying scenes
In fear I try escape back
To such a place without dreams
Now listlessly awake I lay
Tired, but unable to rest
Sleeplessly caught in the sway
To far gone, drifting in grey
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 12:21 AM UTC