#lifestruggles
2 cups of burnt memories,
Each grain holds sorrow more than glory.
A pinch of loneliness,
In which more is never less.
A spoonful of tears of sorrow,
Unfulfilled promises that weigh tomorrow.
Knead the broken heart into a dough,
Sing about life, how it always gets low.
Patience of yeast, let it sit.
So much space, yet soft dough forced to fit.
Shove it inside the oven of unbearable pain,
Hardness and numbness burn in every flame.
After a break of untimely rain,
Open the soul which lost its name.
Sprinkle a spoon of broken dreams,
Season with hopeless, clouded cream.
How to face the result if it comes as
waste?
Now, dear reader, it's time for you to taste.
If it tastes bad, kindly don't blame
Every baker, unfortunately, is never the same.
Pardon that the golden color is always late.
What to do? This world never left
more ingredients in my cabinet.
Apr 6
Apr 6, 2026 at 3:33 PM UTC
I could not
for the life of me
see anything
past eighteen.
Upon this earth
a terrible curse -
a true bane
of society.
Five years?
Pah -
The only hope I'd ever had,
was to be alive
in the end.
To see what lies
beyond the bend.
And so came
nineteen
...
and twenty
...
and now,
nearly thirty.
I am still looking
beyond the bend.
By the Gods,
Where does it end?
Jul 23, 2025
Jul 23, 2025 at 4:13 PM UTC
The world of lies, with hollow eyes,
No, it is not the place for me.
You know I'm lonely—so lonely,
No one beside me, lost in the sea.
I long for a soulmate to carve a name
In the golden sands by the restless waves.
But the tides will come and wash it away—
Who do I turn to? Who will stay?
The sun exists, yet hides at night,
Just like me—I seem alright,
But deep inside, I fight my plight.
This world is a shadow, near in light,
Gone in the dark, out of sight.
This world won't change, I know it's true—
But one day, gold will come to you.
Let the dogs bark, let them sneer,
One day, their voices will disappear.
If they won’t let you fly, walk the sky,
If they block your path, keep moving by.
Push ahead, no matter how,
Chase your dreams, don’t stop now.
Without pain, life is incomplete,
Wings will sprout, though your back may bleed.
This world won’t change, but still, I try.
I am alone, lost in the night.
I don’t know when or how I’ll fall,
But I know—again—I’ll hit the floor.
****** tears from words that sting,
Yet life sways like a see-saw swing.
One day you're high, one day you're low,
But through it all, you learn and grow.
Mar 29, 2025
Mar 29, 2025 at 7:10 AM UTC
I’m bombarded with everything and nothing at the same time
Everybody wants something from me and I’m too fed up to reply
I hate that at these hard times I’m turning my back
And running away instead of facing it with pride
The moment I wanted to step out outside ,
I realized I have no one to share laugh
And I know I have no one to blame but myself
But honestly, I get sicker and sicker each day
Jan 18, 2025
Jan 18, 2025 at 12:54 PM UTC
Why, are expectations so high
I miss you so much but this life
What's with these rhymes
A gust of wind, A falling leaf
A will to live, An uncertain belief
Feels wasteful and tasteless
Abruptly it's hateful and shameless
Why must we be this way
Can't we reforge this friendship
Can't we again be happy and not feel restless
Can't we be what we were
Can't we?
I love you so much that it hurts
Trust me when I blurt this I combust
I'm blasted, I hate it when you halt
I made this and as I felt your touch
Vanishing with each passing sec of clock
I'm tired, I'm crying but it won't be heard
It may seem a bit selfish, and it shall be Interesting to watch me crumble like a bottle of maple syrup
Unworthy of such ballsy tauntings of submerging in an ocean-full of flaunting daydreams
Excluding the haunting of nightmarish ranting inside this thought of mine
Unexpectedly these words are daunting
To me it's a gateway of something
Seemingly meaningless but resolving
Touchè to someone
Terrible to some
It's but these words are iconic
For even in the "illuminating" world
It shines darker than ever
Many hate it, but I love it
After all it's all in the flows
Just like water
Beautiful but menacing
Calm but Destructive
Gentle yet Unfathomably cruel
Apr 16, 2024
Apr 16, 2024 at 7:50 AM UTC
This gift called life sometimes seems like the unwanted kind
and you find yourself trying to be clever, tape it back together.
You don’t know whether to complain
so you refrain from saying “Hey, this is not what I put on my list”
and so you miss your opportunity to speak your truth, to speak your pain.
But see, it’s never too late to call it out!
Your story is about your chronology, there is no expiry for being real about how you feel- your authenticity.
So take the gift again and know that it doesn’t always have to be about endless happiness and joie de vie.
The gift is the journey, not all paths are paved. Not all angels triumph nor all sinners saved.
Hold fast to hope, knowing that it has no end and your true gift just might be revealed around the bend.
Sep 20, 2021
Sep 20, 2021 at 7:06 PM UTC
One love
Only had one love that mattered.
The rest were just for fun.
My heart was completely splattered,
By her true love gun.
She blew me away and I never returned.
Spent a lifetime of hurt wishing for another her,
But no-one matched up to the idea of an ideal love,
So I'm stuck in this rut for twenty years plus.
(C)2020 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Nov 25, 2020
Nov 25, 2020 at 10:26 AM UTC
Goodbye, addiction, my killer vice
I've come to realise it destroys ones life
Because a little starts a web of lies
As your true inner self slowly dies
And the person inside hides from itself
Blaming the cards you were dealt
Coming from within the drug of deception
In my search for meaning I just couldn’t wait
Took a gamble with an old schoolmate
Behind the now derelict, but once busy hardware shop
I blew it all up, until my head was about to pop
Then my heart felt like it was jumping out of my skin
That’ll be the last time, never again
Until my mind craved the drug of deception
And while in a crazy trance I saw
Three headed creatures, six eyes or more
Creatures stalking without a cause
Creatures nearing without a pause
Creatures appearing from nowhere on my trip
My mouth tight lipped
Caused by the drug of deception
"Help" said I, "I want them to go
Caused by a lost souls woes
Take notice my friends, save yourselves
Take my advice for it could help yourselves."
But my addiction like so many in life
All fall into the drug of deception
All of us in society at times have troubles
Try and find a way out of your mystery puzzle
The choice is yours alone, so never ever handball
All of us in some way, are marooned on an island
Wandering around trying to contact the mainland
But it’s free to move to another thinking way
So instead live every moment, of every single day
Better than being lost to the drug of deception.
Nov 18, 2020
Nov 18, 2020 at 9:11 PM UTC
Interesting Times
We live in interesting times when it comes to rhymes.
I can say what I want but never mind.
I went a little insane when I lost my love life,
But like I said…Interesting times.
You can never be bored when dancing with the Devil.
Being so close to natural born evil.
Free the people for the people.
Always on the level when talking of my steeple.
Never had an ego that you could quash.
Don’t love myself, or you, or God.
Raised on love, brainwashed into believing.
Now all I have is endless dreaming.
Stuck at work building a future.
Seems so pointless when I have not even met her,
But loves prevails! It’s the perfect fail.
Setting sail on the journey of a loser.
Gave up age eleven; stopped believing in Heaven.
Depression set in and woe is me again.
Everywhere I looked I saw the signs,
The eternal sighs, the crying eyes,
The lies, the lies, they shaped my life.
Thought about suicide, didn’t like it.
An idea too big for a scared little kid.
Stood up tall, took the verbal kicks.
Spent too long saying “I’m with stupid.”
I guess intelligence is always relative,
When it comes to someone becoming relevant.
Never liked a dummy C-class student.
D is for life, still becoming a numan.
All I have now is me, myself and I.
Scatter-gun tongue gives me a sharp side,
And I will bite back if you are worthy.
Most are worthless…hope you heard me.
(C)2020 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Sep 23, 2020
Sep 23, 2020 at 5:12 AM UTC
Been trackin' my journey, along The Mississippi Delta line
***** drugs or just bad luck, has put my life into decline
Broken family, abusive mother, stepfather would only groan
When bashed for not eatin' my mash, ran into the unknown
Hitched my thumb out, on the famous route 66 to LA
Cruisin' with girls, in a pickup, hair all messed up, in a Chevrolet
A door just shut in my mind, with a bang
California sounds, like a good place to hang
The sunshine means you can go surfin' all year long
Locals told me, it's where they felt it was the place to belong
Handsome dude, gob smackin' tanned Californian gal
Fitness freak ***** boulevard busker high on morale
Never stay about for a brutal end to the day
Make the ones hurtin' you, instead of nurturing, pay
Wave the middle finger, as you slam the door shut
In a life on your own, like an island,not in a rut
Be the one, seeking the sun, your life definitely more rotund
In the end, remember, life is a ticket without a refund.
Mar 12, 2020
Mar 12, 2020 at 6:36 AM UTC
The blues are in us all, no matter where your from
Not just in Uncle Sam or from a good ole Uncle Tom
If bitten, there’s all sorts of tricks and charms
If no color doctor about, tune into blues, to heal your qualms
But don’t sing it, if you aren’t prepared to bring it
Bottles are going to sink and eventually hit
Walls will be crawled up, then bounced off, in a rage of fit
But it’ll take a lifetime dose of blues music, to rid every **** hurting bit.
Feb 27, 2020
Feb 27, 2020 at 3:36 AM UTC
She lie
She get by
He’s a guy
He’s so sly
She got no father
Just a fake stepfather
He got a family
All in jail, actually
They are meant for each other
They’re expecting, so she’ll soon be a mother
Their others a girl, now she’ll have a brother
They don’t own a house, they’d rather squatter
Thrown out again, forever living in squalor
Not a dollar for food, now she’s a robber
She’ll be living with in-laws soon, wearing a collar
So yes, the little girl and me the brother
We once called her, our dearly beloved mother.
Jan 6, 2020
Jan 6, 2020 at 12:58 AM UTC
means allowing yourself to give up
means breaking your own heart to save whats left
means forgiving
means gifting yourself a chance to heal
Sep 2, 2019
Sep 2, 2019 at 6:10 PM UTC
I was a kid when I looked up at the sky
I was a kid when I pointed my finger at that star
I was a kid when I made that solemn vow that night
I was just a little kid with a big dream
A small body with a huge energy
I was innocent but my eyes were a mystery
All that was flashing through my mind was success
I was feeling a twinge of envy for those TV superstars
I was praying to god help me confess
Until that day when courage filled my heart
And my lips finally whispered my plan
Mama, I do remember that look in your eyes,
That surge of anxiety you felt,
That lack of confidence you had in me,
Those questions written on your face,
Would I be able to survive?
Would I make it alive?
Papa, I still think about what you wanted me to be,
An open-minded child with a brighter destiny,
You were standing still like a silent hill,
It smashed my hope but it didn’t tear my faith apart
I was running through blurry woods
Looking for the right door
To take me where I thought I belong,
Yes I made it that time
Mother father, drew that smile but it was obviously fake
I wasn’t ready to quit
I was fully aware, it was my journey,
I swore that I would be the pride of my family
I ignored my adventuring youth and work hard for the glory
I endured the pain and aches in order to write my story
After everything I’ve done, here I am,
Felt like my fingertips are barely touching my childhood star
But visibly, it ain’t my Betelgeuse supernova
I’m swimming in an ocean of doubts
Still wondering if this is really what I chose
Day by day I keep questioning myself
Did I make a mistake?
Those people who have been walking just half of my path
Are already holding their shooting stars
Shining like a diamond
Just tell me who’s to blame?
Give me just one answer, why I’m stuck here going nowhere?
I’ve got a million queries choking me
I tried to run away but they keep following me
As soon as I blink my eyelids, I see my dreams fly away
Every day they price my talent but still underrated
You say it’s not my fault so tell me why I can’t keep moving on?
My future is covered by those heavy clouds
So what could happen if I lost myself in the middle of this road?
What if I fall down and live like a forgotten shadow?
I’m completely lost but I’m not strong enough to start over
Maybe I should come through this **** until my life’s nightmare winds up
Would I be able to see the light at the end of this show?
Or maybe die midway with an extensive regret?
Sep 15, 2018
Sep 15, 2018 at 8:02 PM UTC
Oh yes I talk about trying, don't pardon me
Innocence has nothing to fear, this is what hardened me
Just quit man, give up, be the pawn in world chess these thought never cordon me
Rise for you may not reign, but rise for you may be right.. this is the lesson that gardened me
I was in the zone too, I still feel low at times, but I fought and will fight everytime, atleast now I know what my stardom is
Never counted much on anyone, because sometimes when did I got to know what the word phantom means
And trust me I do have dreadful nightmares, but i don't let them warden me
Because what's much bigger and brighter is my dream and the ones I want to live it with, that is what that heartens me
Over expectations, just like over exposure to light, gives you darkened s(K)in
Same people, same situation but different faces, learnt allotropes are not found in carbon only
Was down and low and in pieces, survived, now I am coming thundering for the win
Dream, travel, love, express, experience so the world knows you not just some iron molding
Everyone's at war, some fighting for glory, some voicing their story.. latter is how I unburden me
Miseries in abundance, it's HOPE that forms the basis of my ardent leap.
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 16, 2018 at 6:41 AM UTC
Lately, I don't understand.
I don't understand how,
How I can't control the water that rolls down my eyes like a waterfall.
It's meant to flow when I'm sad,
It's meant to assist me when I'm sober.
It does the opposite,
It makes me feel no remorse.
It makes me feel powerful.
Sometimes, I question it,
"Why have thee forsaken me when I need thee?"
it still does not reply.
I feel powerless over it.
it has more control.
One day, I stayed in the darkness.
my eyes were closed.
I was trying to blind myself from reality.
I was trying to create a world full of my own fantasies.
But it didn't work out well.
Tears crept in from behind,
they woke me up.
I was so close to escaping but they brought me back.
I tried to hold them in but they came faster than I ever imagined.
They sneaked in through a Trojan horse.
An unforeseen enemy.
They made me feel vulnerable.
I didn't need them but they came.
I'm sure they laughed because of the victory,
I cried because of my pain.
Apr 2, 2018
Apr 2, 2018 at 11:48 PM UTC
Fear
It runs through me
I don’t understand it
But it makes me scramble
Makes me scream
So many things to fear
Enough to make me cry
What if they get divorced?
What if they never forgive me?
What if they find out?
What if you change your mind?
What if I lose you?
And then lose them?
It could be crippling
It could get control
It could drive me
It could cut me
It could **** me
But will it?
Will I let it?
Each day I make a choice
I have control
It will not win
It will not cut me
It will not ******* me
I have strength
I have hope
My life is my own
That’s right
It’s your turn to run
It’s your turn to flee
I control you
I will live
I won’t hold back
It is better to take a risk
To love,
To hope,
To dream,
To dance,
It’s better to take a risk
Than never try at all
Fear is small
I am rich in soul
And powerful in mind.
This life is mine.
Fear.
May 23, 2016
May 23, 2016 at 3:11 PM UTC
With no rhyme or reason
I suddenly feel
furious and angry and frustrated and enraged
This is a time when my emotions
will destroy everything in my path
if left uncaged
It is a time when
I feel like a wrecking ball;
No, not the Miley Cyrus song-
A real wrecking ball to tear down the walls
Break through it all
Screams echoing down the hall
To fall on nonexistent ears
This is a time when I just want to
scream and cry and scream and cry,
and then cry and scream again
But my screams went silent long ago
And my tears just don’t fall
Crystalline in the lamplight
And maybe that’s why
Once upon a time
Blood stained the grimy bathtub floor
Dripping from the chasms that I opened
on my arms and legs and hips
Bottomless holes to set my demons free
Stop the screaming
The blood flowed the way the tears would not
Clean and strong, keep flowing on
Not afraid to leak past the surface of my skin
But blood is not an option anymore
A promise made, broken, made fresh again
I will not break my promise again
And I just wish that the tears would flow
clear and clean, emptying me
But I’m afraid to cry, splotchy red face
embarrassing me
Someone once told me
that I am strong
because I was brave enough to just go on
But bottled-up emotions and blood in the bathub isn’t strong
And I feel like an old Linkin Park song
So someone just tell me what the **** is wrong with me
‘Cause everytime I try to figure it out, I’m wrong
Older faces, wiser than me
tell me that nothing right now will last permanently
But anxiety like this, crippling heartbeat,
That doesn’t just go away
And I think the only reason I’m here today
is fear and true love;
Hope saved me so I may one day see
Sunlight on my child’s face, lighting up green eyes, my eyes
But I have to survive the hardest part first
and this is just the beginning
Fear pinning me down won’t let me move on
But love keeps me strong so I can still live on
But the darkness keeps nipping at my heels, so I run on
And sunlight brightens my scars.
Mar 10, 2016
Mar 10, 2016 at 7:27 AM UTC
Exhausted isn't the correct word, as it's more of mind and soul. I bounced to many reality checks, it must've taken a toll.
I couldn't keep on trudging through dreams, while sitting before the hallows. Wasting wishes on nonsense things, while they leave me at the gallows.
I've hung my head in defeat, so many times before. But I'm at that twisted point in life, where I can't take much more.
Shadows follow me where I may go, voices so sinister and wicked. We ***** our fingers on spinning wheels, ignoring what was long ago predicted.
Backwards bones of forgotten men, lay in disarray. All because life's a ***** and she wants to make you pay.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 12:03 AM UTC
Its nothing I can say, only something I can feel. If only I could wake up and know it isn't real.
I lost it, through my fingers let it slip. Heard and felt it in my heart as it broke away and ripped.
Grief can never be a comfort, as time goes ticking fast. But I know for people like me, happiness doesn't last.
I sit and wait, for this test in life just to finally end. But we know from past lessons learned, that sorrow has no friend.
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 10:46 AM UTC