#lifechanging
Shame on me
Shame on me for not pushing the label further.
Shame on me for not recognizing your true colors.
Shame on me for being deceived by your continuous empty promises.
Shame on me for ignoring the endless trail of red flags.
Shame on me for embracing your abuse with open arms.
Shame on me for accepting your disrespect.
Shame on me for allowing you to destroy the tenacious woman I am.
Shame on me
May 23, 2023
May 23, 2023 at 10:23 AM UTC
We forget we’re eternal.
Like a circle in motion,
Spinning forever with no resistance.
There’s no distance between us.
We are joined inter-connectedly.
I can’t see the end of me.
Feb 20, 2023
Feb 20, 2023 at 5:11 PM UTC
Down many roads
Behind me
Over many hills
And weaving, wandering ways
Through shadows and through light
Of the distant dappled past
Filled with faint whispers of
Familiar sounds and smells
And faded, sun-bleached colors
In the echoing halls
Of the castle of my childhood
When the hinges of the wooden doors
Swing singing to a slam
And shake the walls with
Their tremendous thunder
And the steps outside grow distant
And all is still
And dark
And cold
…Among the chilly labyrinths of stairs and stone
And looming darkness, and the moving shadows…
There is a room.
Light leaps and laughs
Behind the lock,
Around the door,
And floating on the dark, the eerie air,
With dazzling bejeweled wings of silver,
…there shines a voice.
It flies, it trembles and
It sighs and soars.
It beckons to my stricken heart
To follow;
Stabbing my listless soul to life
It beats its wings against the bars
And flutters up, away, and through that door
Into the light.
With every note and every chord
With every song, the Voice’s flame burned deeper
Melting in waves of tremulous heat
My icy soul
And calling me to come
To hear, to listen, and to unlock
That door.
The room became my kingdom
In this prison
My fiery home of joy
Within those haunted halls
Where my heart could leap,
My eyes could weep,
My soul be shaken with the soaring songs;
The Voice summoned me deeper, darting, ringing
Echoing through all my blood and bone
Until it changed them.
And in the strength it gave me
I stumbled to the window in the wall;
I saw there were no iron bars at all,
But an endless starry sky of hopes and dreams
A great wide world just waiting to be seen.
Since then, my feet and heart
Have traveled far
Through crowds and cities,
Fields, dusty lanes,
Through scenes and sunsets,
Never two the same;
There is a scar: an ache, a vivid memory
Still tender to the touch
That tries to turn me
Backward, time and time again,
But I cannot go and open up the castle;
For time looms, frowning, standing in my way,
My childhood buried quietly
Beneath the bony fingers of the trees
That sway and whisper in the castle’s dark
And miles and miles of sad and sunny days
Have filled the place
Between.
But if my soul had form, and solid shape,
Or if my heart could beat exposed
To show the world what sparked it to its rhythm
You would find, burnt deeply
Into every fiber
The branded image
Of two silver wings—
The symbol of the trembling Voice that sang
(With truth and power enough to break a chain)--
My shackled soul
To an eternal
Freedom.
May 31, 2019
May 31, 2019 at 12:57 PM UTC
The moment I broke
Quick and then slow
Merciless and then cruel
When I could not stand up for myself
And you did not either
When I realised I could not do it all alone
And people started leaving
When I needed a way out
Not knowing where the exit was
When I needed peace and silence
And you kept disturbing it
When I needed a parent
And you told me about your father
When I took some time to reflect
And you thought I could handle you
It was when you grabbed my arm
And I wanted you to let go
It was when you let me go
And then you let me go again
Quick and then slow
Merciless and then cruel
Oct 3, 2017
Oct 3, 2017 at 8:15 AM UTC
Rushing to reach the other side
Because you crossed the street on red.
Your ******* getting hard when they touch the cold,hard ground
It happened so fast, didn't it?
Your eyes wide shut..
Feeling the ground vibrating under your body.
Cars coming closer.
Simple scare,
Insane energy,
Adrenaline rush.
You can feel your blood creeping through veins,
Electric thoughts trying to make you move,
Calm heartbeats telling you not to,
Because every cell of your being is feeling alive.
That's how it felt when you first walked in on a sad Monday morning
Eyes met.
The perfect fit
Just like cigarettes after ***
My mind exploding In colors
While your lips moved.
Can I have a cappuccino please ?
Jun 10, 2017
Jun 10, 2017 at 10:43 AM UTC
My mind is a mess
My thoughts are all jumbled
My eyes are seeing things
That aren't really there
My behavior is changing
My sleeping is changing
My life is changing
For the worst
I have schizophrenia
May 23, 2016
May 23, 2016 at 4:27 AM UTC