#jules
dear jules,
i know you wouldn't be proud of me. i know you thought for a bit about who you wanted to be and you were clearheaded and cool and you were learning to skateboard and **** i gave that up. i was too tired, i promise. i let you down.
if i had kept your name and your style and your face, who would i be? still you? still sad? still grieving? still empty all the way through your body and still the girl alone in your room, nothing to fill the trench carved in your heart?
worse
would i be happy, if i never changed? that's my worse nightmare, and even worse is that i can still write to you like this, put the poem on the right side of my stream so it means it's from me to me, and i still consider you me. i hate that. you're not me. you're not me you're not me you're not me.
but you are. and so are mei, juna, arlot.
breathe. listen, hard. you can hear the seattle rain, the same sound as that night when you decided to go with vivi's choice and be renne.
r.
Apr 2
Apr 2, 2026 at 11:13 PM UTC
maybe you think it's weird that
your name
also used to be my name
or maybe you just think i'm weird in general
but i hope that's something you like about me too
Dec 17, 2025
Dec 17, 2025 at 10:48 PM UTC
She dances
a demon's tinder
through a voice
not her own
purring Appalachia
as if born to it
But it's not the voice I hear
I hear how it was
Sounds and sights
twenty years gone
on those streets
on that railing
through those halls
in that cold
She's in other halls now
on other tracks
down other roads
warm and shadowed
by a different
firelight
Did she change
certainly
Did I
doubtful
Maybe
I just never
really knew
her
voice
Oct 16, 2020
Oct 16, 2020 at 10:31 AM UTC
I heard crying as i walk to the door
When i peer in the doorway
i see you laying on the floor
Looking up in the ceiling
you jump when u realize i'm there
though your eyes lack emotions
..."how are you feeling?"
One phrase broke your silence
you struggle to spit out a ....Fine
but you know you cant lie to me
your eyes tear up.. your "strong" facade breaks...
Violet walls.... i stare at them surrounding us...suffocating us
U ask "does it get better?" what happens to us?
"Eventually it does... there will be something...someone
Dont underestimate its power, its magic
it will be the reason we lived"
"Your so confident, how are you so sure
do u remember what i'm going through
do u remember who u were?", she asks
"Of course I remember every since day
with flashbacks and panic attack
but with this gift I will always find a way"
"U and i will be okay"
"Just focus on yourself not everyone else
they don't care about u
they used us, only caring about their self"
"U will see that "she" the gift...is different
she is the best thing that happen this year
no longer will we care about them, what they're doing or where they went. Love is a powerful thing
Love that is unconditional is even better "
"Everyone deserves someone to truly love them and I'm just so grateful to have been given someone too"
She wipes the tears off of her face, stands up and messages a random girl on Hello Poetry ....and that is
This is where my story really began
Oct 10, 2019
Oct 10, 2019 at 1:06 PM UTC
Jules why did we come here? We're walking across wet sand and hugging onto boulders, that are boomerang shaped. You hold an electric lantern and glow with light, as you walk along the shore. The stars shine brilliantly and I am sad because you don't look at me look the way you look at that lion-shaped rock.
I chew on gum and try to forget about the fact that you're puffing on a Marlboro light. My Uncle died of cancer two months ago, and this is why I now chew on dentine ice. You tell me to stop smacking my lips. I want to push you in your chest, grab your cigarette, and burn a hole in your cardigan. But I bought that cardigan for you last Christmas. It cost a whole paycheck.
I need a better job. But you got me that job. So at the same time, I'm grateful to work at a country club, sweeping the tennis courts with a broom, as I watch young people swing and miss with their racquets. The clouds begin to darken and cluster above the beach. My knee shakes violently and I know it's about to thunder and boom with hard rain.
I open my mouth and try to put my arm around you, pulling you in closer. But you start to climb a rock, crawling on its lopsided surface, and digging your heels into its cracks. You toss the Marlboro **** and brighten the intensity on the lantern. The light spreads across the rock and the beach, like glass shattering onto a tiled floor. You hold the bright lantern in front of your face.
I can no longer see your brown eyes, your black, curly hair, and your jagged nose. You look at me. But all I see is that bright and shining light covering and shrouding your silhouette. You turn right and stare affectionately at the lion shaped rock. I swallow my gum. I pick the cigarette pack from the sandy floor. I flick the lighter. My eyes close.
I miss you.
Dec 31, 2016
Dec 31, 2016 at 6:04 PM UTC