#jonghyun
even whilst you hang
beautifully in the sky,
you’re eternally
writing music for us
as you move the tide
rhythmically,
creating a harmony
that brings balance
to this earth.
Mar 19, 2021
Mar 19, 2021 at 4:26 PM UTC
04:25
in the night nearly morning
i do miss you again
when the silence embraced me
i just starting to miss you
for 3 years that i stuck in the past
i do miss you everyday
my friend told me ‘you should find another inspiration’
i answer i cannot the one who replaced you
And the final thought
by my side
this place are still you and it will be you as always
my third spring is coming in 3 months
my third spring without you is also coming in 3 months
how can i pass the sad spring
Jan 9, 2021
Jan 9, 2021 at 5:04 AM UTC
you said with the heart of a friend
'you loved me forever'
don't say those words again
they are so light to you but are too heavy to me
this heart must have given you a hard time
I'll back off a little, I'll wait
I'll stand far away so that you're comfortable
Feb 20, 2020
Feb 20, 2020 at 8:19 PM UTC
the moon shines brightly tonight
his pale face peers down on me
as i wonder
whydidyouleaveme
if he is okay
up there all alone
pleasecomeback
Jul 21, 2019
Jul 21, 2019 at 5:16 AM UTC
there was one night when i got home from work.
my family was getting ready to go to sleep while i was just barely taking off my shoes.
i dragged my body up the stairs and into my room where i leaned against my doorway.
it was thanksgiving.
my older sister began telling me everything i missed and i began to relive my work day.
something in my chest began to feel heavy.
and once again,
i needed a hug.
my mouth felt zipped,
i couldn't open it if i tried.
i remember slowly falling to my knees.
still in my work clothes,
i began to cry.
oh how badly i wanted to spend this holiday with my family,
oh how badly i just wanted that day to be over so i could consider it the past.
the present felt like a sharp pain in my chest.
i closed my eyes as tears made their way down my face.
in that quiet, painful moment
i felt arms around me.
i let myself go completely.
the silent tears turned into sobs as my head dug into my older sisters shoulder.
she rubbed my back and told me i did good, that she was proud of me,
that i did well.
Apr 23, 2019
Apr 23, 2019 at 2:26 PM UTC
a year's passed us by,
i'm still not ready to say
goodbye. i love you.
a year's passed us by,
i'm still not ready to say
goodbye. i need you.
a year's passed us by,
but you're still here by my side.
always be with you.
Dec 17, 2018
Dec 17, 2018 at 12:00 PM UTC
for i cannot tell a lie
i really do hate being alive
i hate knowing that there's a mere six litres of blood in our bodies
that's three two-litre bottles of soda
three two-litre bottles of soda
is all that keeps me here
and i hate it
i hate knowing that the leafcutter ant can hold up to fifty times its weight in its jaw
and i can't even hold myself up throughout the day
for there is no one weaker than i
no one who has struggled as much as i
and i hate it
i hate knowing
that the people i once knew
and opened myself up to
have blocked me out of their minds
but i can't seem to get them out of mine
i hate that so much
but i'm not filled with hate
i love the moon
the moon is all i have left in life to look up and look forward to
and on the nights where he hides
and i can only see him behind closed eyes
i hope he can still hear me
when i tell him i've been doing just fine
and i'm not lying
i really mean it, i swear
i mean
it's just so hard these days, you know?
wish you were here
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 6:14 PM UTC
missing you comes in waves
and i drown in them every time
Dec 2, 2018
Dec 2, 2018 at 6:14 PM UTC
misery is when
the phases of the moon
are all there is left
to look forward to
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 7:37 PM UTC
you have brought me light
and now, i know not of how
to see without you
Oct 5, 2018
Oct 5, 2018 at 9:44 AM UTC
i'm sorry
you couldn't find anything
to firmly grasp
i'm sorry
i couldn't be there
to hold you in my arms
“he's in a happier place”,
they tell me,
but i know it's not enough
when i know that,
without you,
my happy place is lost
Dec 18, 2017
Dec 18, 2017 at 11:55 AM UTC
i hope that,
ever since you replaced the moon,
the stars are always singing you to sleep.
Aug 31, 2018
Aug 31, 2018 at 4:17 PM UTC
Every night I look up to the sky
wondering if you see me
I talk with my face to space
wondering if you hear me
Every night I look at the stars
looking for the brightest one
because I know that that's you
you will always shine the brightest
Every night I ask you if you're alright
you deserve to be
because you did well
and you work hard
you deserve to know that
Every night I tell you that you're worth it
that you fought so well
and that I will never leave your side
because you're not alone
Every night I ask myself
why it still hurts so much
this aching pain inside my heart
no matter what I do
it isn't fading
Every night the tears stream down my face
while listening to your beautiful songs
Breath, Lonely, End of a Day
they all say how you really felt
Every night I feel sorry
that I couldn't erase your pain
I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you
even when you screamed for help in your songs
we still didn't hear it
Every night I realise
you made me happy
you made we laugh
even though you were in pain
you still made me smile
Every night I wonder
if you're finally at peace now
no more tears, no more pain
just happiness and love
Every night I thank you
for the beautiful memories
and for the meaningful songs you left behind
I will treasure it forever
Every night I hope that you're looking down
watching over us
looking back at the beautiful memories you made here
with your members, family, friends and fans
And every night I tell you that I love you
I love you Jonghyun-ah
Aug 26, 2018
Aug 26, 2018 at 1:38 PM UTC
a glass chalice shattered on marble steps,
a cherub speared by his own arrow—
do not tell me you do not hear it.
where moon boys and glossy girls live boldly,
they glow, shining and tacky like transparent saran
wrap
a rope around your neck and
stay.
for where death is present, so too is its midwife.
inhale exhale
in the dark
help guide me to the exit sign
oh! perform for the lords and ladies,
lie down under lights and washes of blushing love,
over your body
lay a rose for crows who do not sing.
but beware, when slowly will a golden shroud descend
and you will fall to your knees.
(as petals fall to the ground, so soft)
and it will part a way
(if buttery light could cleave so)
not clear but swiftly fading, slowing
illuminated faintly dimly glowing
above me reaching inhale
exhale inhale exhale inha—
thank you.
.
oh fallen child, where have you gone?
is there really balm in Gilead
or is that the mistaken hope of every saint and sinner?
it is a silent night tonight, blessed with only one star,
and i hope that it is yours.
for the world went black when you closed your eyes
and will need new seeds of light.
how did we fail you so badly?
how did we fail to see underneath, fail to
hear you screaming, telling us you felt wrong.
you spoke out for us, lifted us in our silence,
and yet, we said nary a word during yours.
it is not hard to tell someone they are loved.
to let them know that they have done well, that they have worked hard;
to lighten someone’s heart with a simple word or two.
for in this life of stop and go, the rush and sigh of a few billion souls
runs fast like rapids beneath the feet, and
it is not so hard to be
lost ,
swept up amidst a current of
mockingly pulsating restless life,
all the while being buried ,
fathoms beneath a violent sea of wrath,
a tempest held in depthless waters, a fight unresolved—
where, under the shadows of a brooding cloud and a weeping rain,
our sorrows will wash over us.
but what good is a battle unwitnessed?
address it say its name.
stop hiding it behind plastic flowers and brittle leaves,
under rice-paper skin and honey smiles.
rip the valance off
of this drapery of deceit
and lay bare before the world the truth.
it was suicide.
he took his life.
mental health is real.
perfection is not.
reach out.
speak up.
give love.
if anyone can be saved, then
let not your death be in vain.
.
rest in paradise, jonghyun.
Aug 4, 2018
Aug 4, 2018 at 4:25 PM UTC
your soul was a rose petal
delicate and beautiful to those who ever had the pleasure of seeing it
you were a rose with no thorns
too pure for the cruel world
unable to fight back
you fought anyway
and you tried
and I will try
for you
Jul 4, 2018
Jul 4, 2018 at 4:31 PM UTC
i tried to breathe without by my side.
although we weren't conjoined at the hip and you didn't know what my favorite color was,
we were a part of each other.
i can still see your eyes turning into half moons,
and i still remember the way you laughed and your mannerisms.
you're in everything i do,
in everything i say.
i try to breathe without you but it hurts too much and i've come to the conclusion that i can't breathe without you.
May 11, 2018
May 11, 2018 at 12:42 PM UTC
i did it.
weeks of staying up and crying out of frustration,
taking classes online,
learning myself.
it all paid off.
for you.
i hope you're proud of me.
this is for you.
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 12:09 AM UTC
you.
puppy eyes.
you.
a smile that cured my sadness.
you.
a presence that made me feel okay.
i laid in bed almost every night,
fighting with the night sky named you.
i tried to comfort myself with the thought that things and myself would never be the same again.
for when it rained on saturday,
i couldn't say i enjoyed it.
everything reminds me of you which is okay,
but it keeps hitting me that you're
not here.
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 23, 2018 at 8:47 AM UTC
where are you?
are you wondering through the streets of dubai or japan?
maybe in the forests of colorado?
do you smile looking down at us?
there are moments where i swear,
you are everything.
i wish i could hold you again.
if i write a letter in a bottle and let it sail,
will you read it?
are you peacefully laying on a cloud helping the sun rise?
do you have control of the color of the sky in the mornings?
simply,
i miss you.
Apr 18, 2018
Apr 18, 2018 at 12:19 PM UTC
it's been two months,
yet not a day has gone by without me thinking of you.
you were an angel that had gotten lost and fell on earth.
the angel that none of us deserved,
but needed.
through your beautiful lyrics,
you touched our hearts
and brought fixed our shattered hearts.
you were always so happy,
but you were unhappy
no one noticed your pain,
your screams for help,
your screams for someone to just tell you
that you did an amazing job.
and two months ago,
you found your way back home.
Feb 18, 2018
Feb 18, 2018 at 10:13 PM UTC
you made me laugh,
you made me smile,
while you were hurting inside
all this while.
i just wish i knew more
when you were still breathing
now all that's left
are our grieving
wherever you are now,
i hope you're happier,
i hope you achieve optimum
i hope your smile is brighter
it will always hurt,
knowing you chose this path
and knowing i couldn't help
nor could anyone do 'nough
kim jong-hyun,
there will not be a day
the world doesn't mourn
there will not be a day
your sacrifice go unseen
there will not be a day
i won't miss you.
rest in peace,
my dear childhood idol,
you did well,
you did well.
Dec 28, 2017
Dec 28, 2017 at 3:06 AM UTC
A blue moon shone in the sky
a bright sign you are still with us
do miss us like we miss you?
although your body is gone
your soul still lingers
i am so sorry
free from the pain
you watch over us from the stars
thank you
rest now
we are going to be ok
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 11:13 AM UTC
A blue moon loomed in the sky tonight,
everyone watched you in awe
as you shined so bright.
Did you miss us, dear?
My love who now dwells in the skies,
your sufferings have come to an end.
Worry not about us anymore
for we're happy you've found peace in paradise.
Do come to us once again
in the form of the stars or the quiet rain,
falling gently from heaven.
Let us feel your love once more
We miss you,
but it is time to let you go
dance happily with the angels if you may,
fly high, precious one.
Dec 21, 2017
Dec 21, 2017 at 5:11 AM UTC