#jerry
Hairy Jerry played his songs
Through the years
And trips so long
Hairy Jerry grinned and bared
Loved and laughed
and sang and shared
The heads looked up
They felt he cared
They loved their Hairy Jerry Bear
Now all the lot kids,
******** in bulbs
All agree that Hairy Jerry
Was the best bulb screw-er of all.
Aug 1, 2021
Aug 1, 2021 at 5:06 PM UTC
The opening night,
in front of packed house.
The story, a fight,
between a cat and a mouse.
The cat with her guile and
the mouse, all the while.
Powers up a fuckin' chainsaw
with a knowing wry smile.
So never bet against the mouse
with either money or your house
because the crafty **** takers
have slashed the odds at bookmakers
as to what's in the pies
at the new high street bakers.
Poetry by Kaydee.
Jul 24, 2018
Jul 24, 2018 at 1:11 PM UTC
Do you bleed when you write?
When your fingertips
get sore and your muscles
get tight
Do you bleed?
From your heart?
With each beat comes a new
line
and you hope that it sounds like something
that doesn't quite rhyme
But it sounds good in time.
It'll sound good in time.
Just keep writing.
Keep bleeding.
Feb 21, 2018
Feb 21, 2018 at 3:50 PM UTC
I WANT SO BADLY TO HELP PEOPLE
-BUT I ALWAYS SEEM TO BE THE BAD PEOPLE?
BAD
APPLE
Jan 23, 2018
Jan 23, 2018 at 4:12 AM UTC
none hopped
aboard Jerry's train
to-day
but Jerry's train
was boarded
any other day
how fickle
the traveling public
can be
Sep 28, 2017
Sep 28, 2017 at 9:04 PM UTC
JERRY LEWIS HAS PASSED AWAY
A GIANT AND COMIC GENIUS
THE LAST REMAINING MEMBER OF THE RAT PACK
HE NEVER TOOK LIFE TO SERIOUS
HIS PARTNERSHIP WITH DEAN MARTIN
MADE LAUGHTER A CONTAGIOUS DISEASE
WHEN EVER THEY PERFORMED TOGETHER
THE LAUGHTER BROUGHT YOU TO YOUR KNEES
HIS DEDICATED WORK FOR RAISING MONEY
HELPED MANY A CHILDREN'S HEART
HE RAISED MANY HUNDRED MILLIONS OF DOLLARS
SO LOVING FAMILIES WOULD NEVER PART
LAUGHTER BRINGS A WARMTH TO YOUR HEART
JERRY LEWIS DELIVERED IT WITH LOVE
HIS SKILL AND BRILLIANCE WILL ALWAYS BE
SHINING ON US FROM ABOVE
Aug 20, 2017
Aug 20, 2017 at 11:02 PM UTC
Slow peek
Whiskers twitch
Pause
Little twitch
Nostrils flare
Pause
-
Immediate acceleration
Straight-ahead scurry
Speedy tick-tack of claws on hard floor
Cat appears
Screechy scratchy panic spinner
Ducking skidding
Heart racing
Slalom chair legs
Cat crashing, collapsing
Running home hungry
Barely in time
-
Re-prepare to retry
Jul 3, 2017
Jul 3, 2017 at 11:10 AM UTC
The yellow aura
spiraled my night elf hunter avatar
as the DUN-DUMM
of false accommplishment
incited my addiction to
instant gratification.
I had just Leveled up.
The quest giver
gave me a choice
****** boots
Or
a less ****** Dagger
I took the ****** boots
because
**** the system
they looked cooler.
I was going to stomp cave spiders anyway,
what's the point of relinquishing
looking **** fine.
for an extra Attack Point?
****** Boots.
****** boots ALL Day long.
A naked human avatar
dances
facing a naked gnome
Named: "Buzz Lightyear"
He is Also dancing,
at crotch height.
This is Typical starting zone
foolery
I stayed up
watching Toonami all night
Naruto, Bleech, Inuyasha.
I could tell the sun came up
not because there was a window in my Kitchen,
there wasn't.
Tom and Jerry came on.
everyone knows
when Tom and Jerry came on
you were no longer pulling an
"all nighter."
You're pulling a
"Drink enough Soda
to get through the rest
of the day-er"
My entire diet
these past two days
has consisted of Gushers & Vault
because
Clearly Coca-Cola is superior
to Pepsi.
Therefore, Vault
was superior to Mountain Dew.
Which is the typical choice drink
of my internet brethren.
I don't know why I dyed my hair black nobody online could see it
But it made me feel
more
like my Night Elf Avatar
I wanted long white hair
I realized that's impossible
in 6th grade
So I Bought & Settled for Black
At least I could be like
"L" from death note,
Long sleeve white shirt, jeans
with no shoes.
I could also be
any other black-haired charecter
From any other angsty Anime
Because of course I loved angsty Anime
Because I held my cell phone like "L"
From Death Note.
I always dreamed
of this singing venus fly trap.
A Fuzzy Memory with a lost Origin
I realized seven years later
the Singing venus flytrap in my head
was AUDREY 2
from Little Shop Of Horrors.
Netflix reunited us in College
Audrey 2 finally Serenaded Me.
I listened with Voyeuristic Intentions
As memory saprilings grew
into the full songs
relieving the void in my soul
Lingering for a Man to be attacked
by a singing venus fly trap
in his own kitchen.
But only once,
Because I firmly beleived
movies should only be seen once
until I stopped
dyeing my hair black.
Despite watching Space jam
more times than any kid born in 1995 Should have
but still
all the kids born in 1995
watched space jam
more than any of them should have
because they were born in 1995.
Apparently
when I first saw little shop of horrors
it aired just before osmosis jones.
I love osmosis jones
almost as much as I love
Buzz lightyear, of Star Command
Buzz lightyears robot companion XR
reminded me of Cyberchase
and to this day Cyberchase
is the best show to watch
when you have no idea
who Gilbert Godfrey is.
Zoombinis is better
than oregon trail.
and also better
than Tom and Jerry.
but not better
than leveling my night elf Hunter.
Named:
"FEED ME A PIZZA!"
I think I spent more time
getting my Zoombinis
to look just right
then I Spent deciding
what outfit to wear
Routine
Black striped Hoodie
Unwashed and worn every day
Grey skulls all over it, because
of course it had grey skulls all over it.
Black pants.
Black socks
No actually, THESE black socks.
Okay, got gushers
and my Coca-Cola.
I now take as much time
to choose my outfit as
designing the perfect Zoombini.
however I have yet to replace
my legs
With
a skateboard.
I think that every grade before sixth grade is fourth grade
and 6th grade is basically 7th grade
which is to say my memory skips them both
to remember ending eighth grade
I miss being cool on the Internet
Whilst lame and forgotten in real life.
like black sock
wasn't quite as good
as that other Black sock.
I wanna go back.
To the seperation
Of who we pretend to be
Vs. who we actually are.
To be dramatic again.
incomparable.
An ideal self on the internet
Who is obviouslly not the real you
is decades more comforting
than Some Characatureized
Facebook Profile.
Today I was offered a choice
Work A minimum wage job
or
continue my useless college degree.
I decided to write a poem, because
**** the system.
If I am to Decide where to respawn from
Let it be poetry.
There is no spiraling Yellow aura
or DUN-DUMM
Sometimes there is snapping though.
Or a lost memory
of A singing venus Fly Trap.
I am a pretend person.
An avatar
just now, I have skin.
You can touch me
I breath without a Macro
or even pressing any keys.
I cannot bring myself to
Watch Space Jam again.
I can Identify Gilbert Godfrey's voice.
I will buy my children zoombinis
And it will collect dust
When all they want
Is to watch the fifth Toy Story movie
Way more than any kid born in 2020 should.
And all the kids born in 2020
Will Watch the fifth Toy Story Movie
Way more than they should
because they
will have been born
in 2020.
And I will rant
about the Missing LGM
and Warp Darkmatter
betraying Buzz Lightyear
By joining Evil Emperor Zurg
So Buzz was forced
to get three new Partners
Princess Mira Nova
Audrey 2
and Osmosis Jones.
because I will have Forgotten
Booster & XR.
Because Booster and XR
Never made a ********* Facebook Profile.
Nobody exists anymore.
We are all represented by our avatars
holding ourselfs up to the standards
of our photoshopped reflections
Being disappointed and overwhelmed
I Take pills to forget that I am
Acting Like myself
but can't find any evidence of Existing.
Besides these memories
of who i used to be.
I want my internet persona
to be nothing like me
So that I may focus on myself
in the real world coherently.
I want thick black lines
dividing mental Venn diagrams
I want Tom and Jerry
To signal me
That it is morning, again.
Feb 20, 2017
Feb 20, 2017 at 1:33 PM UTC
Prisoners of their own success
Their world now micro-sized
Fan adulation to excess
Their love is just disguised
Their objects of affection
Live their lives inside a bubble
Leaving their prison, though it's self imposed
Could bring them worlds of trouble
A truck driver from Tupelo
A pop band from the 'pool
A superstar from Hoboken,
And one...the King of Cool
The superstar from Hoboken
Became the Chairman of The Board
If you made it into his 'rat pack'
You knew you'd really scored
His movies and his music
Made him the world's number one
But he had to minimize his world
When someone stole his son
His boy was kidnapped, truthfully
Back in 1965
And through his contacts in the mob
He got his son back home alive
This is the price of fame folks
Behind the glitter and the glam
They've got to have their safety
But the fans don't give a ****
Prisoners of their own success
Their world now micro-sized
Fan adulation to excess
Their love is just disguised
Their objects of affection
Live their lives inside a bubble
Leaving their prison, though it's self imposed
Could bring them worlds of trouble
The Memphis Mafia gave protection
To The King of Rock and Roll
But, by choice his world got smaller
And he went into a hole
He built a house in Memphis
To protect him from his fans
And thanks to Dr. Feelgood
He died a lonely, broken man
He couldn't live the life he earned
He was a prisioner instead
It's a shame he has more value
Now that he is dead
Prisoners of their own success
Their world now micro-sized
Fan adulation to excess
Their love is just disguised
Their objects of affection
Live their lives inside a bubble
Leaving their prison, though it's self imposed
Could bring them worlds of trouble
He'd a partner and was cool
He was suave and sang songs
And he worked with a "fool"
They conquered the nightclubs
They were known near and far
But his created alter ego
Lived his life at the bar
He ran with Frank Sinatra
He was the King of Cool
But when The Chairman started lessons
Dean was right there in his school
The Beatles broke in Hamburg
But way back in sixty two
Their bubble was just forming
There was nothing they could do
They lived their life behind the scenes
For when they did go out
The girls would all go crazy
And the world would twist and shout
Privacy came hard for them
They went four separate ways
These four young men from Liverpool
LIved life inside a maze.
It's sad that adulation
takes their freedom, makes them hide
But they're safer locked away from us
They're safer locked inside
Prisoners of their own success
Their world's now micro-sized
Fan adulation to excess
Their love is just disguised
Their objects of affection
Live their lives inside a bubble
Leaving their prison, though it's self imposed
Could bring them worlds of trouble
May 8, 2012
May 8, 2012 at 8:21 PM UTC
Jerry
Jerry
Mario cart
Playing with his flippers
Jack is back
Septic slap
Bow-tie in your feathers
Now reduced
To a pair of boots
Long gone is your penguin song
Brydan misses you
And so he cries
Down
Down
Down
On your bed of ice
Nov 24, 2015
Nov 24, 2015 at 11:03 AM UTC
Now I’m gone tell you a story
‘Bout a short bald man in a suit;
He liked everything to be neat as a pin…
Who knew one day that man’d go crazy and end up in the loony bin?
So this little bald man had a family
And a pretty daughter named Mary
She was coming out that season…
Her Daddy thought that day’d never come - now he felt it was beyond all reason
Well this man’s name was Jerry
And he was mean as a snake
Folk say he’s ex-military…
‘Cos of that one time he stuck a dog with a rake
Well now this stout bald man liked duty
Said he wanted to control nature
To be like Moses and part the sea
That’s why his garden was on the cover of country life magazine
Now it wasn’t hard to find a husband
For his little grown up girl
When men queued up twice round the block
To catch a glimpse of Mary in her favourite frock
Now here comes the end of my story, an end that I'll soon tell
It happened the day before the wedding
When Mary’s old Daddy was going through a real mean spell
On this day he went to the Barber’s
To smarten up what little hair he had
But that Barber didn’t cut it quite right…
One tiny hair stuck up and Jerry’s face went white...
At the sight of that blonde hair crowning the top of his head
Jerry whirled around and struck that Barber down dead
It was safe to say poor Jerry’d seen red
And when they found him?
Well Jerry was drowning
In the sticky sap the Barber had bled.
Now that’s the end of this tale, apart from the “Where are they now?”
Six months down the line Jerry pleaded guilty
Now he’s locked up in the state penitentiary...
You can visit him one until three.
Jul 20, 2014
Jul 20, 2014 at 6:12 AM UTC