#jelousy
I was never her air-balloon
she was always deflating my
words that never took off.
I was grounded never reaching
higher than she wanted me to rise.
My rope that I tried to release,
was tied down with her negative
weight that was pulling me down.
I was grounded never reaching
higher than she wanted me to rise.
I was the Hindenburg,
she was the static that ignited me..
burning my dreams to ashes on scorched earth...
I was grounded never reaching
higher than she wanted me to rise.
I thought she was an angel, but she was
the devil bringing me lower than I'd
sank before. Could I sink lower than her.
I was grounded never reaching
higher than she wanted me to rise.
But she thought she rose higher till I deflated
her with home truths.
Now I'm free floating higher now the weight
of my past is released.
I was never afraid to reach new heights
and now I'll float further now I'm free...
Dec 7, 2019
Dec 7, 2019 at 6:35 PM UTC
I tell myself, stop looking at others
And look at the positives of yourself
Subconscious jealousy is what bothers
And I fail to see the positives of my existence, even if they are there
My mind brushes it all off
I know it could be worse, it's just not my fault
I feel ignored even if I don't speak much
Even when I do, they laugh and listen
And even the hugs at the end, that fill me with warmth
Leave my soul empty afterwards hungry for more
For a sustained lifeforce, that lets me be myself
And flourish amidst the success of mediocrity
And loss of value even in those who are not just people enjoying life, but also enjoying what they got
It's not learnable I tried and I cried
And I cried And I cried And I cried
Leave me alone, let me be happy
please don't leave me, oh precious sanity
Jun 19, 2019
Jun 19, 2019 at 7:35 PM UTC
He is the sun if it ever took human form.
Radiant and warm
You treated his love as if it were a heat storm.
As if his love were burning you from the inside.
You mistook his intensity, and you let it suffocate you.
You tried to put out the fire.
As smoke seeped from your painted smile, you subdued him.
You tried to put out the sun.
But I...
I found him
His flame dimmed.
Under the artificial assumption, his light was too much.
He came to me trying to cover that intensity.
But I thought...
Why fit the sun in a lantern?
When it could light the world.
My love like fertile earth.
Smothered with rich soil.
Saplings reached for that warmth of him.
I wanted all of him.
A lantern wouldn't do.
We planted our seeds in moments.
And well nourished they grew.
Many moons came to pass, but now I have before me a garden of overgrowth.
Watered by our tears. Nourished by passion. Warmed by our love, and given life through our memories.
He is larger than life.
He is bold and bright and the light in my sky.
& I will tend to this garden and bathe in his sun.
He is my home, my light, and my reason.
You tried to put out the fire,
but now he is the sun.
Apr 2, 2019
Apr 2, 2019 at 9:05 PM UTC
Her denial is her armour and she wears it brazenly,
She hides in silence just behind your smile,
She ebbs away day after day until there’s nothing left,
Then you realise that your mind has been defiled.
wM
Feb 25, 2019
Feb 25, 2019 at 6:19 PM UTC
you are talking to him.
why?
do you tell me lies?
you say he is hated.
by you, by many.
yet,
you are talking to him.
laughing with him.
smiling at him.
are you a liar?
or are you simply a coward?
Nov 29, 2018
Nov 29, 2018 at 10:56 AM UTC
I feel sick
Deep inside
Something is churning
And I really need to cry
I have no right to be jealous
No claims on your heart
But thinking of you
Like this
It tears me apart
My head feels too heavy
My insides feel wrong
So I’ll cover my ears
And sing myself a song
Because I can’t think about this
It’s breaking my heart
Thinking of all the things you do
Whenever we’re apart
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 3:48 PM UTC