#jackhandey
I was at the store the other day and this lady came up to me, and asked if I had a light, I told her that she could find that in aisle eight, and that I didn't work there, and then I farted.
Nov 10, 2017
Nov 10, 2017 at 11:03 AM UTC
Optimists believe
that every cloud, has a silver lining
Pessimists believe
that silver lining, will fall on you
and **** you
Jun 26, 2017
Jun 26, 2017 at 3:01 PM UTC
I was once asked by an aquantance
"What do you do for a living?"
I simply stated that I breed chickens.
He grimaced and asked "Do you like it?"
I replied, No, but the chickens seem too.
Jul 18, 2017
Jul 18, 2017 at 12:04 PM UTC
Sometimes, when your mind and eyes wander
over fresh green fields, and blue clear skies
you look up in complete and utter wonder
gawking in total amazement as
the bird you didn't see
craps in your mouth
Jun 26, 2017
Jun 26, 2017 at 2:54 PM UTC
Once, I was asked to go to town by a friend
he asked me if I liked to go to strip clubs
I said I had never been, but would see if I liked it
we walked in the door and a young lady beat me with her *******
and tried to charge me for it.
I don't like strip clubs
Jul 5, 2017
Jul 5, 2017 at 11:42 AM UTC