#iwanttodie
The drums in my ears, the galloping of horses right behind my back,
I stand looking at the murky thick fog, with the word ringing in my ears, "Attack!"
I stand still, pondering of what to do and why,
Pondering in my head, why don't I just die…
The black hooded riders gallop on their horses right behind me,
There is a legion of them, thick as smoke with no hope of being free,
Ravens screech above my head, smoke pours from my head, back and shoulders,
I want to reach out, want to give up with this feeling of me being crushed by a million boulders…
My head drums, my temples throb, my vision goes blurry and hazy,
My eyes cloud with a murky green color of insaneness, I'm going crazy,
I grab my sharp big knife, and start to stroke it absent mindly,
Meanwhile, I struggle on, with the hooded riders behind my back whle I stumble on-ward blindly…
I still have hope in my heart, as my feet carry me,
I look at the dim pale objects of people, walking happily and free,
While I… stumble in this murky thick fog, and behind me there is hooded figures with their swords,
The numbers so many of them, it's like black thick smoke, except of the figures there is hordes and hordes and hordes………
I fall on my knees, stumbling over ****** grass,
I see holy-water ahead, but the smoke atop my head tells me to pass,
Falling on my face, I give up, breathing hard and almost dead,
I give my last efforts, when a figure gallops up to me on a stallion and with it's sword just cleanly slices off my head…
The blood paints the grass, as my hand is holding the knife,
The blade is stabbed deep inside my chest, taking away my life,
My eyes go pale and my body stays motionless, in a death-like freeze,
The fog clears, the figures disappears as the smoke gets blow away by the soft gentle breeze......
~Mishka Wayz~
Jan 5, 2020
Jan 5, 2020 at 9:09 PM UTC
A sad story
Is drawn upon my wrist
Because
I don't want to exist
My thoughts are toxic
I've given up talking
Because no one listens
and no one is watching
as my mind destroys
what's in my heart
And all this poise
was a lie from the start
I want to die
And yet I'm stuck in my mind
Please let me resign
from this excuse for a life.
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 7:50 PM UTC
When you say you want to die,
I want to say 'me too',
But I can't,
Because you're only eleven.
When you ask about the scars on my arm,
I tell you it happen by accident,
So not to give you any ideas,
Because you're only eleven.
When you cry and I hold you tight,
I tell you a lie,
That everything is going to be ok,
Because you're only eleven.
When I cry I cover my eyes,
I don't want you to see my pain,
So I can help you deal with yours,
Because you're only eleven.
When things get to hard,
I want to keep you safe,
So you don't have to face the world alone,
Because you're only eleven.
When you say you want to die,
I promise to help you live,
And give you the support I never got,
Because I was only seven.
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 7:12 AM UTC
In this forest, filled with greens
the hands of time wring my neck
and i close my eyes
only to wake up
Jan 24, 2017
Jan 24, 2017 at 9:21 AM UTC
i dont think its healthy
to be at constant worry if im gonna lose you
i dont think its healthy
to only listen to the music that you like
no, i dont think its ******* healthy
to be lying in my yard looking at the stars in complete awe
but wishing i could be staring at you instead
Nov 8, 2016
Nov 8, 2016 at 9:10 AM UTC
I have told myself I'm okay for
Far too ******* long.
I want to disappear forever.
Go somewhere I won't be found.
Where people will give up on the search.
I'm not
Who people think I am.
I'll leave in the night,
When everyone is asleep.
Maybe not. I'm not sure.
"I'll be back later"
"Where are you going?"
"On a walk"
No one will think anything.
**I'll find an overpass,
Climb over it.
And jump.
At just the right time.**
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 8:58 AM UTC
I still have them
those stupid vampire teeth
the ones you won for me
and it's almost Halloween
and I wonder if you have yours
or if you think about that day
the rainy days are filling my head with ****** memories of being in love
and although I pushed you out for so **** long you've managed to sneak back in
with you're endless supply of songs "I would like" or you're sweet smelling cologne
but it hurts so bad
because you're in love
with that girl who loves your family
and dress ******* normal.
I'm just the girl who fills your days with conversations and keeps you comfort on those long, dark, bus rides.
but I'm never the one you'd choose
because I love you
and that would be to **** easy
Oct 4, 2015
Oct 4, 2015 at 9:10 PM UTC
A card given by a stranger
With a poem written down clumsily
“Don’t die like a rose,” it says
A girl sitting at the back
Holding her sketch pad,
pencil, watercolour, and paintbrush
Lines, curves, dimensions—
Submerge in a nightmare
Lost in a maze of
Unforgotten memories
Her body is damaged
Skin peeling off
As she tries to find her way back
“Don’t die like a rose,” it says
She has nothing left
Only a pile of poems,
Stories, drawings
That holds a secret
Everyday misery becomes
Her good lover
It sings as she sleeps
Cuddling her in the darkness
Of a room filled with ghosts
Misery showers her with
Anguish of morning kisses
“Don’t die like a rose,” it says
There are no longer fireflies
That stay in her eyes
Her lips are out of colour
Unlike her drawings
Spilled with red, orange,
green, and black
A world she creates
Freeing her soul
Letting it soar to join
The hues of a sunset
“Don’t die like a rose,” it says
But beautiful stranger,
She died a thousand times
Death is her friend
She’s been waiting for
To take her away
In those vast universe
Of stars, daffodils, cigarettes,
Metaphors, violins
She longs to run in the meadows
Where grass dances
As she smiles finally
September 7, 2015
Sep 18, 2015
Sep 18, 2015 at 4:32 AM UTC
Every time I begin to think I am getting
over you, I am proven wrong. If I go a
day without speaking to you, I can point
out your flaws. When you're high you
talk too much. When you're drunk you
get angry. You sometimes don't show
empathy for other people's emotions.
Your hands aren't fragile. You don't like
the smell of incense. You argue with
me over things that are not important.
But when I'm with you, your excessive
talking is cute and interesting. When
you're angry, I get excited. Your lack of
emotion towards other people doesn't
bother me because at times i can
understand it. Your hands are rough
and hard on my skin and I like the
sensation. I don't light incense around
you because I much more prefer the
flicker of candle light across your face.
And when you argue with me, I can't
help but feel love. All I feel for you is
love, and I ******* hate it.
Sep 2, 2015
Sep 2, 2015 at 10:36 PM UTC
Good luck figuring me out
I haven't even done that.
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 12:18 AM UTC
i have problems
the voices are back
someone help me
- - -
if i just keep laughing
maybe i'll die of hysteria
- - -
i wonder if what i am
even counts as living
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 11:45 PM UTC
I used to be able to look at you and you'd know
You used to beg me to stop
You used to make me stop
You were the only one
But I just looked at you and you looked right back
You looked at me like I was a crazy person
At least you finally figured it out, I guess
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 11:55 AM UTC