#ithurts
stop telling me that this is just a phase
stop telling me that you will change
stop telling me that you need me
stop telling me to stop overthinking
stop breaking my heart
stop crushing my trust
stop trying to change my mind
stop trying to include me when you know you don't want to
stop acting like its such a hassle to be my friend
stop acting like our relationship is the same
stop making me cry
stop making me jealous
stop giving me false hope
stop telling me that ill be fine
stop getting me stuff and saying "all fixed"
i don't even want that stuff
i want you to care
i want you to listen
i want you to love me again
i want you to break your habits
i want you to tell me that you're sorry
i want you to come to me crying saying that you messed up
i want you to promise me that you would never hurt me like this again
i want. i want. i want.
i never receive
but i stay because im not selfish
i stay because you were once worth it and i hope you can be again
i stay because you used to be my happiness
i stay in hopes that you can be again
i stay because i loved the person you were
sometimes i wonder why i stay
i ask myself why i put myself in so much pain
then i realize
i stay because i know you're going through so much right now
i stay because if i left you would break
if i left it would get worse
if i left you would be lost
and so i stay
not for me, but for you
Nov 6, 2020
Nov 6, 2020 at 8:19 PM UTC
here i sit
watching
watching you make new friends
whether or not they're good for you
i sit here watching you make one bad decision after another
but i don't say much in fear of upsetting you
in fear of drifting farther away from you
in fear of you going off and informing people of my worrying
here i sit
watching you tell people things that weren't yours to tell
watching you drift farther away from your innocence
farther away from your true relationships
farther away from me
here i sit
while you yell at me
while you tell me to not worry
while you tell me you "love me"
while you tell me that you will be okay
while you cry to me
while you vent to me
while you tell me you don't care
while you laugh at me for caring
while you tell me you hate him
but then tell me you miss him
while you tell me that i need to care once i say im done caring
here i sit
crying
crying because of how much pain this is causing me
crying because i can't do anything
crying because you are fine with this
crying because you are fine with them
crying because im tired of feeling this way
crying because what happened to always?
what happened to
ill never leave you
ill always love you
i would never do that
just one more
trust me
i would never lie to you
im sorry
i should've listened to you
you're my only true best friend
you're my person
here i sit
exhausted from the mental pain
being forced into feeling numb because im tired of feeling
missing what we had
what we should've still had now
what you tell me we still have
...
but we both know that we don't
Nov 6, 2020
Nov 6, 2020 at 8:01 PM UTC
ughh i miss you
these are the last words i messaged you
what i wanted to say was
i miss how you used to be
i meant to say
i miss how we were
i meant to say
i miss how much you used to care
i wanted to say
i miss the old you
because i do
but she's long gone
i miss her
Nov 18, 2020
Nov 18, 2020 at 1:27 PM UTC
you
made
me
drink
poison
and
called
it
medicine
Jan 8, 2020
Jan 8, 2020 at 8:09 AM UTC
You say we're stronger together,
But in truth,
Every wall f
a
l
l
s
d
o
w
n
.
.
.
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 24, 2017 at 7:22 PM UTC
Minutes feel like hours
And hours feel like days
I forgot you had this power
To make me fall for your gaze
The second that we're apart
My smile instantly fades
There's an emptiness in my heart
And I grieve for several days
But then I finally see you
And I'm back where I belong
I love to watch the things you do
Like when you mix all your songs
You are truly my comfort zone
You take my heart to new heights
I forget the feeling of being alone
Because you are the love of my life
May 19, 2017
May 19, 2017 at 1:15 AM UTC
Drier than before
but no one listens
no one
listens
i tried
and i'm done
n o o n e l i s t e n s
Apr 14, 2017
Apr 14, 2017 at 10:01 PM UTC
In the past 4 months I've built myself a life where I could survive in a world without you. On technicality you get to say I left you. Did you ever once think about what could've been, had you just fought for me? Instead you went straight to bed with as many girls as you could.
No, I shouldn't hold that against you. We were done. We were over. But God **** it you can't beg for me back now!?
I kiss you and I wonder how many girls have been here since the last time I was.
You hold me and tell me you love me and I can't help but accuse you of saying that to everyone else.
"I need you." Well **** where were you when I needed you!?
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 2:24 AM UTC
I feel as if,
as if,
you left me
yesterday.
you were to little
to go.
you didn't have a
choice.
but everyday
new anger builds up in me
because
of your
death.
you are completely
and utterly
gone.
Nov 14, 2014
Nov 14, 2014 at 2:38 PM UTC
every inch of this town holds a memory I don't want to remember.
every single ******* memory was with you.
we danced in my front yard
went swimming in the lake
ran through the forests together
walked all around our neighbor hoods
I talk about you like you were my lover
but you were more than that
you were my best friend
we spent every waking moment together that we could
you lived only a walk away
and now you hate me
you hate me because I ruin everything I touch
every friendship I have rots to hell
I want you back in my life but you won't have me
come back
please
come back
Jun 23, 2014
Jun 23, 2014 at 12:25 AM UTC