#invisiblity
-hi!
hello.
(would you mind leaving? i'm trying to draw)
-are you an artist?
no, i simply show the dizzing sight that is reality.
(you seem to be ignoring me and what i say, i've noticed)
-why don't you ever draw nature scenes?
i can't catch the melodies of the wind.
(when will you listen to me? when will you hear me?)
-how are you so deep?
i'm not deep, i merely put up with the darkness within me.
(how come no one listens when i talk?)
-can we be friends?
truthfully, no. you can try, but you'll eventually leave me like all the others
(no one ever hears, now, do they? i suppose i should just leave it alone.)
-thats rude!
we're off to a great start, you already hate me, well done!
(you heard me?)
-who don't let anyone through your walls?
lone wolves don't get b a c k s t a b b e d
(cities with the tallest walls don't get b u r n t down)
-why are you so negative?
all of my joy has been stolen by a liar or two
(the truth is a cynical beast, my dear)
-who hurt you?!
my own expectations and the despair that ultimately followed
i expected you to hear me
i expected you to see me
i'm growing tired of hearing myself say over and over again,
crying out for all the world to see my despair
yet no one hears a thing,
"does anyone see me?"
Sep 3, 2020
Sep 3, 2020 at 12:52 AM UTC
What I learned in school,
is what being damaged to does to you.
It teaches you struggle is a bad word
and that success is effortless
if you’re not perfect right away
you’re not right
at all
your words only have value
according to the rubric
your cries of pain are only noteworthy
when the wound blisters scarlet red
and sticks and stones are as harmless
as the air used to launch them,
never mind that they broke your spirit well before your bones
they’re just kids.
I was a kid too.
Yet you locked me behind
an iron desk for first an hour, then two,
because despite how desperately I pleaded,
you assumed that because you cared,
that meant you couldn’t hurt me.
I have no scars on my skin to
show you,
unless you count the words I never wrote
because thinking about this made me choke.
And writing about it made it real.
You don’t get a scar
when your body is convinced it can no longer draw breath,
and you learn to count to four and hold for four
before you ever open up a trig book
to page four.
I have scars because I am here to be healed,
I am here, still.
Trees that fall in forests don't scar,
but the grove where they once stood misses them.
This is how I rode my bike every day after school,
I rode it back home safely as I could.
Because I learned to shoulder my weight in gold
and understand on my own terms
that my gold standard
is the only one worth anything to me.
Oct 21, 2017
Oct 21, 2017 at 12:26 PM UTC
Don't let me fade away
as I blend into the night.
Invisible until I decide to stay
hiding from the choir of the spotlight.
I dance the song of the unknown
upon the mask for the alone.
So Happy Birthday to the dead
love is nothing but a wish
man can live without bread
with the help of the magician's kiss.
I swear to you I do exist.
A gift to me from you
burning memories I soon will miss
I swear to you but prove it true.
Oct 26, 2015
Oct 26, 2015 at 12:15 AM UTC