#indifferent
No one asked to be born,
nobody wants to die
and still
we wake up
as if consent were implied
stunning satellites twinkle overhead
sending brilliance forward- long since dead
I flip a lucky in my pack,
another old habit crawling back
only a few steps into the dark
and I’ve already forgotten
where I was going
but this cigarette
will light my way
Apr 14
Apr 14, 2026 at 8:13 AM UTC
I guess this is just the way it goes,
Or perhaps, it's just the way the story's told.
Flowers covered in fool's gold,
Decaying as they grow old.
Second half of junior year,
It's hard to believe that it's here.
There's no rewinding the clock,
Even if I beg it, it won't stop.
College classes are coming to mind,
Soon I'll leave high school behind,
Time to choose my senior classes,
I feel a growing monotonous mountain of molasses.
I spoke a few words to an old friend,
I was just as awkward as I was back then,
I want to try again, I know that I can't,
Sometimes I wish I'd never known any of them.
Prom's coming up, debating to go,
Or if I should just stay at home.
I don't need a reminder that I've failed socially,
My anxiety will entrap me in captivity.
But, looking back, will I regret it if I don't?
I guess I'll never know, unless I don't go.
I guess this is just the way it goes,
Or perhaps, it's just the way the story's told.
Flowers covered in fool's gold,
Decaying as they grow old.
My second poetry book is coming soon,
For anyone interested in such a boon.
"Cathartic Collection,"
About all my horrible decisions,
And how they've hurt me and how I've healed,
The scars still haunt me, but I've repealed.
It's gonna come out on my birthday,
Which, this year, happens to be on a Friday!
March 13th, 2026,
A new chapter begins...
I guess this is just the way it goes,
Or perhaps, it's just the way the story's told.
Flowers covered in fool's gold,
Decaying as they grow old.
Jan 19
Jan 19, 2026 at 8:58 PM UTC
When you don't have friends,
When you are successful and you win,
When things you do, go your way,
Is also when so-called friends go astray!!
When you do have money and
they do come around,
When you are suddenly broke and
they're no where to be found,
All you wanted was
a friend to the end, but
All in return, you just
got people that pretend!!
You're the type of
person that'll go all in,
to lend a helping hand,
to a so-called dear friend,
to bend over backwards and
to try help them through, but
you could only do so much,
what more can you do???
Then THEY GET MAD and
START FEELING ALL BLUE,
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!!!"
YOU'RE ****
YOU'RE WORTHLESS,
I CONFIDED IN YOU!!!,
You BETRAYED and DEGRADED ME,
JUST OUT HERE HAVING FITS,
THEY FEEL You're NOT A TRUE FRIEND
BUT A HYPOCRITE,
FROM A FRIEND TO FOE,
TIME TO LET THEM GO!!!
I can't believe you did this,
SOME FRIEND YOU ARE!!,
YOU USE TO BE COOL, BUT
NOW, YOU THINK YOU'RE A STAR!!
I'LL FORGIVE YOU RIGHT NOW,
I WILL NEED TIME TO MEND
AS FAR AS THIS FRIENDSHIP,
THIS FRIENDSHIP HAS TO END!!!
When you don't have friends
When things just aren't the same
When you did me wrong and
you're the one to BLAME,
YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS, and
THEY HAVE DONE YOU WRONG!!!
YOU HAVE A FRIEND IN JESUS,
THROUGH THESE WORDS BE STRONG!!!
B.R.
Date: 3/12/2025
Mar 12, 2025
Mar 12, 2025 at 7:21 PM UTC
Every day I die a certain way,
My sky is isn't infinite needless to say,
But under a sky you live,
That's not abandoned and astray,
The stars are for you to perceive,
In the horror of night skies darkness,
In darkness I grieve,
My God is different,
Mine is indifferent,
Not a friend nor a foe.
Dec 31, 2024
Dec 31, 2024 at 1:57 AM UTC
She once held my face like I was her world,
Now her words cut deep, like daggers unfurled.
She looks at me now with disdain in her eyes,
What was once treasured, now she despises.
I see stuff sometimes, each one like a blade,
Saying this situation makes her spirit fade.
Not from the place or somewhere, but from me, I know—
A reminder of the love she let go.
A person who sees me a disdain, needs to run far away,
That every corner of a place brings her dismay.
But it's not the streets, it’s what she can’t bear,
The ghost of who I was still hanging there.
I feel it all—the whispers, the weight,
The way a person rewrites love into hate.
That silence screams louder than any blow,
Crushing the heart that once made me glow.
Oct 19, 2024
Oct 19, 2024 at 10:31 AM UTC
Hey, would you like to be friends, or
At least play pretend and
Have discussions that pass lifeless
Like a leaf being pushed by the winds.
You could even keep my shirt at your crib,
So years later you can forget
Whose even it is. Like remembering
Which kid drew this scribble
Hung up on the fridge.
Man, all these frayed connections are
Dimming the lights in this decrepit
Building. One huff and puff
Could turn this structure to rubble dust.
I have no mind to wink or blink
An eye, at one word half *** replies, unless
It reads goodbye. Tired of tap dancing
On the precipice of caring, or
Not caring less.
Feb 12, 2022
Feb 12, 2022 at 7:03 PM UTC
there's no need to be alone
so long as someone wants you
no reason to be sad
so long as there's happiness to be had
not for you
not a need to be afraid
unless you live with your fears
one track one line, a straightaway
only left to shift the gears
not for you
this machine
this marvel of a beast
a prize itself
but not for you
Jan 12, 2021
Jan 12, 2021 at 9:37 PM UTC
maybe we held each other too close
which made us now too loose.
maybe we became too dependent,
that made us now feel indifferent.
we can pretend this is easy,
but how long will we both feel weary?
Oct 3, 2020
Oct 3, 2020 at 11:30 PM UTC
"How much do you really care?"
"How much do you really wanna know?"
"Badly"
lights cigarette " Well...let me tell you"
You, could, have the worst day and I'd laugh in your face
Tell you I told you that joy was erased
Look to the sky and be blinded by light...
-ning as it crashes down, cuts through the night!
Hell's gates could open, and in you would fall
And with all your screams, I'd still feel **** all!
You could walk off the flat earth and into the void
I'd carry on normal, and not paranoid!
Turned into ashes, blasted to bits
Drowned in a lake, in my face your neck splits
Spray me with blood, I won't feel a thing,
I'd lap at the crimson, thanks for the feed!
Death welcomes all, where life may not want to
The curtains will fall, and then you'll see the truth
The truth of it is, I only care enough to tell you
To yell or to whisper, I won't mourn when they bury you!
May 7, 2020
May 7, 2020 at 3:04 AM UTC
We've burned enough bridges
I think it's time we fix it
I'm afraid to reach out and find you feel indifferent
Would you want to live in a world again
Where you and I are more than friends
I keep coming back to this
Cause baby it was magic
If there's such a thing as good love we had it
Maybe I don't know if it was good enough
But baby I still know it was a good, good love
Apr 8, 2020
Apr 8, 2020 at 2:12 PM UTC
I want to feel disappointed
I want to feel like I have failed
But the feeling I feel most often
Is feeling impervious to things that should bother me most
I know what I should feel
unease, disheartened, and anxious
But all I feel is placid, empty, and slightly annoyed
So I sit on my bed at 2 am and wait for something to fill me
Fear, determination, or irritation
so I can fill out the papers next to me
even with the knowledge of its utter importance
I still couldn't give a ****
Feb 24, 2020
Feb 24, 2020 at 2:57 AM UTC
What shall it be called when one knows they are failing oneself?
when the simple decision to succeed is the only thing lying between
the fear of failure has been replaced with the fear of fortune and good will
Because, where will the reasons for being the way you are go?
when succession is upon us
It is as if you set out, one day last week, to be the person you have always resented
Sleeping all day, staring at a screen all night and getting nothing done in dreams or real life
With sleep you are met with only nightmares, yet you'd rather be there than here
And your wakefulness only brings about regret for the hours that you spent in your bed
so you sleep again to hope that a new day will erase the problems of yesterday
but instead you bring the problems of today into tomorrow
a never-ending cycle that spins round and round until you're overwhelmed or you don't give two ***** about the person you once were or have become
Feb 24, 2020
Feb 24, 2020 at 2:42 AM UTC
i wonder what it feels like to live without worry.
is it like a flowing river, forever in motion, with nothing but the rocks to slow it down?
or is it like my childhood dog gnawing on a bone in my back porch?
to live without worry or true damage is a goal that will never be attainable.
to live a life of indifference.
i want it, i want it.
Feb 20, 2020
Feb 20, 2020 at 5:58 PM UTC
I’m here.
I exist.
There’s nothing to resist.
I’m not happy, not sad.
I don’t remember how it feels to be mad.
I’m not melancholy. Not depressed.
Not thinking about what comes next.
Just here. Just existing.
So please stop insisting
That I’m upset or unstable.
I'm just sitting at an internal table.
Watching life happen with an unattached view.
Don’t worry, I’m fine.
It passes with time.
No, it wasn’t you.
I promise, I’ll be okay.
I just can’t feel today.
But... it’s better this way.
It’s just my mental defense.
No I’m not tense.
I’m indifferent to everything.
Yes, everything.
I’ll be fine tomorrow.
I promise it’s not sorrow.
Just let me be today,
and tomorrow you’ll see I really am okay.
Dec 4, 2019
Dec 4, 2019 at 9:18 AM UTC
So there's a pocket in my purse
Its unopened or maybe its cursed
Am I just indifferent or maybe I'm afraid
(I'll let you in a little secret)
It's where I keep my favorite blade
It's been in my company for quite some time
In the moments I chided, in the moments I chimed
I have always kept it close like a love another
(I don't even know how to say this)
Sometimes even closer than my very own mother
But I like how it feels on my soft skin
I carve through my teary eyes, a ****** grin
But sure I hope that I don't die
(I don't do it to **** myself)
It just gives me hope that the bad times will pass by
Its been a while since I have cried
I feel like a psychopath with no feelings to define
So I reach out for my blade in the purse to feel something
(I won't throw it away so soon)
It gives me joy to know that i can sense, even if its hurting.
May 19, 2019
May 19, 2019 at 12:24 PM UTC
Your pretensions have you doing wrong.
You misleading yourself into opinions and facts that are brainwashing your own thoughts and integrity.
It's interrogating your thoughts and your actions have you proving wrong.
Are you really who you say you are or are you faking the person you show?
It's mind ******* isn't it...
No one is whom they say they are, but who they say they are is just a clone of them trying to be different, not realizing that they they just like everyone else.
The proven truth is that, everyone is like everyone, not everyone is different, and not everyone can try to be.
Everyone that exists lives off other people, influences, brainwashes and media.
Everyone is trying to be someone else and something they are not.
We call ourselves different, imperfect, significant, and unique.
But the truth is that we are all the same and none of us are unique, we are insignificant is this vast universe.
Just admit that we are all regular people trying to be something we are not.
It's not wrong to admit such, it proves that you are just human and we are all on different journeys, the soul however, the same, the canvas is different, same tears, same form...
Arms, legs, fingers, sweat, scars, veins...
We bleed the same and all wear clothes.
It's fine to be like everyone else, it's okay.
We don't have to different, just, indifferent.
And that is the answer, stop admitting your rights, start admitting your wrongs too.
Mar 10, 2019
Mar 10, 2019 at 4:49 AM UTC
You have left me hanging once again
Been eight hours and still no word
After all you put me through
Do you think punishment is what I deserve?
I have suffered enough at your hand
Cried enough tears in your name
Yet it doesn't matter to you
Just treat our love like a game
I have done my best to be patient
Multitude of mistakes dismissed
You left me stranded without a care
Or courtesy of a goodbye kiss
I have been staring at the door
Waiting on you to arrive
You have been gone all day
Absent of you, barely feel alive
It hurts knowing youre fine alone
What the **** are you trying to prove?
Already know I'm disposable
But wanting to improve
I tried not to get too close
Failed right from the start
Fell straight into your enchanting embrace
Now I'm falling apart
I wasted countless nights
Waiting to hear your soft voice
But until now I always felt
I had no other choice
Lately you have been cold to me
Putting me down with hurtful things you don't realize you say
Before you walked out the door
Seemed like your mind was far away
I do not know what changed between us
Or why you started treating me bad
How did things get so ******* ip between us
Reminiscing on the good times we had
I'm sorry our story turned out like this
Arguing night after night
Would do anything to go back in time
To days you still held me tight
But those days have come and went
Only exists in memory
Indifferent silence clearly shows how you feel
You are no longer in love with me
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 9:05 AM UTC
i like
how space doesn't care
about me
at least
it is impossible
to disappoint
the sun
Jan 12, 2019
Jan 12, 2019 at 5:54 AM UTC
Another year, now older
Am I wiser?
Perhaps, but surely bolder
What can I say
I feel more or less the same
The years float by, entrancing
But each no more enhancing
The reflection has no change
Yet my vision has less range
The wrinkles aren't yet there
And the grey has not attacked my hair
But somehow I feel aged
In my own mind encaged
I don't mind the sound of my years
For some it brings them to solemn tears
I find it sort of soothing
As evidence that life is moving
The time is comes and goes
When it will end, no one knows
But for now on earth it snows
And the howling wind still blows
Dec 27, 2018
Dec 27, 2018 at 5:12 PM UTC
Im far from home
It's been months
Since I've been alone
Since I've been
On my own
Im at this place
Supposedly a new start
Yet couldn't figure it out
How to move forward
I've lost control
Long ago
I have been stuck here
For so long
I wasnt even trying
At all
Im far from home
A new place to start
Yet I've brought with me
The feeling
Where you left me
Im still at this place
All along
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 8:07 AM UTC