#ilovedoinglines
~Christi Michaels~January 2015~
**Tumultuous
Vortex Surrounds
Black Smoky Veil
Hovering over Hope
Fear Factor so Insidious
Overwhelmingly
Contagious
Invasive
Blocking all Light
Defying Illumination
Will My Seed of Aspiration
Become Thwarted by a Maelstrom
Unseen Before Now
I Defer to Powers that Be
To Come Beside
Inviting inside Me
Innate Knowledge
All Strength Needed to See
This Tempestuous Storm Down**
Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 6:16 PM UTC
*How much do you have to hate life,
to not be scared of death?*
- ThePoet
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't
Because I really am afraid
But life has only sharp things
Wonder if death is willing to trade...
Longing
...a splinter
Embedded in the recesses of my core
Nestled deep, this tiny thorn
The source of my disconcerting sore
Need
...a shard
That stabs itself deep
Extract it I will not
Think it's worth the keep
Miss
...a knife
With never a dull blade
Stabs itself right through
Pain that will never fade
Want
...a syringe
Injecting the good and bad
Side effects loom
Driving me quite mad
Love
...a stake
Rammed into my heart
It doubles me over
It rips me apart
Life
...a spike
Impaling without fail
Siphoning my soul
Through the holes in my mail
These are the few sharp things that I own
The only things I've learnt to savour
I've nurtured them large; now fully grown
Always wondered what death has got to offer...
Jan 9, 2015
Jan 9, 2015 at 7:38 AM UTC
*"You love them
With all your heart and soul
Yet, you can't be with them
But you'll never let them go...
And it hurts..."*
- The Girl Who Loved You
Submerged and gasping
Swept away by the immense wave
Thoughts of you I'm painfully drinking
To my heart I'm but a slave
Caught in the undertow
Find myself submitting carelessly
Brushed aside all that I used to know
Drowning in emotional debris
There's strength in me yet
I need not be killed today
I could break free, I could forget
But fight I do not, instead still I lay
Because you see... You are the ocean
And I am but an invisible speck
I, too, want a place in heaven
Not wallow an inconsolable wreck
I'd get washed over but I'd swim deeper
So we could exist only in memory
My heart betrays but never will I sever
Even if you're the love that was never meant to be
Jan 4, 2015
Jan 4, 2015 at 5:49 AM UTC
*I feel your heart's heavy
and your mind trailing off to places
I'm not allowed to go...*
- Dajena M
My body...
Lays battered under unforgiving weather
I amble forth with unsure
In search of pastures much greener
My face...
Wears my despair
Mirrors wouldn't recognise
Reflecting back a faceless stare
My eyes...
Stung red with tears
Conveying the murmurs from my soul
Clouded by despondence that never clears
My limbs...
Bent awkward with time
Arms hang lifeless; legs sore from bearing
Load of my past of crime
My mind...
Trails in the wake of fallen dreams
Searching for an oasis
Instead finding only brackish streams
My soul...
Holds the weight of an anvil
Still I trudge to the farthest reaches
Through barren lands where all is still
My heart...
Yet beats with rhythm so true
It keeps me alive
It gifts to me...
you...
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 9:59 AM UTC
*Wondering,
if the universe flinched,
when God took you away.*
- dakota
Will I grace your thoughts when the moment comes?
Will your universe come to a complete standstill?
Will you choke back your tears...
Or by the buckets would they fill?
This pain in my heart
What is it?
I know now it's love
I know now I was bit...
I clutch my chest and begin to think...
Of the splintered shard I had failed to extract
I feel subdued and ultimately shattered
By the crushing bitter ripples of a broken pact
I'm hurting much
But strangely so...
I'm beginning to savour it
More than you know...
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 5:25 AM UTC
"Just please don't say you love me, 'cause I might not say it back."
The idea of love is terrifying
To me it means heartbreak
Love isn't peace, isn't joy
Love is the opposite of hope
It's love, or the idea of love
The empty promise of love
That has let me down
So many times it seems infinite
To me love has come to mean
A beating heart and concrete
One is in love with the stone
Or one falls, jumps to meet it
If you tell me you love me
I don't know, what to say, do
I'm not the sort you love
I am afterall, a disease
Jan 2, 2015
Jan 2, 2015 at 7:26 PM UTC
The Stars will collide and the ashes will cover our grounds
- Tiffanie Noel Doro
•••••••••••
burn my body,
flesh and bone just the same•
let loose my soul so it might be free•but
save my remains before the wind comes to
claim•so you'd remember me as the dream-
er infinitely•pluck the stars from the night
skyline•don't forget the moon for I adore
it so•grind them to dust and scatter the-
irs with mine•i'd have them as comp-
any to the place I will go•handle me
with care, no you must not spill•
ashes and dust...funnel me in
turn•place me near, on the
mantel or the sill•my for-
ever will then be sealed
in your cold...shelved...
urn•
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 6:12 AM UTC
~Christi Michaels~
**Dark Shadows of My Soul
Memories finally revealed,
Yet always known.
Arches set deep within stone
Labored creake of hinges
Massive wooden doors
My breath, heavy just moments before,
quiets upon the entering.
Dark Shadows of My Soul
Three steps down,
Entering the majestic room.
Domed ceilings. Stucco stained
with colors from long, long ago.
I walk towards windows.
Tall, deep n' narrow overlooking My Realm below.
A knowing. A deep seated
rememberance of a life once lived.
Dark Shadows of My Soul
Secrets, locked away in gilded boxes..
Vessels holding unspoken truths
Trap doors leading to dungeons
concealed beneath intricately woven rugs.
Taste of the air. ****** breads,
roasting meat.
Acrid smoke wafting from Soddy hearths
Dark Shadows of My Soul
Raven ringlets cascading.
A waterfall down my open back.
Pearl woven braids
adorn the crown of my head.
My ******* constrained.
Rising...cresting
With each breath.
Brocade and lace lay gently
across my hands, kissing my fingers
My neck long, regal. I hold posture of a Princess.
My full skirts sweep and polish
these stone floors from time till eternity
Will begin the journey.
Delve into this sordid past.
Facing, long at last
Deamons. Lies of Old
Embracing now
Dark Shadows of One's Soul**
Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels. All Rights Reserved.
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 31, 2014 at 8:27 PM UTC
"The walls around me slowly close in threatening to crush me between my throes of guilt and shame"
Walls like towers
Made of questions of "why's"
And distorted old stories
That reach the sky
Bred of agony and despair
Watching you slowly die
Gone, as if you were never there
*Don't suffer through the fate of lies
Scream out the rage and make yourself care*
"A threshold where I fall off the edge just to find myself back on the verge"
A door like desperation
Walking through to whence you came
Revolving around, teasing your mind
Like a revolver with bullets of shame
Shooting you between the eyes, every time
Lodging in your brain
Never leaving, or something you can find
Opening and closing; playing you like a toy in a game
*Break down the door, smash through to the other side
Tear it off the hinges, don't even save the frame*
**"I beat upon the glass to shatter it,
but find only my hope's breaking"**
Windows like pictures
Of things in the past
That you can no longer have
How long can the struggle really last
Before your insides bubble, boil and burn with regret
Time to find a way around the pane, fast
As the windows gets smaller and you completely forget
All the good in life of your past
*Calm yourself, release your guilt,
Don't let feelings of which you can't control amass*
"It'll all come crashing down, how much can this brittle barrier bear before a familiar, fickle fate is found?"
A roof like design
Made of the limits you've thrown upon yourself
Images vivid, destructive and divine
Playing projections of depth and death
Inception in the back of your mind
Telling you you're simply not good enough
*Rise up, reach out and surely you will find
You are truly made of stronger stuff*
"This is my house of Hell and Horror and to it, I will always belong. I never knew finding home could ever go so wrong"
A house like hell
Horrors and demons of your scarred heart
Built up, surrounding you in agony and pain
Ripping out your core, tearing you apart
Sweltering in the heat of lies you contain
Never finding the ending, or where to restart
*Keep faith, light a fire, don't live in vain
Burn it, smoke out the truth and purify the hearth
Watch the flames destroy it all, until nothing remains
Look out to the world, at all that now surrounds you
And silently wait for the rain*
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 31, 2014 at 7:55 PM UTC
"Pain turns hope into scars that burn" ~~ Rose
Painfully aware
Of things I see
And I do not dare
Touch what I believe
One single caress
And hope diminishes
What you're left with
Is empty promises
And unfulfilled wishes
The remnants of faith
Are simply ugly markings
Left upon your body
Causing a fire of darkness
And smoke rising
Made of sadness
That disappears
Into the atmosphere
Until you're left with...
Absolutely nothing
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014 at 4:09 AM UTC
"Cradle my emotions in the gentlest of whispers" ~~ Ryn
Hold me
Tenderly
Make me feel something
Be gentle with me
I've been hurt lately
Despair courses through me
Depression
Regret, guilt
Can you help me?
Don't just tell me
What I want to hear
Tell me what you really feel
Take away the fears
Don't scream
Tell me softly
Whisper in my ear
The beautiful things
I need to hear
Make me feel something
Cause lately
All I've felt is...
Absolutely nothing
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014 at 4:02 AM UTC
"She speaks poinards and every word stabs"
*Much Ado About Nothing
Shakespeare*
Her voice, a silken cord,
wrapped around your neck
Her intent, harm,
a slow lingering death
by rememberance
of her disdain....
By the point of her tongue
You are lanced, again
and again.
You would not think her
an asassin....
of the highest decree,
as she sits prim and proper,
taking tea.
But stray from the narrow
path she sets..
and slow scandulous death
will beset you.
Make no mistake...
She is out to get you.
Her tongue a poinard,
Her mind, a machination,
camouflaged with coy,
polite inclination.
Her body, allurement to
ambuscade.
And then the death of
a thousand cuts begins.
Be you male, female
or mixed gender
she does not discriminate
the sharp tongued assassin
lives to win...
To cut you down, slice by
slice, by slice..
That is Madame Gossip's
much loved vice.
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014 at 1:29 PM UTC
*The saddest noise, the sweetest noise,
Your voice that has been
the music to my ears
There are times, it mellows my heart
Sometimes, it crushes my soul
A word that rushes my blood,
making my heart pump faster and louder
The deafening silence it creates,
makes me suffocate
for the air you breathe,
polluted my lungs
like a water pulling me down in a blink
Whispers are tender,
giving me warm embrace
but the inaudible screams,
made me float in the
darkness of infinity,
wanting for a hum of lullaby
that'll kiss me goodnight*
(a.k)
Dec 29, 2014
Dec 29, 2014 at 3:51 PM UTC
Be my guest
**I write to remember that
I have emotion.
Its not my intention
to be liked at all.
Yeah I'd like to
be loved if its possible.**
By: thebelljar
This is me.
I could not have said it better.
I stay hidden,
But I'd like to be noticed.
This is my dream.
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 28, 2014 at 9:19 PM UTC
Okay, you try it,
to bring a superlative
upon a regular you
and
using a minimal
amount of
foreign words!
Let me show you
how hard it gets,
with a light exercise!
Here we go:
stitch
in red
a ribbon
hearted like
paint
an island
around it
get inside the draw
play with the pebbles
built a castle
and pretend
you're a troubadour
no one will know
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 28, 2014 at 6:19 PM UTC
I painfully remember i thought it was the end
When she led me on and wanted to be friends
I remember when he told, i felt betrayed
and i remember that feeling lasting for weeks and days
But like the tools in a old shed, you can rot ***
"friend" we are tight like i how i tie my shoe, Ha! we're knot, so
**From this day forth, Only foward i pedal
get the memo i am cutting the strings geppetto**
every relationship hangs by thread but they strung me along
and now that each cord is shreded and i feel so strong
Because I realized I shouldn't let other dictate my actions
and Act like a noble heir... Give no reaction
I love opinions weather you hate or enjoy me
But I will not let anyone or thing destroy me.
Jan 12, 2015
Jan 12, 2015 at 9:30 PM UTC
"Am I a fool, believing that I am something other than darkness, that my life isn't for nothing or is that nothing more than false hope as well?" ~~ Sir Poet
So foolish
That is me
Believing in impossible dreams
There's no light, only shadows
No one really knows
How much of a struggle
The sun and stars go through
To keep that luminescent glow
Didn't think about that, did you?
What is all the brightness worth
If the night is always sure to bring the dark?
What is all our lives truly worth
If the end is always surely a broken heart?
Just false hope,
A dream of something happy
Possibly a smile
That will only last a short while
You wanna believe in something?
Believe there's nothing...
Absolutely nothing
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 28, 2014 at 5:11 PM UTC
Hilaire Beloc
The South Country
And the great hills of the South country
come back into my mind
For the great hills of the South country
are my hills where I grew up as a child
Where I wandered the fields and the forests
and studied life in the wild
My heart belongs in the South country
'tis here I can sit and take note
Share my thoughts with my friends
and show them the words that I wrote
You can bury me here in the south country
with a tree standing over my grave
I need no long drawn out service
just a place that nature has made
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 28, 2014 at 4:36 PM UTC
Something that stands out so completely; Resilience, is not so very discreetly kept locked away from the planets you shine on, to their envy. ~~ Frank Ruland
Yes, I shine
I smile
I carry on through the days
But my light gets dimmer
Each passing moment
With nothing to shine on
I simply fill darkness with light
I don't bring anything
Those planets that envy?
They're crazy...
I shoot past,
The speed of light
(really fast)
What is there to be jealous of?
My speed...
My strength...
My bright, shining glow...
That may be so,
But what are all these things worth
If I have to do it all alone?
Absolutely Nothing
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 28, 2014 at 4:22 PM UTC