#idontknowwhattodo
Everyone's got their own to nurse
Every moment, every day
They lament in the verses of their curse
Daily... More would be incited to join the fray
They want to be seen and heard
They want to be consoled
From the petty absurd
To death's design enrolled
Counting on ready ears
And arms open wide
For me to wipe my tears
And be by their side
But I too, am living my own
I too, bleed my pen dry
I too, feel the misfit of my bones
I too, have my recurrent days to ply
I guess that's just being human
Expecting solace through words of grievance
We try so feebly to share the weight of burden
In the hopes that we'd plot our existence
I understand that the urge is great
So much so that we tend to forget
Others too, have had enough on their own plate
On which we pile our leftovers without regret
I am still here but.. It's time for some quiet
Be all I could be with minimal words said
For right now it's not working, this illusion of an outlet
Because I still see demons when I lay in bed
People can't do much with something so brittle
One could stay afloat if he learns to shout
I wish I could be more to everyone but I know so little...
Of what I feel so much about...
Nov 19, 2014
Nov 19, 2014 at 9:30 AM UTC
Burning up inside my chest
are hundreds of words,
spoken to myself,
just to be burned,
turned to ash with all the rest.
I've wanted to say
so many things to you,
I've even built up the courage,
to say at least a few.
Do you realize,
why I need to scream,
why I need to hit the wall,
why I wish this was a dream,
why I wish the whole facade would fall?
The reason is the trapped words,
the words that hide,
they're the reason for the frustrated tears in my eyes
they're the reason why out of humiliation and anger I cry
they're the reason why it doesn't matter how hard I try,
why it doesn't matter how hard you try.
There are words that I need to say,
there are words you need to hear,
but due to present fear,
the words will need to wait another day.
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 4:09 PM UTC
Why did you chose him over our 5 years friendship?
Why did you chose your and my ex over our 5 year friendship?
I hate it
Yet, I'm desperate
You have all my secrets
Secrets
I have locked within you
Now I'm scared that you
Might have the key to spill all of them
Hopefully you don't spill any of them
I'm scared
I'm terrified
I don't what to do
With you
It feels like I can't win you over anymore
Not without some gore
You're the reason why I started cutting
The cutting
Was influenced by you
I thought it was okay because of you
You're the reason why my grades started going downhill
And you're the reason why I started getting mentally ill
Yet I still hanged out with you because you were the only person that I thought was going to be my "best friend forever"
You're the one that went after my ex after I broke up with him
You and him
Made me into a relationship I didn't even like
Though, you helped me at times
Some harsh times
You helped me with situations
That had too many complications
I don't even know who to hang out with anymore
There's no more
It feels like people have betrayed me for other people
Other people
That I don't get along with anymore
No more
I'm stuck with friends I dislike
People I used to like
This is just life,
The discipline of life
I can't tell if I'm just the problem
Or if it's just them
I think it's for the best
For me to rest
From being the therapist
And the mother
Any further
I'm stuck here crying
Draining
Stressing
Overthinking
Everything
I'm too scared to speak up
Just so I don't break up
Any friendships
So I don't get kicked off of my own ship
Nov 10, 2024
Nov 10, 2024 at 10:13 PM UTC